extreme sex?

[YinandYang]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

 

[TaintedB]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

Normal, vanilla sex has never, once, "done it" for me. I tried for 15 or so years to make it work. Never so much as a tingle. I got through those years with a lot of masturbation and fantasies about the kind of sex I actually enjoy.

 

[rosco rathbone]

It gets worse: next thing,"extreme sex" gets boring.

 

[SlyKitten]

Thank you for starting a thread on that subject. I was going to start one given that this very issue has been on my mind a lot lately. I didn't start a thread out of shyness I guess; never having posted on the BDSM forums and all...

I feel exactly like you. Lately I can't seem to enjoy 'normal', equalitarian, playless sex. I have always been enjoying sex a lot more when some kind of play was involved, but now it's almost as if I don't have a good time at all if there is no power exchange or a little pain or humiliation involved.

It's scary and frustrating.

 

[Kajira Callista]

It gets worse: next thing,"extreme sex" gets boring.

such a smart man.

 

[h_i_s]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

i went through that 'phase' for 4 years prior to having met my Master ... and during those 4 years, i didn't just find it 'difficult to get off' .. i actually 'opted out' entirely. i chose celebacy over 'humdrum' and/or unmeaningful sex. And during the first three of those 4 years, i was involved in a 'live-in' relationship.

At present, i don't have that issue at all. We don't do 'vanilla'. There is always some form of BDSM involved for us.

 

[Netzach]

I went through this when I first started doing SM. Then I found that I actually can enjoy "normal" sex just fine on occasion, so long as I know that other options are on the table. That's key for me.

 

[curiousjen]

I guess it depends on what you mean by vanilla.

He is always in control. I can't get off any other way. He is always dominant and powerful- I need that at least, and like he needs my submission.

Often he will pin me down, or bite my neck or face fuck me or screw me when I'm not wet and it hurts or just plain old anal. Those dominance asserting actions are the bread and butter of our sex life, really. So in that sense, I guess we rarely do it totally "vanilla" (although on occasion it can be nice).

But as for full on spanking/pain play/bondage/total mind fuckery/ etc well that is a special treat for us. We ration the really extreme stuff out so that, as rosco says, it hopefully won't get stale and boring.

I think if it did I would cry.

 

[His_pita]

I have only had vanilla sex with the occasional kink thrown in. Now I'm going be in a live-in D/s relationship soon and I do wonder how that will be for u/Us?

Right now we do both really well through cyber and phone. So, I hope once were living together 24/7 we can continue that. We both really want the D/s side of sex very much. But, to me I think some vanilla thrown in on occasion would still be nice.

I also feel that since he is always my Dom even with vanilla sex the D/s will come through. It's who we are.

 

[Quint]

It gets worse: next thing,"extreme sex" gets boring.

Yup, I'm mostly there. S'why I never play on the illustrious jackoff thread...the shit I have to dream up now would definitely not make it on the forum.

 

[TaintedB]

Yup, I'm mostly there. S'why I never play on the illustrious jackoff thread...the shit I have to dream up now would definitely not make it on the forum.

What do you do then? Do you bounce back to normal sex? Extreme sex never got boring for me because pain always hurts. It never stops hurting. And I also never stopped being humiliated, for some reason. Never got used to it.

 

[FurryFury]

That's why I have these nasty and extreme fantasies that I play in my head. Need them. Have to have them.

Fury

 

[flowerchilde]

Well, as others have said, even during so called "vanilla" sex my Dom is still in charge and there is still some power exchange going on. There are times when he will just jump on in, no foreplay or anything and it drives me wild!

I agree that pain still hurts and I will still be embarrased by some things so our play will never become boring, we are so new at this that there are so many things left to explore that we will be occupied for a very long time still!

 

[FurryFury]

Yup, I'm mostly there. S'why I never play on the illustrious jackoff thread...the shit I have to dream up now would definitely not make it on the forum.

Well now I'm very curious dear Quint about the "shit" you would dream up!

I really want to know!

Fury

 

[coyotepondering]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

So far the yo-yo and peanut butter are still on the bedside table unused so I guess I haven't gotten there yet.

 

[FurryFury]

So far the yo-yo and peanut butter are still on the bedside table unused so I guess I haven't gotten there yet.

Hi coyotepondering!

LOL!

Two great things that go great together?

The yo yo has been used as a weapon in times past did you know that?

Fury

 

[Quint]

What do you do then? Do you bounce back to normal sex? Extreme sex never got boring for me because pain always hurts. It never stops hurting. And I also never stopped being humiliated, for some reason. Never got used to it.

I haven't really figured out an answer. Sometimes I just go through phases of not desiring sex...it isn't like pain doesn't hurt, it's just my desire of pain that is negatively affected. And acts that used to be wildly humiliating, like thorough rimming, are pretty mainstream to my humiliation mindset now. But the sex is still largely pretty great...the biggest deficit of desire I've found has just been in my quest for orgasms. I almost always have to have something to focus on, and now the majority of my edgy, taboo fantasies have been turned at least some part into reality, so I don't have any "extreme" to fall back on (besides acts that do not turn me on). So most of the time I just don't bother masturbating and only about once a week do I ask him to make me come.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I went through this when I first started doing SM. Then I found that I actually can enjoy "normal" sex just fine on occasion, so long as I know that other options are on the table. That's key for me.

Ka-ching, and one of the most difficult lessons to learn in the art of control.

 

[graceanne]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

K and I like a lot of variety. We don't only do 'play' when we have sex. Frankly, a rut is a rut, be it bdsm or not. I think that their's a time and place for everything, and that includes 'vanilla' sex.

 

[RomyDelaney]

I can't cum now without the fantasy in my head being extremely extreme, so much so that Lit has rejected my latest story because it was 'too much' I have to be practically dead before I get any pleasure out of pleasuring myself these days.

 

[FurryFury]

I can't cum now without the fantasy in my head being extremely extreme, so much so that Lit has rejected my latest story because it was 'too much' I have to be practically dead before I get any pleasure out of pleasuring myself these days.

Hi RomyDelaney,

*hugs*

I'm so sorry that your story was rejected that must hurt a lot. I kind of understand what you mean about needing more and more to come. So this story that lit rejected? How can I see it? I like extreme. It makes me very curious what is too extreme? Why is it considered that way? I have some stories I haven't written yet because I was worried how they would be perceived. I tend to have very extreme fantasies as well.

Anyway you are clearly not alone.

Fury

 

[RomyDelaney]

Hi RomyDelaney,

*hugs*

I'm so sorry that your story was rejected that must hurt a lot. I kind of understand what you mean about needing more and more to come. So this story that lit rejected? How can I see it? I like extreme. It makes me very curious what is too extreme? Why is it considered that way? I have some stories I haven't written yet because I was worried how they would be perceived. I tend to have very extreme fantasies as well.

Anyway you are clearly not alone.

Fury

Thanks FuryFury.

If you PM me your e-mail I'll send it to you. It isn't BDSM though. It's non-consent. They said it contained too much violence or some such crap....well, it was pretty bad actually.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks FuryFury.

If you PM me your e-mail I'll send it to you. It isn't BDSM though. It's non-consent. They said it contained too much violence or some such crap....well, it was pretty bad actually.

Hi RomyDelaney!

My pleasure.

Sounds good!

I love non-consent and violence.

PM sent lovely!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[graceanne]

If you like extreme bdsm stories go to www.bdsmlibrary.com. I don't go their often cause they're too extreme for me, so probably it'll work for you. I don't think their's anything they don't cover in their stories.

 

[FurryFury]

If you like extreme bdsm stories go to www.bdsmlibrary.com. I don't go their often cause they're too extreme for me, so probably it'll work for you. I don't think their's anything they don't cover in their stories.

Thanks beautiful GraceAnne!

I will so check it out!

How very thoughtful you are!

Want a cookie? I just bought some double stuff oreos and I have milk!

*grins*

Fury