Expanding on Sufisaint's thread

[Calamity Jane]

Once you're in a committed relationship, what would make you walk out the door without looking back?

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Being late for work?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Being late for work?

~laughing~

Almost nothing would make me walk out the door, short of living with a serial killer or a previously unknown pedophile.

I am one to never burn bridges with people. I do my best to prevent others from doing so but sometimes it can't be stopped. I will however, almost never be the one to put the match to the bridge.

 

[bad kitty]

If I didn't love them or they didn't love me any more. But then again, we have kids and no matter what I feel (hypothetically), I can't cheat my children from having both parents.

 

[lovetoread]

Cheating and lying.

Left without looking back.

 

[bad kitty]

Cheating and lying.

Left without looking back.

Ooooh that's a good one. But it would have to be serious offenses

 

[Tantanah]

Infidelity.

Abuse.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I can't cheat my children from having both parents.

My wife and I both feel the same way.

We have also told each other numerous times that no matter if one of us wanted a divorce or not, it just wouldn't happen.

Communication is the key. Don't communicate fully, and you get the problems that lead to walking out and not looking back.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Bleeding my soul dry.

Sucking all of the joy out of life.

Treating me like the wallpaper.

Having the energy of a slug.

Constant negativity.

Ineffective parenting.

And the list goes on ....

 

[Calamity Jane]

I can't cheat my children from having both parents.

Do you honestly think they'd be better off with unhappy married parents than happy divorced ones?

I don't know what my bottom lines are anymore... I used to think it was being hit, but I proved to myself that I can learn to live with that... it's not infidelity, to me that's just not a big deal... lack of respect is a big one, but harder to pin down... am I the only person who has no idea what they can't deal with?

 

[Calamity Jane]

Bleeding my soul dry.

Sucking all of the joy out of life.

Treating me like the wallpaper.

Having the energy of a slug.

Constant negativity.

Ineffective parenting.

And the list goes on ....

Ignore my previous post, Ruby just channeled me.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I forgot a biggie - being passive/aggressive or using any other emotional manipulations against me on a regular basis.

Looks like we're in the same boat, Girlie. Want a paddle?

 

[peachykeen]

OK I saw this thing on like Dateline or one of those shows once: this guy was married, family, all that. Was a salesman, out of town a lot. Wife finds videotape he left in VCR that he has made of himself fucking women who are obviously unconscious - turns out he was knocking 'em out with rohypnol that he got on his business trips to Mexico.

She shopped him to the cops and called her lawyer.

I would do the same.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Do you honestly think they'd be better off with unhappy married parents than happy divorced ones?

Well, it would either be two unhappy married parentsliving under the same roof, or two unhappy parents living seperate, and shuffling the kids back and forth, playing politics. Either way, the kids would know their parents didn't like each other.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Rubyfruit]

I agree, cat. It's a bitter pill to swallow.

 

[patient1]

Purely theoretical

I have no experience as a spouse or a parent.

I think my responsibillties would be to place my children before my own happiness. Breaking a family usually puts everyone in financial hardship.

On the other hand, what kind of example are you setting for them? That hitting & lying & whatever are normal? Are those behaviors family heirlooms?


A lot of people justify & rationalize their behavior by saying they 're doing something because of the kids. Ddddoesn't make it true.

I would hope that the best interests of the children would be my criteria.


End of rediculous rant. We now return to our regular programming.

 

[sufisaint]

Just daily mental abuse...the snide comments, the little insults, the lack of compassion, the loneliness is the worst without the frredom to change it ..they all add up..i much rather take in right in the heart and get little razor cuts each day...day after day....did that already..

 

[brokenbrainwave]

great question, I have left in my mind a thousand times, yet I am still here without plans on going anywhere. There are only two things that would cause me to leave and never look back, abuse my sons or try and control me.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Rubyfruit]

At least you do that right together. I can't say the same for my situation.

 

[HeavyStick]

on the receiving end of an STD

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Once you're in a committed relationship, what would make you walk out the door without looking back?

I would walk out of a committed relationship if he cheated and lied to me.

I really don't care for men who are dishonest.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[bad kitty]

Do you honestly think they'd be better off with unhappy married parents than happy divorced ones?

I didn't say it was right for all people. If abuse is involved then most definately leave.

I have been in the situation of being extremely unhappy. I wanted to leadve and go back home, but home is half a continent away and doing so meant that my babies wouldn't be able to see their daddy. I was so ready to pack my bags until I realized that. My husband is not a bad man at all and he loves his kids despirately. I couldn't be selfish and only think of myself when I would be hurting 3 innocent people. He already has one son from a previous marriage and I remember how he would cry every night months after the divorce cause he couldn't see his son. The same thing has had devistating repercussions on his son. Why is my happiness more important than 3 other people, especially 2 that I love more than life?

Thankfully that time has past and all is better now, but it was very real.