Even More Random Thoughts

[TongueLust]

Happy Full Moon!#CandleMagick

 

[lifeisgood3976]

I love warm (even hot) weather. Sometimes I feel like the only one who does. Previous posts above are evidence of this.

 

[TongueLust]

There's nothing like a little Northern Cree in the morning to get the blood flowing.

 

[TongueLust]

Protect that heart, it's not what it seems.

 

[TongueLust]

A dream with a white horse, that's when you'll know.

 

[nowisthetime]

I'm hooked on watching Badlands Chugs videos.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Good grief. Some people.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Am I the only one who had trouble keeping thoughts Im thinking in my brain. They seem incomplete if I never get the chance to talk them out somewhere. Hmm I guess that's what I pay my therapist for.

 

[TongueLust]

Full Moon - July 10, 2025.

 

[TongueLust]

Prepare for a last minute trip, just in case.
I hope not, but you might have to travel to help them.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I stumbled upon something I wrote in a thread way back in 2006. It made me chuckle. It is a true story that I "might have embellished" a tad...but the core of the story (and some quotes) are 100% accurate.

It is lengthy. Enjoy!

====================

The Set-Up

I was sleeping soundly and VERY relaxed. I was about to turn over and get back to that calm, restful, comfy place I had just been in. The world was perfect - luxurious comfort and peace.

The First Inkling

As I rolled over, I was barely conscious of this feeling. I couldn't quite make out what the feeling was telling me, but it was just beginning to give me a sense of discomfort. This portion of the tale lasted a few milliseconds at most, but I could just feel the start of adrenalin kicking in. The last moments of blissful relaxation were officially over.

The Event

It is approximately 4:45 in the morning when this all happens. The initial stages came so suddenly as to startle me completely awake. At first, all I could do was understand that my life was being turned upside down instantly. Immediate recognition that, "This was a bad one" registered just long enough to cause a high degree of panic in me. I knew it was going to take all the courage and bravery I possessed if I was going to survive this episode and not look like a complete moron. Naturally I found, I definitely did NOT have what it takes to remain "cool"...and started whimpering instantly.

As my right calf started the initial tantrum of a cramp, I instinctively attempted to unwrap it from the confines of my blanket and sheet. But all I got from my initial actions was to wedge the leg into a position that frustratingly resulted in imbedding the foot deeper and at a more awkward angle than it was before the cramp started. I tried simply prying the leg free, but the more I struggled, the more intense the feeling of indescribable pain that followed. Surely, I was about to die. This was the most painful cramp I had ever experienced...ever...and I was not reacting, or dealing, with the situation in the most efficient manner possible.

The Initial Reactions

At the instant it became clear that I was not having a nightmare and that this really was happening to me, I yelped out a throaty, "FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKK" at a decibel level not heard since the invention of the jet airplane engine. Most every living soul within 5 miles of me instantly awakened from THEIR perfect sleep to hear the next 30 seconds of my agony. If I was going to have to suffer thru this, then the rest of humanity (that I now hated with all my being) was also going to suffer along with me.

Unfortunately for my still sleeping girlfriend laying right next to me, my penetrating screams of "MOTHER FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKERRR......FUCCCCKKKK MEEEEEEEEE.......FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKK MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..." appeared to startle her somewhat. Somehow, she immediately sensed that I was in distress...and within seconds concluded I was a freakin' pussy extraordinaire and rolled over laughing at my pathetic ass...(side note: That clinched it for me....no lube for her next time we have anal sex).

Meanwhile, the lights of the few hundred households within earshot of my pathetic cries for help and salvation started turning on. Those closer to me first (it seems that sound travels in a linear manner - those closest to my pitiful screams of sheer agony turned on first, and as the distance increased from me, the time to turn on the lights within the house also did - a little side physics experiment had broken out as a result of my wailing and gnashing of teeth).

As soon as the now-awake alpha males of all the households understood that this was in fact NOT a case of barbarians attempting to crash the gates of their home, but rather, just a nearby pathetic and weak person with lusty lung capacity screaming for God to deliver him from this Hell called, "A Cramp," laughter could be heard across the land. The bastards were laughing at my plight (side note: I just added to my rolodex file a mental tickler to plant new grass seed over their existing lawn, and spell out the words, "FUCK YOU" with the seeds...such that, as the newer and greener grass grows faster than the existing grass, my words of revenge shall spring forth as if by the hand of God).

My Ongoing Plight

By now, I have realized that my leg is firmly wedged into the blanket, and that my survival relies on my ability to unwrap my leg immediately. Therefore, with all the strength I posses (which is a lot considering I am in agony and anything would be preferrable to my ongoing display of whimpering), I twisted around and eventually freed the leg.

Unfortunately for my girlfriend, that same move also resulted in her being bare-ass naked without any sheets or blankets. In her attempt to help me in my most dire circumstances, she simply cried out, "What the FUCK is wrong with you!?"

My direct, and to the point answer, as best I can recall (I was having difficulty breathing at this point), was a raspy, "FUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU.....FUUUUCCCKKKKKK, I am DYYYYING HERE....YOU BITTTTTCCCCCHHHHH......FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK" or something very close to that.

Her reaction was to laugh again at my plight (is it any wonder why I love her?) - the bitch.

I was able to stand up and eventually, this entire episode, which lasted about 30 seconds, ended. I was sore...irritated...unable to get back to sleep...but slowly, surely, the rest of humanity returned to their slumber...and all was well with the world.

Meanwhile

As my girlfriend returned to sleep, and my neighbors returned to their sleep, I was plotting.

"Hide the Astro glide. Buy new lawn seed..."

 

[TongueLust]

Happy Full Moon!

 

[TongueLust]

They're not sharing everything, could be spiraling. I'd sacrifice cost and go see them.

 

[ericalauren]

I feel so bad when someone invites me to an event that I'm unable to attend. For example, my friend invited me to her nephew's bar mitzvah next month. However, it's a bit of a drive from where I live, and long car rides really aggravate my fibromyalgia pain. What a bummer!

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I wonder what’s the one thing the whole world lies about the most?

 

[F3x0r]

I wonder what’s the one thing the whole world lies about the most?

Happiness

 

[ericalauren]

Tea is my favorite way to get caffeine. I will, however, settle for an energy drink like Red Bull or Celsius. I'll never drink coffee, though!

 

[Trubbycat]

That little hair that grows in your ear that you can’t get rid of can drive you insane with itching.

 

[TongueLust]

Wish I could spiritually cleanse a few of them.
#FreshStart🕯

 

[AnalCreampieGiver]

Pre shower ACG and post shower ACG are two almost completely different people

 

[Mo_Bandy]

That little hair that grows in your ear that you can’t get rid of can drive you insane with itching.

Could be hair but usually itch for other reasons. Could just need to treat ears for sinus or wax related issues. Some people even get slight yeast infections in ears.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Tea is my favorite way to get caffeine. I will, however, settle for an energy drink like Red Bull or Celsius. I'll never drink coffee, though!

I have never had an energy drink. Rarely drink soda. Only coffee. Sometimes tea.

 

[ericalauren]

I love drinking water and I've never been able to relate to folks who hate it.

 

[Trubbycat]

I have never had an energy drink. Rarely drink soda. Only coffee. Sometimes tea.

Coffee has a strong and unpleasant effect on my digestive system. Tea for me, and occasionally soda.

 

[Girly_girl]

What an angry, miserable, little man you are.