Eating disorders and being a little/sub

[maryannem]

Sorry for deleting this post.

 

[KatKnees]

Any littles or other submissives here who've ever suffered from an eating disorder? Or any Doms/Masters/Daddies who've had any experience in this? Either controlling what your sub eats, or else finding it difficult to make your sub eat? I'd love to hear any experiences as am starting to feel these parts of me are somehow linked.

I developed anorexia as a pre-teen, and have had bouts of it ever since (I'm now in my 30s...) Lots of healthier times in between, but it's never too far away.

I am new to the world of DD/lg, but it's all making increasing sense, and I can't help but look back over my life, and feel that the tell tale signs were there from a young age. Starving off teenagehood and remaining as little as possible, having 'adult' clothes refusing to fit me, always felt so...right....?

The sensation I have during ED relapses definitely overlaps what I've come to recognise as 'little space'.

I recently lost my wonderful Daddy, and my eating disorder has suddenly begun to slowly resurface after several years of absence.

It's poignant and sad because I could not have been in safer and more caring hands than my Daddy's, and now what feels vaguely similar (only in certain ways), couldn't be more dangerous or abusive. Not the same things at all, opposites in fact, but somehow also maybe linked.

wow this is really crazy but I just made an account (have been lurking for quite awhile) to post a very similar question.

I have a history with disordered eating and have noticed when I'm stressed I slip back into restricting and at the same time I become more interested in the sub role. I'm very new to BDSM, I've fantasized about it for so long but I have not really acted on it. I think it makes sense though, for me, I have a bit of obsessive compulsive personality and issues with restricting, so sub lifestyle seems sort of like the opposite, like I control all day and want someone to just take it away. I could see there being a link.

I'm sorry you have lost your Daddy, I hope you have peace and are able to work through it.

 

[maryannem]

Deleted.

 

[CutieMouse]

Eating disorders are one of those things that one never "gets over"; it's more of a "in permanent recovery" sort of thing (IMO).

If your ED is triggered, it has to be dealt with. If your relapses coincide with "little space", you have to learn how to manage "little space" and your ED triggers.

I dealt with anorexia as a teen, as a coping mechanism for a lot of things that were out of my control. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to be little, look little, not grow up, etc. and no connection to my D/s. It was simply the only thing I could find, that I could actually control. 30+ years later, I am still mindful of my relationship with food, but from a health standpoint. If I notice unhealthy habits, I deal with them. If I notice triggers, I make the necessary adjustments to prevent them from causing problems. If I need a support system, I find one.

 

[KatKnees]

That is weird - I'm sure we aren't the first to wonder, but weird to wonder at the same time...!

I'm sorry to hear you've had similar issues. I've also thought about D/s for a long time, and only recently really began to feel the power and freedom of it. Honestly, yes, my heart is broken and I'm struggling to adapt.

My Daddy had begun to take over so much of me - very skilfully and beautifully. It is my fault we are not together now. I'm desperately trying to fill the emptiness he's left in me, the problem being that every single one of the things I'm doing is only damaging in the long term. Control, yes, but no care or understanding. It's a cold place. It's like going through the motions of serving and belonging to some other force, but the other force is just a negative presence in your head, so in reality, you are serving/pleasing no one, only wasting. Literally.

So yes, in this state of very limited experience and total heartbreak, I'd say yes, D/s can be a wonderful way to regain and nurture yourself, ironically whilst giving yourself to another. If your instinct is to submit, nothing feels better than doing so with love, and seeing happiness in the person generous enough to own you.

pm me if you ever want to talk more - about any of these things. And good luck exploring!

you describe it so well, I get sort of lost in myself in a vicious cycle. I totally get it.

 

[Lord_Steve]

Any littles or other submissives here who've ever suffered from an eating disorder? Or any Doms/Masters/Daddies who've had any experience in this? Either controlling what your sub eats, or else finding it difficult to make your sub eat? I'd love to hear any experiences as am starting to feel these parts of me are somehow linked.

I developed anorexia as a pre-teen, and have had bouts of it ever since (I'm now in my 30s...) Lots of healthier times in between, but it's never too far away.

I am new to the world of DD/lg, but it's all making increasing sense, and I can't help but look back over my life, and feel that the tell tale signs were there from a young age. Starving off teenagehood and remaining as little as possible, having 'adult' clothes refusing to fit me, always felt so...right....?

The sensation I have during ED relapses definitely overlaps what I've come to recognise as 'little space'.

I recently lost my wonderful Daddy, and my eating disorder has suddenly begun to slowly resurface after several years of absence.

It's poignant and sad because I could not have been in safer and more caring hands than my Daddy's, and now what feels vaguely similar (only in certain ways), couldn't be more dangerous or abusive. Not the same things at all, opposites in fact, but somehow also maybe linked.

Speaking as someone with a history of disordered eating: It sounds like you are looking for affirmation of an unhealthy lifestyle. That's okay! Many of us have been in that same headspace. Dysmorphia is not your fault. Please don't conflate your ED with your sex life. I know that therapy is stigmatized, but you should give it a shot.

 

[Lord_Steve]

Eating disorders are one of those things that one never "gets over"; it's more of a "in permanent recovery" sort of thing (IMO).

If your ED is triggered, it has to be dealt with. If your relapses coincide with "little space", you have to learn how to manage "little space" and your ED triggers.

I dealt with anorexia as a teen, as a coping mechanism for a lot of things that were out of my control. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to be little, look little, not grow up, etc. and no connection to my D/s. It was simply the only thing I could find, that I could actually control. 30+ years later, I am still mindful of my relationship with food, but from a health standpoint. If I notice unhealthy habits, I deal with them. If I notice triggers, I make the necessary adjustments to prevent them from causing problems. If I need a support system, I find one.

Yes, exactly. I was bulimic for five years or so, and, in retrospect it was always a matter of self-control.

Forgive your foibles, but don't forget them. It isn't weak to seek professional help.

 

[SpunThings]

If you're struggling to cope in healthy ways, it's perfectly ok to ask for help.

 

[thedukeofpuke]

used to be anorexic, then bulimic, now just me.

 

[LostGirlTink]

used to be anorexic, then bulimic, now just me.

You were just you then as well.
No one ever defeats an eating disorder, it still remains a part of you.
I battled with eating disorders for years before getting it under control and I still have issues now and then. .

Eating disorders often manifest as a control thing, so I can absolutely see there being a link of some kind.
In a healthy D/s relationship the goal should be to help you make healthy choices, to help you be your best possible you, and hopefully good choices will eventually become your default.
Good luck to you with this struggle.
I realized after I responded that this is an old thread but maybe it’ll be helpful to someone

 

[thedukeofpuke]

You were just you then as well.
No one ever defeats an eating disorder, it still remains a part of you.
I battled with eating disorders for years before getting it under control and I still have issues now and then. .

Eating disorders often manifest as a control thing, so I can absolutely see there being a link of some kind.
In a healthy D/s relationship the goal should be to help you make healthy choices, to help you be your best possible you, and hopefully good choices will eventually become your default.
Good luck to you with this struggle.
I realized after I responded that this is an old thread but maybe it’ll be helpful to someone

Well, I'm in my 40s and it hasn't been "under control" for more than a couple of years, and was a problem for a couple of decades. The choice becomes a lot more about self preservation and the cost/benefit analysis really changes as age sets in. I didn't magically get better, time slowly changed the rules on me. People who don't respect that generally wind up dead, and I was never suicidal.