Double standards

[Stella_Omega]

Well, how very kind of you!

I'm all heart... and various other organs...

Ooh, so are you!

 

[keeblercrumb]

I'm all heart... and various other organs...

Ooh, so are you!

You see? Just when you thought it was just another big angry crowd all shouting at each so loudly nobody could hear....

And then you notice two of the women have slipped into a dark corner and begun necking.... and they are letting me watch.

And THAT is why I love this place. Well... also because I like throwing spit balls at Ami.



-KC

 

[cantdog]

Yes, I quite agree - if you don't like what you see, AVOID it. There is nothing forcing people to respond to these threads at all and no need to attack, as some did on that thread, quite nastily.

There were a couple who had nothing to contribute and no intention of addressing the thread. They saw others attacking and had to add their vitriolic piece.

And I notice none of them have come here. They either see nothing at all wrong with their actions, or they know EXACTLY what and who I'm talking to and have slunk off like the dogs they are.

That's what makes me ashamed - the hangers on who contribute nothing to the site and little to any debate but always line up behind others to throw insults at the unwary.

Someone with a genuine question ought to compose the question carefully to elicit genuine responses. Particularly if that someone gets H's, I'd expect him to be able to write a thread opener to serve his purpose. You get what you pay for.

That question has been asked here before, and some of the time it's gotten some really thoughtful, revealing replies. It's all how you ask it. If I'd checked his scorecard, I'd have been that much more convinced he was just out fishing for thrills, because on the face of it, it looks like the man is capable of writing if he wants to put forth the effort.

I've written blowjobs from a female POV. I did all right with it, too, if I can believe my female readership, and I don't have 17 stories. But I was able to ask here on the AH about female orgasm and about rape fantasies and get real answers, too.

 

[DeeZire]

What a moronic thing to say.

Moronic? Is this high school?

I wonder if a woman asked for a man's opinion about what the act of intercourse felt like (emotionally and physically) and heard from a bunch of men telling her to stick a vibrator up her pussy and go fuck one of her girlfriends to find out (even if she's straight).....Do you suppose that might not have gone over too well?

I'm focusing on his question about whether or not the person giving the blowjob can feel the head of the penis expand right before it ejaculates. The easiest way to find out is to actually do the act. I stand by my mowing-the-lawn analogy.

The question from a woman to the man would be a totally different scenario, because, unlike a blowjob, the actual act would be impossible for the woman to do, since she doesn't have a dick to stick into a pussy. With the blowjob, the physical parts are the same in both scenarios - a dick goes into a mouth. Is the physiology really that hard to understand?

I appreciate the OP's interest in the head trips a woman goes through when sucking dick, but I really don't think it would be that much different from what a man goes through doing the same thing. If the OP actually had some experience in the field, it would be a lot easier for him to understand the woman's POV. If he doesn't wish to delve that far into the subject, I question his commitment to his art.

You read about authors researching their work - they move to foreign locals, they take jobs they're not qualified for, (or they're overqualified for,) they enter into unhealthy relationships, all for the sake of getting the story. It's part of the process.

Of course we all have different values, different places where we draw the line. I don't think that's 'moronic', I think it's just individual personalities dealing with the world in individual ways. If the OP draws the line at giving a blowjob, his information is going to be second-hand, and his writing is going to suffer because of it. I don't consider the OP to be moronic, I just think he's looking for the easy way out.

They say 'write what you know'. They say that for a reason.

 

[Liar]

Serious about the guy giving a blowjob to find out what it's like? Of course!

Oh well. Can't really take this any furthrer then. We're obviously on different planets, proverbially speaking.

Unless I'm writing my autobiography, I don't see why asking people with personal experience of stuff I don't have as a means of research would be something to scoff at. Each to their own.

They say 'write what you know'. They say that for a reason.

I remember reading one or two of your stories. Are you a song writing Viking? (fun story, btw) I also remember an incest story. I assume you did proper research for that too?

 

[keeblercrumb]

Someone with a genuine question ought to compose the question carefully to elicit genuine responses. Particularly if that someone gets H's, I'd expect him to be able to write a thread opener to serve his purpose. You get what you pay for.

That question has been asked here before, and some of the time it's gotten some really thoughtful, revealing replies. It's all how you ask it. If I'd checked his scorecard, I'd have been that much more convinced he was just out fishing for thrills, because on the face of it, it looks like the man is capable of writing if he wants to put forth the effort.

I've written blowjobs from a female POV. I did all right with it, too, if I can believe my female readership, and I don't have 17 stories. But I was able to ask here on the AH about female orgasm and about rape fantasies and get real answers, too.

Well, first of all, I prefer personal research into these matters, it is much more fun.

Next, I am not a believer in the universality of a gender response (that is "Ami-talk" for all women "feel" a sex act in the same way). And thank God for that, I say! Anyway, I would not ask the question to begin with unless it was directed at a specific individual which is unlikely here on the board.

But Starrker's central point, which has, in my opinion, considerable merit, is that there is a double standard on this sort of question. I offer the following in support of this:

For the sake of argument, let us assume that the thread in question was totally insincere, the purpose being transparently to solicit a titillating response from women here on AH, innocent virigins they may be.

And so... HE gets the ridicule which I, uhhh.. HE richly deserves...(Oh and let us assume HE is not an masochist, which I... uhhh HE is not)

Now... for the double standard bit. Exact same scenario but the writer is a woman, even better with a titillating AV.. (NOT commercial spam!!).. What response would it draw? "How does it feel to a man when his cock is sucked?"

Would the male authors here respond with the derision such as experienced in the case noted here?

I think we can safely say the responses would be sincere and probably accompanied by an epic flood of PM's...

Having made your "bones" here, Cant, your questions will be greeted with an honest and sincere response, no matter how it is asked…. Which is not say someone will not tell you suck cheese and die but at least they will be sincere about it.

But this double standard exists and this sort of thing happens. Not because the women on the AH are intrinsically evil or anything. It happens probably because there are far many hornier, lonely men online then there are women so it is seen as more acceptable to be dismissive of men.

Luckily, there are numerous, lovely horny women here who buck the trend….. Well maybe not “buck” exactly…. And I love them all the more for it.



-KC

 

[Guest]

Suck cheese?

 

[SemiColon]

OK, I know I am new here, but could someone explain something to me, please? I write and read erotica because I like to read, write, talk about and have sex. I don't care if people in RL ask me really personal questions, I just don't answer them if I don't want to. Online I am very likely to answer a highly sexual question, it is my choice to answer, and the asking doesn't offend me in the slightest, no matter how it's worded. It never occured to me that writers here would be sensative to being asked questions. THis is not an attack, this is a genuine bewilderment here.

I write a lot of gay male stories. How am I to get the male perspective? I have no penis, prostate or testicles. I picked a male editor for this reason, and was told that my work was "sterotypical" and that I should have done better research asking gay men about sex....well now I'm rather glad I didn't ask here, although it appears I would have gotten a nicer response from the men. I know a lot of gay men in RL, but would never have the nerve to ask really personal questions of them, so I read the top list in the gay male category for research...except that most of the stories were written by women, who also don't have the male equipment.

I resent the idea that since he can write he should have worded it better. I can write but lack social skills, one would think an online forum would be a good place for someone who lacks social skills to communicate with others, yet now I'm scared to post anything.

I do think that we as women feel justified in bashing men-look at how our society has normalized man-bashing to the point where it is no longer seen as odd to have a commercial showing men as inept idiots who can't go to the grocery store without pictures on cans of soup emailed to their phone. We would never treat women this way.

I was raised in an ultra-feminst house, my mother is a lesbian for God's sake. I went to ERA marches since I could walk by myself, holding my mother's hand. I got a ton of shit form my moms for choosing to be a stay at home mother and raise my two boys (God help them in today's climate) but it is about equality and the right to choose...not about female superiority.

Sorry for the rant but I am really and truly bewildered here. If you look, Rob and I have about the same number of posts, so I imagine his experience is similar to mine.

One more question- if I find it a complement if someone strokes to one of my stories, why would I care if they stroked to one of my posts?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Oh! You can make it up and plenty of women will resonate with your accuracy, because the experience is different for everyone.

STELLA Youre a dead ringer for Barney Fife's mother.

 

[keeblercrumb]

Suck cheese?

Why yes...... Would like a like to nibble on my cambozola?

Aged, albeit, but super creamy on the palate..



-KC

 

[Guest]

Why yes...... Would like a like to nibble on my cambozola?

Aged, albeit, but super creamy on the palate..



-KC

You have such a way with words.

 

[keeblercrumb]

You have such a way with words.

Hold that thought....

I need to go book the room.....



-KC

 

[freshface]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm also new here and share your bewilderment.

I resent the idea that since he can write he should have worded it better. I can write but lack social skills, one would think an online forum would be a good place for someone who lacks social skills to communicate with others, yet now I'm scared to post anything.

Me too. About the time I work up the courage to join in, something like this happens and I go back in the shadows again. I guess I was lucky to get a more positive response when I went to the BDSM forum for research.

I write a lot of gay male stories. How am I to get the male perspective? I have no penis, prostate or testicles. I picked a male editor for this reason, and was told that my work was "sterotypical" and that I should have done better research asking gay men about sex....well now I'm rather glad I didn't ask here, although it appears I would have gotten a nicer response from the men. I know a lot of gay men in RL, but would never have the nerve to ask really personal questions of them, so I read the top list in the gay male category for research...except that most of the stories were written by women, who also don't have the male equipment.

My editor was kind enough to explain the technical details that weren't quite right without suggesting better research. I came to the forums looking for help when I wrote a story and stayed because I found a mostly open minded and creative group. I don't know that I would have the courage to ask for help now, but do learn a lot from the discussions.

Also, it assumes a lot that you have a willing partner, even if you do have the right equipment.

One more question- if I find it a complement if someone strokes to one of my stories, why would I care if they stroked to one of my posts?

I think the difference is that posts here include details about pets, families, jobs, etc., so this feels more like a gathering of friends, or at least acquaintances. A story isn't as personal because it isn't real.

 

[sr71plt]

I think this is being overanalyzed to death.

What I think Starrker's original point was--which I think is relevant--is that there are those here who like to jump straight to derision in response to those without club standing here and that there are others who specialize in then piling on. Not unusual for a discussion board, but no reason not to point out occasionally that it's disgusting behavior in order to keep it trimmed back a bit.