Double standards

[Recidiva]

It would sort of limit the erotica that straight men could write, wouldn't it?

I don't think you should be required to murder someone in order to write about a murderer.

 

[starrkers]

Hmmm. As far as I can see Srplt was accused of nothing--beyond Cloudy's usual diatribe (and Starrkers later jab)--having posted nothing to either the mansome or the deep throat thread. My sin, apparently, was in thinking this thread referred to the mansome thread (since it didn't bother to specify what it referred to).

Think you can call it a day, though, as Rob, who appeared to be a nice guy, has been well run off.

My apologies for that sr. I included you in that grouping only because you have butted heads with many who have been on this thread crying foul and they have pigeonholed you a certain way.
Sorry

 

[SemiColon]

After what happened on his thread, I felt compelled to contact Rob. It seemed to me he could use a friend who wouldn't put him in the line of fire. Turns out that he's a very charming, witty and kind person. His question, I feel, was sincere, asked in the interest of understanding.

Seems to me that a lot of people missed a good opportunity to meet someone worth knowing. Just saying...

I did the same, and had the same experience. Also read his work, and was impressed with it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I did the same, and had the same experience. Also read his work, and was impressed with it.

yes, I've been talking with him also. Nice guy, feeling pretty sorry for himself right now. I do hope he sticks around.

As always, it comes down to the very same etiquette anyone would use in any new bar in real life. If anyone here has ever hollered out a question about deep throating as they strode in the door-- I'd love to hear about what happened!

 

[SweetWitch]

I did the same, and had the same experience. Also read his work, and was impressed with it.

Yeah, he's a keeper.

yes, I've been talking with him also. Nice guy, feeling pretty sorry for himself right now. I do hope he sticks around.

As always, it comes down to the very same etiquette anyone would use in any new bar in real life. If anyone here has ever hollered out a question about deep throating as they strode in the door-- I'd love to hear about what happened!

That's exactly how I explained it to him. He took it like a man.

 

[Guest]

Yeah, he's a keeper.


That's exactly how I explained it to him. He took it like a man.

That's good, then.

His last PM to me was a lengthy rant. I sent a brief - WTF? but hadn't had a chance to get back to it until today.

 

[SweetWitch]

That's good, then.

His last PM to me was a lengthy rant. I sent a brief - WTF? but hadn't had a chance to get back to it until today.

He's much calmer today, and probably loving all the feminine attention.

 

[Stella_Omega]

He's much calmer today, and probably loving all the feminine attention.

Hmm. I'm on the verge of saying something obnoxious. Will you all PM me and give me a good talking to?

 

[sr71plt]

Hmm. I'm on the verge of saying something obnoxious. Will you all PM me and give me a good talking to?

I haven't PM'ed him today, so he has to make do with feminine attention. There, does that help? (No, I didn't think so. )

 

[DeeZire]

Uh. You serious?

Serious about the guy giving a blowjob to find out what it's like? Of course! This is, after all, Literotica, right? To me, it's the same scenario as a guy asking how it feels to mow the lawn, cause he's too lazy to do it himself. I wouldn't condone murdering someone to find out what that feels like, but sex between consenting adults is supposed to be a victimless crime, (depending on your political philosophy, I suppose.)

But since the guy claims he's already sucked dick, I suppose he's off the hook for being so persistent in his demand for information on the subject.

 

[starrkers]

So another potentially decent authorial poster departs.

{snip}Needless to say, my reception was pretty much as received by the guy being discussed in this thread. It was, of course, embarrassing and a little humiliating to be castigated by total strangers who seemed to have forgotten what brought them here to begin with.{snip}

And that is the whole point. This forum purports to be a forum for authors of erotica, smut, porn call it what you will.

With how many people outside of Lit can you openly discuss sexual acts and writing about them? A few of us have no one at all.

Do you remember the sheer joy and feeling of liberty when you first stumbled across this forum? Somewhere you could talk about your writing without being scorned or considered a pervert of the worst kind.

That's the average newbie.

In the time I've been here I've seen many newbies run off by antagonist posts from long term members. On the few occasions they've been called on it the answer is always the same: So many newbies are just trolls looking for wanking material or potential stalkers.

Big deal. We write wank material. This site is devoted to the great human tradition of getting off. And stalkers? On a board with an ignore function, that shouldn't be much of an issue. If you're silly enough to hand out personal information, you probably shouldn't be on the net in the first place.

Whatever happened to the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" or, if you prefer "give 'em enough rope and they'll hang themselves"?

I'm not saying you should greet every newbie with open arms and spill every last item of your soul into their lap. I am saying you should give them a chance to settle in and find their niche before passing judgement on them.

***

3113: Thanks for quoting my post out of order and therefore out of context. I won't return the favour.

I'm not wanting everyone to feel guilty, I'm asking them to look at what they wrote from a newbie's point of view. And it seems many have felt guilty. I didn't say everyone had a go at this bloke, just "some". Yet you couldn't differentiate between the blatant insulting posts and your own. Hmm.

Seems to me the most strident (not stringent, dear) posts have been the defensive ones, screaming "How dare you" at me and trying to deflect blame to others. That's a pretty childish response, so pardon the ensuing parental tone.

I don't know that no one read his stuff, or looked up his profile. I infer that from the responses he received. No, having stories up doesn't exonerate him from possible slimy bastardry; but having none up would certainly point more towards it.

*sigh* OK, now I'll explain in detail the Mahatma Gandhi reference. You said

His 14 stories don't mean dick. He could still be gleefully fucking with the women on this forum as either a troll or a asshole or a pervert. Come to that, we don't even know if the person asking the question is the writer who wrote those stories! It could be his 16 year old son using his login.

My point was: we don't know anything about anyone beyond what they tell us. Which could be anything from total truth to complete bullshit. He could be anyone; you could be anyone; I could be anyone. For all I know you are a serial rapist doing time. But I will accept the persona you present, until such time as it becomes obvious it is a lie. And two posts ain't long enough.

What the hell does my kids talking to strangers have to do with the internet? But I'll bite. My children have been taught to speak politely to EVERYONE. They have been taught to be wary of strangers, but to be polite in declining offers and then run like hell if necessary.
This is an erotica forum. What the hell are the slimeballs gonna do? Stab us with their pointy words, rape us with their wit? Give me a break. Ignore them , that what the function is for.

And in the end I don't care if you take offence.. You're a big girl (or at least purport to be) and have been here for years, you know how it works. I do care if newbies take offence, because they won't be back and that ultimately reflects not only on the AH, but on the Literotica forums and the entire site.

And no, I'm not deeply upset. I'm amused that you accuse me of ranting.

If it's just a rant, then rant and ignore answers that disagree with you. If it's a discussion, then act in the way you wish others to act--assume that they're trying to see the "good" in those who were rude, to say that those bad answers may have had a valid reason, as much as you do, to a knee-jerk response. That maybe, like you, they were feeling, not thinking when they made accusations and got righteous.

At least, I think that's what the above quoted para means. I've read it through several times and still can't quite grasp what you actually meant.

And this:

if you're really defending seeing the good in people, then I think you should try to see the good in those of us who want to discuss this, rather than tarring everyone with the same brush.

is hysterical. It's exactly what I would like to see happen with newbies.

 

[SweetWitch]

Hmm. I'm on the verge of saying something obnoxious. Will you all PM me and give me a good talking to?

You're adorable.

Serious about the guy giving a blowjob to find out what it's like? Of course! This is, after all, Literotica, right? To me, it's the same scenario as a guy asking how it feels to mow the lawn, cause he's too lazy to do it himself. I wouldn't condone murdering someone to find out what that feels like, but sex between consenting adults is supposed to be a victimless crime, (depending on your political philosophy, I suppose.)

But since the guy claims he's already sucked dick, I suppose he's off the hook for being so persistent in his demand for information on the subject.

I believe what he said was that he had tried to do a deep throat with a banana or something. It didn't work out because it didn't give him the emotional aspect that he was looking for, from a strictly female point of view.

Asking someone to go against their own nature might be asking a bit much, don't you think?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I believe what he said was that he had tried to do a deep throat with a banana or something. It didn't work out because it didn't give him the emotional aspect that he was looking for, from a strictly female point of view.

I'm imagining banana debris down my throat... YUCK!

 

[SweetWitch]

I'm imagining banana debris down my throat... YUCK!

Talk about gag reflex...

 

[S-Des]

I lost sympathy with the guy when he said he had no interest in giving a blow job to find out what it felt like. If you're going to write about something, but you're too chicken to actually experience what you want to write about, your commitment to writing comes into question.

What a moronic thing to say. I wonder if a woman asked for a man's opinion about what the act of intercourse felt like (emotionally and physically) and heard from a bunch of men telling her to stick a vibrator up her pussy and go fuck one of her girlfriends to find out (even if she's straight).....Do you suppose that might not have gone over too well?

 

[S-Des]

Couldn't you say; "I have tried it"?

That is irrelevant. He said that he wasn't looking for opinions from gay men because he felt women were more complex and would view the act with a number of emotional factors that could affect the physical one (which is a mature, and measured approach to the situation IMHO). The physical act of sucking a dick (or sticking a cucumber down your throat) tells you nothing about how a woman feels. I'm just utterly shocked that some people still don't understand that (or at least what he was trying to communicate).

That said, I agree that the questions could have been handled better. When I had personal questions to ask, I sought out a couple of female writers and a female editor (who had some stories I thought were very well written). After establishing a relationship with them, I asked (as carefully as I could) any really personal questions about sex. I don't think Rob was horribly abused and should feel that he has to leave, but I do think the situation could have been handled better. As I said in my previous post, I firmly believe if he'd been a woman asking the question of the men, it would have been handled in an entirely different way (and no one would tolerate the flippancy of some posts).

 

[Stella_Omega]

What a moronic thing to say. I wonder if a woman asked for a man's opinion about what the act of intercourse felt like (emotionally and physically) and heard from a bunch of men telling her to stick a vibrator up her pussy and go fuck one of her girlfriends to find out (even if she's straight).....Do you suppose that might not have gone over too well?

Sounds kinda familiar, actually. I can easily imagine guys saying that-- although not here. Craigslist.org, for instance.

But this dialogue is most possible if the men were, I repeat once more, strangers to her.

And you are less likely to find a woman asking questions like that of complete strangers, because there is a high likelihood of abuse.

Rob is responsible for his presentation. No one else can do that for him.

 

[S-Des]

Sounds kinda familiar, actually. I can easily imagine guys saying that-- although not here. Craigslist.org, for instance.

Unfortunately, there are a few guys here who I could imagine saying that as well. I was actually shooting for the majority.

Rob is responsible for his presentation. No one else can do that for him.

Agreed. I'm glad you and a few others are taking the time to fill him in on the lay of the land. As someone who doesn't do well in unfamiliar social situations (and often says the dumbest thing imaginable), I can empathize with his situation, self-imposed or not.

BTW, my daughter asked who I was writing to. When I told her your name, she asked me to say hi, then started singing your name in various "interesting" combinations (my favorite is "Stella-lu-nia....come on!" ).

 

[Stella_Omega]

BTW, my daughter asked who I was writing to. When I told her your name, she asked me to say hi, then started singing your name in various "interesting" combinations (my favorite is "Stella-lu-nia....come on!" ).

Awww... tell her I'm sending her a kiss!

 

[Guest]

I know it's because of the large amount of rum I've been swilling and the fact that I've had a thoroughly rotten day, but by now on this topic?

All I'm thinking is some snarky comment about putting on big girl panties.

I'm gonna go mess with the Funny Farm thread some more.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I know it's because of the large amount of rum I've been swilling and the fact that I've had a thoroughly rotten day, but by now on this topic?

All I'm thinking is some snarky comment about putting on big girl panties.

I'm gonna go mess with the Funny Farm thread some more.

I'd rather you took your big girl panties off....

Here, I'll take them off for you.

 

[Guest]

I'd rather you took your big girl panties off....

Here, I'll take them off for you.

Well, how very kind of you!

 

[S-Des]

All I'm thinking is some snarky comment about putting on big girl panties.

I don't look nearly as good in big girl panties as I used to. Not only have I put on weight....I got really hairy.

 

[fifty5]

Shit! Talk about flame wars?

Please slow down everyone.

Absolutely everyone who has posted here is - from what I've read in other threads - a nice person, but there has been a helluva lot of shit posted here.

Sure the guy might not have had the ultimate in netiquette, but let those who haven't cast the first stone; I know I've done the same by accident. Above all, don't shit on Starrkers any more. She is a lovely woman who seems to me to care about others.

This seems to me - and the more recent posts seem to reflect that - a case of superimposed attitudes taking over from mature consideration.

I don't want anyone to feel they need to apologise, but some mature thought about attacking others unnecessarily might be good in future.

If the cap fits...

 

[Guest]

If the cap fits...

Or the big girl panties.

Hic.