Double entendres story thread

[OxfordDon]

let me just slide it in and out for a bit to make sure it fits snugly...

 

[Scrubber]

Oh do be careful, Steve. It might clamp down on you.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Umm. I think it made a wonderful fit.

 

[Adre]

Scrubber, you seem to have some experience with those sorts of openings.

 

[steve44uk]

Dear lord! Now my hand's trapped. If only there were some kind of lubricant to help my fingers move more easily...

 

[Scrubber]

Well, I used to be a locksmith. I suppose I could see if I can sort it out. I'll need a suitable tool, though.

 

[steve44uk]

I have the perfect one here. Long enough to get to the bottom of the problem, and thick enough not to bend under pressure. Wanna grab hold...?

 

[Scentofawoman]

Oh lubricant is so useful in many ways. I put some on my door the other day and it just easily slides in now.

 

[Scrubber]

Lubricant! Good thinking. I have some cans of oil in my toolbag. Could you pass me a can? Not the number 25; I much prefer 69.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Oh number 69 is a good choice. Not so smelly, and a high viscosity so a little will go a long way

 

[Scrubber]

Brilliant! It worked. What on earth is in this old thing? Looks like costumes for the Nativity Play. We'll need to borrow the props from Mrs Grimes again and someone had better remind the vicar to call on Mr Hargreaves if he wants a stuffed ass this year.

 

[travelmate2002]

You know the Vicar likes to get it up at this time of the year? The raised flagpole is an indication that he wants all his flock to know that he means business, this time around.

 

[Scrubber]

Oh, not the flagpole again. That'll get Mrs Trellis going. She's self-appinted flagpole polisher and don't we all know it. Always going on about the shine she gets on the tip.

 

[travelmate2002]

I wish he had taken more care of it though, given it a bit of his personal attention. Even Mrs. Trellis with her deft fingers and all the spit and polish she can apply will find it hard to help it regain it's former glory.

 

[Scrubber]

Oh, I don't know. A vigorous rubbing with plenty of elbow grease should do it. Nobody will notice a few stains on the tip once it's pointing skywards again.

 

[travelmate2002]

I certainly hope so as a lot depends on it; after all the show must go on. But I understand they have a rather uplifting back up plan in place, in case.... some water and those little blue thingies do wonders I gather.