Dominate a man

[dramaqueen47]

Ok, so my boyfriend and I like the whole domination/sub thing. The thing is, he usually is the dominant one. I would like to surprise him one night and be the dominator. I just don't know what you could do to a guy. I feel stupid slapping him and calling him names because he's a foot taller than me and weighs 100 pounds more than me. Any advice for me please?

 

[HawkEye38]

Lol, don't feel stupid at all, even if you are smaller than him, the more control that is given up, the better the experience IMHO. Also try some of the stories here for ideas.

Here's a good link for ideas of what to do with him
Male Genital Torture

It all depends on what he's game for really, in terms of the above link and it's contents... Start slow, read him, if you sense he's reaching his limit just hover around there ô¿ô

Look around the house for ideas, think of how different objects would feel if you were tied up and blindfolded. I.e. Ice, forks, anything you can think of.

Just let him know you're in charge, he doesn't do anything or say anthing without you telling him. If he does... well, I'll let you get creative there.

Just relax, have fun, isn't that the point of sex (ok, ok, the OTHER point) anyway?

 

[switch69]

it's all in the mind

Ok, so my boyfriend and I like the whole domination/sub thing. The thing is, he usually is the dominant one. I would like to surprise him one night and be the dominator. I just don't know what you could do to a guy. I feel stupid slapping him and calling him names because he's a foot taller than me and weighs 100 pounds more than me. Any advice for me please?

just seduce him with your mind...have drinks tell him to lay on the bed and you want to give him a backrub .... ask him if he trusts you and if he says yes, just do it ... tie his wrists and legs and if he says no, all you have to do is go back to the 'you said you trust me' and continue ... once he is tied you can do what you want ... spank his ass, break out the toys, strap ons, dildos what have you, blind fold him ... once he is tied he is yours and he will be so turned on ... gl ....

 

[dramaqueen47]

just seduce him with your mind...have drinks tell him to lay on the bed and you want to give him a backrub .... ask him if he trusts you and if he says yes, just do it ... tie his wrists and legs and if he says no, all you have to do is go back to the 'you said you trust me' and continue ... once he is tied you can do what you want ... spank his ass, break out the toys, strap ons, dildos what have you, blind fold him ... once he is tied he is yours and he will be so turned on ... gl ....

This leads to my next question, do guys like taking it up the ass? Also, anything that I should wear, any way that I can get myself relaxed?

 

[RJMasters]

just seduce him with your mind...have drinks tell him to lay on the bed and you want to give him a backrub .... ask him if he trusts you and if he says yes, just do it ... tie his wrists and legs and if he says no, all you have to do is go back to the 'you said you trust me' and continue ... once he is tied you can do what you want ... spank his ass, break out the toys, strap ons, dildos what have you, blind fold him ... once he is tied he is yours and he will be so turned on ... gl ....

WTF

Click me

dramaqueen47 only you know best how your boyfriend will react, however I would warn you that suprising your partner like this could back fire in a bad way.

Also, consent is still needed regardless of weather his hands are tied or not. I would suggest you "communicate" your desire to try the Top with your boyfriend.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would suggest passing this idea by him first, unless of course he has already expressed interest in it, as most Dominants will not welcome your surprise and can take it any number of unpleasant ways. As with most pieces of advice around here, communication is the key. Even if he does want to try switching, it is not a good thing to just jump into it without first discussing some form of limits and what his fantasies are, and more importantly, where he feels comfortable crossing the line from fantasy into reality.

Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

The SExually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners

This leads to my next question, do guys like taking it up the ass? Also, anything that I should wear, any way that I can get myself relaxed?

(Thanking the cucumber gods RJ said what I was thinking...)

First off you said y'all do the Dom/sub thing some, but you didn't specifically say if he enjoys submitting. There are people who do and people who don't. If he has no interest in you taking charge for an evening it would probably by a very bad idea to simply tie him up and have your way with him. Even if he *does* have an interest in being the "bottom" for a change that does not mean that he will automatically like having a strap on used on him. Especially if there hasn't been any respectful discussion beforehand. I know men who *might* think what you are suggesting is exciting... I know just as many men who would view the use of a strap-on whilst they are restrained (without prior consent) to be a serious relationship ender.

I am terribly sorry to be a downer, but Dominating someone is a huge responsibility (IMO). Talk about it (talk around the subject if you want it to be a surprise), but talk about yourself in the "Top" role and see how he reacts. If you're willing ot put some time into learning before putting rope to wrists or what-have-you.


ETA: Oopsie- I ment the hyper link thingie to be at the bottom of the post. My bad.

 

[AAkasha]

This leads to my next question, do guys like taking it up the ass? Also, anything that I should wear, any way that I can get myself relaxed?

Whether or not *your* man will like taking it up the ass is the bigger question. The men that do -- REALLY do like it. The men that don't -- well, you don't want to go there.

The most important tools you can bring with you on a night of dominating your boyfriend are:

** self confidence
** a playful attitude and willingness to experiment
** a mischeivious streak
** a non negotiable desire to be pleased, be turned on, be amused and be satisfied

If your boyfriend wants to know what it is like to be dominated, you have to reverse your mindset from "how should I dominate him so he enjoys it" to "how am I going to dominate him so I enjoy it?"

If he has ever shared fantasies with you, embrace them and turn them around so they can bring you pleasure or amusement. Don't feel like you have to do some long, drawn out, melodramatic "make believe dominatrix minus the bill" thing complete with a latex catsuit.

What do you wear? Whatever makes *you* feel sexy and empowered.

What do you do? If you are new to it and want to know how it resonates with you, take the opportunity to use his body like a sex toy and objectify him. I think this is one of the easiest ways to enjoy an intro to domination without a lot of drama.

If he's not claustrophobic, restrain him. Enjoy how he looks helpless. Make him breathe hard -- find out ways to tease him, and enjoy how much control you have over him. Make him beg for kisses or your touch, and really take time to decide if you *like* hearing him beg. If you don't, correct him, and make him beg in a way that makes you tingle.

Tell him how you want to be touched and pleased but keep his wrists bound together so he has to fumble at it. Give him challenges like "You have 2 minutes to make me cum," and pressure him to perform. Issue tame punishments for failure like playful spankings or bringing him to the edge of orgasm and stopping.

Turn it into a playful romp and see what your "inner femdom" tells you and what it leans toward. You may be surprised.

Akasha

 

[Netzach]

I've always fared well with the total tentative first time playing "guess what non-threatening object I am rubbing on your cock" with someone blindfolded and tied.

 

[Aeroil]

I've always fared well with the total tentative first time playing "guess what non-threatening object I am rubbing on your cock" with someone blindfolded and tied.

lol..

 

[dramaqueen47]

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. I want to talk to my bf about it, but I also want this to be a surprise. I want to really turn him on by taking control. Again, thanks for the advice I'll make sure to remember it.