Dom/sub vs Daddy Dom vs Mentor???
- Thread starter Cosime
- Start date
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Although I believe you when you say you know you're submissive, I wonder-- what do you think submissiveness entails? Without asking you to second-guess yourself, please read the essay linked in my sig. 
Dom/sub is a relationship in which one person dominates, controls one or more or all aspects of the relationship, from how they have sex (most likely) to how they wake up in the morning and go to bed at night (if anyone wanted to deal with that kind of micro managment) according to the preferences of the dom, not of the sub. Or anyway in theory. In practical ways a person who has no voice in theor own life isn't going to be much of a relationship, and most Dominants have a very strong preference for their sub's well-being-- as do most humanbeings, let's face it. But there are overlaps in the quirks of personality that make up D/s types, that can veer close enough to sociopathy as to be worrisome. That's why we try to keep connections with the community.
A Daddy Dom is a subset of dominant. This would be a person (male, generally speaking) who either sees in the submissive a person who can grow and become an adult, or else-- especially in hetero practice-- sees a woman who can remain infantile for an indefinite period of time.
A mentor might be the person who thinks the submissive can grow. But be aware that some mentors might be a man who feels that the girl wouldn't fuck him under normal conditions, so he tries to get in there under the pretext of giving her advice, and hoping to achieve a Freudian transference effect.
Again, that's why we try to maintain community. You can get a buttload of mentoring here in the forum, from people who genuinely have no ax to grind with you.
Dom/sub is a relationship in which one person dominates, controls one or more or all aspects of the relationship, from how they have sex (most likely) to how they wake up in the morning and go to bed at night (if anyone wanted to deal with that kind of micro managment) according to the preferences of the dom, not of the sub. Or anyway in theory. In practical ways a person who has no voice in theor own life isn't going to be much of a relationship, and most Dominants have a very strong preference for their sub's well-being-- as do most humanbeings, let's face it. But there are overlaps in the quirks of personality that make up D/s types, that can veer close enough to sociopathy as to be worrisome. That's why we try to keep connections with the community.
A Daddy Dom is a subset of dominant. This would be a person (male, generally speaking) who either sees in the submissive a person who can grow and become an adult, or else-- especially in hetero practice-- sees a woman who can remain infantile for an indefinite period of time.
A mentor might be the person who thinks the submissive can grow. But be aware that some mentors might be a man who feels that the girl wouldn't fuck him under normal conditions, so he tries to get in there under the pretext of giving her advice, and hoping to achieve a Freudian transference effect.
Again, that's why we try to maintain community. You can get a buttload of mentoring here in the forum, from people who genuinely have no ax to grind with you.
Stella,
Thank you for the information. I did read your well written essay.
While wading through the dozen of mostly mindless pm's today. I have asked my question to many. Each comes up with an entirely different answer. I'm not sure most understand the difference.
My reason for asking here was to get a general answer.
Thank you for the information. I did read your well written essay.
While wading through the dozen of mostly mindless pm's today. I have asked my question to many. Each comes up with an entirely different answer. I'm not sure most understand the difference.
My reason for asking here was to get a general answer.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Haha yeah, if I were new to the site right now, and if I presented as female, I probably would just disable PMS. 
Primalex
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Posts
- 6,116
There is no encyclopedia entry for these terms.
It's a bit like "What is the difference between being single and being married?" - you'll get twenty different answers and they are all somehow right and somehow wrong and all focus on different parts.
Already the question whether a Daddy Dom is to be called Daddy during sex is a moot point.
If you don't know what you are looking for in a dominant man, start by figuring out what you are looking for in a man. Don't try to figure out terms.
Verycurious18
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 30, 2013
- Posts
- 609
Not sure ill be much help but ultimately you need to find out what you like and what you are comfortable with. I have yet to explore my levels of submission in person because I'm currently setting boundaries in my head based on what I think I may or may not like. I know for a fact security is the most important thing which is why I need a daddy, I also know my limits can be tested as time grows. Mentally I don't think I could handle being completely submissive due to events in my history and every person I talk to I make sure to be up front and honest about what I need. Just talking to different people can help that's the road I'm currently taking it can really help you sort of figure put a good starting point. Again I apologize if I'm not much help and good luck!
MasterMix
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2013
- Posts
- 138
I would personally distinguish them by the degree of freedom. But does it matter what do you call it? I know many put this Bdsm as an academic research with professional fancy terms so that each term has its strict defination. But I view it as a sort of life which practice is more important than all others.
