Dom/Sub relationships: Not just about fear

[Beck31]

I have heard some people who claim to be in the Lifestyle talk about the fear that is instilled. I have an issue with that attitude. I am a collared sub and I do not nessisarily fear my Mistress/Owner. Yes, sometimes I do if it is warrented but generally speaking I believe that a good relationship is also based on mutual respect, trust, and love. Without those other aspects the relationship would be based on fear alone and thus I feel it should be voided. I do realize that everyone's relationships are going to be different and may do things a different way. Just like I don't feel a good dom/sub relationship should be based on pain alone either.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Listen pup, you gotta stop barking the same thing over and over.

We are all really glad for you and your mistress. Really, really.

 

[Beck31]

Listen pup, you gotta stop barking the same thing over and over.

We are all really glad for you and your mistress. Really, really.

Sorry. I got carried away. I'll try to behave and not repeat so much stuff.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sorry. I got carried away. I'll try to behave and not repeat so much stuff.

You should register at fetlife.com and join the "pet palace" group there.
Among other things, you can write blog posts and odes to your Mistress, to your hearts content.

 

[Beck31]

You should register at fetlife.com and join the "pet palace" group there.
Among other things, you can write blog posts and odes to your Mistress, to your hearts content.

Thank you. That is a good idea.

 

[Etoile]

I have heard some people who claim to be in the Lifestyle talk about the fear that is instilled. I have an issue with that attitude. I am a collared sub and I do not nessisarily fear my Mistress/Owner. Yes, sometimes I do if it is warrented but generally speaking I believe that a good relationship is also based on mutual respect, trust, and love. Without those other aspects the relationship would be based on fear alone and thus I feel it should be voided. I do realize that everyone's relationships are going to be different and may do things a different way. Just like I don't feel a good dom/sub relationship should be based on pain alone either.

The two blue parts contradict each other; you're belittling people by calling them poseurs in the red part. So if all different types of relationships are okay, why is fear only part of the relationship for poseurs?

I don't think this is coming out right; hopefully you understand where I'm seeing a contradiction. You're accepting and belittling at the same time?

 

[Beck31]

fear

I didn't think I was belitting anyone. I may have been drunk when I typed that.

 

[KoPilot]

The two blue parts contradict each other; you're belittling people by calling them poseurs in the red part. So if all different types of relationships are okay, why is fear only part of the relationship for poseurs?

I don't think this is coming out right; hopefully you understand where I'm seeing a contradiction. You're accepting and belittling at the same time?

"I accept X, but I also don't think anyone should be doing X."

Sorry bub, but I am neither lifestyle nor fear-free. I get off on malicious. Introducing that sort of dynamic into my relationship is going to take a shit ton of caution, care, and time, though.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The two blue parts contradict each other; you're belittling people by calling them poseurs in the red part. So if all different types of relationships are okay, why is fear only part of the relationship for poseurs?

I don't think this is coming out right; hopefully you understand where I'm seeing a contradiction. You're accepting and belittling at the same time?

Have to agree with you Etoile, but then I am not drunk so maybe that changes things.

Catalina

 

[Redkate]

Although my relationship isn't fully 24/7 I know I enjoy feeling a bit of fear.

Fear of a session or a partner, thinking "oh my god what is he going to do to me now?" is almost essential to my arousal. I'm so afraid of being out of control sometimes, but without the fear I feel like I'm in control of the situation.

Now obviously if I lived in full time fear of my partner it would probably be too much, but a bit of fear here and there is good for me.

 

[Netzach]

Once you have established trust and mutual respect and blah and blah, you know what happens after about 5 years without some fear?

boooooring.

You don't have to be afraid of each other if that's not your thing, and it's not mine. There are millions of things you can be afraid of together and explore together.