Does Authenticity Matter Here?

[SpicyBean99]

I would like to step back from the heat of recent discussions and ask something broader.

Is authenticity important here?

Lit is structured around threads, dialogue and ongoing interaction, with images being only one part of the site. By contrast, there are endless places online to scroll through porn without speaking to a single person, with no community element and no conversation required. So if someone is only interested in visuals and not the person behind them, what makes this space different?

For me, the appeal has always been that there are real people here. The images are part of it, of course. But so are the personalities, the humour, the back and forth, and the sense that there is a human being on the other side of the screen.

That is why authenticity matters to me.

Authenticity does not mean forcing verification. Anonymity and privacy absolutely matter. But there is a difference between protecting privacy and fabricating an identity. Protecting privacy means choosing what you reveal about a real self. Fabricating identity means presenting something as real that is not.

That distinction matters because it shapes whether we are interacting with real people or performances.

So the real question becomes this:

If a space built around interaction becomes flooded with imported images, AI content, or personas that are not grounded in a real person, does that change what kind of place this is? Does it slowly become just another scrolling platform rather than an open community?

If authenticity becomes optional, then the vulnerability of sharing something real becomes interchangeable with something synthetic. Over time, that shifts trust, expectations and the character of the space itself.

I often hear that many users skip sections of text and look straight for posts with pictures. That is their choice. But it does make me reflect. If the human element is irrelevant, what separates Lit from any other site that serves purely visual content?

In a world so heavily saturated with edited realities and disinformation, does it matter if some spaces remain rooted in actual human interaction?

I genuinely think it does.

I also understand that some people come here primarily to escape reality. To enjoy fantasy and to totally disconnect from everyday life and step into something playful or erotic without needing it to be grounded in anything 'real'. There is nothing inherently wrong with that...But for others, part of the appeal is that there is a real person behind the username. The fantasy might be heightened or stylised, but it is still anchored to someone who actually exists. Those are two entirely different ways of engaging.

I am not trying to take fantasy or escapism away from anyone. I know this is an erotic space. Fantasy, exaggeration and playful personas are part of what makes it fun. No one is expecting ID checks or fingerprint recognition.

However, there is still a difference between consensual fantasy and misrepresentation. If we all understand something is stylised (ie, the person behind an account has openly chosen to stay anon) or roleplay, that is one thing, if something is presented as real and it is not, that is something else entirely.

So for me, when authenticity is dismissed altogether, it can unintentionally make those who are here as themselves feel interchangeable with something manufactured.

That is the part that matters to me.

I am really interested in hearing different perspectives. This is not about naming and shaming or targeting anyone. It is about discussing what we want this space to be, and whether authenticity plays a role in that.

 

[SpicyBean99]

I also want to challenge my own question a little, because I think there is a valid counterpoint....

Lit has always involved persona, fantasy and selective self-presentation and like...even those of us who are “real” are still curating what we show. We choose which photos to post, which stories to tell, which parts of ourselves to emphasise. In that sense, there is always some level of performance here. For some users, that performative element is part of the appeal, I KNOW that they are not necessarily looking for verifiable authenticity and are instead looking for immersion, interaction, banter, roleplay. For them, the fact that someone may not be fully anchored to an offline identity does not automatically diminish the experience. (I don't express that I understand this often enough).

It is also fair to say that interactivity, not strict realism, may be what separates Lit from static porn sites....The ability to comment, flirt, respond and build a dynamic exchange can exist even within stylised or ambiguous personas... obviously.

So perhaps the issue is not as binary as “real versus fake.” As with everuthing there is so much nuance... There may be a spectrum between privacy, fantasy and deliberate misrepresentation.

So, maybe the more useful question is not simply “Does authenticity matter?” but “How much authenticity is necessary for this space to function in a way most of us are comfortable with?”

I’m genuinely interested in where others draw that line....Open for as much discussion as it warrants. I would love to hear thoughts.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

For me, I started posting here to explore parts of my needs/desires/personality that scared me. I always say I’m one of those people who needs a really good idea of how something is going to play out before I commit to it, which made opening our marriage to explore my bisexuality VERY challenging. Especially since years of jist seeing myself as “mom” had hurt my sense of my body and attractiveness.

Coming here and being able to talk with real people about it helped IMMENSELY. being able to post photos and get positive feedback about my looks helped IMMENSELY.

i know Im not sharing my whole self on here, and who I am on here is much more aggressive than I present in real life. But it’s all parts of me.

So yeah, if bugs me when people I have been sharing honest parts of myself with turn out to not just be curated facets of themselves but total fabrications. Every time it happens it turns me off this place a little more. I wish people didnt do it.

For the record, people questioning their sexuality or gender identity IRL using here to explore is fine with me. I get that. Don’t steal other women’s photos for yourself because that’s cruel and criminal. But if John is seriously exploring becoming Joan, I will chat with Joan all the live long day and help her get where she needs to be. If John is pretending to be Joan to get fap bait? Fuck that.

 

[subdudeme13]

Authenticity matters, if it matters to you. For me it matters when interations start to turn into a relationship. I don't expect much but there are people here I would be disappointed to find out were totally fake. My expectations are low so I tend not to be disappointed.

 

[metrifonate]

We are all an invention, a work persona, home persona, relaxing with friends persona etc. Social media such as Facebook and Instagram gives people the opportunity to invent a charachter. We all know people who's profile on Facebook bears little resemblance with reality. However, they believe their own fantasy to some point and there is a real complex charachter under all of that.
On a sex site such as Lit we get another level of complexity. We can creat a sexual persona. I think where deception becomes so distorted from the truth (men playing a female persona) and it is not made transparent than that is wrong on all levels.
This leads us into catfishing and getting ASD, stealing pictures etc. Which is obviuosly getting into morally wrong / illegal use of fantasy.
Now, I'm not sure if men want to be decieved like this? Maybe some do. When a catfish is exposed we get the white knights defending them beyond what is reasonable so I question if some enjoy the fantasy more than reality and real people?

 

[Oralexplorer]

There may be a spectrum between privacy, fantasy and deliberate misrepresentation.

you are on to something here, reality is spectrum. Things are rarely binary, we human are shaped by our lived experience ( traumatic or not)

I’m genuinely interested in where others draw that line

personally authenticity matters to me and I draw the line at deliberate act of deception with the intention to harm or be hurtful or denigrate another person for being who they are.
It's a very thoughtful and deep question !

 

[SpicyBean99]

For me, I started posting here to explore parts of my needs/desires/personality that scared me. I always say I’m one of those people who needs a really good idea of how something is going to play out before I commit to it, which made opening our marriage to explore my bisexuality VERY challenging. Especially since years of jist seeing myself as “mom” had hurt my sense of my body and attractiveness.

Coming here and being able to talk with real people about it helped IMMENSELY. being able to post photos and get positive feedback about my looks helped IMMENSELY.

i know Im not sharing my whole self on here, and who I am on here is much more aggressive than I present in real life. But it’s all parts of me.

So yeah, if bugs me when people I have been sharing honest parts of myself with turn out to not just be curated facets of themselves but total fabrications. Every time it happens it turns me off this place a little more. I wish people didnt do it.

For the record, people questioning their sexuality or gender identity IRL using here to explore is fine with me. I get that. Don’t steal other women’s photos for yourself because that’s cruel and criminal. But if John is seriously exploring becoming Joan, I will chat with Joan all the live long day and help her get where she needs to be. If John is pretending to be Joan to get fap bait? Fuck that.

I couldn't have worded it better myself.

Thankyou Jenny! <3

I am SO glad that you were able to come here and find some solace in talking to real people, build on your self confidence and explore parts you wouldn't have otherwise been able to do! It takes more courage to open up about your sexuality, your body, your identity, especially after years of feeling defined by other roles than others realise. The fact that being here helped you reconnect with your sense of self and confidence is freaking powerful. Another reason I genuinely love lit (at times.)

There’s such a huge difference between someone exploring who they are and someone fabricating who they are for manipulation or attention...like @metrifonate mentioned, even some of the curated facets of a real person are still real.

But theft and deliberate fabrication erode trust... And when you’ve been sharing honest parts of yourself, finding out someone was never real in that way can really hurt and makes you second-guess the safety of the space...and also, the authenticity!

The distinction you make about John exploring becoming Joan versus John pretending to be Joan for fap bait is exactly the line I’ve been trying to articulate. "Exploration deserves respect. Deception deserves some sort of fucking pushback."

I’m really glad you said this. Thankyou.

 

[alexgriffin74]

Authenticity matters quite a bit to me, depending on the situation.
Am I sharing my feelings, desires, or other personal facets of myself with someone in hopes of connecting on some level to talk with an honest dialog? Then damn right I hope you are who you say you are or are at least close.

If I'm chatting with an author about their story, discussing ideas of a less personal nature, jumping into the cesspool of the Politics sub? I honestly don't give a damn if you are who you are presenting yourself as. The important part is the exchange of ideas, the back and forth of the discussion of the topic at hand.

As for pics, I'll be honest, I want to see real people with non-stolen pics. And less AI slop. Or at least contain the slop to dedicated threads.

 

[ChiffonCupCake]

My most important erogenous zone is the 6 inch organ that exists between my ears. I find the written word stimulates my senses and when used creativly and authenticly allows my imagination to soar. Like good music, I enjoy the space between the lyrics. I enjoy the opportunity to fill min some of. the gaps for myself, allowing me to engage in my own way much like dancing.

Authenticity may be a key foundation piece of erotic writings that captures my attention. It makes a significant difference as writers portray feelings and emotions from a base of experience rather than pure fantasy.

 

[subdudeme13]

My most important erogenous zone is the 6 inch organ that exists between my ears. I find the written word stimulates my senses and when used creativly and authenticly allows my imagination to soar. Like good music, I enjoy the space between the lyrics. I enjoy the opportunity to fill min some of. the gaps for myself, allowing me to engage in my own way much like dancing.

Authenticity may be a key foundation piece of erotic writings that captures my attention. It makes a significant difference as writers portray feelings and emotions from a base of experience rather than pure fantasy.

I find myself to be more authentic on Lit than in "real life".

 

[SirSparky]

Authenticity really matters to me too. I came here to escape the reality I am currently living, to explore my needs and what goes around in my head with like minded REAL people. Things I share, I want to share with real people who understand and discuss. I hate getting to know someone and it turns out to be fake. Possibly even a man getting his kicks out of me opening up my inner self. I hate interacting with women that steal other people's images or create AI and pass them off as genuine pictures of themselves. Its one thing if they have used AI to hide certain features so they are not easily identified, but admit that than to pass off AI images as their true self.

I enjoy the banter of real people. I want to form online friendships with real people and not fake or catfish profiles.

 

[SpicyBean99]

We are all an invention, a work persona, home persona, relaxing with friends persona etc. Social media such as Facebook and Instagram gives people the opportunity to invent a charachter. We all know people who's profile on Facebook bears little resemblance with reality. However, they believe their own fantasy to some point and there is a real complex charachter under all of that.
On a sex site such as Lit we get another level of complexity. We can creat a sexual persona. I think where deception becomes so distorted from the truth (men playing a female persona) and it is not made transparent than that is wrong on all levels.
This leads us into catfishing and getting ASD, stealing pictures etc. Which is obviuosly getting into morally wrong / illegal use of fantasy.
Now, I'm not sure if men want to be decieved like this? Maybe some do. When a catfish is exposed we get the white knights defending them beyond what is reasonable so I question if some enjoy the fantasy more than reality and real people?

Absolutely.

The white knight thing...When accounts turn out not to be real, it can be REAL awkward or uncomfortable for those who defended or invested in them, we have seen that first hand, especially at the beginning of the year with THAT account (chocolate bar). None of us like realising we’ve been fooled, its not just men that go through that here. When I see women on Lit, my first instict is to jump in with nothing but love and support. I had the wool pulled over my eyes by same said person I managed to get banned.

But that’s also why collective awareness matters its not really to shame anyone, but to reduce the likelihood of it happening again? Does that make sense?

I think another part of this that hasn’t really been discussed is responsibility. And mods and the owners of Lit. Yes, moderators have a role but community spaces such as this are not maintained by moderators alone because They’re shaped by the people and community within them. If something feels off, or if patterns start to repeat, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for users to speak up respectfully and help one another avoid being misled. Each and everytime I voice opinions there's someone quick to jump in and ask why I care....

Stealing images is not just “fantasy” or harmless play, BY THE WAY. And just thinking with downstairs is not a good enough excuse to not have thought for a second longer.

Finding an image online is not a crime HOWEVER, using someone else’s images to present yourself as that person and mislead others very quickly moves into morally wrong territory and, in many cases, illegal territory. What’s unsettling is that moderators can’t realistically verify every image, and the original owners often don’t even know their photos are being used. That part is fucking terrifying. Especially as someone who has experienced their own images being shared by exs and such...

 

[subdudeme13]

Authenticity really matters to me too. I came here to escape the reality I am currently living, to explore my needs and what goes around in my head with like minded REAL people. Things I share, I want to share with real people who understand and discuss. I hate getting to know someone and it turns out to be fake. Possibly even a man getting his kicks out of me opening up my inner self. I hate interacting with women that steal other people's images or create AI and pass them off as genuine pictures of themselves. Its one thing if they have used AI to hide certain features so they are not easily identified, but admit that than to pass off AI images as their true self.

I enjoy the banter of real people. I want to form online friendships with real people and not fake or catfish profiles.

What is catfish?

 

[SirSparky]

What is catfish?

When someone posts a personal ad and after very small interaction want to move to another chat app, need help with money and want you to send them a gift card of one description or another to help them out. Always sending stolen pictures to try and entice you in. One thing that always happens from dating sites is that they tell you, that you are the love of their life and want to spend the rest of their life with you, after only half a dozen messages lol

 

[SpicyBean99]

What is catfish?

A catfish is someone who pretends to be another person online by use of fake photos, a false name, or a made-up backstory, to gain attention, monetary benefit, trust, and or emotional attachment, or sexual interaction. Usually.

 

[metrifonate]

Absolutely.

The white knight thing...When accounts turn out not to be real, it can be REAL awkward or uncomfortable for those who defended or invested in them, we have seen that first hand, especially at the beginning of the year with THAT account (chocolate bar). None of us like realising we’ve been fooled, its not just men that go through that here. When I see women on Lit, my first instict is to jump in with nothing but love and support. I had the wool pulled over my eyes by same said person I managed to get banned.

But that’s also why collective awareness matters its not really to shame anyone, but to reduce the likelihood of it happening again? Does that make sense?

I think another part of this that hasn’t really been discussed is responsibility. And mods and the owners of Lit. Yes, moderators have a role but community spaces such as this are not maintained by moderators alone because They’re shaped by the people and community within them. If something feels off, or if patterns start to repeat, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for users to speak up respectfully and help one another avoid being misled. Each and everytime I voice opinions there's someone quick to jump in and ask why I care....

Stealing images is not just “fantasy” or harmless play, BY THE WAY. And just thinking with downstairs is not a good enough excuse to not have thought for a second longer.

Finding an image online is not a crime HOWEVER, using someone else’s images to present yourself as that person and mislead others very quickly moves into morally wrong territory and, in many cases, illegal territory. What’s unsettling is that moderators can’t realistically verify every image, and the original owners often don’t even know their photos are being used. That part is fucking terrifying. Especially as someone who has experienced their own images being shared by exs and such...

Stealing images is of course wrong/illegal. Using those images to pretend to be thst person even worse.
I have done a bit of professional photography and had images stolen. I know how helpless you can feel and how difficult it is to get anything done. This is obviuosly magnified if they are intimate photos of yourself.

 

[subdudeme13]

When someone posts a personal ad and after very small interaction want to move to another chat app, need help with money and want you to send them a gift card of one description or another to help them out. Always sending stolen pictures to try and entice you in. One thing that always happens from dating sites is that they tell you, that you are the love of their life and want to spend the rest of their life with you, after only half a dozen messages lol

Ok. I have experience that but never sent any money and block right away. I do understand that is a huge scam going on and a lot of people get caught.

 

[SirSparky]

A catfish is someone who pretends to be another person online by use of fake photos, a false name, or a made-up backstory, to gain attention, monetary benefit, trust, and or emotional attachment, or sexual interaction. Usually.

Better worded than my explanation lol. I'm never any good with words and explaining what I mean.

 

[SpicyBean99]

On Literotica, catfishing isn’t always about money in the traditional scam sense. Yes, sometimes it involves what people lovingly on Lit jokingly call ASD “Amazonian Slut Dollars”… meaning requests for Amazon vouchers. The “chocolate bar” account did that veryyyy openly.

But if we’re honest, the vouchers/money often aren’t the main driver. A lot of it appears to be about farming engagement like… collecting likes, comments, attention, DMs, admiration. And in some ways that’s even stranger than a straightforward financial scam. At least with money there’s an obvious motive.

It makes it even harder to spot if validation, or control over other people’s emotional or sexual investment, is the primary pay off for them… it becomes something else entirely. Less about material gain and more about psychological reward for them I think.

Someone on another thread suggested it could even function as a kink… which was a very interesting thought. the deception itself, the power dynamic, the ability to manipulate desire without being who you claim to be, having white knights support you in your lies… not knowing any differently…. And honestly, for me, that’s more unsettling than many openly discussed kinks like CNC.

At least consensual kink is transparent and negotiated haha… catfishing and lying about ones self relies on removing informed consent altogether. = disgusting in my opinion.

 

[SpicyBean99]

Better worded than my explanation lol. I'm never any good with words and explaining what I mean.

I think you worded it perfectly. We just said the same thing at the same time! Don’t you stress mr!

 

[ScarletDaisy]

I'll dive in. I'm still on my first coffee, so please give me grace on my words.

I came here specifically to share pictures of myself. I wanted to do this for me to try, after a whole life of not liking my body, to accept that body. To learn to appreciate my own body. This was supposed to be a safe place to do that.

As an older woman, this isn't easy. As an insecure woman, this isn't easy. As a human with feelings, this isn't easy. Vulnerability isn't easy.

A safe place, where other real people share pictures of themselves, is ideal. But posting my stomach on the same page with manufactured images is so much harder.

Could I swap out my tummy for a better one? Sure. There's an app for that. (Several thousand apps for that, I'm sure) I could run my pics thru an AI editor and make them "perfect"

But what is that going to do for me? I want to accept who I see in the mirror, not look in the mirror and think about what I need to adjust.

Ultimately, I feel badly for the people who can't share their own pictures and have to steal them from others or filter themselves beyond recognition. But that's because I'm filtering their motives through my own lens.

I prefer authenticity.

 

[SirSparky]

I think you worded it perfectly. We just said the same thing at the same time! Don’t you stress mr!

Not stressing lol. I just sometimes struggle to get whats in my mind out on paper. I know what I want to say but struggle to form the words to express exactly what I mean and feel. So its good when someone else posts something and its exactly what I was thinking

 

[subdudeme13]

I'll dive in. I'm still on my first coffee, so please give me grace on my words.

I came here specifically to share pictures of myself. I wanted to do this for me to try, after a whole life of not liking my body, to accept that body. To learn to appreciate my own body. This was supposed to be a safe place to do that.

As an older woman, this isn't easy. As an insecure woman, this isn't easy. As a human with feelings, this isn't easy. Vulnerability isn't easy.

A safe place, where other real people share pictures of themselves, is ideal. But posting my stomach on the same page with manufactured images is so much harder.

Could I swap out my tummy for a better one? Sure. There's an app for that. (Several thousand apps for that, I'm sure) I could run my pics thru an AI editor and make them "perfect"

But what is that going to do for me? I want to accept who I see in the mirror, not look in the mirror and think about what I need to adjust.

Ultimately, I feel badly for the people who can't share their own pictures and have to steal them from others or filter themselves beyond recognition. But that's because I'm filtering their motives through my own lens.

I prefer authenticity.

I am going for my third cup. Now all I have to do is seperate your avatar from Spicy's story "Foot Boy". She hasn't finished it and I am waiting with baited breath.

 

[SirSparky]

I'll dive in. I'm still on my first coffee, so please give me grace on my words.

I came here specifically to share pictures of myself. I wanted to do this for me to try, after a whole life of not liking my body, to accept that body. To learn to appreciate my own body. This was supposed to be a safe place to do that.

As an older woman, this isn't easy. As an insecure woman, this isn't easy. As a human with feelings, this isn't easy. Vulnerability isn't easy.

A safe place, where other real people share pictures of themselves, is ideal. But posting my stomach on the same page with manufactured images is so much harder.

Could I swap out my tummy for a better one? Sure. There's an app for that. (Several thousand apps for that, I'm sure) I could run my pics thru an AI editor and make them "perfect"

But what is that going to do for me? I want to accept who I see in the mirror, not look in the mirror and think about what I need to adjust.

Ultimately, I feel badly for the people who can't share their own pictures and have to steal them from others or filter themselves beyond recognition. But that's because I'm filtering their motives through my own lens.

I prefer authenticity.

I don't want to see 'perfect'. I want to see normal everyday people. I want to see those tummys. To appreciate those people putting themselves out there, whether they are proud of their bodies or like you looking for appreciation and validation in how they look. To know those people are genuine and feel vulnerable putting themselves out there makes me feel for them and to open up myself to them.

By the way @ScarletDaisy you are 'perfect' in my eyes

 

[SpicyBean99]

I'll dive in. I'm still on my first coffee, so please give me grace on my words.

I came here specifically to share pictures of myself. I wanted to do this for me to try, after a whole life of not liking my body, to accept that body. To learn to appreciate my own body. This was supposed to be a safe place to do that.

As an older woman, this isn't easy. As an insecure woman, this isn't easy. As a human with feelings, this isn't easy. Vulnerability isn't easy.

A safe place, where other real people share pictures of themselves, is ideal. But posting my stomach on the same page with manufactured images is so much harder.

Could I swap out my tummy for a better one? Sure. There's an app for that. (Several thousand apps for that, I'm sure) I could run my pics thru an AI editor and make them "perfect"

But what is that going to do for me? I want to accept who I see in the mirror, not look in the mirror and think about what I need to adjust.

Ultimately, I feel badly for the people who can't share their own pictures and have to steal them from others or filter themselves beyond recognition. But that's because I'm filtering their motives through my own lens.

I prefer authenticity.

Gosh I adore you Miss Daisy.

We’ve spoken about this before but you are Goodamn beautiful. And it’s because of your feelings listed here they are part of my driving force that doesn’t like those weird lil fake accounts.

You’re SO fucking strong and brave to come to lit to post, incredibly so. You deserve nothing BUT authenticity from a place like this. The fact that you could edit, filter, reshape etc and choose not to, choosing to post your real body, particularly after a lifetime of not feeling comfortable in it, is an act of self-acceptance in progress! And I command you for that lady!

This next part is for anyone reading this (who has also read the women’s real accounts in this thread and still do not gauge the importance.)

The REAL women here who post pictures and share themselves are not competing with perfection. THAT is why the presence of clearly manufactured, overly polished, suspiciously immaculate accounts can feel so destabilising.

It’s also why I immediately question them, even without prior knowledge. When an image looks something like:

https://postimg.cc/dLM8ML4d

Rather than:

https://postimg.cc/RN3bd6qV

I wouldn’t need to do a deep dive to figure out which account is real.

It’s honestly BAFFLING how some wouldn’t know the difference. To me it’s clear as day

The issue is not beauty and it is not youth, it is not perfection.

The issue is fabrication… When an artificial standard is placed alongside someone doing real emotional work, it distorts the space and it’s the people here choosing to ignore that, despite seeing real women post here, that are the problem.