Divorced/Separated Support Thread.
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the captians wench
sewing wench
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Yesterday.. he came by to get his drums... and noticed he wasnt wearing his wedding ring... and gave me a cd He knew I was leaving to go out to lunch told me to listen to the first track.. WHY did he do this.. he knew it would make me cry... DAMNIT TO hell... i just hate being alone .. this alone thing SUCKS!
*huggles*
You can always come shack up with me for a week or so.
*giggles*
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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aww wenchie.. I might have to take you up on that
the captians wench
sewing wench
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aww wenchie.. I might have to take you up on that
JUst lemme know sweets.
And don't mind the mess.
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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Wenchie
absolutely.... i wanna share something with you guys the CD that he gave me the song. it is was the song called The show must go on.. By Queen
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ADh8Fs3YdU&feature=related
Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On - with the show -
I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...
Now you know why i was crying.... SIGH...
absolutely.... i wanna share something with you guys the CD that he gave me the song. it is was the song called The show must go on.. By Queen
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ADh8Fs3YdU&feature=related
Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On - with the show -
I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...
Now you know why i was crying.... SIGH...
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
It's just another way to maniplate you dear. Don't give him the satisfaction of crying over his stupid tricks. My ex used to leave notes in my car for me to find in the morning that talked about how sorry he was and how great I am and blah blah blah. Was all just part of the game, so to speak.
BiaTcHiNFiRe
lost in my thoughts
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
- Posts
- 6,790
Ex's SUCK!!
I am divorced for more than 7 years now and as most of you know, i went thro lots of splits and comebacks with my ex. Too many actualy. The only thing i can say is that it suck SUCK SUCK!! Always did and always will.
I took him back more times than i should have. Now i feel marked by all the years i spent by his side. By side of someome whos iresponsible and dunno keep one damn promise he gives.
I remeber times when i was a happy girl, times when i was going out to see my friends and have some fun and all. I rarely see anyone right now. Only my family and even with them i am sometimes uncomfy, because i rather prefer lonely quite places and not much of talk. I am missing words and i am not much of fun anymore. I've become quite boring and very quiet company.
If i had my kids when i was 18, i would be oh so much better mom, than what i am right now. I dwell deep within myself and just rarely get out, which aint much of fun for my kids. I can freely say that my older daughter prefers spend her time with my mum, because shes so much more fun than me. I know she is, wish i was the same. Sometimes i am, but thats just "bright moments" when i feel really happy and wanna do things. Doesnt happen kinda often. And yes it suck. I am trying to be the best for my girl's, but deep inside i know i could do so much better if i was the same girl as i was years ago.
My my ex taught me plenty and i wish it does not efect other relationships i enter, but it does. Wish i doubted just him and his words, but sadly, i tend to doubt everyone and everything and thats so fucked up. And it hurting people. I hate to do that, but i still do. Sometimes i feel like i am not capable to have a normal relationship anymore, yet i want one. sigh
I am okay when i am getting the needed love and attention, but once i am not, i am down REALLY FUCKING FAST. I felt unloved for years now, so now i crave lots of love, too much maybe. I need to be asured i am loved and that everything is alright, very often. And franky, i dont see why someone would do that lol.
The worst thing my ex did to me, is the way i feel about my person and how i see myself now. This attitude "could you please love me..... anyone...", is totaly fucked up and makes me very sad. I dont think i am THAT bad, but i still have this fucked up attitude when i talk with men. And thats so wrong. Not much i can do about it tho. Its the way i feel, inside. Because of my ex. Because of the years of wondering why he treated me the way he did. Years of thinking WHY i wasnt enough for him and why he care so less about my feelings.
What suck is that its all my own fault. I should have end the relationship the day he divorced with me, 7 years ago. Or even better, the first time he cheated me, which was even before our damn wedding. Oh well, its gone, but i feel like i've wasted 16 years of my life, with loving a man who would NEVER really love me back.
The saying "treat otheres the way you want to be treated" doesnt work!! I tryed for years. I was good, caring, loving, patient and tolerant too, he took it all for granted, never give me the same back. I wont do that again. I changed a lot in this, not sure if its good or bad, but its surely safer way to love. I used to wait to get something back, now i want it, NOW. The way i am with men right now is simple. Or i love you and you love me, i care for you and you care for me, i talk to you and you talk to me, i share myself with you and you share yourself with me or BYE. I am not bothering with anything less than i am giving anymore. I am sick of giving and getting a shit or very less back and i wont do that again. And i used to do that yes. Used to be too tolerant with what i am getting back. Not anymore. I will treat people the very same way they treat me. Wish i decided to do this years ago. Could save myself from lots of pain.
Life goes on and i will get over all the shits i went thro, i know i will. But for now i am the way i am. Insecure moody person, who feel a must beg to be loved and cared for.
My ex leaving my flat with end of this month, cannot wait the day. I still have some kind of feelings for him, but the things he did to me in last few days make it very easy for me to want him outta my life finaly. Hes being bastard, fucked me up with me once again, but its surely for the fucking last time he did it.
I used to care for him, helped him when he was in need, took him back everytime his gf's get sick of him and his cheating, BUT, the next time i am gonna just watch. I know i would still cry if i didnt help him, but i wont. I wont let him abuse me anymore. I am done with him once for good. I am in serious shits right now because of him, the bitch didnt give me the cash he should, so i wasnt able to pay for the rent for this month + he's selling our fridge and he knows very well i cannot affort to buy a new one. Its his fridge yes, but our kids are his as well and i wont have a place to put their food now. I dont get this, i really dont.... I dont understand how he can do this to HIS OWN kids. I was so wrong with him, God i was SO WRONG........ He's selfish bastard, thats the last memory of him i'll have.
He fucked up with me this month and will fuck up with my life the next month as well, because he already told me hes not planing to give me the child support untill the court will make him. Actualy he told me to make him pay, because its better for him if the court takes the cash from his salary because he can keep the whole rest for himself. I am already working on it, but this things with courts takes time and i already know i wont be able to make him pay next month yet, so i will get shit from him again. Its pissing me off to no end and i feel quite helpless because i know i cannot do anything about that. He will pay me all back once i will have the papers from the court in my hand, but untill then i am fucked. I need the cash to pay for the rent, so it suck bigtime and makes me stressed a lot, because i am afraid the owner could kick me outta my flat.
I gotta work it out somehow and i will, except my lovely ex i have also people who do love me for real, like my mum for example, shes helping me to get thro this hard times right now. I am getting a tough life lesson right now, but i will work it out and get outta this situation as a winer and as a free independant woman.
If i could faster the time, i would!! I want 1th May, now. I want my ex gone, NOW!!
I am very stressed and depressed sometimes, but i know i will be okay, just have to get used to live on my own. And i must make the bitch pay for the kids. And i will. I will see to it that he care for our kids. Even if i should force him to do so and use the courts to make him. I will.
And i recommend my ex to NEVER EVER ask me for help again, beacuse i wont. I will just watch and enjoy.
I am divorced for more than 7 years now and as most of you know, i went thro lots of splits and comebacks with my ex. Too many actualy. The only thing i can say is that it suck SUCK SUCK!! Always did and always will.
I took him back more times than i should have. Now i feel marked by all the years i spent by his side. By side of someome whos iresponsible and dunno keep one damn promise he gives.
I remeber times when i was a happy girl, times when i was going out to see my friends and have some fun and all. I rarely see anyone right now. Only my family and even with them i am sometimes uncomfy, because i rather prefer lonely quite places and not much of talk. I am missing words and i am not much of fun anymore. I've become quite boring and very quiet company.
If i had my kids when i was 18, i would be oh so much better mom, than what i am right now. I dwell deep within myself and just rarely get out, which aint much of fun for my kids. I can freely say that my older daughter prefers spend her time with my mum, because shes so much more fun than me. I know she is, wish i was the same. Sometimes i am, but thats just "bright moments" when i feel really happy and wanna do things. Doesnt happen kinda often. And yes it suck. I am trying to be the best for my girl's, but deep inside i know i could do so much better if i was the same girl as i was years ago.
My my ex taught me plenty and i wish it does not efect other relationships i enter, but it does. Wish i doubted just him and his words, but sadly, i tend to doubt everyone and everything and thats so fucked up. And it hurting people. I hate to do that, but i still do. Sometimes i feel like i am not capable to have a normal relationship anymore, yet i want one. sigh
I am okay when i am getting the needed love and attention, but once i am not, i am down REALLY FUCKING FAST. I felt unloved for years now, so now i crave lots of love, too much maybe. I need to be asured i am loved and that everything is alright, very often. And franky, i dont see why someone would do that lol.
The worst thing my ex did to me, is the way i feel about my person and how i see myself now. This attitude "could you please love me..... anyone...", is totaly fucked up and makes me very sad. I dont think i am THAT bad, but i still have this fucked up attitude when i talk with men. And thats so wrong. Not much i can do about it tho. Its the way i feel, inside. Because of my ex. Because of the years of wondering why he treated me the way he did. Years of thinking WHY i wasnt enough for him and why he care so less about my feelings.
What suck is that its all my own fault. I should have end the relationship the day he divorced with me, 7 years ago. Or even better, the first time he cheated me, which was even before our damn wedding. Oh well, its gone, but i feel like i've wasted 16 years of my life, with loving a man who would NEVER really love me back.
The saying "treat otheres the way you want to be treated" doesnt work!! I tryed for years. I was good, caring, loving, patient and tolerant too, he took it all for granted, never give me the same back. I wont do that again. I changed a lot in this, not sure if its good or bad, but its surely safer way to love. I used to wait to get something back, now i want it, NOW. The way i am with men right now is simple. Or i love you and you love me, i care for you and you care for me, i talk to you and you talk to me, i share myself with you and you share yourself with me or BYE. I am not bothering with anything less than i am giving anymore. I am sick of giving and getting a shit or very less back and i wont do that again. And i used to do that yes. Used to be too tolerant with what i am getting back. Not anymore. I will treat people the very same way they treat me. Wish i decided to do this years ago. Could save myself from lots of pain.
Life goes on and i will get over all the shits i went thro, i know i will. But for now i am the way i am. Insecure moody person, who feel a must beg to be loved and cared for.
My ex leaving my flat with end of this month, cannot wait the day. I still have some kind of feelings for him, but the things he did to me in last few days make it very easy for me to want him outta my life finaly. Hes being bastard, fucked me up with me once again, but its surely for the fucking last time he did it.
I used to care for him, helped him when he was in need, took him back everytime his gf's get sick of him and his cheating, BUT, the next time i am gonna just watch. I know i would still cry if i didnt help him, but i wont. I wont let him abuse me anymore. I am done with him once for good. I am in serious shits right now because of him, the bitch didnt give me the cash he should, so i wasnt able to pay for the rent for this month + he's selling our fridge and he knows very well i cannot affort to buy a new one. Its his fridge yes, but our kids are his as well and i wont have a place to put their food now. I dont get this, i really dont.... I dont understand how he can do this to HIS OWN kids. I was so wrong with him, God i was SO WRONG........ He's selfish bastard, thats the last memory of him i'll have.
He fucked up with me this month and will fuck up with my life the next month as well, because he already told me hes not planing to give me the child support untill the court will make him. Actualy he told me to make him pay, because its better for him if the court takes the cash from his salary because he can keep the whole rest for himself. I am already working on it, but this things with courts takes time and i already know i wont be able to make him pay next month yet, so i will get shit from him again. Its pissing me off to no end and i feel quite helpless because i know i cannot do anything about that. He will pay me all back once i will have the papers from the court in my hand, but untill then i am fucked. I need the cash to pay for the rent, so it suck bigtime and makes me stressed a lot, because i am afraid the owner could kick me outta my flat.
I gotta work it out somehow and i will, except my lovely ex i have also people who do love me for real, like my mum for example, shes helping me to get thro this hard times right now. I am getting a tough life lesson right now, but i will work it out and get outta this situation as a winer and as a free independant woman.
If i could faster the time, i would!! I want 1th May, now. I want my ex gone, NOW!!
I am very stressed and depressed sometimes, but i know i will be okay, just have to get used to live on my own. And i must make the bitch pay for the kids. And i will. I will see to it that he care for our kids. Even if i should force him to do so and use the courts to make him. I will.
And i recommend my ex to NEVER EVER ask me for help again, beacuse i wont. I will just watch and enjoy.
Last edited:
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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Kate, I'm glad to hear your ex is moving out. Maybe now you can finally move on. Good luck, and have faith in yourself. Be strong for your girls.
BiaTcHiNFiRe
lost in my thoughts
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Thank you ITW.
I will move on yes, i just have to. And theres not a better reason for it than my two litttle girls. I used to be afraid to be on my own, to be alone, but we will be okay without him. I know we will. For now its hard, but things will get better with time.
Cannot wait the day when he will be FINALY out of my flat and out of my life. I tryed get ride of him manytimes, but he always found some way how to stay. I wont be peaceful untill he's gone. Feel like only then i will be able to BREATH again.
Just few more days and i can close the chapter of my life called "my ex" and start a brand new chapter. Without a man to call my own, but oh so much happier i think.
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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Kate-
I know how you feel.. well not exactly but I know how you feel.. We are both going thru the emotional roller coaster.. I am here for you for support as well.. HUGS!!!
I know how you feel.. well not exactly but I know how you feel.. We are both going thru the emotional roller coaster.. I am here for you for support as well..
HUGS!!!
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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Thank you ITW.
I will move on yes, i just have to. And theres not a better reason for it than my two litttle girls. I used to be afraid to be on my own, to be alone, but we will be okay without him. I know we will. For now its hard, but things will get better with time.
Cannot wait the day when he will be FINALY out of my flat and out of my life. I tryed get ride of him manytimes, but he always found some way how to stay. I wont be peaceful untill he's gone. Feel like only then i will be able to BREATH again.
Just few more days and i can close the chapter of my life called "my ex" and start a brand new chapter. Without a man to call my own, but oh so much happier i think.
Honey, you're young and attractive. You can have men a plenty if you want. You have time for that - first things first. Work on you. Work on your financial situation and your home and making a stable life for your girls. And then relax. Take your time. You'll find a good man, and you'll be ready for him.
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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well it all came to a head tonight.. I dont think amicible is the word for it now.. which sux... but... such is life... Ill make it no matter what...
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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I hope this is a new beginning for you and your girls. It has been 16 years of heartache for you it seems, and best it not be 16 years and a day more. I'm not sure I would say you have wasted those years though...you have grown, you have learned what you don't want in a relationship, you have come to realise you are worthy of more than he was capable of giving you, you have become stronger, you have become more independent, you have shown yourself and the world you are a survivor, and you have two beautiful children who love you and you love in return. It will not always be easy I expect, but it will be a lot easier without having to carry the weight of him and his ways on your back dragging you down every day. You will recover and begin to feel more like the you that was, with an added depth and then hopefully you will find all the happiness you could wish for.
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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Sorry to hear it has turned out this way. It is his loss and you will survive because that is who you are.
Catalina
SubKekiLee
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Sorry to hear it has turned out this way. It is his loss and you will survive because that is who you are.
Catalina
Yes Catalina... Thank you for your thoughts.. I will make it I am strong, independant to a point... ( well not when it comes to Sir). Now I have to look forward and go forward and show the world I am that strong independant woman that Sir says I am... and be proud of who I am..
BiaTcHiNFiRe
lost in my thoughts
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So he's gone. Outta my flat. My ex i mean. I have very mixed feelings about all that was happening here lately, so i am not sure if i am happy or sad that he's gone. This way or another, this was the last split for us. Maybe knowig that makes me feel this numb, i dunno.
I am okay, but its weird. Its weird to be here without him and knowing he's not coming back this time. I was thinking about me and him alot today and i have so so many reasons to be happy he's gone. Now tell me why i am not happy about it then??? :/
We both failed. I will always love my ex, someway, i wont ever take him back again tho.
I am sorry we didnt make it.
I am okay, but its weird. Its weird to be here without him and knowing he's not coming back this time. I was thinking about me and him alot today and i have so so many reasons to be happy he's gone. Now tell me why i am not happy about it then??? :/
We both failed. I will always love my ex, someway, i wont ever take him back again tho.
I am sorry we didnt make it.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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It takes time to heal, and what the head knows the heart is sometimes slow to embrace...you will get there.
Catalina
bholderman
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the captians wench
sewing wench
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I am offically un-married now
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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bholderman
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Not sure if its a god or bad thing. I, personally, believe in working for the marriage. But at the same time recognize that doesnt mean it will work out.
So, you have my sympathies, or if its actually a good thing, a "good luck to your future."
Or perhaps both, actually.
So, you have my sympathies, or if its actually a good thing, a "good luck to your future."
Or perhaps both, actually.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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I hope this is an empowering moment for you more so than overwhelming.Catalina
SubKekiLee
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As you know we have been speaking daily about your feelings today.. I am here for you today, tommorrow always.. I hope you make today an empowerment day as well... it hasnt changed who you are in anyway... I promise you....
YOU are still J's girl..
KISSES
SKL
the captians wench
sewing wench
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Thank you all
Right now I think it's still just a bit of shock. I keep being reminded that this is all formality, we haven't lived together in 3 years, and we both have new lives, but some how it seems more real now than it has before.
I'm still not happy that we had to go thru this, but like most of the things that I wish I hadn't gone thru some really good things have come out of it. For instance, I would never have met Jounar if my ex hadn't decided he wanted to be my ex.
SKL you've been a huge pillow for me to crash on lately and you know I love you girl.
Jounar has been wonderful through all of this and very suportive and understanding of my feelings, as well as another one of my major supports here.
Wenchie did learn something very important today. Metal detectors do not like corsets.
Right now I think it's still just a bit of shock. I keep being reminded that this is all formality, we haven't lived together in 3 years, and we both have new lives, but some how it seems more real now than it has before.
I'm still not happy that we had to go thru this, but like most of the things that I wish I hadn't gone thru some really good things have come out of it. For instance, I would never have met Jounar if my ex hadn't decided he wanted to be my ex.
SKL you've been a huge pillow for me to crash on lately and you know I love you girl.
Jounar has been wonderful through all of this and very suportive and understanding of my feelings, as well as another one of my major supports here.Wenchie did learn something very important today. Metal detectors do not like corsets.
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
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Thank you all
Right now I think it's still just a bit of shock. I keep being reminded that this is all formality, we haven't lived together in 3 years, and we both have new lives, but some how it seems more real now than it has before.
I'm still not happy that we had to go thru this, but like most of the things that I wish I hadn't gone thru some really good things have come out of it. For instance, I would never have met Jounar if my ex hadn't decided he wanted to be my ex.
SKL you've been a huge pillow for me to crash on lately and you know I love you girl.
Wenchie did learn something very important today. Metal detectors do not like corsets.
WENCHIE!
YOU know anytime, Anyplace! and no mountain high enough , no river wide enough, YOU have been a comfort of solace for me as well.. while I go thru what I go thru... WE are here for one another.. and I LOVE You as well...
SKL
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