Divorce and Separation

[psyche]

"This too shall pass" is a practicable discipline - wish I could recall it all the time. It gets better....

Kitten says, "meow".

I know, sometimes when you're in the middle of something, it seems as if it will never end.

Got capnip?

 

[mbb308]

I know, sometimes when you're in the middle of something, it seems as if it will never end.

Got capnip?

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of something, I lose my temper and revert to a lot of that old crap that didn't work then, either. Old habits can be time consuming to break.

No, she wants a chocolate milkshake. Come to think of it, so do I.

 

[psyche]

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of something, I lose my temper and revert to a lot of that old crap that didn't work then, either. Old habits can be time consuming to break.

No, she wants a chocolate milkshake. Come to think of it, so do I.

Saw my typo! Chocolate is always good. And you're right, when we are in the middle of chaos those bad habits do come out in the worst ways.

 

[mbb308]

Saw my typo! Chocolate is always good. And you're right, when we are in the middle of chaos those bad habits do come out in the worst ways.

Wish they didn't, but the closest we shall ever get to perfection is to try to practice it. I just have hope that it will get better, and it usually does, if not on my terms.

 

[alltherage]

Good Idea for a thread. I have found in the years after my divorce that my life is much fuller in terms of career, and far more unstable in terms of relationships. A big part of that is being a mom. I love being a mom but I hate being defined by that role and yet their is no denying that I am. My ex takes little interest in the day to day care of the kids and relishes his role as the goodtime charley. I sometimes wish our roles would reverse.

 

[MissTaken]

Switching roles could be good for a day, but not more than that. HE may take them to the water fun park or whatever, but I get those special looks and little hugs that mean so much.

But yes, day to day stuff can become overwhelming when trying to work, make ends meet and do the best you can as a parent.

We are MORE than just "single moms." But for now, that seems to be the first term that slips out of my mouth when someone asks about me.

Hi rage!

I have missed posting with you and am glad to see you on this thread.

 

[mbb308]

Re: I am considering

starting a yahoo chat group concerning divorce and separation.

There are some out there, so I don't want to duplicate others.

However, I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions.

Firstly, where to put it?

In the "Personals" section or the "Family" section?

Now, how did I miss this earlier - getting blind in my middle age!!!!

I'm not familiar with the format, but keep me posted - I would certainly consider participating.

 

[mbb308]

Switching roles could be good for a day, but not more than that. HE may take them to the water fun park or whatever, but I get those special looks and little hugs that mean so much.

But yes, day to day stuff can become overwhelming when trying to work, make ends meet and do the best you can as a parent.

We are MORE than just "single moms." But for now, that seems to be the first term that slips out of my mouth when someone asks about me.

I simply want to say that I have developed a great appreciation for all the single mothers of the world. I admire a woman who can hold a job, raise her children, keep her house, and find time to have a life. For what it's worth, I'm on your side.

I do know a custodial father of 3 who seems to do a pretty good job himself.

 

[MissTaken]

I simply want to say that I have developed a great appreciation for all the single mothers of the world. I admire a woman who can hold a job, raise her children, keep her house, and find time to have a life. For what it's worth, I'm on your side.

I do know a custodial father of 3 who seems to do a pretty good job himself.

OOPS!

I forgot to "have a life!"



Well, at this point, my life is focussed on my children. They are young. So when considering dating, I veer away from those men who are more concerned with when the kids go to their dad's rather than how they are doing.

Single dads are unsung heroes. For many of them, the child care wasn't a primary focus for them until they found themselves on their own with kidlings. Accuse me of making stereotypes, it is my opinion and I own it

So those who do so, get my applause and admiration.

Regardless, raising children on your own is difficult at times, but you do what you need to, as with anything.

In fact, in many respects, at this point, being a single parent is easier than living with my ex and having to work the fourth person into the equation.

Insomnia = babbling!

Geesh!

 

[mbb308]

OOPS!

I forgot to "have a life!"



Well, at this point, my life is focussed on my children. They are young. So when considering dating, I veer away from those men who are more concerned with when the kids go to their dad's rather than how they are doing.

Single dads are unsung heroes. For many of them, the child care wasn't a primary focus for them until they found themselves on their own with kidlings. Accuse me of making stereotypes, it is my opinion and I own it

So those who do so, get my applause and admiration.

Regardless, raising children on your own is difficult at times, but you do what you need to, as with anything.

In fact, in many respects, at this point, being a single parent is easier than living with my ex and having to work the fourth person into the equation.

Insomnia = babbling!

Geesh!

I find the "have a life" part to be the biggest challenge - too many expectations on me.

Your children are the major component of your life, and they need to be included as much as possible. Kids can make dating difficult. I have dated a couple of women who had strange kids - and were strange women. The women I have liked better had kids I liked.

For whatever reason, my last longterm relationship was childless. She was very fond of mine, however, and wanted kids.

I think the children do better growing up with the parents split up and less day-to-day turmoil in the house. That factor weighed heavily in my decision to separate fron my son's mother.

You never babble, Dear. If anyone writes words worth reading, about thoughts worth thinking, you are she. Hope you get some sleep. I find staring at this screen to be stimulating, not relaxing.

 

[wordsmithe]

In fact, in many respects, at this point, being a single parent is easier than living with my ex and having to work the fourth person into the equation.

Insomnia = babbling!

Geesh!

That is not babbling, that is important stuff. A lot of people hang on to a marriage 'for the kids,' and some people break up to protect the kids. If there are children involved, they rightly become a prime consideration, and should continue to be a prime consideration when the newly single parent starts rebuilding, and resocializing. And a potential partner who doesn't see that the kids are an extension of the person as a whole automatically should be removed from the potential partner list.

For some, the children make the decision to split an easier one to swallow. However some people don't have that aspect to consider, and I really think it makes it harder then to decide on staying or leaving.

Finally, this thread, while doing so much good, has stayed serious a little too long. Hence a quick humor break.

1) The lawyer said, "So, Mickey Mouse, you want a divorce because Minny is acting mentally unbalanced?"

"No, I said she was fucking Goofy."

2) The lawyer said, "Why are you divorcing after 80 years of marriage?"

"We wanted to wait until the children had died..."

 

[MissTaken]

*smirks*

Cute jokes, wordsmithe! Thanks.

I suppose I needed a chuckle.

 

[KnightWing]

Thanks WordSmithe, That was a very funny one. I will try to remember it to tell again.

Hope all are having a great day.

 

[MissTaken]

I sit here in the quiet of dusk
gazing out the window and wishing my children were here. When they visit him, I slide into deep loneliness and sadness.

I am starting to think that I am living vicariously through them if I am so lost without them?

Ahhh but sleep will come and they will be here tomorrow.

 

[mbb308]

I sit here in the quiet of dusk
gazing out the window and wishing my children were here. When they visit him, I slide into deep loneliness and sadness.

I am starting to think that I am living vicariously through them if I am so lost without them?

Ahhh but sleep will come and they will be here tomorrow.

My hand seems to be free at the moment - may it hold yours?

I can sit with you....

 

[MissTaken]

My hand seems to be free at the moment - may it hold yours?

I can sit with you....

Thank you.

You are very sweet.

I am sorry to be so maudlin.

 

[mbb308]

Thank you.

You are very sweet.

I am sorry to be so maudlin.

You're very welcome.

I'll sit here.

You talk - I'll listen . . . .

 

[wordsmithe]

Quiet

This thread has gone quiet... I hope that means a lot of people are have a better time of it of late.

Vous souhaitant la paix et le bonheur

 

[chewbacca71]

Hello everyone. Back again. lol. I have a question for you all. We are still legally married, not yet seperated, yet she pushed me out of the house. I have been faithful to her for almost 12 years now , the whole time we are together. I have the oppurtunity to ummm meet with someone this coming week. I have been pretty much assured that sex is on her mind , lol. Should I feel guilty about this? Would be interested in others thoughts on this .

Thanks

Chewey

 

[MissTaken]

How do you feel? Are you interested in sex with this lady?


Even though he had a gf, I still felt hinky the first time I dated and then, when it turned into a full blown relationship, the telling was odd.

You are the only one who knows how you feel, dear.

Just dont' be surprised if you think you are ready and you feel a little strange about it all. That would be normal.

hugs to you

 

[KnightWing]

Same boat, different harbor.

Hey chewey.. Been there, going thru that, except that she is out and I have the house... kids are all in college. Just me and my pal on the left here.
You will probably feel alone afterwards, especially if she already has a husband or a b/f. Fuck buddies are just that... someone you can have sex with, talk lightly with, share some great sex together, but when all is said and done, you are still alone.
That is the realization that I had set in. If you are prepared for that, no problem.
I had been married just over 6 years... living with the lady for 12 years. We raised both her kids and mine...(didn't have any together) have them well on their way in life, some still in college, now she doesn't know what she wants. She has moved out.
Luckily my fuck buddy has become a friend as well and we will continue on that course for some time (I hope)
Good luck in what ever you do.

 

[mbb308]

Hello everyone. Back again. lol. I have a question for you all. We are still legally married, not yet seperated, yet she pushed me out of the house. I have been faithful to her for almost 12 years now , the whole time we are together. I have the oppurtunity to ummm meet with someone this coming week. I have been pretty much assured that sex is on her mind , lol. Should I feel guilty about this? Would be interested in others thoughts on this .

Thanks

Chewey

Let me see . . . you're a guy....

I know how your trousers will vote.

I'm almost sure I know how your head will vote.

Ask your guts, since their vote counts as three anyway.

"The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."
Lord Chesterfield

 

[chewbacca71]

LOL Thank you all for the advice. I think it will feel strange, but I think that I will go through with it. I have to start getting used to this in the future so I may as well start now.

Chewey

 

[mbb308]

LOL Thank you all for the advice. I think it will feel strange, but I think that I will go through with it. I have to start getting used to this in the future so I may as well start now.

Chewey

If everybody is an adult, and have both eyes wide open, and tell no lies . . . oh what the hell, you're a big boy!!!!

I understand a trousers vote!!!

 

[chewbacca71]

If everybody is an adult, and have both eyes wide open, and tell no lies . . . oh what the hell, you're a big boy!!!!

I understand a trousers vote!!!

Yeah, I fully understand that vote too. lol. I think that has been one of the hardest parts of this transition. We had always had a very health sex life. Even during our troubles, we were still enjoying each other about 3 times a week. It has been strange going from 3 to 4 times a week to 3 weeks without.

Chewey