Distance Domination-Support Thread

[ecstaticsub]

ES...i am sorry you went through that. That had to be really tough on you.

But it goes to show that it is very hard, but worth it. i hate the distance between me and Sir too...and hope it will change, but now it is difficult. It helps me to read all of your experiences here...all of you, thank you.

Hugs.

Just checking in here. Sir and I are about to celebrate a year and half.

ES- I am sorry you two are struggling.. {{{HUGS}}}}}

Thanks, we are doing fine now. We are at the 3 yr 11 month mark.

The only time we have difficulties is when I am overstressed and overwhelmed at home. He is very patient and understanding. Which, of course, is great and appreciated. But it then makes our relationship seem more like a vanilla b/f g/f type of relationship. He is ok with this because he knows it will only be temporary. (His patience is freaking amazing)

But I am too emotional. I start to feel guilty about not being able to "do it all". So I end up doing everything in my life not 100%. This time I ended up in total meltdown, for the first time in our relationship.

Unfortunately the meltdown occurred as I was getting ready for work. (nothing like showing up for work with blood shot eyes) The good part about that was it gave us both 10 hrs to calm down.

The answer is I have to become even more creative about finding that balance between my vanilla life and responsibilities and my D/s relationship and responsibilities.

 

[the captians wench]

*huggles ES* I'm glad things worked out.

Congrats SKL. And I'm sorry we missed each other here recently. Maybe you should try to come into Cincy, it's closer to where I work so if I had to I could pop in and have lunch before or after work.



Well, today I made conformations at work with what my plane is scheduled atm. But I still don't know much more than I knew before. I'm thinking right now that at least if I did go, then we'd have the option of seeing each other, where as right now if I wanted to see a movie with him it would involve a 24 hour journey. I still think it's too soon to press the issue with him, but I have been casually mentioning hotel prices and what not just as I did before. I just want to make it clear to him that if I do visit next month, he's not obligated to spend the entire time with me, he can see to his obligations first, and then I'll be there when he has a few moments to spare. Just having the option is enough for me, because it's so much more than what we have now. *sigh*

 

[ecstaticsub]

*huggles ES* I'm glad things worked out.

Congrats SKL. And I'm sorry we missed each other here recently. Maybe you should try to come into Cincy, it's closer to where I work so if I had to I could pop in and have lunch before or after work.



Well, today I made conformations at work with what my plane is scheduled atm. But I still don't know much more than I knew before. I'm thinking right now that at least if I did go, then we'd have the option of seeing each other, where as right now if I wanted to see a movie with him it would involve a 24 hour journey. I still think it's too soon to press the issue with him, but I have been casually mentioning hotel prices and what not just as I did before. I just want to make it clear to him that if I do visit next month, he's not obligated to spend the entire time with me, he can see to his obligations first, and then I'll be there when he has a few moments to spare. Just having the option is enough for me, because it's so much more than what we have now. *sigh*

I did the same sort of thing with a visit once. He was going to be busy and wasn't able to spend the entire time with me. But I needed to see him and I knew if I didn't take that chance then it would be a long time before we would get another. It worked out great. He was able to spend more time with me then we both had thought. I didn't mind being alone the periods of time he had other obligations. At least I wasn't at work

 

[KayKat]

Just checking in here. Sir and I are about to celebrate a year and half.

ES- I am sorry you two are struggling.. {{{HUGS}}}}}

Waving to SKL..so glad to see you hon!!!!! WOOOHOOOO on your year and half!!

 

[KayKat]

The distance almost brought our relationship to an end last week.

I won't go into all the not so pretty details of why it almost ended, because most important is that it didn't end.

After all the tears, the heated discussions, the mutual frustration was that we had faith in each other. Faith in each other's commitment to our relationship. We won't ever live with each other, or even too much closer. We are happily married and in love with our vanilla spouses and that will never change.

I have to learn to simply accept the realities, balance my priorities and remember the basics of my D/s relationship. For those times when I think I can't go on without physically being held by Daddy i just have to get creative.

ES sorry to hear you have been going through this..I hope that this week is a better week for you..I am glad that the two of you were able to talk and are continuing your relationship!

 

[mistyrydher]

Desperately seeking words of wisdom...

The paperwork is on its way to the NZ consulate and my fate is now in their hands. did i happen to mention patience is not my strong point! How do i remain calm? i don't want to cause undo stress for Master.

Oh and shameless plug here...celebrating our 16 months today!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

 

[Adakgirl]

Sometimes in order to remain calm I must loose it. I need to get out all the stuff I have built up. I will climb to the top of a hill or hike to a secluded area, a high area where I can see a lot of landscape below me and then I simply scream my head off. Not "help" or any words really....just yell and holler and scream until there is nothing left in me to scream out. I might stomp my feet or throw rocks or whatever. Sometimes I cry and or laugh too.... like a completely insane idiot. After that I sit and just look at whats below me and above me. I think about how insignificant I am and how very small I am compared to the world around me. I always leave with a calm spirit and a clear head.

Congrats to all you who are having LDR anniversaries! Way to GO! So happy for you all!!

 

[SubKekiLee]

*huggles ES* I'm glad things worked out.

Congrats SKL. And I'm sorry we missed each other here recently. Maybe you should try to come into Cincy, it's closer to where I work so if I had to I could pop in and have lunch before or after work.
*sigh*

YES hopefully.. I wasnt there long enough.. 28 mins is all to speak.. and a whole 12 people coming back.. hahaha Ill see you soon I promise

Waving to SKL..so glad to see you hon!!!!! WOOOHOOOO on your year and half!!

*waves at KK crazily* HI girl!!! I miss you !!! I have been so busy with work and home hardly get a chance to pop in.. SOON girl soon


ES- Im glad things are okay. PM me so we can talk about meeting up soon.

 

[mistyrydher]

Sometimes in order to remain calm I must loose it. I need to get out all the stuff I have built up. I will climb to the top of a hill or hike to a secluded area, a high area where I can see a lot of landscape below me and then I simply scream my head off. Not "help" or any words really....just yell and holler and scream until there is nothing left in me to scream out. I might stomp my feet or throw rocks or whatever. Sometimes I cry and or laugh too.... like a completely insane idiot. After that I sit and just look at whats below me and above me. I think about how insignificant I am and how very small I am compared to the world around me. I always leave with a calm spirit and a clear head.

Congrats to all you who are having LDR anniversaries! Way to GO! So happy for you all!!

Thanks so much for the advice, it sounds like a great way to get it out. i might have to get my hiking boots out...soon!

 

[the captians wench]

I did the same sort of thing with a visit once. He was going to be busy and wasn't able to spend the entire time with me. But I needed to see him and I knew if I didn't take that chance then it would be a long time before we would get another. It worked out great. He was able to spend more time with me then we both had thought. I didn't mind being alone the periods of time he had other obligations. At least I wasn't at work

This is what I'm thinking. I mean, it's not like I"m totally helpless in finding my own entertainment. I know how to hail a cab now. *giggles* besides that if I stay in the city center there is tons to do. My only problem would be if I get lost, which would be very likely, but then I'm sure even that wouldn't be a huge deal. I'm going to wait just a bit longer before sujesting this. He's under enough stress right now with out worrying about me.

Desperately seeking words of wisdom...

The paperwork is on its way to the NZ consulate and my fate is now in their hands. did i happen to mention patience is not my strong point! How do i remain calm? i don't want to cause undo stress for Master.

Oh and shameless plug here...celebrating our 16 months today!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

Sometimes in order to remain calm I must loose it. I need to get out all the stuff I have built up. I will climb to the top of a hill or hike to a secluded area, a high area where I can see a lot of landscape below me and then I simply scream my head off. Not "help" or any words really....just yell and holler and scream until there is nothing left in me to scream out. I might stomp my feet or throw rocks or whatever. Sometimes I cry and or laugh too.... like a completely insane idiot. After that I sit and just look at whats below me and above me. I think about how insignificant I am and how very small I am compared to the world around me. I always leave with a calm spirit and a clear head.

Congrats to all you who are having LDR anniversaries! Way to GO! So happy for you all!!

This is a great idea. When things are too much for me, I go for a walk, tho not a whole lot of woods around me. I do find enough nature that I can loose myself in it and think.

I also talk, and talk a lot. On my thread here, to friends and family, and probably the most relaxing and calming thing I do is email him. I always put a warning either at the top or in the subject that I realize I'm being silly with what I'm about to say, but I have to get it out. I totally flipped out durring the wait just before my visit. I used to worry that I was overwhelming him with the random worries and impractical fears that I wrote to him about, but he has assured me that he loves knowing what's going on in my head. He never replies, and never comments on them. He just let's me "talk" what ever I need to out and "listens". It works well for us, and I think it's one of the things that strengthens us.

YES hopefully.. I wasnt there long enough.. 28 mins is all to speak.. and a whole 12 people coming back.. hahaha Ill see you soon I promise




*waves at KK crazily* HI girl!!! I miss you !!! I have been so busy with work and home hardly get a chance to pop in.. SOON girl soon


ES- Im glad things are okay. PM me so we can talk about meeting up soon.

LOL, on my flight to Philly there were a whole 5 people on the flight with me. *giggles* The flight attendant read off the gate connections towards the end of the flight and had a visible "ooohhhh" in her voice when she read my London connection and how to catch the shuttle there.

I was the only one on the flight connecting to London, and the only one on the shuttle from gate A to gate F in Philly. *giggles*

 

[KayKat]

YES hopefully.. I wasnt there long enough.. 28 mins is all to speak.. and a whole 12 people coming back.. hahaha Ill see you soon I promise




*waves at KK crazily* HI girl!!! I miss you !!! I have been so busy with work and home hardly get a chance to pop in.. SOON girl soon


ES- Im glad things are okay. PM me so we can talk about meeting up soon.

I miss you too hon...Hope you can pop on soon..miss talking to you!! yes very soon girl!

 

[LMs_ds]

14 years of Long Distance

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

Wow. Congrats!

That is amazing.

 

[ecstaticsub]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

14 years....wow, I am inspired The part I bolded is so true for us, too.

Thank you so much for sharing.

 

[Homburg]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

Wow! Congratulations! Talk about inspiring!

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Yes, 14 years...blows me away. But it goes to show that the right thing is worth the difficulty and the work. The rewards....wow.

Congrats and thanks for sharing.

 

[akuyim]

Congratulations on 14 years. That is truly awe inspiring. I hope you have many more to come as well.

 

[KayKat]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

Congratulations..that is wonderful!!

 

[mistyrydher]

I also talk, and talk a lot. On my thread here, to friends and family, and probably the most relaxing and calming thing I do is email him. I always put a warning either at the top or in the subject that I realize I'm being silly with what I'm about to say, but I have to get it out. I totally flipped out durring the wait just before my visit. I used to worry that I was overwhelming him with the random worries and impractical fears that I wrote to him about, but he has assured me that he loves knowing what's going on in my head. He never replies, and never comments on them. He just let's me "talk" what ever I need to out and "listens". It works well for us, and I think it's one of the things that strengthens us.

thanks so much!

i have my journal and i write in there to get stuff out of my head but as far and friends and family, i can't talk to them about these feelings *sighs*

i know He loves me, worries and all, i just wish i was stronger and didn't need to bother Him so much.

 

[mistyrydher]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

14 years...that's incredible!!!! Congrats!!!

i'm right there with you, wishing for summer to hurry up and get here

 

[sinnocence]

LM and I just reached our 14th anniversary. If anyone had suggested way back then that even 14 weeks was possible, I'd have thought them insane. Now 14 years later, maybe I'm the one who is insane.

There have been times when it's been incredibly difficult -times when I think we both wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it before we got in too deep. What we didn't realize is that we were already there long before we ever touched physically.

There's nothing like what we feel together and nothing that could possibly be better for us. Well ok, being together more often would be better but that isn't going to happen. (sigh) We take what we can get and know that if it was possible, there'd be more.

It's hard but at the same time so right....

so incredibly right.

Now, if summer would just arrive so I can get on that plane to Him!

Awesome. Congratulations! Summer's not too far off.

 

[the captians wench]

thanks so much!

i have my journal and i write in there to get stuff out of my head but as far and friends and family, i can't talk to them about these feelings *sighs*

i know He loves me, worries and all, i just wish i was stronger and didn't need to bother Him so much.

I used to feel the same way, it bothered me that I relied on him so much to help me thru things. Even if all he was doing was "listening", hell I didn't even know if he read every email or not as he never commented on them. I know it got really bad as we got closer to time for my first visit, and that's when I started appologizing for flooding his mail box. That was when he assured me that he wanted to hear those things. I loves that I rely on him to much, and trust him with these issues I have, when I have them. It was as comforting to him to hear my rambles as it was for me to blurt them out. But every couple is different.



Am I the only one who is a bit saddened by the idea of being in a 14 year LDR? I know every one's situation is different here. And maybe part of this is because I'm so young. But I get a little sad even by the prospect of still being in an LDR in 5 years when I will qualify for my sabatical and be able to spend the entire 90days with him that my passport will allow. While the idea of spending that much time with him excites me, the idea of me still just visiting twice a year until then does...well, sadden me, I don't know how else to discribe it.

I love Jounar, and I can't imagine my life with out him, even if I only see him in the flesh for a total of one month a year. But I'm very eager to close the gap. The only real thing in my mind holding us back from that is a little ceremoney in a white dress. *giggles*

14 years of LDR really is something to celebrate, as any 14 year relationship, but please forgive me if I hope that when we hit 14, the LD part has been long dropped.

 

[LMs_ds]

I used to feel the same way, it bothered me that I relied on him so much to help me thru things. Even if all he was doing was "listening", hell I didn't even know if he read every email or not as he never commented on them. I know it got really bad as we got closer to time for my first visit, and that's when I started appologizing for flooding his mail box. That was when he assured me that he wanted to hear those things. I loves that I rely on him to much, and trust him with these issues I have, when I have them. It was as comforting to him to hear my rambles as it was for me to blurt them out. But every couple is different.

When I'm feeling "off" about anything I write to Him. The things I write about don't necessarily have anything to do with Us but if it bothers me it keeps me from serving Him the way I should. I ramble, purging myself of fears and confusion. He always responds, sometimes telling me to just keep writing, sometimes telling me that I've said something profound! The thing is, for me at least, the very act of putting the words down helps me let go of the fear or confusion. And it pleases LM that I trust Him to understand that I don't always want it fixed but that I simply need to acknowledge the feelings so I can let go of them. It's cleansing.

Am I the only one who is a bit saddened by the idea of being in a 14 year LDR? I know every one's situation is different here. And maybe part of this is because I'm so young. But I get a little sad even by the prospect of still being in an LDR in 5 years when I will qualify for my sabatical and be able to spend the entire 90days with him that my passport will allow. While the idea of spending that much time with him excites me, the idea of me still just visiting twice a year until then does...well, sadden me, I don't know how else to discribe it.

I love Jounar, and I can't imagine my life with out him, even if I only see him in the flesh for a total of one month a year. But I'm very eager to close the gap. The only real thing in my mind holding us back from that is a little ceremoney in a white dress. *giggles*

14 years of LDR really is something to celebrate, as any 14 year relationship, but please forgive me if I hope that when we hit 14, the LD part has been long dropped.

I understand what you're saying. And I hope that for you it is different.

But what we have isn't sad. It's glorious.

We'd love to be able to be together. But our circumstances aren't going to change.

14 years ago, LM and I took a chance. Neither of us thought it could last. We made no promises of forever. We were going to sex and have fun in the process. Instead we found somthing we didn't know was possible. We've grown, we've learned and we consider ourselves fortunate to be together, distance and all.

We're both desperate to be together again. When we are together it's like we never parted. It's been like that for us from the very first time we touched physically.

We are devoted to one another. (He'll say that Masters are NOT devoted to their slaves ) We trust one another with all that we are. We're also doomed to a LDR.

But we won't let ourselves be sad. We focus on the positive. We managed to fall into something so amazing, so right, so intense, so natural. It's more than either of us ever dreamed of.

Celebrate, don't mourn. Our motto.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Thank you for that reply. It helped me way more today than you will ever know.

Celebrate, not mourn. i will remember that one...i needed to hear it today.

 

[00Syd]

*pokes head through the door*

I haven't been in this thread in like... a year or something.

But uhm, I recently got involved with a guy back home in NY, who I like a heck of a lot. I've done LD before (did it for 3.5 years), but this will be his first time. This will also be the first relationship I've been in that hasn't been completely, absolutely monogamous, so, a first for each of us. I'm a little nervous but I have high hopes.

I've been regretting leaving NY even more than usual, lately. Boston feels like being stuck in quicksand.

P.S. To the person who's been in an LDR for 14 years... WOW. Congrats. That's amazing.