Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Adakgirl]

Though I don't really feel like she's a guest any more. I think she's home.
I'd rather not see the china cabinet knocked over though. It would be a serious mess.

Yes, I realize that is how YOU feel. Sorry about the china cabinet example, I tend to over dramatize to get my point across sometimes.

im in the house right now by myself. for the first time. ever. Master or viv or the kids were always around. its weird, but i dont feel out of place. i actually feel pretty content. i dont have the "tiptoe around somebody elses place so as not to disturb anything" vibe. im just hear. its comfortable.

not comfortable for the first time. alone in the house for the first time

In my view, feeling out of place and feeling like you have to tip toe around the house when your master, viv and the kids are there, means you have not felt completely relaxed and comfortable in the home when they are there. Since this was your first time in the home when they were not there, that meant to me that it was the first time you have really felt comfortable there.
Plz excuse me if I misunderstood your meaning.

 

[Homburg]

Yes, I realize that is how YOU feel. Sorry about the china cabinet example, I tend to over dramatize to get my point across sometimes.

Heh, no, it's cool. I was being a bit dry there.

 

[Mistress_Belladonna]

Did you know that Vonage will allow creation of a virtual number anywhere in the UK for only $4.99 per month and one time set-up fee of $9.99? At least that's what it costs for me if I set one up here in the States.... say, for my son in Dublin. Not sure what the service costs in the UK or Europe. That takes much of the cost out of the equation. And Vonage has been excellent for me in not only their service costs, but the quality as well, for the 5 years I've had them.

And no~ I don't own stock! ;-)

 

[kittenartist]

Well, it is definitely over this time.

I am not really sad. It is not a negative ending. In fact, it may just be a pause. But at the end of the day neither of us could handle long distance long term. I mean, we have both done it before, and when we met we said we would not be long distance because we both hate it. That is why, after a month, he moved the 300 miles to be with me full time. But then he joined the military and we were back to long distance. It was alright when we thought it would be relatively short term but... when we stopped seeing the light at the end of the tunnel we stopped being able to cope. We are great friends, and, should we both be single when he is local again we will probably resume our relationship.

In the, meantime, I am dating locally. Not to just fill the time but with sincere interest. I would love to find an actual partner. I would love for him to find the same. Although, it is been so long I am not sure I even know how to date. But figuring it out is entertaining. And chatting with him, talking to him, and sharing with him in a happy place is really great. The pressure of a painful relationship has been lifted and now we can be friends again. I have always treasured his friendship.

Wishing you all the best in your LDRs. And hoping I never slip into one again. *hugs all*

 

[the captians wench]

Did you know that Vonage will allow creation of a virtual number anywhere in the UK for only $4.99 per month and one time set-up fee of $9.99? At least that's what it costs for me if I set one up here in the States.... say, for my son in Dublin. Not sure what the service costs in the UK or Europe. That takes much of the cost out of the equation. And Vonage has been excellent for me in not only their service costs, but the quality as well, for the 5 years I've had them.

And no~ I don't own stock! ;-)

When I was trying to figure out how to get it set up I couldn't find a way to have a european number. I would love to have a number that I could make calls to him and him to me from,and it be local, but the only way me and the rep I talked to could find to do it was if I set it up here with a say cincinnati number and shipped the equipment to him....

Let's talk about this shall we?

 

[the captians wench]

Thats the accent that makes you go weak at the knees? I know it so well.

I am certainly no skinny minnie, so I have to hunt for them as I said before, but I agree, when daddy tells me what to wear the orders kinda drip from him for want of a better way of putting it, its like a drip feed and as you say, almost not really paying attention. Although that said, daddy MORE than pays attention when I finally present him with the finished article.

Irish is the accent that will first make me weak, a close second is English. I was watching the special features on the Twilight dvd and just about wet myself.

I've only ever heard that kind of domination from two men, one my love, and one an englishman. (go figuer eh? ) Both seemed to put as much effort into it as asking me to fetch a coke. For some reason this healf heartedness really makes me feel subservient.

But you're right, the eye pop once you present yourself gives him away. *giggles*

Thank you btw. Reliving this has really been helpful. I think I'm falling back into a place where I almost don't believe I was really there. Like it was all just some wonderful dream, or I imagined the whole thing. Hearing the memory play in my head again almost makes it real.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Well, it is definitely over this time.

I am not really sad. It is not a negative ending. In fact, it may just be a pause. But at the end of the day neither of us could handle long distance long term. I mean, we have both done it before, and when we met we said we would not be long distance because we both hate it. That is why, after a month, he moved the 300 miles to be with me full time. But then he joined the military and we were back to long distance. It was alright when we thought it would be relatively short term but... when we stopped seeing the light at the end of the tunnel we stopped being able to cope. We are great friends, and, should we both be single when he is local again we will probably resume our relationship.

In the, meantime, I am dating locally. Not to just fill the time but with sincere interest. I would love to find an actual partner. I would love for him to find the same. Although, it is been so long I am not sure I even know how to date. But figuring it out is entertaining. And chatting with him, talking to him, and sharing with him in a happy place is really great. The pressure of a painful relationship has been lifted and now we can be friends again. I have always treasured his friendship.

Wishing you all the best in your LDRs. And hoping I never slip into one again. *hugs all*

Being with someone in the military is one LDR after another with some time together in between. Maybe that is why i can handle my LDR relatively well. My marriage has over the last 20+ years has had many 3-12 month periods of time that we have been separated.

It's really great that you are still friends, friendship is precious. Good luck on the dating scene...I think it is like riding a bike, it'll just come back to you.

 

[ChuckEPenguin]

My K is far too...self reliant (see also:stoic, private, proud) to post on any thread insinuating that she needs support, so I'll take the liberty of posting for her.

She might begin by telling you all how she sometimes sits on her beach and stares out to sea, in my direction. Or, perhaps she would describe how she walks through her days feeling as if she has only half her soul. Most definitely, she would make a joke, at her own expense, a bit of prestidigitation meant to distract you.

Don't be fooled. Even gypsies get the blues.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Irish is the accent that will first make me weak, a close second is English. I was watching the special features on the Twilight dvd and just about wet myself.

I've only ever heard that kind of domination from two men, one my love, and one an englishman. (go figuer eh? ) Both seemed to put as much effort into it as asking me to fetch a coke. For some reason this healf heartedness really makes me feel subservient.

But you're right, the eye pop once you present yourself gives him away. *giggles*

Thank you btw. Reliving this has really been helpful. I think I'm falling back into a place where I almost don't believe I was really there. Like it was all just some wonderful dream, or I imagined the whole thing. Hearing the memory play in my head again almost makes it real.

Its as real as shutting your eyes as he is talking on the other end of the phone and imagining him next to you, talking in your ear. Which is about whats keeping me stood upright at the moment. I fly two weeks tomorrow and it can't come soon enough..

On the subject of phone prices, would you believe, I am in the UK, he is in Dublin and hes classed as INTERBLOODYNATIONAL???? beggars belief.

 

[the captians wench]

Its as real as shutting your eyes as he is talking on the other end of the phone and imagining him next to you, talking in your ear. Which is about whats keeping me stood upright at the moment. I fly two weeks tomorrow and it can't come soon enough..

On the subject of phone prices, would you believe, I am in the UK, he is in Dublin and hes classed as INTERBLOODYNATIONAL???? beggars belief.

I KNOW! I swear when it comes to phone rates in Ireland it is unbelievable! And he says that they are talking about puting a 1 cent tax on all text messages! Can you believe that? If they do that O2 had better stop sending me all those fucking texts! (I have an O2 sim card and a phone for when I'm over there. )

I'm feeling a bit better today. I got a text from him catching me up a bit on his weekend. As I figured he had his hands full with family. *sigh* Holidays are just really hard. Not only am I away from him, but I'm usually working, and even if I wasn't my brother and his lot are all the way in Kansas now so I don't have 2/3s of my family here anymore. That and I'm PMSing, so you know all the emotional girlly stuffs.

 

[the captians wench]

Well, it is definitely over this time.

I am not really sad. It is not a negative ending. In fact, it may just be a pause. But at the end of the day neither of us could handle long distance long term. I mean, we have both done it before, and when we met we said we would not be long distance because we both hate it. That is why, after a month, he moved the 300 miles to be with me full time. But then he joined the military and we were back to long distance. It was alright when we thought it would be relatively short term but... when we stopped seeing the light at the end of the tunnel we stopped being able to cope. We are great friends, and, should we both be single when he is local again we will probably resume our relationship.

In the, meantime, I am dating locally. Not to just fill the time but with sincere interest. I would love to find an actual partner. I would love for him to find the same. Although, it is been so long I am not sure I even know how to date. But figuring it out is entertaining. And chatting with him, talking to him, and sharing with him in a happy place is really great. The pressure of a painful relationship has been lifted and now we can be friends again. I have always treasured his friendship.

Wishing you all the best in your LDRs. And hoping I never slip into one again. *hugs all*

*huggles*

At least you have it all sorted now.

 

[Arkhilokhus]

Well, since I'm pretty firmly in a new LDR now, maybe there's room here for one more?

We had a Movie Day today, renting the same movie - Quantum of Solace - and talking on Skype while we watched it at the same time. It was really fun! Being able to hear Her reactions to the movie - all the gasps and sniffles and other noises as well as Her actual words - really bridged the distance for a bit. It was challenging to keep at the same point in the movie when we were interrupted and had to pause, but overall it went really well! Mistress is very knowledgeable about cinematography, too, so it was a lot of fun listening to Her talk about the movie.

Mistress and I have just started talking about the possibility of a Visit. It's at least several months away, due to finances, but it's being seriously discussed. She's also asked for my collar, wrist and ankle measurements, which gave me a thrill, I can tell you.

 

[wicked woman]

Well, since I'm pretty firmly in a new LDR now, maybe there's room here for one more?

We had a Movie Day today, renting the same movie - Quantum of Solace - and talking on Skype while we watched it at the same time. It was really fun! Being able to hear Her reactions to the movie - all the gasps and sniffles and other noises as well as Her actual words - really bridged the distance for a bit. It was challenging to keep at the same point in the movie when we were interrupted and had to pause, but overall it went really well! Mistress is very knowledgeable about cinematography, too, so it was a lot of fun listening to Her talk about the movie.

ah we've have movies dates too. I really enjoy them. As you say, it's nice to hear his responses, to discuss it. Not quite the same as being together but close.

 

[the captians wench]

We've never done the movie thing, but one of my fondest phone conversations with him was on my birthday. He was just so stressed out he was only half paying attention and I ended up listening to him play with his cat. *giggles* It was so heart warming listening to him coo and talk to the cat and hear the cat purr at his touch. "Seeing" that exposure just made me feel so much closer to him than 3500+miles.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

We have never done the movie thing either, it sounds wonderful.

Saying that though, I am VERY lucky when life is not conspiring. I work shifts and he works 9-5 Monday to Friday so when I am off, he has the luxury of being able to contact me with a phone card. We are sometimes on the phone for 3-4 hours

My favourite memory so far? Spending a stolen Saturday night on webcam, talking through type but able to see each other, something that happens so rarely.

11 days and counting, I'm running out of words to express excitement, I am down to a mixture of grins and eeks

 

[mistyrydher]

We have never done the movie thing either, it sounds wonderful.

Saying that though, I am VERY lucky when life is not conspiring. I work shifts and he works 9-5 Monday to Friday so when I am off, he has the luxury of being able to contact me with a phone card. We are sometimes on the phone for 3-4 hours

My favourite memory so far? Spending a stolen Saturday night on webcam, talking through type but able to see each other, something that happens so rarely.

11 days and counting, I'm running out of words to express excitement, I am down to a mixture of grins and eeks

Congrats on your countdown...i still have 75 days to go But at least the paperwork is out of the way, for now and my visa is all set *big grins*

We have done movie night and it was great. i agree with you, those moments when you can steal away and spend time together are wonderful treasures.

MP reads to me at bedtime. He reads a few pages each night depending on the amount of time we have. It's funny because nights when He doesn't have the time to read to me, i don't sleep well. We also wrote a story together, each adding to it in turn and that was a lot of fun

best of luck to you and your One!!!

angel

 

[myinnerslut]

i had a tough day today. PMS, tons of work, and post visit moping.

the homestretch is the toughest one, but also in its own way the easiest.

 

[Mistress_Belladonna]

That's sweet!

She had an "I don't want to go back," moment last night. I looked at her and said, "This is the last one. Don't think of it as going back there. Think of if more as a long visit."

I hope all is coming along smoothly for the move! Congrats to all of you! ;-)

 

[BiBunny]

I feel awkward posting here, almost as if my whining belittles people who are in actual LDRs. But I kinda need to talk, and it's definitely not worth starting another thread, and I don't really know where else to put it. It's not an isolated blurt, and I don't think it belongs in any of the other threads, either. I hope y'all don't mind too much.

I'm not in an actual LDR. I live 70ish miles from my owners. Given city traffic, in both my city and theirs, it's about a 90 minute drive.

I know that's not far at all. It's just far enough that it's not very time-efficient to drive back and forth every time I get to feeling needy. And with my income situation at the moment, anything more than a once-weekly visit is cost-prohibitive. I could stay there all the time, I guess, but it seems stupid to pay rent and utilities at a place I'm not living in, and I'm stuck in my lease until August.

Yeah, I know. I have no right to be pouting about this here. Feel free to ignore me. It's just that I feel very isolated and very far away from them right this second.

I just have this problem, in that I get crazy high endorphin levels when I play. And then a couple of days later, I feel like shit, hence my post here. I know from whence I speak.

I know this happens to me, and you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it hurts every time just like the first time, the crash once I'm alone.

Thursday night, we had an incredible scene that ranks up there as one the hottest I've ever been involved with. I came back home Friday. I started feeling icky yesterday, and I feel even ickier now. I'm really, really miserable at the moment and adapting this from the blog I posted earlier.

I also hate to bother B. and J. with my whining.

I've been stuck here alone all weekend. I haven't gotten a thing done. I literally do not feel like getting out of bed.

God, I hate this. It sounds so pathetic and so self-pitying.

I just don't like being alone when I feel this way, but Kitty's not in town, and all my attempts at trying to get together with any of my other friends have been rebuffed. Not that I actually told them what the problem was, mind you. It's a little embarrassing to say, "Please hang out with me because I don't want to be alone because I feel like shit."

I need them, and I detest my neediness. I try not to bug them because I just know one day they're going to get sick of me clinging and scream, "Go AWAY already!"

I do not know why I'm suffering so much with it right now.

I just...I need snuggles. Not from one of them, from both of them. I want to lie between them while they look down and smile at me and hold me close. I want to feel the overwhelming sense of RIGHTNESS when B. calls me "pet." ('Cause, let's face it, as cute as the moniker is and as much as J. loves calling me "slave-girl," I'm about the farthest thing from an actual slave-girl that you can imagine, what, with my neediness and my demanding-ness [technical term] and my blatant attention whoring.)

I want to feel the stupid grin creep over my face when J. says, "Good girl," to me in the exact same tone she uses with the dogs. I want to kiss them both. I want to feel the sense of happy security I get when I'm in their arms or, by extension, their bonds.

And now I'm teary-eyed. Jesus Christ, what have these people done to me?

I know I'm going back Tuesday. But Tuesday seems forever away right now, for some reason. I hate to be That Girl, but it's like nothing seems quite right when I'm not with the only man I've ever called and will ever call Master and the only woman I've ever called and will ever call Mistress.

Please forgive my existential whining and bitching. I'll let y'all get back to your thread of people in real LDRs now.

 

[Homburg]

BB, do you think I feel inadequate and wimpy about my distance when people like Wenchie post? She's got a transatlantic flight between her and Jounar. Or Misty whose moving to NZ? Maybe a little. Okay, I do, but it does not mean I'm not in an LDR just because someone else's L is much more L than mine.

In your case, you live far enough away that you can't get to them as frequently as you want. You've got enough of a drive that you can't pop over casually, money or not. More importantly, because of the distance between you and them, you're feeling alone and in need, and you can't just pop over to fix it.

It's not so much about the length of the long distance, as much as it is about the distance and circumstance preventing you from having the sort of contact that you all want.

 

[the captians wench]

Hommy is right, Bunny.

When I was involved with some one who lived down town (which would be about equivilant to the travel you have discribed) I was just as clingy and needy for them as I am with Jounar.

It does not matter if they are 3500+ miles away, 90 minutes, or even right around the cornor if they are not there when you feel a need for them, they might as well live on the moon.

I think it makes it even worse when they are close enough that it seems like it should be reasonable to just pop over there when you feel needy, but far enough that time and or money don't allow it. I say this because, even though I tried hard not to, I held more resentment towards my adopters when I was not able to spend time with them when I wanted to than I ever have with Jounar. Why? Because even if Jounar hopped a plane (or more likely I did) right at the second that I felt like I needed him NOW we would not be together for at least 24 hours, but that little needy attention whore would say "if they really wanted to they could be here in an hour". So then I felt even more abandoned and alone, and even unwanted at times.

It was totally irrational for me to feel that way, but when are emotions ever rational?

So you go ahead and mope and wallow here. *snuggles* Anyone who wants to complain can come see me. *patheticlly non-threatinging war face*

 

[mistyrydher]

BB, i have to agree with Homburg, the ache of longing is still there whether you are 90 minutes or countries away. If you cannot reach out and be held when you need it, it still hurts.

i have only had 6 days with MP and have now been back in the states for over 6 months. i know i only have 3 months to go before i am back with Him but the ache has become so deep. Time doesn't seem to be moving fast enough.

my advice for what it is worth, remember i am very new to all of this, is talk to Them. i know it is hard, i hate feeling so needy sometimes but if They do not know how you are feeling how can They help you? i belong to MP and He reminds me often that ALL of me belongs to Him, thoughts, feelings, everything...good or bad. Sometimes spending time with Him on the phone is enough to chase off the blues for a bit, or doing something for Him to help me feel connected to Him.

i hope you are feeling better soon *hugs*

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

I do not know why I'm suffering so much with it right now.

Because you are letting yourself suffer.

People always imagine the worst when it comes to something, especially when it evokes emotions they don't like. And 99.9% of the time the worst NEVER happens. I have been guilty of this many a time. Even for simple things.

Talk to them. Tell them how you feel. It will make you feel better. It will make them feel better.

Nobody is a mind reader.

I need them, and I detest my neediness. I try not to bug them because I just know one day they're going to get sick of me clinging and scream, "Go AWAY already!"

Do you really know this would happen or is this just the worst thing that might (but probably won't) happen that you have transfixed on?

I'm sure that would not happen if you talk to them. Your mind is just fixating on the worst case scenario and preventing you from getting the relief and reassurance you need.

If they care and love you then that will NEVER happen. If it does then your relationship was fake and the feelings they had for you were fake too.

Now, do you really think that is the case?

Just talk to them. As has been said many times before in this thread, communicate, communicate, communicate.

 

[BiBunny]

Thanks, everyone. I feel better today, and your words definitely helped. I appreciate y'all being so nice to me.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

The previous posts helped me a lot too.

Communication is hard for me, but i have it so much better when i do.

And you are all correct. Distance...10 hours or 100...it doesn't matter.