Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Homburg]

In a conversation with MIS, I told her that she might want to talk to her folks about the actual day we move her down here. The words I used were: "Your parents can handle things one of two ways. They can send you off, or they can drive you off. Their choice." The intent was to get them to realise that sending her off was preferable. She said basically the same thing to her father and it seemed to have the appropriate impact.

I'll let you know if it worked when she moves out.

 

[the captians wench]

the red tape is loads of fun isn't it? my mom is not trying to be nice about it, she has told me that she doesn't want any of my extended family (grandmother, aunts, uncles etc) to know that i am moving in with "some guy you picked up off the internet* or that i got a divorce. my personal favorite is that He will leave me in a few years because i am 4 years older than Him and He won't stay. my poor Master is coming to the US to pick me up for the move, because my son and brothers want to meet Him first, He has to meet my mom too. i have told her to behave but with her i never know. Then she uses her good ol back up...i can't believe you are leaving your son. (this one actually hurts bad)

Thankfully, when my ex decided to tell his family i was into BDSM he did not tell my family too...i was horrified when his sister called me to tell me it was "okay, cause she likes BDSM too" i almost choked to death.

i am sorry that your mom is being rough on you, but it sounds like you have done your homework and even though they think we are living in some kind of dream world, we know it will take some adjustment but will be sooooooo worth it. Thanks so much for sharing your story...it helps to know i am not alone. *hugs*

Things really aren't so bad with my mom. We have a very....unusual relationship. Besides that, Jounar and I have been together for 3 and a half years now so there's been a lot of time to get her used to the idea. And she is coming around. Even more so since I've visited him, and spent a few days with his mom and dad while I was there.

My mom knows everything about my relationship, dynamic and all. Some of my family know more than others. I used to wear a dog collar all of the time that said "if found please return to Ireland". Jounar made me take it off when I was boarding my first plain, he said he didn't want me to run into any unnessisary problems. I didn't wear it at all while I was there, and I've only worn it once or twice since I've been back, but it used to be a very obvious part of my wardrobe. Some people understood what it ment, some didn't.

Most of my family have now heard that I've been to Ireland, and because I can not lie at all they know my reason behind it was "to meet some man I met online". While they don't understand that, they do see how I beam when I talk about my trip or even just him, so they took the condicending remarks down a bit. Tho they do still try to set me up from time to time.

So I can't really complain too much. I'm very lucky.

 

[Bandit58]

My mother wasn't happy with me moving, and I was 45 at the time! Having cared for my father since 1981 she was not happy when she heard about Sir's health problems either - in fact we had a very nasty fight about it.

She has come around thank goodness, and we have a pretty good relationship now albeit we are in different countries - I love my mother but she has her own happy little world and does not know the type of relationship Sir and I have or that I'm bi. I have not been back for 4 years and can't see me going back unless there's an emergency, because Sir needs me here (He would say He could go back to dialysing in hospital if it came to the crunch, but He's so much better at home).

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I've been really lucky on the homefront. My parents are very open, always have been, so they know that I am a slave and are encouraging me to do what I have to do to get to Master permanently where, as my father was quick to say today when I called for his birthday, "...your ass belongs anyway. Damn shame for a man to own a woman and he doesn't even have her around when he wants her."

Yep. I'm real lucky

 

[sinnocence]

I've been really lucky on the homefront. My parents are very open, always have been, so they know that I am a slave and are encouraging me to do what I have to do to get to Master permanently where, as my father was quick to say today when I called for his birthday, "...your ass belongs anyway. Damn shame for a man to own a woman and he doesn't even have her around when he wants her."

Yep. I'm real lucky

Man, you are! I wish my parents were like that...especially my dad.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Man, you are! I wish my parents were like that...especially my dad.

I guess I should explain that I grew up in a rather open household- nothing was taboo- and my brother and I were raised that we could talk to our parents about anything.

I know that a lot of parents say that to their children, but mine honestly meant it. To this day I can tell my parents some of the damndest things and not worry about them cringing on me.

I bet not many girls have ever had their dad call them and tell them about the "best piece of ass he's ever had..."

 

[mistyrydher]

I've been really lucky on the homefront. My parents are very open, always have been, so they know that I am a slave and are encouraging me to do what I have to do to get to Master permanently where, as my father was quick to say today when I called for his birthday, "...your ass belongs anyway. Damn shame for a man to own a woman and he doesn't even have her around when he wants her."

Yep. I'm real lucky

you are very lucky! best of luck getting to your Master!


i wish to thank all of you for sharing your stories and your advice, it means so much to know i am not alone, though i would like to switch moms with some of you *giggles* i think her biggest problem has been that she has always been able to control me...mainly through guilt, it is not working this time and she doesn't know what to do, i am hoping she will be okay once she meets Master...i think His Kiwi accent will win her over LOL as for my dad, he follows mom's lead *rolls eyes*

 

[kittenartist]

I guess I should explain that I grew up in a rather open household- nothing was taboo- and my brother and I were raised that we could talk to our parents about anything.

I know that a lot of parents say that to their children, but mine honestly meant it. To this day I can tell my parents some of the damndest things and not worry about them cringing on me.

I bet not many girls have ever had their dad call them and tell them about the "best piece of ass he's ever had..."

Sister?!

Heh, seriously, I grew up in a very similar home. My mom is extremely open about everything from sex and beyond. Just today she was trying to get me to spill the beans about the kinky things I have planned for this weekend. And trying to find out exactly what kinks I enjoy... I usually want to shock her but today she seemed so interested that I could not bring myself to share. Well, I shared a little... *laughs*

 

[twiggy_the_spider]

My mum always says 'well, I don't understand this internet stuff very well but he seems a decent man' which from my mum is quite close to approval as shes not prone to being super glowingly positive about such things. I can understand why she would be paranoid to be honest, she works in child protection and her introduction to people talking over the internet has been very much from the point of view of the potential risk to the child. This thread is actually making me realise that Scotland to London isnt all that far and Im quite lucky in a way.
(Seeing him on Tuesday, eeeeee!)

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Sister?!

Heh, seriously, I grew up in a very similar home. My mom is extremely open about everything from sex and beyond. Just today she was trying to get me to spill the beans about the kinky things I have planned for this weekend. And trying to find out exactly what kinks I enjoy... I usually want to shock her but today she seemed so interested that I could not bring myself to share. Well, I shared a little... *laughs*

I think my mom wishes I would share those details but there are some things that I think are best left in private

you are very lucky! best of luck getting to your Master!


i wish to thank all of you for sharing your stories and your advice, it means so much to know i am not alone, though i would like to switch moms with some of you *giggles* i think her biggest problem has been that she has always been able to control me...mainly through guilt, it is not working this time and she doesn't know what to do, i am hoping she will be okay once she meets Master...i think His Kiwi accent will win her over LOL as for my dad, he follows mom's lead *rolls eyes*

Thanks misty! And no, you aren't alone. We have all been where you are in some way or another and this thread helps a whole lot when you're down and just need the support of those who understand- heaven knows I've used my friends here for that a time or two

 

[myinnerslut]

m parents would flip out if i tried to share information like that.

hell, when i told my mom i was a masochist, she cried

 

[ecstaticsub]

m parents would flip out if i tried to share information like that.

hell, when i told my mom i was a masochist, she cried

There is no way I would ever tell my mother anything about my D/s relationship. Though I think she would be ok with it if my Dominant were my husband. The fact that I am having a sexual and emotional relationship with a married man would totally send her over the edge. It wouldn't matter that everyone involved is ok with it. I honestly think she would never speak to me again if she found out I was having an "affair" (as she would call it)

 

[kittenartist]

There is no way I would ever tell my mother anything about my D/s relationship. Though I think she would be ok with it if my Dominant were my husband. The fact that I am having a sexual and emotional relationship with a married man would totally send her over the edge. It wouldn't matter that everyone involved is ok with it. I honestly think she would never speak to me again if she found out I was having an "affair" (as she would call it)

My grandma is like that... When she found out I was "cheating" on my exhusband (we had a poly household) she said stuff about expecting better than that from me and she was so disappointed I was a "whore". Thanks granny

But my mom is fun. My mom has been known to have five boyfriends at a time... I just one up her by being honest with all my boys. But the day we had the talk about erotic choking... priceless. The dead awkward silence. And the thirty seconds later we were back to good.

 

[the captians wench]

There is no way I would ever tell my mother anything about my D/s relationship. Though I think she would be ok with it if my Dominant were my husband. The fact that I am having a sexual and emotional relationship with a married man would totally send her over the edge. It wouldn't matter that everyone involved is ok with it. I honestly think she would never speak to me again if she found out I was having an "affair" (as she would call it)

I think I'm currupting my mother. I've always told her everything, well at least as much as she can handle, and I let her decide what she can and what she can't. We have a rule, she doesn't ask a question that she really doesn't want an answer to, and when I think she's close to asking one, I give her a warning, "do you really want me to answer?". Then she decides how much curiousity wins out.

I'm pretty much that way with every one, with a few exceptions. My mom has known all along about the dynamic of Jounar and my relationship, she's also known about the playmates I've had here including the couple that adopted me as a pet for a time. My brother has paid witness to a very slight, perhaps tame even, view of my lifestyle (his wife is very curious). However I do remember one lunch with him and my mother where I realized his limits were very short of my mom's.

Mom and I were talking about the male part of said couple for one reason or another and my brother interupted. "Is this the Irish guy"
I scrunched my face, "Well no he's not"
"But he's your boyfriend"
I kind of sinckered at the word boyfriend, "yeah, kinda"
My brother took on a very confused look "What happened to the Irish guy"
"Oh I'm still with him"
More confusion clouding my brother's face, "So you have two?"
a sheepish look took mine over, "well, yeah...and a couple I see on the side, but they're not serious"
At this point he gives me a very diaproving look and so I am quick to recover, "But it's okay they all know about each other and every one is fine with it."
I can't discribe the vast number of emotions that flooded his face all at once. Confustion, doubt, disgust, curiousity, and so many more, until he finally shrugged and gave out a small huff. We then knew the conversation was over and he'd dropped it as just another thing his quarky sister was into that he didn't need to know about.

My mom and I mused later over the shades his face would have turned before his head exploded if I had added that my then primary state side guy was married and his wife and I were on friendly terms. *giggles*

 

[Homburg]

It has been an amazing year. Very difficult at times, but also eminently worthwhile.

My thanks to the two women who make me so happy.



And to MIS, Happy Anniversary, kitten.

 

[myinnerslut]

happy one year anniversary Master.



i really have to hand it to anybody who does this LDR stuff for years at a time. im moving soon and if i werent id be going nuts.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Well, for me, it's a choice of doing it, or else giving up Sir. And no f'ing way will i do that! i know what i need.

Yes the distance gets to me more and more. But i do know He cares for me too.

Right now He is not well and there is nothing i can do...except what i am supposed to do as His submissive.

Hugs to all...i know how difficult it can be.

 

[Homburg]

As an aside, I've made a conscious effort to keep sappy PDA's to a minimum here. They annoy me too when they get excessive. In this case, it seemed proper, if only because it might be heartening to see another LDR last to an anniversary like this. I know I took a lot of heart from EcstaticSub, Captains Wench, and EmpressFi's post on the length of their LDR's. It can work. It just takes work.

 

[the captians wench]

I fear some times that I'm getting too comfortable with the distance. But then I know, if there were any way I could move there, I'd be on the next flight over. *sigh*

 

[Homburg]

I fear some times that I'm getting too comfortable with the distance. But then I know, if there were any way I could move there, I'd be on the next flight over. *sigh*

Humans can adapt to damned near anything that isn't fatal if they want it bad enough. You aren't resigning yourself to it, just figuring out how to cope for now.

 

[the captians wench]

As an aside, I've made a conscious effort to keep sappy PDA's to a minimum here. They annoy me too when they get excessive. In this case, it seemed proper, if only because it might be heartening to see another LDR last to an anniversary like this. I know I took a lot of heart from EcstaticSub, Captains Wench, and EmpressFi's post on the length of their LDR's. It can work. It just takes work.

It's very heart warming to know that my random ramblings have had some effect other than proving that I'm a scatter brain.

Humans can adapt to damned near anything that isn't fatal if they want it bad enough. You aren't resigning yourself to it, just figuring out how to cope for now.

I know, I'm just being a little melodramatic right now. I'm still not sure if I will be able to make my trip or not, and it's still too soon to really ask him too much about it. I just hate being so unsure. I can't make a plan, and I just don't know how to function if I don't have a plan!

 

[Homburg]

It's very heart warming to know that my random ramblings have had some effect other than proving that I'm a scatter brain.

Absolutely. Consider yourself helpful.

I know, I'm just being a little melodramatic right now. I'm still not sure if I will be able to make my trip or not, and it's still too soon to really ask him too much about it. I just hate being so unsure. I can't make a plan, and I just don't know how to function if I don't have a plan!

I know that feeling all too well.

 

[ecstaticsub]

The distance almost brought our relationship to an end last week.

I won't go into all the not so pretty details of why it almost ended, because most important is that it didn't end.

After all the tears, the heated discussions, the mutual frustration was that we had faith in each other. Faith in each other's commitment to our relationship. We won't ever live with each other, or even too much closer. We are happily married and in love with our vanilla spouses and that will never change.

I have to learn to simply accept the realities, balance my priorities and remember the basics of my D/s relationship. For those times when I think I can't go on without physically being held by Daddy i just have to get creative.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

ES...i am sorry you went through that. That had to be really tough on you.

But it goes to show that it is very hard, but worth it. i hate the distance between me and Sir too...and hope it will change, but now it is difficult. It helps me to read all of your experiences here...all of you, thank you.

Hugs.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Just checking in here. Sir and I are about to celebrate a year and half.

ES- I am sorry you two are struggling.. {{{HUGS}}}}}