Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Adakgirl]

hummmm wonder what made me think u were going to be there now? Sorry my mistake.

 

[krym]

hi, i just had to say i find this thread interesting. many people i have talked to in reality bdsm think online submission is a joke. well, in two weeks time or so (give or take a day or two) i will be kneeling before my Master. we met three years ago online and have been head over heels for each other ever since. we both are married and that puts another interesting turn into the mix making it very possible that we will be more or less long distance poly. LOL

anyhow, i just wanted to say hello and that i've enjoyed reading on this thread. thank you.

 

[Adakgirl]

I can understand why they think that because they are able to live it with full contact and face to face. It is not the same at all. It has never been necessary for them to experience relationships of this kind on-line. So it is understandable that they see them like that.
But just because they do...does not make on-line D/s M/s LDR's any less "real" to those of us who are in them and to those of us who started on-line and ended up being together in real life.

We who are on-line realize it is not the same at all. We are not claiming it is the same or trying to make others accept it as the same kind of relationship. But it is real and it is valid to us. On-line D/s LDR's are possible and there is plenty of proof of that in this thread alone.

People need to try and understand that on-line Domination/submission is here to stay and hundreds of thousands of people do it everyday, some keep these relationships on-line for many years, some never meet some meet and it doesn't work out, some meet and spend the rest of their lives together.

What other people think about the manner in which I submit to a Dominant is not my concern nor is it the concern of my Dominant. All of us want to have our needs met so we can feel happy and fulfilled. If on-line is the only way we can do that, then that is our choice to make.

If you can be together then all the more power to you, that's wonderful, it's great, the physicality of it just makes it so so much better, makes the relationship complete. If you can't for some reason then you just work with what you have and try to make it as meaningful as you possibly can.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Greetings and welcome noangel1. When I say "home" I mean he is back at his home...just to clarify.
Oh....I think he may be letting me THINK I was manipulating him. Actually, I called it manipulation but it was more baiting for a reaction. It was definitely pushing him for info though.


Kaykat should be f2f with her MasterPhoenix right now

and

innerslut should be f2f with her Master Homberg right now

did I miss anyone?

I'll be home with my Master Friday night

 

[Sexualinnocent]

When you love your Dom/me, and you live far away (a full day's drive) then online is the only option.

Would i like to be f2f more? Ya damn betcha... but i can't right now, so IM, email, the cam and phone calls are the way to go. i do get to see Him in person as much as it is possible.

i don't worry about whether people think it is an ok relationship...it is to U/us. (sorry, Sir likes the protocol of slashes). And that is all that matters, what you and yours like and do.

 

[Adakgirl]

Horray and good for you Nala! I am so happy for you! I know you can barely stand to wait!


I burst into tears last night when Master spent less than an hour with me and then suddenly said he had to get to bed. He normally tells me at the start of a convo if he won't be able to stay on very long. The night before he was exhausted and so only spent a short time with me then too.

It is my own fault for getting upset, I expected him to spend extra time with me and expected him to give me extra attention because he was away so long and will be going back again in a few days. I had carefully prepared for him last night because of my own expectations.

If one has no such expectations one will not be so disappointed when they do not happen eh? If one does not make assumptions then one does not make an ass out of oneself.

He told me last night before he left that he would chat with me tonight, but then sent me an e-mail saying he wouldn't be on tonight. So again I was disappointed because I expected him to do what he said he would do.

Now I have given it some thought, I have decided that there is nothing wrong with having expectations of him. I do expect certain things from him just as he expects certain things of me.
I think I just figured out where I my thinking went wrong..

I assume he knows what I expect from him and I assume he will always do his best to meet my expectations. Yet I get upset with him when he can't.


..I know what he expects from me and he assumes rightly that I will always do my very best to meet his expectations. Yet he does not get upset with me when I can't.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Thank you Adakgirl. To put it oddly and in a way that I told both Master and MIS, I am so excited I could pee Champagne Imagine that one!

I am sorry you were disappointed with the time your Master spent with you. It happens to all of us. I know that there have been a few times, not too many though, that I have expected that I would at least talk to Master before I went to sleep (like last night) but instead got a text that said he was tired and going to bed early- he did tell me that he loved me though (as he does every nnight whether we talk or not) which didn't make my night as disappointing.

I remember Master asking me when he first claimed me, what expectations I had of him. I also remember telling him none, thinking that I shouldn't expect anything from him, then realizing (and telling him so) that I did expect things from him. His response was that it's not wrongto expect things from him and I am saying the same thing to you.

You do however have to say something to him (which I am learning...still) because while we have good Masters that are loving and kind and patient, they are not mind readers and don't know what we expect, or want, if we don't say something. Some of us even have to tell our Masters what we need...thankfully enough, I don't have that problem...yet and still, you have to tell him what you are thinking.

Horray and good for you Nala! I am so happy for you! I know you can barely stand to wait!


I burst into tears last night when Master spent less than an hour with me and then suddenly said he had to get to bed. He normally tells me at the start of a convo if he won't be able to stay on very long. The night before he was exhausted and so only spent a short time with me then too.

It is my own fault for getting upset, I expected him to spend extra time with me and expected him to give me extra attention because he was away so long and will be going back again in a few days. I had carefully prepared for him last night because of my own expectations.

If one has no such expectations one will not be so disappointed when they do not happen eh? If one does not make assumptions then one does not make an ass out of oneself.

He told me last night before he left that he would chat with me tonight, but then sent me an e-mail saying he wouldn't be on tonight. So again I was disappointed because I expected him to do what he said he would do.

Now I have given it some thought, I have decided that there is nothing wrong with having expectations of him. I do expect certain things from him just as he expects certain things of me.
I think I just figured out where I my thinking went wrong..

I assume he knows what I expect from him and I assume he will always do his best to meet my expectations. Yet I get upset with him when he can't.


..I know what he expects from me and he assumes rightly that I will always do my very best to meet his expectations. Yet he does not get upset with me when I can't.

 

[the captians wench]

Horray and good for you Nala! I am so happy for you! I know you can barely stand to wait!


I burst into tears last night when Master spent less than an hour with me and then suddenly said he had to get to bed. He normally tells me at the start of a convo if he won't be able to stay on very long. The night before he was exhausted and so only spent a short time with me then too.

It is my own fault for getting upset, I expected him to spend extra time with me and expected him to give me extra attention because he was away so long and will be going back again in a few days. I had carefully prepared for him last night because of my own expectations.

If one has no such expectations one will not be so disappointed when they do not happen eh? If one does not make assumptions then one does not make an ass out of oneself.

He told me last night before he left that he would chat with me tonight, but then sent me an e-mail saying he wouldn't be on tonight. So again I was disappointed because I expected him to do what he said he would do.

Now I have given it some thought, I have decided that there is nothing wrong with having expectations of him. I do expect certain things from him just as he expects certain things of me.
I think I just figured out where I my thinking went wrong..

I assume he knows what I expect from him and I assume he will always do his best to meet my expectations. Yet I get upset with him when he can't.


..I know what he expects from me and he assumes rightly that I will always do my very best to meet his expectations. Yet he does not get upset with me when I can't.

I know what you mean. I know it's a trap I've fallen into before.

I make no doubts about my needy ways, but some times I don't express what those needs are. I just expect people to know, and to do what I expect with out having to tell them. Well that's just stupid, and I'm not as bad about it anymore. I think at first I was a bit embarrassed about what I need, I didn't wan tot have to say it out loud.





Right now I'm feeling very spoiled. Jounar and I have had some sort of contact every day since last saturday. This never happens with us, not this long a stretch. He has a new phone and apearently it texts me better than his old phone did.

I've been sick all week and he hasn't missed a single morning to tell me he loves me and hopes I feel better, checking on my progress. It just makes me feel so good to get those little texts out of no where.

 

[myinnerslut]

I know what you mean. I know it's a trap I've fallen into before.

I make no doubts about my needy ways, but some times I don't express what those needs are. I just expect people to know, and to do what I expect with out having to tell them. Well that's just stupid, and I'm not as bad about it anymore. I think at first I was a bit embarrassed about what I need, I didn't wan tot have to say it out loud.





Right now I'm feeling very spoiled. Jounar and I have had some sort of contact every day since last saturday. This never happens with us, not this long a stretch. He has a new phone and apearently it texts me better than his old phone did.

I've been sick all week and he hasn't missed a single morning to tell me he loves me and hopes I feel better, checking on my progress. It just makes me feel so good to get those little texts out of no where.

texting in magical. it really is.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I am sure I would go completely gaga without the joy of surprise texts. Lets me know he thinks about me as often as I think about him.

 

[ihavehope444]

I'm with you. Some of the slang gets a bit tiresome. I have to divert my attention and find out somehow and go back. Very distracting.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Just ordered some things for her to have when she gets here.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

texting in magical. it really is.

*raises hand* I second this motion.

I LOVE getting texts from Master even if he's just letting me know what's going on in his day.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

*raises hand* I second this motion.

I LOVE getting texts from Master even if he's just letting me know what's going on in his day.

Me too....

Oh you lucky girl Nala, you have 28 days? I cannot imagine how good that is going to feel.

Have a wonderful time

 

[Homburg]

texting is magical. it really is.

Not any more.

So I have a cell phone through work. It's an unlimited plan, and my boss plainly told me "You can use it for personal use. Don't worry," as I was previously using my own phone and getting reimbursed. Five months later, I get griped at by my boss because someone at home office looked at my cell phone bills and was pissed that there were texting charges on there. The fuck? I was told it was unlimited.

He asked me if it was business related. I said some of it was, but most was personal use. Because, y'know, they told me I could use it for personal use. Well, I no longer have text capability on my phone, yay.

 

[the captians wench]

We may have a snag.

 

[KayKat]

Just ordered some things for her to have when she gets here.

And they are all great things Master..

I am so excited!

 

[Homburg]

We may have a snag.

Aroo? I dislike that word "snag."

 

[the captians wench]

Aroo? I dislike that word "snag."

Me too.

It's still too early to know for sure, and so logically I keep telling myself I shouldn't let it upset me so much, but I can't help it. I even opted to stay home and mope tonight insted of dragging my mom out to some store some where to wait for Twilight to go on sale like we had planned. I think it's best I go with it and get it out of my system so I don't keep it bottled up and spend the next 2 months fretting and worrying about it and just generally being depressed.

It boils down to another family obligation. There is a chance that things will go better than expected and I'll be able to go still. And there is also a chance that things will go well enough that I can convince him to let me come, even if he can't devote all of his time to me. But right now all I can think about is that there is a good chance I'll have to wait 6 months insted of 2 before I can see him again.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Oh wenchie, i am so sorry to hear that and hope it works out in your favor.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Me too.

It's still too early to know for sure, and so logically I keep telling myself I shouldn't let it upset me so much, but I can't help it. I even opted to stay home and mope tonight insted of dragging my mom out to some store some where to wait for Twilight to go on sale like we had planned. I think it's best I go with it and get it out of my system so I don't keep it bottled up and spend the next 2 months fretting and worrying about it and just generally being depressed.

It boils down to another family obligation. There is a chance that things will go better than expected and I'll be able to go still. And there is also a chance that things will go well enough that I can convince him to let me come, even if he can't devote all of his time to me. But right now all I can think about is that there is a good chance I'll have to wait 6 months insted of 2 before I can see him again.

As much fun as it is devoting all your time to each other on a visit, and all that, I think you should still be able to visit. Time of crisis, when things aren't going fabulously, are going to occur when you're there for good. I know that situation puts a dampener on things when you've only got a short visit, but it gives you another way to show how you'll be there to support him when things hit the shit. And all that.

I'm kinda fuzzy, and rambling completely ineloquently, but I hope you know what I mean.



I hope it all works out for the best. Both your visit, and whatever is going on for him.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

We may have a snag.

Oh hell fire, I hope not luvvie, thats not a good snag to hit. I hope you can still go, there are times when as Lizzie said, all you can do is support, and the best support IMO is to be there, I hope that all sides can see that. I have my fingers crossed for you, and anything I can cross at the same time you let me know.....may be a bit awkward to walk but hey ho, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[the captians wench]

Oh wenchie, i am so sorry to hear that and hope it works out in your favor.

As much fun as it is devoting all your time to each other on a visit, and all that, I think you should still be able to visit. Time of crisis, when things aren't going fabulously, are going to occur when you're there for good. I know that situation puts a dampener on things when you've only got a short visit, but it gives you another way to show how you'll be there to support him when things hit the shit. And all that.

I'm kinda fuzzy, and rambling completely ineloquently, but I hope you know what I mean.



I hope it all works out for the best. Both your visit, and whatever is going on for him.

Oh hell fire, I hope not luvvie, thats not a good snag to hit. I hope you can still go, there are times when as Lizzie said, all you can do is support, and the best support IMO is to be there, I hope that all sides can see that. I have my fingers crossed for you, and anything I can cross at the same time you let me know.....may be a bit awkward to walk but hey ho, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Thanks guys.

I'm done moping now so I can think clearly and optomistically. Right now it's just a waiting game, I have to see how things go next week and over the next month.

I know he wants me there, but he sees this as the best way to handle the situtation. Right now is not the time to fight him on that, but if things go well, I will express my desires to be that support and just be there where there is the option that he can spend time with me. I think we can work something out, but some things have to happen first, and I don't want him to feel any guilt over choosing to be with his family right now.

I just had to get past the disapointment first, otherwize I would let that cloud my judgement and depress me the next few weeks.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Well, I know I am relatively new to the thread, but, with all I have read, and heard on here while being here and lurking, I know everyone will be here with any support and words we can think of. I'll continue to cross everything for you luvvie.



(like I need to tell you the first part of that post )

 

[KayKat]

AM thinking of you wenchie..I hope that you will get to go ahead with the visit..Sending you **HUGS** and