Distance Domination-Support Thread

[minx1]

I am very proud really. And I'm actually glad that my past came out. I have a lot of issues that I've just been avoiding and burrying, and it feels good to tackle some of them.

Yeah good for you hon, sounds like you are pretty sorted and thanks for answering my nosey question. Its good to hear how you deal with having a playmate/s

 

[myinnerslut]

*giggles*

It was hard for me starting out with the idea that any free man was master. And I think those teachings lead me astray a bit as well. But eventually those that taught me these things realized they needed to teach me not every man was a free man and deserved the tital master. It's funny some times the things we have to learn. But to gorean slaves that little my makes all the difference in the world. And tho I don't claim to be gorean, I have to admit most of my real time experience has been gorean based so I lean kinda heavy there. I'm just not real big on the role play stuff my gorean friends are. *shrug*

i have to admit, the gorean stuff confuses me a bit

 

[the captians wench]

i have to admit, the gorean stuff confuses me a bit

well I'm no expert, but I'd be happy to answer any questions I can.

 

[intothewoods]

Note to self: next time, ask what day he's coming back.

 

[minx1]

Note to self: next time, ask what day he's coming back.

Oh no did you get your days mixed up?

 

[intothewoods]

Oh no did you get your days mixed up?

We didn't discuss the day he was coming back, just that he'd be gone a week. And I thought he was coming back today, but he did actually leave last Sunday, so I guess it's tomorrow. Last week, I just wasn't focused on it. Oh well.

 

[the captians wench]

We didn't discuss the day he was coming back, just that he'd be gone a week. And I thought he was coming back today, but he did actually leave last Sunday, so I guess it's tomorrow. Last week, I just wasn't focused on it. Oh well.

I know what you mean hun. Tho I don't usually get any warning.

Oh well, if he were perfect he wouldn't have been born so far away from me in the first place.

 

[Bandit58]

A question I think everyone should think about

Those of you planning to relocate/move in with your online partner: There's a BIG difference between the short visits you have now and actually living full time with someone.

Those short visits are all happy and giddy and exciting - virtually full time play in some cases. Have you thought about the mundane day-to-day realities that you'll have to face when online becomes an actual full time real time relationship?

Master Gil and I have been together for just over 3 years now. Ours is probably a different scenario because of His health, but there are times when playtime isn't on the agenda, when I spend a day looking after Him intensely because He isn't well, plans have had to be changed at the last minute, and we spend a lot of time at hospital, doctors and clinics. Plus there was the way He likes things done vs the way I have always done things - doing laundry for example. He likes things pegged differently to the way I do it, and when it's brought in it should be folded before putting in the basket. Little things, but it can be frustrating

I know it's the same in every relationship when people move in together, but I've been reading through the posts here and it seems some of you are in the giddy heights of "sub fever" and I just wanted to bring in a dose of reality!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

A question I think everyone should think about

Those of you planning to relocate/move in with your online partner: There's a BIG difference between the short visits you have now and actually living full time with someone.

Those short visits are all happy and giddy and exciting - virtually full time play in some cases. Have you thought about the mundane day-to-day realities that you'll have to face when online becomes an actual full time real time relationship?

Master Gil and I have been together for just over 3 years now. Ours is probably a different scenario because of His health, but there are times when playtime isn't on the agenda, when I spend a day looking after Him intensely because He isn't well, plans have had to be changed at the last minute, and we spend a lot of time at hospital, doctors and clinics. Plus there was the way He likes things done vs the way I have always done things - doing laundry for example. He likes things pegged differently to the way I do it, and when it's brought in it should be folded before putting in the basket. Little things, but it can be frustrating

I know it's the same in every relationship when people move in together, but I've been reading through the posts here and it seems some of you are in the giddy heights of "sub fever" and I just wanted to bring in a dose of reality!

i am well aware of the 'reality' of living it 24/7, and i don't think it's different because it's D/s ..it will happen in ANY relationship, even 'nilla ones. but we live it pretty much 24/7 now ..just 2000 miles apart. i'm not sure how you could go into it NOT knowing there is going to be the 'mundane' things along with the play. and the times that Master and i have met face to face, it's not ALL been play, we've had to deal with 'real life' issues as well, but we've also been together for almost 4 years.....

 

[intothewoods]

A question I think everyone should think about

Those of you planning to relocate/move in with your online partner: There's a BIG difference between the short visits you have now and actually living full time with someone.

Hmm...I could be wrong, but I didn't think most of the people on this thread had even expressed their future intentions. Frankly, there are quite a few younguns in this thread, and I don't think they need a talking to about living together. They'll find out when they find out. <shrug>

In fact, the only couple I can think of that said they had planned on becoming 24/7 is rose and Phoenix. I agree, things will be different, but I haven't been on these boards that long and I've read about umpteen million warnings to them. Even I'm over it at this point.

 

[shy slave]

A question I think everyone should think about

Those of you planning to relocate/move in with your online partner: There's a BIG difference between the short visits you have now and actually living full time with someone.

Those short visits are all happy and giddy and exciting - virtually full time play in some cases. Have you thought about the mundane day-to-day realities that you'll have to face when online becomes an actual full time real time relationship?

Master Gil and I have been together for just over 3 years now. Ours is probably a different scenario because of His health, but there are times when playtime isn't on the agenda, when I spend a day looking after Him intensely because He isn't well, plans have had to be changed at the last minute, and we spend a lot of time at hospital, doctors and clinics. Plus there was the way He likes things done vs the way I have always done things - doing laundry for example. He likes things pegged differently to the way I do it, and when it's brought in it should be folded before putting in the basket. Little things, but it can be frustrating

I know it's the same in every relationship when people move in together, but I've been reading through the posts here and it seems some of you are in the giddy heights of "sub fever" and I just wanted to bring in a dose of reality!

Bandit This is a really good point to make.

I rarely post in this thread because of the 'dizzy heights stuff' and other things drives me crazy and brings out the bitch in me.

Andante and I plan to live together 24/7 and even those short visits are not all happy play. He has to work, which means I have 10 hours each day on my own. I have to start to figure out a different language, a different way of shopping, a different side of the road to drive on... none of those things are about him and he has no control over them. They are about the way things are where he lives. To give an example of the small frustrations, I plan to cook a meal, head for the supermarket and I either can't find the ingredients I want or they are not in the shop, they don't exist.

Small things can leave me anxious, worried, irritated and wondering if I am crazy to take on a different way of life just for him.

None of those things change the fact that I want to live with him 24/7. I am going into this with my eyes as wide open as they can be at this stage. I am sure there will be other pressures when I get there, but I know he will support me through them.

It is difficult to explain how it is when I go to him. He cannot see the issues in the same way, because it is his home and he is used to it all.

Like you, I have been married before. Like you, they were not D/s; but many of the issues concerned with getting used to living each other are similar.
In some ways I hope D/s will be less stressful. Andante is not interested in micro-management but I am hoping that when I hit a mental block or am finding something a struggle he will make the decision for me which will allow me to re-focus and continue forward. I am not talking D/s things but ordinary life things such as work permits etc.

Andante and I have never made a secret of our intention to live together 24/7; but we have never been given warnings over the issue. People have told us how it has worked for them and the pitfalls they have found. All those posts have been useful and helpful. No-one has said we will find the same issues difficult or suggested we are making an error by trying. Reading how other people have coped and the small things that they struggled with whether it has been missing family or hanging out the washing have all been useful and given Andante and I a great deal to talk over and consider.
It has given us even more opportunity to communicate, whether it be to acknowledge something that won't be an issue or something that may become one.

I have been over to see him and, due to his shift work, spent too long alone becoming bored, upset and low.
Those times are not easy for either of us, I have started to make a network of friends over there but had it all been happy play time and little else I would have not discovered I needed more until my boxes were being unpacked.

Each to their own, but I prefer it when people do offer up how things have been for them, if nothing else it gives me things to mull over, consider and try to work out how that relates to our situation.

Bandits post is just like those which speak of SSC or RACK and give examples of when it is difficult or the line blurs.

 

[shy slave]

Hmm...I could be wrong, but I didn't think most of the people on this thread had even expressed their future intentions. Frankly, there are quite a few younguns in this thread, and I don't think they need a talking to about living together. They'll find out when they find out. <shrug>

In fact, the only couple I can think of that said they had planned on becoming 24/7 is rose and Phoenix. I agree, things will be different, but I haven't been on these boards that long and I've read about umpteen million warnings to them. Even I'm over it at this point.

I don't see age has a great deal to do with anything.

Young or old, if people want to live together they will move forward in that direction.

If they are just playing at LDR or D/s it is unlikely to last the distance and difficulties, age has nothing to do with it.

I can't see why you would go through the hard work of LDR if the intention is not to be together, it would be far more simple to find someone closer to home.

 

[myinnerslut]

im 19 and in love. A and i are both in school (im halfway through and he is almost finished) , and have things in the way of us living together. when it comes to marraige or living together, we know its a possibility in the future but choose not to talk about it now.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*shrugs* i just don't understand why so many think that because you're LDR at the moment, that you don't think things will be different in the future when you are living together 24/7. i don't think anyone who is in an LDR that plans on eventually living together thinks that everything is ALWAYS going to be fun and games and constant 'play'. as i said, even the times Master and i have visited, it's not been all about play. plans got broken a few times because of circumstances out of our control. we've been cranky at each other just as any couple living together 24/7 would be.

i think it's just common sense to know that it's going to be different living together, than it is during 'visits', but as i said in an earlier post it's no different than a 'nilla relationship when the couple decides to move in together. i just dont' understand why so many people feel the need to remind people in an LDR that living together is 'different' than not living together.....and i'm not trying to be bitchy, it just gets really old hearing about how different it's going to be. and bandit, this is really NOT directed at you, honestly. it just feels like those who live together always feel like we don't know what we're getting into.....my eyes are wide open, and we've been together for almost 4 years, so i pretty much DO know what to expect and what is expected of me.

bandit, you brought up good points, and thank you for sharing your experience i think that's the best way to learn

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Crap, I have a lot to do to get ready.... and only 51 days till I get there....

Oh well...

Plane ticket 181.10 at travelocity.com
motel room one week 160
flogger 15 at Spencer's
The sight of a well beaten submissive... Priceless

 

[the captians wench]

im 19 and in love. A and i are both in school (im halfway through and he is almost finished) , and have things in the way of us living together. when it comes to marraige or living together, we know its a possibility in the future but choose not to talk about it now.

This is sort of the aproach Jounar and I take. At the moment we just don't talk about it in terms of reality. It would take a lot of work and a lot of time for me to be able to live over there, and to work over there would be nearly impossible.

And I've been married before, I remember what it's like when you argue over what tooth paste to buy (until it finally hits you 3 months later you can just buy both. ). I remember being hot and ready for sex and he just not interested. I remember my constant want to be close to him and his need for some space. I know what it's like to live with some one you love, Jounar has never been married, and I've never asked if he's ever had a live in.

It's not a subject he's really ready to talk about and not one I'm willing to persue seeing as I haven't even gotten a first visit yet. We do dream about it and talk about how wonderful it would be, but as for serious talk not much more than what it's like trying to get a work permit over there. I'm not sure I'm ready for that either, not yet anyway.

 

[minx1]

A question I think everyone should think about

Those of you planning to relocate/move in with your online partner: There's a BIG difference between the short visits you have now and actually living full time with someone.

Those short visits are all happy and giddy and exciting - virtually full time play in some cases. Have you thought about the mundane day-to-day realities that you'll have to face when online becomes an actual full time real time relationship?

Master Gil and I have been together for just over 3 years now. Ours is probably a different scenario because of His health, but there are times when playtime isn't on the agenda, when I spend a day looking after Him intensely because He isn't well, plans have had to be changed at the last minute, and we spend a lot of time at hospital, doctors and clinics. Plus there was the way He likes things done vs the way I have always done things - doing laundry for example. He likes things pegged differently to the way I do it, and when it's brought in it should be folded before putting in the basket. Little things, but it can be frustrating

I know it's the same in every relationship when people move in together, but I've been reading through the posts here and it seems some of you are in the giddy heights of "sub fever" and I just wanted to bring in a dose of reality!

Hey Bandit
I've been thinking about exactly that, very much recently. Not because of the mundane / every day life side of things. Having been married and in other 'live in' relationships...that just goes with the territory *smile*

For me its other issues that I would have to work out if I could manage it or not. But for us its a good way off yet...I mean we haven't even met yet! lol
We plan to visit and pretty much take it from there.

But I'm glad you phrased your questions as you did Bandid...as its made me think about some of the practicalities of my visit.

 

[minx1]

I have been over to see him and, due to his shift work, spent too long alone becoming bored, upset and low.
Those times are not easy for either of us, I have started to make a network of friends over there but had it all been happy play time and little else I would have not discovered I needed more until my boxes were being unpacked.

Again Shy Slave I found all of your post extremely useful, but this part in particular rings bells with me. Having a network of friends would be vital to my long term happiness, especially with family so far away.

Even though me moving there would be way off and is by no means decided(we would have to see if we actually get on first! lol), its really invaluable to consider these things.
I suppose the difficulty for me is how I go about making those friends without actually being there and as Australia is so far away from me its not somewhere I could visit regularly...my finances would prevent that. Thankfully I have just found out that someone I know through work has moved there, so I already know one person lol! I think I would arrange to meet up with her when I go out to visit and I guess the rest I will make through a job.
But again thats important to realise as in practical terms it probably means that in the short term I would be quite lonely as friendships can take a little while to develop....

I have thought a lot about things like this and what I would do work wise.
I sometimes think that I think too much, but really its that I like to be prepared for various senarios.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't see age has a great deal to do with anything.

Young or old, if people want to live together they will move forward in that direction.

If they are just playing at LDR or D/s it is unlikely to last the distance and difficulties, age has nothing to do with it.

I can't see why you would go through the hard work of LDR if the intention is not to be together, it would be far more simple to find someone closer to home.

Oh, my only point about age is that if you're in your 30s, for example, you're more likely to have lived with someone before than, say, if you're 19. I dunno, when I was 19, I was in school. I wasn't thinking about living with someone in my immediate future. But hey, to each his own.

 

[minx1]

Hey itw,

Hows you today?

 

[intothewoods]

Hey itw,

Hows you today?

Hi there. Slightly pre-coffee cranky, but otherwise fine. I think FM gets back today, thankfully.

 

[minx1]

Hi there. Slightly pre-coffee cranky, but otherwise fine. I think FM gets back today, thankfully.

oh thats really good news eh....bet you are glad the day has finally arrived!

 

[tenedaveslilslut]

i am in an LDR as my Master lives across the ocean. Right now i am worried sick. i would like to know how you all handle it when you don't hear from your Masters.

Last night He asked that i meet him online on yahoo at 2am my time this morning and i waited until 4:30am i left a message for him on yahoo and an email and then "tried" to go back to bed...i couldn't sleep very well. i then went back online at 7am and waited for over an hour and still he wasn't there. Again i tried going back to sleep...i managed to get some in and woke at 12:10. i still haven't heard from him. This is not like him. We chat every single day and he always emails me when he can't meet me at the time he's specified.

i called his cell phone, but all i got was his voicemail. i did leave a message but i couldn't help weeping because i am scared that something happened to him.

How do you all handle something like this?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i am in an LDR as my Master lives across the ocean. Right now i am worried sick. i would like to know how you all handle it when you don't hear from your Masters.

Last night He asked that i meet him online on yahoo at 2am my time this morning and i waited until 4:30am i left a message for him on yahoo and an email and then "tried" to go back to bed...i couldn't sleep very well. i then went back online at 7am and waited for over an hour and still he wasn't there. Again i tried going back to sleep...i managed to get some in and woke at 12:10. i still haven't heard from him. This is not like him. We chat every single day and he always emails me when he can't meet me at the time he's specified.

i called his cell phone, but all i got was his voicemail. i did leave a message but i couldn't help weeping because i am scared that something happened to him.

How do you all handle something like this?

i'm of no help as i've never had this happen, but i'm sure He's ok. i hope you hear from Him soon

 

[tenedaveslilslut]

i'm of no help as i've never had this happen, but i'm sure He's ok. i hope you hear from Him soon

Thanks rose. i hope you are right and i hope i do too.