Distance Domination-Support Thread

[DomWharfsBitch]

Yes, thank GOD it's Friday and I can relax for a few days. Sorta.

*hugs, and for all! who want em*

Fury

Yes that is me too...Won't get to relax much tomorrow as I am doing Easter for my two nephews as they have plans for Easter next week..

*hugs, and to you Furry..Hope tha tyou are doing well!

 

[the captians wench]

So wait, you worked it out not with your Master but with some dude that you were talking about, who wanted to punish you for relating your feelings???

If so, may I ask how? Cause I was pissed on your behalf.

*goes to read up the thread a bit and see if there is an explanation here.*

Fury

Okay I guess I do have some explaining to do here.

I was pissed when it first happend, and I wrote everything out here just after he left and everything was fresh still. (he being this play guy) I took a shower, I went out, spent some time with some friends and all day was thinking about what happened.

There were a few things I realized. One, when I said go, he respected that, but at the same time he also respected that I was not in a happy place and he helped me out of it rather than just running off and leaving me to figure myself out. Another thing, I judged him based on things that have happend with other people, and not with how things have gone with him or anything that he had done. What happend was he triggered a memory that I had blocked, well a few memories actually and I got scared, and insted of talking these things out I took my normal route and wanted to excape from it, which is why I have these surpressed memories to begin with.

And I realized also that he never said that he would punish me for expressing my feelings. That was my jump, and it was a false one. What point he wanted to make was the not talking thing, but he never said that, he let me figure that out myself. Our whole problem stemed from the fact that I didn't feel like I could talk to him when I was "in my place" so to speak. If I was slave/sub, I dare not talk to dom/master kind of thing.

So I did come home that night and write out a long email to him, mostly because I felt like he deserved a better explination of what happend. I let open a lot of hurt that I have had in my life, everything going back to when I was a small child. And I felt the need to appologize for confusing him with these people that have hurt me, it wasn't fair to him, and it's something I've done to Jounar as well. He never once made me appologize for expressing myself, or even for asking him to leave, nor did he punish me for these things.

I still felt a bit...incomplete with things, so I asked to talk things out a bit. And he actually got me in positions that I spend most of my sub time in and made me talk that way. It made me realize that I can talk when I'm in this position, if I have a cramp I can speak up, if he's getting too deep in my head and I'm going somewhere we don't want me to then I can speak up. It left me feeling very satisfied with things.

So I asked to continue with things, and today we had a really good day. I was able to comunicate the whole time. I think I've expressed before my worries about slipping into a sugar fit or something, I'm now not as worried aobut it because when I felt too low I was able to communicate that, even if it was a bit...um...cavemanish *giggles*.

I did have a lot of hurt and anger going on in the moment that I wrote that post, but little of it actually had to do with him.

It makes me feel good that you care to ask for clairifacation tho.

 

[intothewoods]

Happy Friday All..

Thank Goodness the weekend is finally here...So thankful for that...

inthewoods sorry you have had a shitty week..I hope that it gets better for you once your Master gets back...Here are a few *hugs* for you..Hope they may help some what.

Wench..Glad that you had a good time playing..And you learned some things along the way..That is wonderful!

Thank you. I'll take 'em!

I was actually looking back at the emails I sent to FM this week, and I actually forgot how much happened this week! It was one of those, duh, moments. Of course I'm feeling down! This has been an incredibly tough week. I suppose I can forgive myself for feeling so disconnected. Just this once though.

 

[intothewoods]

Wench - wow. It's hard for me to judge, since I don't know how much you're comfortable with in a play partner. What does your Master think?

 

[intothewoods]

Yes, thank GOD it's Friday and I can relax for a few days. Sorta.

*hugs, and for all! who want em*

Fury

*waves hello to Fury and takes hugs, kisses and roses!*

What? I deserve it!

 

[minx1]

Wench - wow. It's hard for me to judge, since I don't know how much you're comfortable with in a play partner. What does your Master think?

Actually I'm glad you asked that itw. Wenchie do you ever 'worry' that you might get attached to them..or are you good at just compartmentalising it? I think I would crap at that

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Thank you. I'll take 'em!

I was actually looking back at the emails I sent to FM this week, and I actually forgot how much happened this week! It was one of those, duh, moments. Of course I'm feeling down! This has been an incredibly tough week. I suppose I can forgive myself for feeling so disconnected. Just this once though.

Good..Glad that you can use them.

I know it has to be so hard...I hate that your week has been so rough on you..Yes this once you can forgive yourself..Hope that he will be back to you soon and you will feel better

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Thanks, minx. I don't feel like I'm wondering whether it's for me, more like just processing the feelings without making judgments on them (I know that sounded hippy dippy, but bear with me). I think it's just that, for me, and I'm sure for plenty of people, the highs and lows of a D/s relationship are a lot more intense than a vanilla relationship. Part of what draws a normally tough and in control type like me to D/s is that you want to find someone strong enough, and with whom you feel safe enough, to let go and kneel to. But then when you let go, it's like, oh yeah, fuck, this is actually scary.

I know I'll feel better next week, and I think this will be a good learning experience. I mean, everything difficult is a good learning experience. Even if the only thing you learn is, damn, don't want to do that again!

is this the first time you've been 'without' Him? sounds a bit like 'sub drop' i know that all too well as i went through it when Master left here after His first visit, and i'm sure i'll go through it again come May 30th ....... i hope it gets better for you soon.....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Okay I guess I do have some explaining to do here.

I was pissed when it first happend, and I wrote everything out here just after he left and everything was fresh still. (he being this play guy) I took a shower, I went out, spent some time with some friends and all day was thinking about what happened.

There were a few things I realized. One, when I said go, he respected that, but at the same time he also respected that I was not in a happy place and he helped me out of it rather than just running off and leaving me to figure myself out. Another thing, I judged him based on things that have happend with other people, and not with how things have gone with him or anything that he had done. What happend was he triggered a memory that I had blocked, well a few memories actually and I got scared, and insted of talking these things out I took my normal route and wanted to excape from it, which is why I have these surpressed memories to begin with.

And I realized also that he never said that he would punish me for expressing my feelings. That was my jump, and it was a false one. What point he wanted to make was the not talking thing, but he never said that, he let me figure that out myself. Our whole problem stemed from the fact that I didn't feel like I could talk to him when I was "in my place" so to speak. If I was slave/sub, I dare not talk to dom/master kind of thing.

So I did come home that night and write out a long email to him, mostly because I felt like he deserved a better explination of what happend. I let open a lot of hurt that I have had in my life, everything going back to when I was a small child. And I felt the need to appologize for confusing him with these people that have hurt me, it wasn't fair to him, and it's something I've done to Jounar as well. He never once made me appologize for expressing myself, or even for asking him to leave, nor did he punish me for these things.

I still felt a bit...incomplete with things, so I asked to talk things out a bit. And he actually got me in positions that I spend most of my sub time in and made me talk that way. It made me realize that I can talk when I'm in this position, if I have a cramp I can speak up, if he's getting too deep in my head and I'm going somewhere we don't want me to then I can speak up. It left me feeling very satisfied with things.

So I asked to continue with things, and today we had a really good day. I was able to comunicate the whole time. I think I've expressed before my worries about slipping into a sugar fit or something, I'm now not as worried aobut it because when I felt too low I was able to communicate that, even if it was a bit...um...cavemanish *giggles*.

I did have a lot of hurt and anger going on in the moment that I wrote that post, but little of it actually had to do with him.

It makes me feel good that you care to ask for clairifacation tho.

is this the same one that was trying to make you call Him your Master? i'm confused....

 

[intothewoods]

is this the first time you've been 'without' Him? sounds a bit like 'sub drop' i know that all too well as i went through it when Master left here after His first visit, and i'm sure i'll go through it again come May 30th ....... i hope it gets better for you soon.....

I don't think we've ever gone an entire day without communicating in some way since we've met. I didn't think it would be this hard, but like I said, it's been a tough week.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I don't think we've ever gone an entire day without communicating in some way since we've met. I didn't think it would be this hard, but like I said, it's been a tough week.

*nods* i know how you're feeling and i really think it has ALOT to do with that very fact, that this is the first time you've gone without communication. but the weekend is here, it's almost over...right? :::Hugs:::

 

[intothewoods]

*nods* i know how you're feeling and i really think it has ALOT to do with that very fact, that this is the first time you've gone without communication. but the weekend is here, it's almost over...right? :::Hugs:::

Yes, absolutely. This pet needs her Master. And yes, it's almost over. He's supposed to be back tomorrow, at some point.

 

[FurryFury]

See Wench, this is why I like to ask because I learn. What I learned once again is that our feelings usually have more to do with US than with the other person we are with. I also learned again that with thought and communication most things can be worked out.

This is one reason why I had suggested on another thread that HM tell her POV because I think we could learn from it.

In the heat of the moment when we post, those feelings are valid but they can quickly and profoundly change.

Anyway, I'm happy that you are happy.

*hugs*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

*waves hello to Fury and takes hugs, kisses and roses!*

What? I deserve it!

*Waves back and smiles*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Yes that is me too...Won't get to relax much tomorrow as I am doing Easter for my two nephews as they have plans for Easter next week..

*hugs, and to you Furry..Hope tha tyou are doing well!

Thanks!

I'm doing better ATM. I've got a house full of boys for a sleep over party here. LOL. That is somehow more relaxing than anything else I've had to deal with this week.

Fury

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Thanks!

I'm doing better ATM. I've got a house full of boys for a sleep over party here. LOL. That is somehow more relaxing than anything else I've had to deal with this week.

Fury

You are welcome!

Sorry you have had such a rough week hon..I am glad that the boys sleeping over is relaxing..I hope that your weekend will better then the week! *hugs*

 

[FurryFury]

You are welcome!

Sorry you have had such a rough week hon..I am glad that the boys sleeping over is relaxing..I hope that your weekend will better then the week! *hugs*

Thanks!

It has to be. There are no other options. LOL.

*hugs back*

Fury

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Thanks!

It has to be. There are no other options. LOL.

*hugs back*

Fury

LOL....

Thanks for the hugs..

 

[the captians wench]

Actually I'm glad you asked that itw. Wenchie do you ever 'worry' that you might get attached to them..or are you good at just compartmentalising it? I think I would crap at that

Yes, Jounar knows about it, he knows about everything I do and get what details he wants out of it. He's infact more comfortable with me doing things that I am, so as his rule I am only allowd to do with other people what I am comfortable doing with other people. So they won't be pushing my hard limits, where Jounar is starting to soften a few of them.

Of course there is going to be some attachment, but it's a different kind. I'm not sure how to discribe it. I love Jounar, fully, completely, I would do anything he asked me to do, my play partners are more humm...okay it's sort of like the difference between your father and an older brother. You love both of them, but you love them differntly, and while your father has control over everything, your older brother has some but not as much. I guess...it's kinda hard to discribe, but there is deffinite seperation between them. It's easier when the playmate has other subs, for me anyway, makes things seem a bit more temporary like I guess.

Jounar is happy that things are working out. We would both rather be that I was playing with him, but in the mean time we understand needs being met outside of us.

And rose yes this is the same guy that tried to get me to call him "my master". What his target was, was to get me to seperate our time together from time with Jounar. When I am with him, he owns me, Jounar always owns me, so in that time we are together, if he owns me, he is "my master". This was one of those triggers that really had little to do with him. What I went to in my mind was another so called master who did some terrible things to me and actually convinced me that he stole me from Jounar and that I was now his. this other "master" (lets call him x just to keep things streight) told me when we first started talking that he was just wanting to chat with me and be friends like. He also worked in hypnosis, and because of some things my ex did to me was going to help "fix" me (my ex implanted messages while I was asleep). So x lured me in, at a time when Jounar and I were having some problems, and well things just ended up a mess. There's a few threads around here about all of it, I don't think you were around when it happened, and I'd just rather not go there. So when he tried to get me to say "my master" it set off that trigger "you're just like x you lied to me" and I went bazerk. He appologized when we talked for taken me to that place that I was not ready to go to, and for not seeing and realizing that I had a lot more to get out before we went that deep.

I do call him master, but most of my real time experience has been with goreans. In gorean culture every free man is master, but you have only one you call my master. Once I expressed the significance of that little my in my own head to him, he understood and he has not pressed that issue. Now he uses the term my in refurring to me a lot but that doesn't bother me as long as he continues to respect Jounar's rightful ownership.

And Jounar knows that I call others master. And the truth of the matter is he doesn't much care for being called master and he's okay with the fact that this is what they expect of me. Like I've mentioned before the tital I usually use when speaking to him is Love. To me that tital out ways master 1000+ times. I've never called any one love before, but I've called a few master. I think this is another way I seperate in my own mind the two.

And yes Furry I agree. I'm glad that I went and cooled off and then came home and sent a huge email about what was going on in my head. It gave me time to really think about what happened, as compared to just listening to the emotions playing at the time. I do regret that I couldn't talk things out then, I'm very disapointed in myself for that. But like I said we're working on that, and I found today I was able to comunicate a lot more which makes me feel safer actually. I have a lot of special needs and it really is important that I comunicate them.

 

[FurryFury]

Wench,

It sounds like to me you made a LOT of personal progress. I'd be happy as hell about that if I were you! I'm happy for you!

DomWharfsBitch ,

You are more than welcome. I'll give you a hug anytime.

*smiles*

Fury

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Wench,

It sounds like to me you made a LOT of personal progress. I'd be happy as hell about that if I were you! I'm happy for you!

DomWharfsBitch ,

You are more than welcome. I'll give you a hug anytime.

*smiles*

Fury

Thank you Fury..Much appreciated..As I would give you a hug anytime too!

About to head to bed for the night..Have a good one everyone!

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you Fury..Much appreciated..As I would give you a hug anytime too!

About to head to bed for the night..Have a good one everyone!

You too.

I think I'm going to go grab me a book and go to bed. Sleeping with the boys in the house might be problematic. So is deciding how many clothes I can tolerate just in case I am called to get up suddenly. Still, it's a good night.

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Yes, Jounar knows about it, he knows about everything I do and get what details he wants out of it. He's infact more comfortable with me doing things that I am, so as his rule I am only allowd to do with other people what I am comfortable doing with other people. So they won't be pushing my hard limits, where Jounar is starting to soften a few of them.

Of course there is going to be some attachment, but it's a different kind. I'm not sure how to discribe it. I love Jounar, fully, completely, I would do anything he asked me to do, my play partners are more humm...okay it's sort of like the difference between your father and an older brother. You love both of them, but you love them differntly, and while your father has control over everything, your older brother has some but not as much. I guess...it's kinda hard to discribe, but there is deffinite seperation between them. It's easier when the playmate has other subs, for me anyway, makes things seem a bit more temporary like I guess.

Jounar is happy that things are working out. We would both rather be that I was playing with him, but in the mean time we understand needs being met outside of us.

And rose yes this is the same guy that tried to get me to call him "my master". What his target was, was to get me to seperate our time together from time with Jounar. When I am with him, he owns me, Jounar always owns me, so in that time we are together, if he owns me, he is "my master". This was one of those triggers that really had little to do with him. What I went to in my mind was another so called master who did some terrible things to me and actually convinced me that he stole me from Jounar and that I was now his. this other "master" (lets call him x just to keep things streight) told me when we first started talking that he was just wanting to chat with me and be friends like. He also worked in hypnosis, and because of some things my ex did to me was going to help "fix" me (my ex implanted messages while I was asleep). So x lured me in, at a time when Jounar and I were having some problems, and well things just ended up a mess. There's a few threads around here about all of it, I don't think you were around when it happened, and I'd just rather not go there. So when he tried to get me to say "my master" it set off that trigger "you're just like x you lied to me" and I went bazerk. He appologized when we talked for taken me to that place that I was not ready to go to, and for not seeing and realizing that I had a lot more to get out before we went that deep.

I do call him master, but most of my real time experience has been with goreans. In gorean culture every free man is master, but you have only one you call my master. Once I expressed the significance of that little my in my own head to him, he understood and he has not pressed that issue. Now he uses the term my in refurring to me a lot but that doesn't bother me as long as he continues to respect Jounar's rightful ownership.

And Jounar knows that I call others master. And the truth of the matter is he doesn't much care for being called master and he's okay with the fact that this is what they expect of me. Like I've mentioned before the tital I usually use when speaking to him is Love. To me that tital out ways master 1000+ times. I've never called any one love before, but I've called a few master. I think this is another way I seperate in my own mind the two.

And yes Furry I agree. I'm glad that I went and cooled off and then came home and sent a huge email about what was going on in my head. It gave me time to really think about what happened, as compared to just listening to the emotions playing at the time. I do regret that I couldn't talk things out then, I'm very disapointed in myself for that. But like I said we're working on that, and I found today I was able to comunicate a lot more which makes me feel safer actually. I have a lot of special needs and it really is important that I comunicate them.

ah..well thank you for clarifying *smiles* i don't call any but ONE Master, so that's where i was confused i'm glad it's all going good now and i hope it continues for you....:::hugs:::

 

[the captians wench]

Wench,

It sounds like to me you made a LOT of personal progress. I'd be happy as hell about that if I were you! I'm happy for you!

DomWharfsBitch ,

You are more than welcome. I'll give you a hug anytime.

*smiles*

Fury

I am very proud really. And I'm actually glad that my past came out. I have a lot of issues that I've just been avoiding and burrying, and it feels good to tackle some of them.

 

[the captians wench]

ah..well thank you for clarifying *smiles* i don't call any but ONE Master, so that's where i was confused i'm glad it's all going good now and i hope it continues for you....:::hugs:::

*giggles*

It was hard for me starting out with the idea that any free man was master. And I think those teachings lead me astray a bit as well. But eventually those that taught me these things realized they needed to teach me not every man was a free man and deserved the tital master. It's funny some times the things we have to learn. But to gorean slaves that little my makes all the difference in the world. And tho I don't claim to be gorean, I have to admit most of my real time experience has been gorean based so I lean kinda heavy there. I'm just not real big on the role play stuff my gorean friends are. *shrug*