Discretion and Online Relationships

[Calamity Jane]

Is there any realtionship between the stability/longevity of an online relatinship, and the amount of discretion involved?

I know of several people involved in online affairs... many are very obvious, flirting and making references to their relationship on the board. There are others though, that you'd never guess were involved with each other.

Are the obvious, in your face ones less stable as a rule?

Are real life relationships much the same?

*standard disclaimer* I am not passing judgement. I am curious.

 

[Olivianna]

Interesting question.

So, like, oh my God!, did you know that I was involved with a Lit member???

 

[Calamity Jane]

OMG! Is it that one guy that said that thing and has that av?

Another question... do you tend to assume people are involved, based on passing statements, and then find out you're completely off base?

 

[Guest]

 

[sexy-girl]

i just assume im off base about everyone ... one thing i've noticed since being at lit is im really terrible at seeing behind the scenes stuff

 

[Guest]

 

[kotori]

Question 1: I'm sure there's a better chance of success if not under the constant scrutiny of the general population.

Question 2: I'm usually oblivious to these things until I get a wedding announcement.

 

[freakygirl]

Question 1: I'm sure there's a better chance of success if not under the constant scrutiny of the general population.

Question 2: I'm usually oblivious to these things until I get a wedding announcement.

Ditto

 

[Calamity Jane]

Re: Re: Discretion and Online Relationships

Losers.com is that way ----------->

Thank you so much. Now, I know where to go to meet other swell guys, just like you.

 

[Olivianna]

OMG! Is it that one guy that said that thing and has that av?

Another question... do you tend to assume people are involved, based on passing statements, and then find out you're completely off base?

It does seem with so much flirting going on that is easy to be led astray. On the other hand, with all of the flirting going on, one can also be led to assume that none of it is serious, or at least not part of some established off-Lit romance.

In terms of discretion...I think it would be awkward me if I was extremely public (in a serious manner, of course) about a relationship with another Lit person. For one, I don't get much kicks out of being all public that way. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to implicate others in my relationship in any way - for example, if me and Mr. X broke up, I wouldn't want to soon after find some thread titled "What happened with Olivianna and Mr. X?"
Ya know?

 

[Minkey Boodle]

In my current Lit romance, discretion is the super-key to the whole thing. No one knows it's happening, not even me.

Generally, I'd agree with what Oivianna said up yonder, there.

 

[QuickDuck]

hmmm honestly i have had it both ways (not on lit but meeting others from online) and i would not rate one higher than the other.

It all comes down to what you are both comfortable with.

If neither of you care about others knowing, then why not shout it from the highest mountain? *shrug* at the same time, i can understand why some people would want to keep it quiet since really, its no one else's business.

 

[Calamity Jane]

In terms of discretion...I think it would be awkward me if I was extremely public (in a serious manner, of course) about a relationship with another Lit person. For one, I don't get much kicks out of being all public that way. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to implicate others in my relationship in any way - for example, if me and Mr. X broke up, I wouldn't want to soon after find some thread titled "What happened with Olivianna and Mr. X?"
Ya know?

That's kind of the way my thoughts were running. Even in offline relationships, I'm not very 'public' about them. For me, there's a serious level of discomfort if everyone knows I'm 'with' a certain person.

There's also the problem of trying to extricate yourself publicly and retain any illusion of class and decorum.

 

[MissTaken]

Some people are very private about their activities and relationships regardless of how "open" they seem on the board.

It is likely that these people probably have a deep sense of privacy in their real time life as well.

I think with lit, that some discretion is necessary and is defined by the individuals involved.

 

[celiaKitten]

My vote: discretion until you can claim ownership.

It's working so far.

 

[QuickDuck]

My vote: discretion until you can claim ownership.

It's working so far.

so you haven't told them about us yet? oops

 

[celiaKitten]

so you haven't told them about us yet? oops

Take that back! I don't want cgirly to kick my ass