Did you resist your sexuality ?

[sexy-girl]

im curious how usual it is to resist your sexuality ... its something i've not really thought about before but i had very little trouble accepting my sexuality


i knew for a while i was gay but while i had attraction to girls there was never a girl that i became close too that way ... so knowing i was gay made no real difference to my life


but then because of some peer pressure i started to date a boy for a short while when i was 15 ... im not even sure if it counts that i had a boyfriend or not ... but shortly after that i said to myself out loud that i was gay and ended the sort of relationship and never looked back


just curious about how much of that is typical

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Never resisted my own personal leanings. I have been as I am for as long as i can remember. Maybe it's different cuz by most folks estimations I am bi (though not my own..but my opinion on me is a little convoluted).

I suppose for some people the journey to self discovery and claiming their sexuality is fraught with tension and unease..but for me..it was never an issue.

pet

 

[LadyIsis]

I guess you could say I resisted. I was 15 when I really started to consider the possibility that I was a lesbian, and that wasn't easy. I've always been popular and I had a bunch of guys that wanted to date me and that was kind of awkward to deal with. It took a couple of years before I was ready to actually admit to myself that it was true. But I confided in my best friend Faith and that really helped, since she ended up making the same confession to me, and now here we are 5 years later, planning our wedding. I wish it had been easier to admit it, maybe then I wouldn't have wasted those 2 years.

 

[Angel]

I never really resisted it, I just had no idea that I had the option to like anything other than boys.

Sure, as a kid you hear the terms (gay, lesbo, fag, homo etc) tossed around as if they're horrible insults, but you never really understand what it means.

And when you're brought up in straight-ville, you really don't know anything other than Boys go with Girls.

I of course liked boys, but it took awhile to realize that I was in fact actually attracted sexually to other girls.

A bunch of shit happened pre and during puberty which are glaringly obvious today when I think back - but at the time I had no clue.

I do sometimes wonder if I would have resisted if I knew better.

I also sometimes wonder what would have become of my sexuality if all those little episodes as a kid would have went further than they did.

 

[glamorilla]

i always knew i was different even though at a young age I didn't realize it was keyed into my sexuality. The moment I became aware of what a "homosexual" was I knew I was one.

Accepting myself was easy~although there was a period during my teens I didn't try to deny it so much as hide it just becouse of how homosexual yoouths get treated by thier heterosexual peers.

The first few times I said I was gay out loud to someone was surreal but liberating.

I wouldn't want to be any other way.

 

[thickspear]

'

 

[InnovativeBlonde]

In my early to mid teens, I had similar feelings to Angel, in that I didn't realize that I "could" like both boys and girls. I sort of freaked out. I was rejecting it. I'd never heard the term "bisexual" so I just assumed that I must be gay, even though I still liked boys.

Once I entered college, the term was thrown around more often, and I realized that I fit in there, and from then on out I've embraced having the best of both worlds.

 

[KenJames]

im curious how usual it is to resist your sexuality ... its something i've not really thought about before but i had very little trouble accepting my sexuality

i knew for a while i was gay but while i had attraction to girls there was never a girl that i became close too that way ... so knowing i was gay made no real difference to my life

but then because of some peer pressure i started to date a boy for a short while when i was 15 ... im not even sure if it counts that i had a boyfriend or not ... but shortly after that i said to myself out loud that i was gay and ended the sort of relationship and never looked back

just curious about how much of that is typical

I never resisted my sexuality (first boy at 13, first woman at 21) and never felt a bit guilty, either. I was always just . . . sexual.

If you're curious, here are links to the true stories about my first times.


First Time - Male

First Time - Female

 

[Cigan]

As with many people here when I look back I see a lot of things I did that were major tip offs that I was gay, but I just never really considered the possibility till I was well into high school. I knew what gay was, I had been told by my parents, and by no means in a derogatory way, but the insult gay had been a favorite on the playground as a kid, and usually aimed at me, so I was not comfortable with it at all. I spent a period where I dated girls, and tried to be striahgt, then I was comfortable enough to say I was bi. When I hit college I spent a year trying to keep up the bi thing, and it caused me more heartache then I can possibly begin to describe in one post. Then one day I just said to myself that I was gay. I liked dick, and only dick, and that was fine. While I can't say my lovelife has been smooth since then, it's been a hell of a lot smoother than it was before.

 

[CharleyH]

I've always gone with what's 'right' for me in the moment. I've never resisted, (as apart from submissing - let's qualify lol ) my desire, and passion.

 

[Lady Christabel]

I was sure, never doubted, never resisted. Everyone else? Now that's a different story. Some of my family and friends freaked, some couldn't accept and I cut them out of my life and some still can't get over it but deal.

 

[MzChrista]

I was confused for a while but I wouldnt say I ever resisted.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

While I knew that I enjoyed looking at women from about the age of 12 on, it never occurred to me that I might have queer leanings. I was Catholic, and that kind of thing was 'wrong', and I just couldn't ever think that I would be that way. I eventually decided I was like that cus I was an artist, and women's bodies are so beautiful...

Finally, I just gave up and realized that the 'art' thing was an excuse. I was 18 when I decided that.

 

[Etoile]

Please remember to be careful in posts mentioning ages. I won't remove mentions of age if it's in the context of realizing sexuality, but any mention of sexual activity at an age under 18 must be edited. Sorry to be so pushy but them's the rules at Lit.

 

[serpentofthefog]

I have always been attracted to men. But at about the age of 15 I had a thought. Why should I limit myself to just the gender of a person? If I do that, I am negleting the other half of the population. This seemed rather silly to me. And then it hit me, I have always been attracted to girls as well. Being that I was never raised with much of a religous background, I was never told that it was wrong to. So once I reliezed this, I never held back.

It just kind of sucks though, I'm too shy to approach any girls!

 

[Netzach]

Resistant, no, just in a lot of confused denial. I got called a lesbian a lot, but I was attracted to men, so I figured I was
straight because that's all there was to be...that's until I was 19 I finally met a real live bisexual person, not just a clinical term in sex ed.

 

[wishbone96]

I was always calleddifferent when I was a teenager -whether that was due to my deafness or sexual inclinations is very uncertain. Tried once when I was in college with a close a friend who had the major hots for me and had a massive guilt trip. I went into major denial. I am not conscoiusly attracted to men but maybe something comes out that I am not aware of. I have been called queer by my some of the more homophobic. Ridicule and a very uptight prep school experiences have made me into what I am -bi curious and still not certain. Limbo I guess, its all about the backdoor for me.

 

[sigh]

I don't remember resisting so much as being completely unaware. For years, all through high school, I felt more asexual than anything else. It's like I had no urges at all. I don't even remember masturbating until I was in college. My only true high school friend was a gay guy and though I loved him dearly, I've wondered at times if part of my attraction to him was due to the fact that I could do anything with him (even sneaking in to swim naked in the local country club pool after dark) without generating any sexual tension between us whatsoever.

Even today, defining my own sexuality frustrates me. It's very confusing. I don't resist making love to a woman. In fact, I'm most pleased to say that I do it with regularity, but I still wonder what the bounds are and if.......

I don't know. Shit, I'm not even sure how to finish that sentence.

 

[Quint]

I think I was aware of the fact that real people were bisexual--some of my "straight" female friends suddenly became a lot closer--when I started high school. It was a bizarre thought and I believed they were doing it for popularity (though now I think it was really quite obvious that they WERE bi), but the result was that I became aware of a potential new reality. In the next two years in a new location, I made a couple of friends who I discovered were bi as well, contributing to the "real people are like this" theory. Didn't feel much desire to explore my own bisexuality until my junior year of high school. Didn't ever feel ashamed or confused--it just lay dormant in me until I found a specific girl I was interested in who was also interested in me.

Submission, I never questioned. It sounded neat and right the first time I read about it and tried it, it's still pretty neat.

 

[killallhippies]

i still might be. right now is a bad time for me. i still think about it a lot. sometimes i think i'm just gay and i make myself like girls because i feel i should. i really don't know. i'll figure it out eventually.


i do flirt with girls easier than boys, though, but i can fake it pretty well when forced anyway, so doesn't really mean anything. i don't know. it's too early for this.

 

[apexpark]

i came out when i was 13. wasnt really a big deal for me. my mother didnt aprove and still doesnt, i told her to back the fuck off my life and i really couldnt care less about her opinions on anything. i said it just like that. and i think thats the way it should be said. you should let everyone know personally that you dont care about what they think is right for you, they dont own you, and they arent having sex with you. they should either deal with it or leave.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

I realized I was bisexual around my freshman year of high school, before I had dated a man or a women. I just then realized that I was open to the possibility of either men or women, I mean heck if you limit your searching for love to one gender you cut your chances of finding it in half ^_~

Never resisted though, my family was pretty supportive and my friends basically said that as long as I didn't molest them they didn't mind (they said this in jest of course)

-Zergplex

 

[InsatiableMe]

I'll start off by stating that I am bisexual. I was fortunate enough to know that I was "different" than many around me from a very young age, too.

I feel like I "could have been" a lesbian had I had an open minded upbringing. I wasn't attracted to any boys my own age, and had no crushes on grown men. I was, however, attracted to grown women. I loved the female form and was infatuated by it.

Shortly after my discovery, my best friend and I (she was two years older) began sexually "playing" together and I loved it! It felt right to me.

But, though my family wasn't overly religious or anything, things like homosexuality, masturbation, premarital sex, etc., were all "evil" and "a sin". I felt ashamed for liking the things my friend and I did. I started to feel guilty.

So, what did I do about it? I "forced" myself to sexually play with boys as well. I thought it would be okay to do what I liked doing as long as I "played" with boys as well.

Well, I know now that I am not a lesbian. I've grown to love men, the male body, and especially cock. But, for a short while in my young life I did suppress my sexuality some what. It makes me wonder if I would have found bisexuality later in life or not.

 

[Hajar]

I don't think resist is a good word, I had never thought about being with girls, until one day a friend and I were studing and she asked me to go to her sisters house, we did, and she introduced me to this whole other life I had not a clue about, that was when I was in my mid teens.
I did nothing else with females again until I was 20+ with two long time friends, however my problem is the females that I became involved with were all, crazy dominating women, who didn't like the idea of me being with men.
Now I'm married to a man, and he has left the opition open for me to be with a female.
But I have yet to take that step, I guess I want that when/if I do it's perfect

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I did resist...

It was odd...I had so many friends who were gay and I was all supportive of them, but when it was me, I had to deal with some latent homophobia that I didn't even know I had