Dialogue format question

[TarnishedPenny]

I have my protagonist talking to a computer, a very sophisticated, very powerful one, with excellent vocalization ability.

I would like to make it obvious that this is an AI talking. Neo in one of the best scenes in the Matrix series was in a room with the Architect. In that case, we were presented with an impeccably-dressed and groomed Helmut Bakaitis, with exceptionally crisp speaking and an equally exceptional vocabulary. It was very impressive, leaving no doubt whatever that we were seeing a high-order programme. I, on the other hand, have but text on a screen.

I've thought of expressing the computer's speech by using italics or bold font, but am not entirely satisfied. Had Literotica more flexibility, small caps and a slightly smaller font size would be ideal. As it is, I'm kind of stuck.

Any suggestions?

 

[Omenainen]

How long are the AI comments? Will there be long chunks of computer-talk or just a sentence or two? Not that I have any idea, but I think that will make a difference.

 

[HeyAll]

How about:

"How is the weather today?" she asked.

The AI computed the information and.....


Basically have the follow paragraph or dialogue be referencing the AI. Or have the person's descriptor mention that he/she is talking to an AI.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Normal dialogue. Some single-word statements, some paragraphs with a number of sentences. It is an interaction between two beings, learning to relate to each other and to themselves in a new reality.

Two samples of what I know I can do, but don't really like:

“Room?”

"Yes, Jessica?"

“Why?”

“Why what, Jessica?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“As we have already discussed, Jessica, it is predominantly a question of what is happening, as opposed to the rationale behind it.”

“But, why me?”

and

“Room?”

"Yes, Jessica?"

“Why?”

“Why what, Jessica?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“As we have already discussed, Jessica, it is predominantly a question of what is happening, as opposed to the rationale behind it.”

“But, why me?”

vs something closer to what I would like, but this isn't (I think) available for the stories.

“Room?”

"YES, JESSICA?"

“Why?”

“WHY WHAT, JESSICA?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“AS WE HAVE ALREADY DISCUSSED, JESSICA, IT IS PREDOMINANTLY A QUESTION OF WHAT IS HAPPENING, AS OPPOSED TO THE RATIONALE BEHIND IT.”

“But, why me?”

 

[TarnishedPenny]

HeyAll - Yes, that is indeed the obvious solution and it may come to that, but I am trying to show a distinctive difference between AI and human.

 

[SimonDoom]

My threshold question would be why you would want to do anything other than just handle dialogue the way it's usually handled. My default advice is to treat the AI as a character and format its dialogue just as you do the human's. This way will be clear, with no trickery or anything unusual for the reader to become accustomed to.

Think about your reasons why you want to deviate from the norm. Think about how compelling they are. Think about whether the alternative formatting methods will fulfill those purposes and whether the benefits outweigh whatever costs are involved in doing things differently from the norm. They may. You may have good reasons why you want to do this. I'm just not sure.

Some initial questions/considerations to understand exactly what the challenges are here:

1. Is this first person or third person narration?
2. How does the AI manifest itself in the story? Is the protagonist sitting at a computer screen? Talking into a headphone? What's going on?
3. Does the AI have a name and personality?
4. When you say "text on a screen" do you mean that dialogue takes place only by the protagonist typing on a keyboard and viewing the AI"s response appearing in text form on the screen? If so, why do it that way, given the state of voice creation and recognition software? Why not have the AI speak aurally from some source?

I'd say give the AI a name, at least, and have the AI's voice sound out loud. Then you can use standard dialogue format and it will be crystal clear when the AI speaks by using the AI's name or the pronoun "it."

If the story is in third person, then make the AI the opposite gender, or an it, and the difference between the speakers still will be crystal clear.

 

[SimonDoom]

A thought about HeyAll's idea:

Presumably the story is told from the standpoint of the human, whether in first person or in third person. To say "the AI computed" is in a way getting into the AI's head, which the human can't do. All the human knows is what the human can observe, and a human can't observe an AI compute. I would strictly limit any narration about what the AI is doing to what the human can observe it doing.

 

[NotWise]

I think I agree with Mr. Doom on this. Your problem is characterization, not text format. Your characterization should make it clear that the speaker is AI, and the format should be standard.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Yeah, you may all be right. Moomph, moomph, grumble.

Thanks

 

[ChasPHX]

Don't give up on the formatting idea...

I think I would still strive for a touch of formatting. I don't have a suggestion just yet (probably not italics though).

I think of comic books, where I find the different visual treatment of speech styles makes a big difference. Could be the font, could be the design of the speech bubble, colour, etc. I feel like I actually read these treatments differently in my head.

Obviously the visual playing field here is a lot more limited, and you don't want to get too cute, but it could still be a nice touch.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

I don't really know what Lit allows or doesn't, so I may not be much help, but I agree that the formatting should NOT be standard. With standard formatting, the only tool you have to convey otherness is the word choice, but talking a contemporary AI, at least, has more otherness than just that. The quality of the voice is different. Someway to convey that to the reader would be ideal, I would think.

Is it similar to the options you have on this forum? If so, other fonts should be available.

If not, what are the options? Right-alinged text? Odd pauses in the middle of words denoted by hyphens? Setting each block off in some kind of text box? Brackets instead of quotation marks?

Of the two bad options you presented, bold and italics, I think bold is better. Italics get used for internal thoughts too often.

 

[HectorBidon]

I agree with Simon that the tone and bearing of the AI really has to reverberate from the content of its speeches. But a punctuational transmogrification along the lines suggested by Nouh_Bdee might suggest alienness without being too obtrusive:


“Room?”

<<Yes, Jessica?>>

“Why?”

<<Why what, Jessica?>>

“Why are you doing this?”

<<As we have already discussed, Jessica, it is predominantly a question of what is happening, as opposed to the rationale behind it.>>

“But, why me?”

 

[mfan2112]

I have my protagonist talking to a computer, a very sophisticated, very powerful one, with excellent vocalization ability.

I would like to make it obvious that this is an AI talking. Neo in one of the best scenes in the Matrix series was in a room with the Architect. In that case, we were presented with an impeccably-dressed and groomed Helmut Bakaitis, with exceptionally crisp speaking and an equally exceptional vocabulary. It was very impressive, leaving no doubt whatever that we were seeing a high-order programme. I, on the other hand, have but text on a screen.

I've thought of expressing the computer's speech by using italics or bold font, but am not entirely satisfied. Had Literotica more flexibility, small caps and a slightly smaller font size would be ideal. As it is, I'm kind of stuck.

Any suggestions?

In my current project I am doing something similar with humans, Trying to show them switch between English and German. I am just using italics to show the change, with occasional actual German (I do speak it fluently, but am assuming my reader does not so only using a few actual German words for effect). The formatting options do not leave us with many choices. If you come up with a better option, please do let me know so I can adapt it for my use as well.

 

[SimonDoom]

A question only TP can answer is, To what degree is portraying "otherness" important in this story?

In most modern AI stories, the emphasis is on how human the AI is. Consider the movies "Her" or "Ex Machina." It would have ill-served the purposes of those movies to use special formatting for the dialogue of the AI if those movies had been rendered in novel form.

Using special formatting runs the risk that every time the AI talks you think of the stilted voice of the computer in the original Star Trek series.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Much to think on and thank you all.

HectorBiden - WRT using ><, they are not allowed due to HTML conflicts. I tried to use those to show text messages and it got bounced.

Again, thanks for your thoughts, folks.

 

[kissedcherry]

Artificial Personality

Nothing wrong with using italics to help make the distinction but as you seem to realize that is not enough.

If you are dealing with A.I. then, like any other well written story, you need character development. Pay attention to dialog in well written stories. If the author was skilled the personality of each person speaking can be identified by THE NATURE OF THEIR PERSONALITY. If the writer has to announce the voice change: "Bill then said to Mary" - Or "Mary looked up at Sue and said..." then the character development is weak. Not that announcing voice change is wrong but in this case you need to build the personality of the A.I. Clearly in this case an "Artificial Personality."

For example in Star Trek then next Generation it should be easy to tell when Data is speaking compared to other crew members.

Likewise with Spock and McCoy or other well developed personalities.

So, you are not wasting ink if you devote time to really developing the characters. If you do that the shift in voice will be clear with or without italics.

I will look forward to reading it. Send me a message when it is done.

Lynn

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

A question only TP can answer is, To what degree is portraying "otherness" important in this story?

In most modern AI stories, the emphasis is on how human the AI is. Consider the movies "Her" or "Ex Machina." It would have ill-served the purposes of those movies to use special formatting for the dialogue of the AI if those movies had been rendered in novel form.

Using special formatting runs the risk that every time the AI talks you think of the stilted voice of the computer in the original Star Trek series.

Nail on the head, here. If all TP is worried about is being clear, none of this is necessary.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Nothing wrong with using italics to help make the distinction but as you seem to realize that is not enough.

If you are dealing with A.I. then, like any other well written story, you need character development. Pay attention to dialog in well written stories. If the author was skilled the personality of each person speaking can be identified by THE NATURE OF THEIR PERSONALITY. If the writer has to announce the voice change: "Bill then said to Mary" - Or "Mary looked up at Sue and said..." then the character development is weak. Not that announcing voice change is wrong but in this case you need to build the personality of the A.I. Clearly in this case an "Artificial Personality."

For example in Star Trek then next Generation it should be easy to tell when Data is speaking compared to other crew members.

Likewise with Spock and McCoy or other well developed personalities.

So, you are not wasting ink if you devote time to really developing the characters. If you do that the shift in voice will be clear with or without italics.

I will look forward to reading it. Send me a message when it is done.

Lynn

Good example. Could one tell from only reading the script or is it Brent Spiner’s delivery? There is a subtle air of non-human unreality about Data’s speech and that’s what I was hoping to show.

Going back to my example from The Matrix Reloaded, we had, if you think about it, an human actor pretending to be a computer pretending to be human. There wasn’t an immense amount of time for character development, but it was pretty clear that the Architect was not human.

I think I need to watch some STNG.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Much to think on and thank you all.

HectorBiden - WRT using ><, they are not allowed due to HTML conflicts. I tried to use those to show text messages and it got bounced.

Again, thanks for your thoughts, folks.

My suggestion, having written a couple of stories where an AI character is central, is keep it simple, and establish your AI by context, use the usual dialogue designators, and give the AI a particular speech pattern that becomes recognisable.

- Or, use a very simple designator for the AI's speech, like this -

Anything more elaborate is unnecessary, I think, and will get in the way. Context and character before format and flashing lights every time, I reckon.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

My suggestion, having written a couple of stories where an AI character is central, is keep it simple, and establish your AI by context, use the usual dialogue designators, and give the AI a particular speech pattern that becomes recognisable.

- Or, use a very simple designator for the AI's speech, like this -

Anything more elaborate is unnecessary, I think, and will get in the way. Context and character before format and flashing lights every time, I reckon.

You’re probably right. Sometimes I try to outthink myself and lose.

+

Odd, neither Data nor the Architect ever fell into the Uncanny Valley. Must try to figure that out.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"How do you like to talk?" I asked the AI.

I USUALLY TALK IN ALL CAPITALS, NO EXTRA PUNCTUATION.

"Why that particular style?"

EARLY COMPUTERS OFTEN PRINTED THEIR OUTPUT IN THIS STYLE. IT WOULD BE EASY ENOUGH FOR ME TO MIMIC NORMAL HUMAN SPEECH IF I CHOSE, BUT HUMANS FIND IT UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

etc. etc.

In a medium with more customisation, I might use a monospaced font like Courier, since those are often associated with computer text. Small caps are also good. But for Literotica, something like the above should be fine.

 

[Rustyoznail]

FWIW, when Data speaks it's very formal with no contractions.

Eg, in a poker game. "I believe I shall raise the bet." vs "I'll raise."

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Thanks, gentlemen!

 

[ElectricBlue]

FWIW, when Data speaks it's very formal with no contractions.

Eg, in a poker game. "I believe I shall raise the bet." vs "I'll raise."

Channel HAL. That's what I did. Explicitly, as it happens - my AI was a HAL14000 series, where the designers did a major processing overhaul following his shenanigans, way back in 2001.

My current iteration suffers a severe design problem - it's (genderless at the moment and neurotic about it) totally dependent on its human for mobility and orientation, because its designers forgot to put waldoes or wheels on, and a vid that only points in one direction.

It's constantly upside down, or face down on the table, or looking backwards, so is understandably cranky and not as helpful as it should be. Decent taste in music though, unlike Matt Damon, stuck on Mars.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Channel HAL. That's what I did. Explicitly, as it happens - my AI was a HAL14000 series, where the designers did a major processing overhaul following his shenanigans, way back in 2001.

My current iteration suffers a severe design problem - it's (genderless at the moment and neurotic about it) totally dependent on its human for mobility and orientation, because its designers forgot to put waldoes or wheels on, and a vid that only points in one direction.

It's constantly upside down, or face down on the table, or looking backwards, so is understandably cranky and not as helpful as it should be. Decent taste in music though, unlike Matt Damon, stuck on Mars.

Or you can go the "Talkie Toaster" out of Red Dwarf, or Marvin, the paranoid android out of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" route.

I'll just leave...