DGO's New Unthread!

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny?

Where you put the cucumber.
 
I was browsing the playground threads when I saw the one about jeans. I had nothing positive to add, so I skipped it. (It's too bad more people don't follow my lead.) As an adult, I've never owned a pair of jeans and never wanted to do so. As a child I preferred dresses. When given a choice of what to wear in the summer, I picked a sun dress. The older I got, the fewer shorts I owned. Of course we didn't wear pants in school. That made every day in high school a junior fashion show! I really miss those days. The guys in my high school weren't allowed to wear jeans until our senior year. Even then, very few wore them. Okay, enough of that.
 
WOW!! I just stopped at the Quick Trip in the Grove. I pull up and noticed these two cops looking at this lady who was talking on her cell and smoking while gasing up. I'm thinking this lady is crazy! She's going to blow us all up! So I go in and pay for my gas, and as I was checking out I hear someone screaming "LOOK OUTSIDE", the woman's arm was on fire!!! She's running around screaming and waving her arm around and just going nuts. I go outside , the cops were holding her on the ground and putting the fire out with an extinguisher. I hopped in my ride and I saw the cops putting her in cuffs. Some dude at the pump, was like, "Aw naw" , "Why ya'll cuffing her?" Like catching her arm on fire wasn't punishment enough? I kid you not, the deputies looked him dead in the eye and said, "For waving a Firearm"
 
If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself...
 
Hey, beautiful, long time. Glad to see you're OK. Sorry for all you've gone through, but I'd never bet against you...
 
Stops in to say Hi and check up on you;):) oh and thanks for your Visit to my Place :rose:
 
You know I'm confused. (Blame it on age.)


Quite a few years ago (2006) we had a flirt going for quite some time, Dido...but, you're not likely to remember. Let's just say I have fond memories and I'm glad you're doing well. :)
 
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Quite a few years ago (2006) we had a flirt going for quite some time, Dido...but, you're not likely to remember. Let's just say I have fond memories and I'm glad you're doing well. :)

Do you have one child - a son? Name starts with "C"?
 
A Jew, a Frenchman and an Italian were bragging about their lovemaking talent.

The Jew said he first rubbed schmalz on his wife and when he was through making love his wife screamed for 5 minutes.

The Frenchman said that first he rubbed butter on his wife and when he was through his wife screamed for 10 minutes.

The Italian said that he first rubbed his wife with olive oil and when he was through his wife screamed for 6 hours.

The Frencman was stunned and asked what he could possibly have done that made his wife scream for 6 hours. The Italian responded, "I wiped my hands on the sheets." :cool:
 
A Jew, a Frenchman and an Italian were bragging about their lovemaking talent.

The Jew said he first rubbed schmalz on his wife and when he was through making love his wife screamed for 5 minutes.

The Frenchman said that first he rubbed butter on his wife and when he was through his wife screamed for 10 minutes.

The Italian said that he first rubbed his wife with olive oil and when he was through his wife screamed for 6 hours.

The Frencman was stunned and asked what he could possibly have done that made his wife scream for 6 hours. The Italian responded, "I wiped my hands on the sheets." :cool:

rotflol
 
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50s, 60s and 70s!​

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
 
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50s, 60s and 70s!​

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
Great posts DGO and so true!
 
Great posts DGO and so true!

I used to tell my older students what it was like when I was there age. One girl got really mad because her generation didn't have the freedom that we had. One young man pointed out that we didn't have video games. "No, we didn't," I said. "We invented them!" I got a standing ovation from the class because they were tired of his attitude.
 
I used to tell my older students what it was like when I was there age. One girl got really mad because her generation didn't have the freedom that we had. One young man pointed out that we didn't have video games. "No, we didn't," I said. "We invented them!" I got a standing ovation from the class because they were tired of his attitude.
HAHA! Good one guess that shut him down for the day. And with no access to internet, we actually had to go to the library and find and read books to research term papers and such.
 
HAHA! Good one guess that shut him down for the day. And with no access to internet, we actually had to go to the library and find and read books to research term papers and such.

I loved to browse through the card catalog! While waiting for my books, I'd see titles, authors and subjects that interested me and request some of those books too.
 
A bit of advice.......

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
 
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