Depression

[temp256]

My depression keeps getting worse, and I don't know what to do. I have almost no interest in anything. I don't even have a reason to get up in the morning. I have no tangible friends, and a family who nags more than helps. I've been to psychiatrists, taken pills, but nothing helps.

What can I do?

 

[sparc101]

Depression can be a difficult thing to both deal with and to fix. However, I think a big part of depression comes with being bored... being alone and not having anything to keep you occupied. Yes there are ways to deal with depression via certain drugs.. .but finding the correct "forumula" can be difficult.

I find this helps.... Write a list of things you want to do, you need to do, etc... over the course of a day, a week and a year. When you wake in the morning, look at that list and force yourself to get up and do something off of that list. Maybe bake some cookies, maybe make something. But try to fill your day with doing things. Sometimes it helps to meet other people. Good luck and keep thinking positive.

 

[Hotat21]

During school, I was always the outsider and when summer came along, I was always on the verge of depression because I knew that no one would want to hang out with me. But what kept me from getting depressed was keeping ym self busy. I found places where I was wanted and used those to keep my depression at bar for the summer.

 

[yoshimitsu]

I think friends can help a lot but trying to make friends and failing can also make it harder. It's kinda tricky that way but it's no good reason not to try.
Another thing I have found is down energy tends to attract down energy and positive energy attracts positive energy. When socializing try to put out a positive vibe. If you can get happy excited people in your life it will probably help you more than finding a bunch of depressed goths to hang out with. But sometimes even being part of a down crowd is more fun than doing it on your own.
One idea I just had is to see if there are any groups in your area that deal with depression and check them out.
If you can't find much then start your own. Print up some flyers, do a little promo work and I bet you find some others who are looking for company and support. If you find a group or start a group though make sure it has an atmosphere that suports growth and moving out of it and not wallowing in the problems.

You say you have almost no interest in anything which means you must have some interest in something right?
I know when I am angry or depressed the best thing for me is a high adrenaline activity like dirt biking or snowboarding. Sometimes it's nice to go bash around on my own and others it's nice to find a couple friends to go out with me. Either way it usually helps.

I never had success with therapists but it is still always my recommendation to stick with one, especially if you can find a good one. They may not be able to "fix" you but they should be able to speed up the process.
For me it has been a long hard road and for a long time it wasn't easy to see the progress I had made but one day I woke up and realized I really am much happier than I was 5 or 10 years ago. Now I am in a place where life is still not perfect but every day I wake up feeling a tiny bit better, those bad days don't hurt nearly as much, and those painful moments are more of an intense rush I know I can move through than something that takes me down long term.
Hopefully you will be able to say the same a few years down the road, perhaps sooner if you can do better than I did.

 

[Hotat21]

Well.. you don't seem as bad off as some depresed people I know. For 1 thing, you've posted here that you are depressed and acknoweldging it is the first step to getting better. It seems that you want ot do something, but don;t know what. Try going splashing through puddles or get the cheesiest movie ever and try to laugh. Write everything down and then burn it. Do something nice for yourself.

 

[erodream351]

xxxxx

 

[yoshimitsu]

2)exercise!! it's a great mood booster and a way that your body naturally makes more serotonin. it'll help boost your immune system, which depression can take a serious toll on (not to mention, it's hard not to feel better when you look better!) it also gives you a tangible way to show that you can really change things in your life, and that you have some control over things.

I agree but I also have a hell of a time motivating myself to try to exercise. Especially when I am feeling down. The best solution for me is finding activities that I really enjoy and look forward to despite my mood that involve physical activity. Then once I realize how out of shape I am to do the things I want to do it motivates me more to do other things to keep in shape.

 

[Hippychic]

Does anyone ever wonder if you've been to Psychiatrists, therapists, taken every pill that's known for depression, that maybe it's not depression? Especially as far as the meds go. I'm just curious.

 

[DrHappy]

• How many anti-depressants have your tried? Maybe you haven't found the right one for you. They're just like anti-histamines. What works for one person may not work for the next person.
• Have you had your thyroid checked lately?
• Are you getting some counseling? Medication combined with counseling is one of the most effective treatments.

I'm rooting for you.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Does anyone ever wonder if you've been to Psychiatrists, therapists, taken every pill that's known for depression, that maybe it's not depression? Especially as far as the meds go. I'm just curious.

I always felt depression was a pretty clear emotion or combination of emotions but I am sure it's different for every one.
I do believe that the mind is stronger (or can be) Than any drug or influence therefore even the strongest drug or best therapist doesn't guarantee success.
I tried many different things to no avail but I am quite sure it was mostly my mental resistance to it. For me it was a matter of time and being surrounded by the right environment and people.
A great example of this has happened to me very recently.
Over the past 10 years I have been slowly digging my way out of a deep emotional hole. 6 months ago I was doing the best I ever had but I still doubt my friends would call me a light or happy individual. Of course it also doesn't help when everyone treats you like the dark and depressed one. It can make it that much harder to dig your way out.
Anyway I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 5+ years and even though it was an awesome relationship it was still very liberating to be out. I was ready to move forward and better myself as much as possible.
A couple months later I met a girl who seemed so vibrant it inspired me to feed off it. We met online first and she always ended messages with something like "Have a wonderful day gorgeous" " I hope you have an awesome weekend" Etc and I realized I never end a message like that.
The more I got to know her the more she inspired me to be joyous and she always put a smile on my face which I kept more and more even when we weren't together. I started telling other people to have a wonderful day and started feeling like life is so much more fun when you are happy and with people who inspire that.
Anyway drugs didn't do much for me, therapists didn't either but I never really gave them the chance.
In the end it was people and enviroment which did the most for me.
Kind of ironic since I am an antisocial introvert who like to bitch about people and the world but hey

 

[gmcvanguy]

Depression removers

I have to agree with sparc101. Keep busy. Easy to say, but more difficult to do. That general feeling of.....(malaise, intrinsic inertia, lack of interest) can make getting up & doing something difficult. I find that when I'm depressed (and so far except for once I haven't felt the need for medical intervention.....maybe some day....)taking a walk....as far as you can and still get home in a reasonable time helps. Work around the house may stimulate activity in other areas. Reading can help....even going to a flick....so long as it isn't depressing. Join an exercise group or go to the "Y" and use the exercise machines. I'm not a religious person, but joining a church, synagogue, temple or mosque and becoming active in it can help. And, AND...find a therapist you like. It may well take a few visits with (many?) therapists or psychological counselors (including MDs or DOs).....your personalities MUST "click," and that can take some time to find one. Depression is a real PAIN!!!, but as a Psychiatrist once told me when I went to him for depression due to a failing marriage, "Frank, I can't make you happy!! You have to do that yourself." So I did. I got divorced and lived happily (more or less) ever after (so far.)

 

[Guest]

maybe this is were i should post......please....keep in mind that these are just thoughts and that i truly don't intend to carry them out.

for so long i've had depression and anxiety and I am getting help for these things but, why is it that when you talk about how you feel such as suicidal thoughts (which i've been having quite a bit) and how depressed you are people suddenly go on the defensive and start saying stuff like 'lifes is hard, deal with it' or don't talk about that stuff because it's messed up'.

i will admit that posting my feelings on Lit will cause anyone to read and make opinions of me but, why don't people take the time to really try an understand??

it makes my depression worse when people say how i'm suppose to not talk about how i feel and that i should get help, especially when i'm already getting help.

(Please, if all you're going to say is cruel and hurtful things in response, don't bother to reply.)

 

[rydia57]

Not only does exercise help, so does yoga, and writing. When I was sixteen I was depressed and my parents put me in group therapy. The shrink I had there told me to write down everything that happened to me everyday. She would read it. I told her nothing happens to me. She said she didn't care if i woke up, ate soup and went to bed, just write it all down, so I did. She kept reading it and asking me what happened between what and what times so I had more and more to wite. I think she turned me into a writer. But hey it like what someone up there says helps to acknowledge it... and talk about it.

 

[yoshimitsu]

maybe this is were i should post......please....keep in mind that these are just thoughts and that i truly don't intend to carry them out.

for so long i've had depression and anxiety and I am getting help for these things but, why is it that when you talk about how you feel such as suicidal thoughts (which i've been having quite a bit) and how depressed you are people suddenly go on the defensive and start saying stuff like 'lifes is hard, deal with it' or don't talk about that stuff because it's messed up'.

Maybe you are just talking to the wrong people.
I know some people are very understanding and helpful, others don't know how to respond or don't want to think about it themselves and others IMO get overly concerned and freak out but I also understand this reaction. Once you start talking about suicidal thoughts it's hard for another person to get a good gauge of where you are at and if you are just throwing lightweight thoughts around or if you could actually be dead in 24 hours. For me it's usually on the lighter side. I have thought about it, more so when I was younger. I don't talk about these things with many people and only those I know care and are there for me. I would say the reactions you got are pretty harsh and the last thing someone in that state of mind really needs to hear.

 

[Guest]

Maybe you are just talking to the wrong people.
I know some people are very understanding and helpful, others don't know how to respond or don't want to think about it themselves and others IMO get overly concerned and freak out but I also understand this reaction. Once you start talking about suicidal thoughts it's hard for another person to get a good gauge of where you are at and if you are just throwing lightweight thoughts around or if you could actually be dead in 24 hours. For me it's usually on the lighter side. I have thought about it, more so when I was younger. I don't talk about these things with many people and only those I know care and are there for me. I would say the reactions you got are pretty harsh and the last thing someone in that state of mind really needs to hear.

you know, my therapist always tells me it's better to talk about it then do it......now i'm told on Lit i'm not allowed because "it's fucked up". i will admit that posting my thoughts on Lit in a blurt thread just asks for trouble. believe me, i'll NEVER post my feelings on here again. i just feel even worse because people just didn't stop and think about their hurtful words.

 

[yoshimitsu]

you know, my therapist always tells me it's better to talk about it then do it......now i'm told on Lit i'm not allowed because "it's fucked up". i will admit that posting my thoughts on Lit in a blurt thread just asks for trouble. believe me, i'll NEVER post my feelings on here again. i just feel even worse because people just didn't stop and think about their hurtful words.

Well one thing I have learned is not to get to emotional or sensitive in the General board, the playground or many other places on lit. The How to area seems to have a different crowd and feel overall.
On the other hand I checked out some of your posts and threads and saw a lot of positive responses from others. You should feel good about that. I did see some negative responses and I am sure I missed some but this is the internet. Not everybody is going to be your best friend or always tell you what you want to hear. Don't let them get to you. Take every post with a grain of salt and know that we all get our share of shit on here. Especially if you want to play in the GB
Don't let the Aholes get to you and focus on the people around here who make you happy.

 

[Disrupted]

you know, my therapist always tells me it's better to talk about it then do it......now i'm told on Lit i'm not allowed because "it's fucked up".

I believe your therapist is right. For one, being able to express those thoughts can help lead to reflection. Letting them out of your system through constructive activities serves as a far better alternative than resorting to self-destructive methods that are short-term solutions at best.

i will admit that posting my thoughts on Lit in a blurt thread just asks for trouble. believe me, i'll NEVER post my feelings on here again. i just feel even worse because people just didn't stop and think about their hurtful words.

Many people usually do not review their actions before performing them. I need not bring up the example of how easy it can be to cause unnecessary suffering from doing unintended things while caught up in emotions.

It may not help that this is an online medium. Through semblances of anonymity and the lack of interaction in person, it is not difficult to spout garbage without giving it a second thought, unaware of the possibility that there are others who can be hurt.

There are also some who (for one reason or another) try to bring other people down. Keep this in mind.

Take care, and please try not to let others get to you if they do not deserve that sort of recognition.

 

[Guest]

thank you so very much.

i just finished talking with friend of mine and even though i'm still not feeling great....i know that these intense feeling will subside....

it's a bitch though....depression can be a nightmare at times but at least i know that i'm doing everything i can to help myself

thank you for 'listening'...it truly does help

 

[yoshimitsu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgzHrI61CuM

 

[Guest]

i'm on dial-up so i wouldn't be able to view that....takes a half hour to load those things

 

[yoshimitsu]

Bummer
it's the sunscreen song by Baz Luhrman

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ?9...Wear sunscreen


If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...Youre not as fat as you imagine.

Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Dont feel guilty if you dont know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.

Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont, maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...dont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument youll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

49 second break in speech -- Quindon singing

Get to know your parents, youll never know when theyll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful who's advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

 

[Guest]

Bummer
it's the sunscreen song by Baz Luhrman

i've heard that before when i had dsl.....very funny

 

[Cathleen]

Please know I do not wish to disrupt this thread but thought I'd share this link on despression as well. There are some excellent posts on this thread - thanks for sharing.

Depression etc

 

[yoshimitsu]

Please know I do not wish to disrupt this thread but thought I'd share this link on despression as well. There are some excellent posts on this thread - thanks for sharing.

Depression etc

Sometimes I can be kinda dense but I don't see that a contribution on topic would be a disruption.

 

[Guest]

Sometimes I can be kinda dense but I don't see that a contribution on topic would be a disruption.

i agree