Kinks - how open are you about them?

I mean one is simple. Because I wear glasses someone there is a often time ask to wear to finish on that and face haha.

There is also a person I knew, and he wanted to have sex at his working cubicle area.
He’s wanted to, did you oblige him?
 
Share your kinks and tell us who knows about them, your family, friends, coworkers or are you secretive about them and keep your kinks hidden in your closet.
Wife knows about most of my kinks and helps me out. She’s not 100% into all of it but for much of it, she’s a great sport and partner.

Family: my sister knows a bit abt wife and I sexual/power dynamic No real details. No one else knows tho and we’ve kept discussions very high level.

Friends: not really. I’ve hinted at some things but wouldn’t really go there.

Coworkers: same as above.
 
Telling my friends about my wife kink is out of the question they'd never understand, and it would blow their minds. On here I obviously will talk about it with others Lit people. The others on the outside that know about my fantasies or kinks are the men and women we've hooked up with and one of my closest friends who is no longer with us.
 
I mostly keep it to myself. When I was at uni I was openly bisexual. Since I've moved back home and got into a serious relationship (with a guy) I'm more of a "don't ask, don't tell" person. It seems like the older I get, the less sex is a topic of conversation when I'm with my friends. Some of them know I am bisexual but it hasn't been mentioned for a long time now. I haven't told any of my real life friends about the threesome that me and my husband had, I would like to but I'm not exactly sure I trust everyone to keep their mouth shut.
 
So how open and uninhibited are you with your kinks.

Open, with anyone who wants to know.
Uninhibited- with my partner, fully. If they're my kinks I like them, and if they're hers, I may veto some activities I would feel unhappy to engage in but anything close to neutral or better, I am down for.


Share your kinks and tell us who knows about them, your family, friends, coworkers or are you secretive about them and keep your kinks hidden in your closet.

When I came out as trans, I spoke to a couple dozen of my friends and asked them does this make me trans, does this, does this, or is this something cisgender heterosexual men do.

For example, cross dressing.

If someone wears women's lingerie and shaves off their body hair, that does NOT mean they are trans. They could be men who like to present as feminine and like to cross dress. This is a male crossdresser.

Am I one of those?

I had to go down the list.

There were a lot of things where it was the case that, yes.... a heterosexual cisgender man MAY in fact do these things, but it's really unusual.

But there were some things that just screamed trans, like the button question.

If it cost me no money, and I could push a button right now and be a beautiful woman, head to toe. Completely female. But I can never change back, ever. It's female forever.

But I can still be attracted to women, let's say, which I would be.

Do I push that button?

The really sad part is I thought I was cisgender my entire life and I'd have pushed that button at age "18" without hesitation. As soon as I was aware I prefer to look like a woman.

I wasn't aware trans people existed back then, this was the 1990s, the internet wasn't super widespread, information on sexual topics wasn't easy to know where to find it, and sex education was horrendous in the 1980s onward.

All I knew about was cisgender heterosexuals.

In the early days of internet chats, my desire to be female led me to chat rooms for gay and bisexual men. I figured, okay, I dress like a woman, that means I must want a male partner, right?

No.

I flirted, I tried to make that work, I had explicit sexual conversations that did nothing. I only ever got desire for romance or sex from a female adult person.

And.... my understanding was, women were either lesbians and only interested in women with vulvas and breasts, or, they wanted men.

Male men, manly men, hairy men, big strong burly men who wear male clothes and have beards and short hair. Only male attributes.

It never crossed my mind a woman could want me, but.... feminine.

Until one day I spoke with a woman who liked feminized guys, who dress and live as women, and she called me Ariel, and talked about how I would grow my hair long for her, which I would, and then we would kiss and snuggle and I'd have no body hair, and just women's clothing and lingerie 24/7, and I'd have a tattoo of her name right above my ass.

And it was nice, I loved that relationship. It was everything I wanted, I felt like a beautiful, feminine woman, and I also got to have a relationship with a beautiful, feminine woman.

I didn't realize there were more like her. Even after that, I felt it was a fluke, so I just lived and dressed and behaved and presented masculine my whole life, for 3 decades.

And during that entire time, whenever I looked in the mirror at the average height, average attractiveness male that I saw, I hated myself.

I hated who I saw in the mirror. No pictures, no videos, no recordings of my voice, please. No mirrors.

I never wanted to be that man. It upset me so much to see me as him.

It still does. Transitioning is expensive and also, irreversible and I am absolutely certain once I do, the couple dozen handfuls of women on this planet that would ever be interested in dating me, I'll never meet.

I am strongly considering just presenting male the rest of my life so I won't be alone.

But to answer your question, I told my friends my entire sexual history, all my kinks, everything that would truly shame and embarrass me if I gave a shit about being masculine.

I'm not, it's just that those are the hormones and chromosomes I was born with. So I can look like an average guy, and be masculine.

The more masculine I am, the less I want to see myself, but yeah.

There's a woman inside of me that's only happy when I'm beautiful and feminine. But she can't come out in our society.... governments and employers WILL persecute me and make my life miserable and almost all women will stop dating me.

I'm not happy being who I am and I can't be who I am meant to be.

Kinks-
My fascination with giving oral sex to women has to be classified as a kink, I'd do it for hours every day and enjoy it. I have, before, in several relationships, I'm basically a free use oral slut.
I'm a D in the D/s relationship, or, we can switch, or we can not have D/s thing going on, but I prefer to be a service dominant.
I love the breeding/impregnation/bareback kink, it can be fantasy, it can be roleplay, it can be taking the risk, or one of us can be a person who can't have kids and we just enjoy the closeness and the feeling of no condoms. It is lovely any way you slice it.
I am an exhibitionist, I've had sex in public and also, in full view of others, with my girlfriends, several times. It's always been fun.
I have done age gap relationships, generally older women, 5 years older would be my average, but I was with a woman for 10 years who was 17 years older than me. Best relationship I ever had. I am now old enough that someone 5-10-15 years younger is now not only quite legal, but also, not that strange, you're talking someone in their mid 20s at the youngest. If she wants a "daddy" or older romantic partner, I'm here.
So I am open to folks between 20s to 50 or so as my partner, As I age the upper age limit will go up. I also think soon, 20s will be too young as we do have a larger and larger gap in perspectives and attitudes and if she wants to start a family, I will be too old for that to be realistic or responsible within about 10 years, as I'm in my early 40s. You want someone with energy and when I'm in my mid 50s that's too old I think.
I do not mind role reversal, or swapping or partner sharing if that is something SHE wants to do. It's more like, a kink I am open to, but would not ask her for. Similarly, I do not mind licking her pussy after we've had sex, or kissing her deeply after she just gave me a hot blowie.
That's all fine, it's just our bodily fluids, sharing them doesn't give me pause. If it gives her a thrill, I am in, and if she just wants a romantic kiss after we've had oral sex with each other, I don't fucking care if my cum is on her, I'm kissing her.
https://bdsmtest.org/r/kXGJtJLr
All this and thensome.
I am open to oral sex giving and receiving, and anal sex as well. I even enjoy giving analingus to women.
I'm a service dominant.
 
Continued, due to character limit.

Do yo actually indulge in your kinks and have you made any effort from your end to indulge in them. Or you just keep your kinks as a fantasy.
I have done almost everything I just said. These are not fantasies, I live this life, fully.

I have developed many kinks over the years and have been indulging in them. Exhibitionism and being naughty / risky in public is one of my kink which I have worked to to make it a part of my daily life. I don't hide it from friends and family any longer and the result has been that many of my friends and family have chosen to ignore me.

Excellent, same, same.

But do I care, I don't think so. Life is too short and time will go so fast that soon I will be regretting that I did not enjoy myself. So I have really stopped caring what people think or say and do things which give me sexual pleasures.
Please do share your thoughts on this subject.
Same, except, if my partner doesn't share my kinks or cannot accept me as trans, my choices are, be alone forever, or adapt.

I am leaning adapt, to my sorrow, but if I can find a good companion in life everything will still be okay.

I don't have a need for a bareback kink more than I have the need for a loving partner in life.
 
In the past, I had partners I couldn’t trust enough to be open with about all of my kinks. I had concerns that they would judge me, view me differently, or even simply not understand it the way I did. The last one was the most prevalent, really, as it was unlikely I would be engaging sexually with anyone who would demean me in any way. But there’s generally a lot of nuance to my kinks, and the problem I’d often run into was beginning to share, and my partner would seize on the aspects that appealed to him and stop listening to the aspects that appealed to me. Then it would always end up bending away from my fantasy and into his. It’s not that I don’t wish to indulge my partner’s fantasies - I do a lot of that - but I would like mine to be heard as well, so it’s a very frustrating experience. This was the experience I had with my ex-husband, so I just stopped trying to share anything with him because it never turned out like I wanted.

Recently, however, I’ve had a partner who is incredibly open to listening and understanding. As a result, I’ve been fortunate enough to successfully share a number of my kinks with him, and we’ve experienced most of them together. Because he’s so open and communicative, we were even able to build upon them, expand, collaborate, to create new fantasies that were ours. That’s really how it should be, and I wish more relationships could be the same.
 
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