Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Bassytian]

You as well!

I got over being sick, and then had a case of allergies for several days. I decided to do a little early Spring cleaning on Monday, stirred up some dust which I'm highly allergic to, and paid the price. It's the hard knock life for me!

If that song got stuck in your head because of me, you're welcome!

 

[Wetkitty09]

You as well!

I got over being sick, and then had a case of allergies for several days. I decided to do a little early Spring cleaning on Monday, stirred up some dust which I'm highly allergic to, and paid the price. It's the hard knock life for me!

If that song got stuck in your head because of me, you're welcome!

Ok. I’m glad you’re feeling better even with the allergies but it’s really not nice to put an earworm like that out in the world.

 

[Crownvic]

The sounds of silence...

 

[Sam2b8]

It’s a killer alrite

 

[Bassytian]

Ok. I’m glad you’re feeling better even with the allergies but it’s really not nice to put an earworm like that out in the world.

I can be a real stinker sometimes, I can't help myself.

 

[EvaLane]

There's a trend on TikTok that wrecks me every time I see it. This piece, created by user k3nli_0, hit especially hard - it resembles my own, though I'm not quite brave enough to share mine publicly.

The exercise itself was brutal.

I wonder if it could be adapted here, maybe in a more literal way.

Where do you feel your emotions? Sadness, anger, lust - where do they settle in your body? And how do they shape you?

 

[Crownvic]

View attachment 2509561

There's a trend on TikTok that wrecks me every time I see it. This piece, created by user k3nli_0, hit especially hard - it resembles my own, though I'm not quite brave enough to share mine publicly.

The exercise itself was brutal.

I wonder if it could be adapted here, maybe in a more literal way.

Where do you feel your emotions? Sadness, anger, lust - where do they settle in your body? And how do they shape you?

Excellent diagram..

 

[Bassytian]

Hey there, hope everyone is well. A bit melancholy myself and tired today, but nothing I can't handle. Did some work around the house to get my mind off things but resting has brought it all back.

Where do you feel your emotions? Sadness, anger, lust - where do they settle in your body? And how do they shape you?

Let's see... I tend to feel self hatred/pity in my shoulders and upper to middle back, anger and sadness well up in my temples. I haven't really paid attention to where I feel my other emotions. I don't feel much of anything else if I'm being honest, can't remember the last time I was truly happy about something outside of getting positive feedback on my writing. My story is all that really keeps me going these days.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Is it possible to be happy yet depressed?
Like I'm not complaining, nothing is wrong. I just have thoughts that make me doubt my worth...
Kinda a weird day.

 

[Bassytian]

Is it possible to be happy yet depressed?
Like I'm not complaining, nothing is wrong. I just have thoughts that make me doubt my worth...
Kinda a weird day.

I suppose it’s possible, being happy but with lingering self-doubt in the back of your mind. If you struggle with depression at all, it’s probably very rare to be 100% happy for extended periods of time. But that’s my non-clinical-but-wanting-to-be-helpful-anyway opinion.

Without knowing what’s going on, just know that your self worth is far greater than what your doubts say, or what anyone else says for that matter.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I suppose it’s possible, being happy but with lingering self-doubt in the back of your mind. If you struggle with depression at all, it’s probably very rare to be 100% happy for extended periods of time. But that’s my non-clinical-but-wanting-to-be-helpful-anyway opinion.

Without knowing what’s going on, just know that your self worth is far greater than what your doubts say, or what anyone else says for that matter.

Thank you...i appreciate this

 

[SissyBrandi19]

When you try and kill yourself and they're trying not stop that from happening?

They are NOT gentle. They said they gave me drugs to forget. They lied. I don't get it. Why would you try and save someone who doesn't want to exist? It baffles me. "But what about the people who care about you?" OK? Like...? Or you mean...? I guess I gave the medical staff a....exciting evening? Chance to practice some skills? And now it's 14 years later and...it's 14 years later. Don't wait for me to advise "don't do it!"....I mean...who knows better than the person? Right? The idea that a person can tell me I did the "wrong" thing? Well yeah, I did it wrong, we agree on that. Cuz I wasn't asking for attention. It should have worked. Still baffled as to how it didn't but...oh well. It's rather pretentious to tell someone you have no knowledge of, that they are making any kind of mistake. Especially someone who is literally alone I say this only because...who was depending on me? Nobody. Who honestly...would have cared? Nobody. And that was not the basis of my decision. I like alone. I like it a lot. It's probably not for most people but it works for me. Ironically, I never feel lonely, which when I was around people? I did. So...this is peaceful, I'm productive, I'm myself...weird...and no consequences. Not that anyone would ask because why would you, but just...if you're tempted to ask? Don't. Don't ask why. Is not...this...answer enough? Would I try again? Um...yeah...no plans but it'd be stupid to say no. And if I do? Nobody...will care! And I'm ok with that. So...all the hallmark bullshit? C'mon. Nobody cares. Let me go further...NOTHING cares. No entity...no Invisible Sky Fairy...and how is that a bad thing? I kind of like the fact that I could pick up this pistol I have right next to me, take myself out...and the world is unaffected. That's kind of nice! Nobody will be depressed, miss me,....why would that bother me? Or anyone? It's very..."circle of life"...for me. I was a fucking mistake...an error in judgment...a "sin"...and my incubator bolted the minute I popped out. Legend has it she bolted so fast the umbilical cord was taut! ANd those were the GOOD parents! They at least didn't try and off me. The next ones did! And do I remember? Yes and no...the memory exists...can't retrieve them...my R eye which has no function remembers. I wasn't born blind. So...that's the world. Born? Who gives a fuck. Die? WHo gives a fuck. And in between? Who. Gives. A. Fuck. If you do something really good? Maybe. Something bad? Then they give a fuck. But...Fucks are becoming endangered. Fewer and fewer Fucks in the wild. And if I sound like I"m feeling sorry for myself? Hardly! I was born a white male in the U.S. I may have been around some less than steller humans (presumed humans)? But please...I've got it better than 99.9999% of humanity. I had more bones broken in my first 6 months than 99.99% of people in a lifetime BUT...I've never experienced food scarcity. And here I am now...independent, roof, food, water, toys...drugs...and me? I'm just a...just a happy-to-lucky psychopath. I put my pants on one leg at a time just like you all...and then I have a heated discussion with the coffee maker! And then spend the next 30 minutes kicking out the shadow people...hey shadow people, ya don't' have to go home but you can't stay here! They complain...and comply.

 

[summer_reine]

When you try and kill yourself and they're trying not stop that from happening?

They are NOT gentle. They said they gave me drugs to forget. They lied. I don't get it. Why would you try and save someone who doesn't want to exist? It baffles me. "But what about the people who care about you?" OK? Like...? Or you mean...? I guess I gave the medical staff a....exciting evening? Chance to practice some skills? And now it's 14 years later and...it's 14 years later. Don't wait for me to advise "don't do it!"....I mean...who knows better than the person? Right? The idea that a person can tell me I did the "wrong" thing? Well yeah, I did it wrong, we agree on that. Cuz I wasn't asking for attention. It should have worked. Still baffled as to how it didn't but...oh well. It's rather pretentious to tell someone you have no knowledge of, that they are making any kind of mistake. Especially someone who is literally alone I say this only because...who was depending on me? Nobody. Who honestly...would have cared? Nobody. And that was not the basis of my decision. I like alone. I like it a lot. It's probably not for most people but it works for me. Ironically, I never feel lonely, which when I was around people? I did. So...this is peaceful, I'm productive, I'm myself...weird...and no consequences. Not that anyone would ask because why would you, but just...if you're tempted to ask? Don't. Don't ask why. Is not...this...answer enough? Would I try again? Um...yeah...no plans but it'd be stupid to say no. And if I do? Nobody...will care! And I'm ok with that. So...all the hallmark bullshit? C'mon. Nobody cares. Let me go further...NOTHING cares. No entity...no Invisible Sky Fairy...and how is that a bad thing? I kind of like the fact that I could pick up this pistol I have right next to me, take myself out...and the world is unaffected. That's kind of nice! Nobody will be depressed, miss me,....why would that bother me? Or anyone? It's very..."circle of life"...for me. I was a fucking mistake...an error in judgment...a "sin"...and my incubator bolted the minute I popped out. Legend has it she bolted so fast the umbilical cord was taut! ANd those were the GOOD parents! They at least didn't try and off me. The next ones did! And do I remember? Yes and no...the memory exists...can't retrieve them...my R eye which has no function remembers. I wasn't born blind. So...that's the world. Born? Who gives a fuck. Die? WHo gives a fuck. And in between? Who. Gives. A. Fuck. If you do something really good? Maybe. Something bad? Then they give a fuck. But...Fucks are becoming endangered. Fewer and fewer Fucks in the wild. And if I sound like I"m feeling sorry for myself? Hardly! I was born a white male in the U.S. I may have been around some less than steller humans (presumed humans)? But please...I've got it better than 99.9999% of humanity. I had more bones broken in my first 6 months than 99.99% of people in a lifetime BUT...I've never experienced food scarcity. And here I am now...independent, roof, food, water, toys...drugs...and me? I'm just a...just a happy-to-lucky psychopath. I put my pants on one leg at a time just like you all...and then I have a heated discussion with the coffee maker! And then spend the next 30 minutes kicking out the shadow people...hey shadow people, ya don't' have to go home but you can't stay here! They complain...and comply.

Sweety, shit sucks. I won't deny that and I won't try to convince you otherwise. Tomorrow will probably be awful too. And the next day? *Shrug* I hope tomorrow will be better for me. If not, well. I got through today. And today was garbage, hell, it wasn't even worth throwing in the trash. I have to admit that I read maybe 10% of your post. But I admire that you spoke, er.. wrote what you did.

 

[Bassytian]

Thank you...i appreciate this

No problemo!

Got a bit of the blues today. I'm emotionally and physically tired, but at the very least, the latest chapter of my series is coming along quite well. I want to make a big entrance for the story's second half and I'm quite pleased with how is it turning out so far, but there is still work to be done.

 

[smtst5]

This week is kicking my ass. Would they even miss me?

 

[Bassytian]

This week is kicking my ass. Would they even miss me?

Someone will. Not to make this about me, but my brother died this morning. He felt that no one would miss him, boy was he wrong. He was a very troubled man, we tried and tried to help him but he wouldn’t let us.

To anyone reading this, please get help if you need it, please.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Someone will. Not to make this about me, but my brother died this morning. He felt that no one would miss him, boy was he wrong. He was a very troubled man, we tried and tried to help him but he wouldn’t let us.

To anyone reading this, please get help if you need it, please.

I'm so sorry losing a sibling is horrific. My sister is gone, and in her situation, she was both physically and mentally ill.
It's been 20 years this June, and I still grieve at times.

Can I offer you a ?

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

This week is kicking my ass. Would they even miss me?

I do hope the week improved for you

 

[Bassytian]

I'm so sorry losing a sibling is horrific. My sister is gone, and in her situation, she was both physically and mentally ill.
It's been 20 years this June, and I still grieve at times.

Can I offer you a ?

You can, thank you. I’m sorry for your loss as well.

He had been an addict on and off for years, and recently said that he didn’t care if he lived or died, his heavy drug use and reckless behavior showed it. We tried everything, interventions, forced rehab, but he never wanted to stop. In the end, it seems to have ended the way he wanted it to.

 

[Bassytian]

The loss of my brother (stepbrother, but still a sibling) hit us harder than the loss of any other loved one due to the sudden and traumatic nature of it. I think we will be okay, given enough time, but we will never be the same.

It's forced me to take a look at myself in a way I probably wouldn't have otherwise. You see, he had been abusing drugs since before his dad married my mom 20 years ago. He put my family and his own through hell and nearly tore their marriage apart, and I hated him for it. It came to a head in 2016 when he began threatening us, saying that if we called the police one more time, "we would never be found". At that point, I was prepared to load up my shotgun and kill him myself, but they called his bluff and called the police anyway. After that, he was forced into rehab in Raleigh NC. He spent a year there and spent the rest of his life there after getting out.

For a long time, even after he turned his life around, got married, and got a great paying job, I still hated him and held everything he put us through against him. The hatred did eventually die and I was even happy for him, but I still wanted little to do with him. But over the past year, he fell back into it and harder than ever. Though the hatred I held for him didn't return, I found myself wanting him to stay away from us.

And then, Saturday, we received the news from his wife that he had overdosed and died while she was at work. After the initial shock, all I could think about was the hatred I felt for him. I'm ashamed that it took his death for me to realize that he was his own worst enemy, his own victim. Yes, he hurt people/us, threatened to kill us, but he was a good person when he was sober, that person is the one that deserves to be remembered.

I will live with this regret for the rest of my life, but I vow here and now to NEVER hate anyone for any reason ever again, regardless of their life choices, social/political beliefs, or any other reason period. And I include myself when I say "anyone", I don't want another ounce of hatred of any kind to ever enter my mind and heart again.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Death is so fucking powerful.
@Bassytian , after my sister died, I learned also not to hold grudges against the innocent ones I know need help. I learned to risk my pride and ego and tell those that I love that they're important to me.
Death is so hard... It sometimes takes it for us to learn to live.

 

[Helpme01]

I had a friend call to say he was thinking killing himself last week as I was talking him out of it he said if you love me why do you want me to keep hurting just so you don’t have to!! I couldn’t answer

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hey. My phone died last week and I’m just getting back.
Looks like a lot of shit has been happening while I was gone.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I’m pissed today. I suppose it’s better than the deep depression I’ve been in lately but I don’t feel like it’s an improvement.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Bassytian]

I had a friend call to say he was thinking killing himself last week as I was talking him out of it he said if you love me why do you want me to keep hurting just so you don’t have to!! I couldn’t answer

Sometimes, there isn't an immediate answer. People going through that have to find a reason to keep fighting the pain. As someone how has considered and even attempted suicide in the past, I had to search hard and find reasons to stay. For me, it's a combination of my loved ones, my hobbies (including writing), and the part of me that can't stand the thought of letting depression win.

That being said, no two people have the same journey. I hope your friend finds his reasons to keep fighting. It's not easy to do, especially when the pain is so intense that the depressed can't focus on anything else. It's okay to not be okay, but it's during the moments of clarity when those reasons to fight must be sought out.