Depression. It's a silent killer.

Along with depression, I am also subject to panic attacks. A year ago, the retirement community I live in had a New Year's Eve casino night at the dinner hour which was replete with noise, commotion, etc. Pushed me into a full blown panic attack where I literally ran out of the dining room . This year, I arranged to eat dinner in my apartment and avoided the casino night chaos. Peace and quiet! Glad to have foreseen and avoided the incident. Proud of myself, actually....
 
Hell is your wife of decades knowing you are hurt and responds with dead silence, blank stares into there phone, or worse, the "get over it speech".

Worse even yet, makes it point to rub it in. I could blow my brains out in front of her and she wouldn't flinch.

Complete void of human empathy.

Thats depressing.
 
I’ve been fortunate to be able to build a repertoire of tools to help me with most of the issues that come up in my life. Self care and regulation are two very important tools. I use them constantly and I know when things are going dark when one of those things slips. I am able, many times, to pull myself out of a slump by focusing on what brought on the slip before it became too bad.
Use the healthy tools available to you to find your relief.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Along with depression, I am also subject to panic attacks. A year ago, the retirement community I live in had a New Year's Eve casino night at the dinner hour which was replete with noise, commotion, etc. Pushed me into a full blown panic attack where I literally ran out of the dining room . This year, I arranged to eat dinner in my apartment and avoided the casino night chaos. Peace and quiet! Glad to have foreseen and avoided the incident. Proud of myself, actually....
As you should be.
 
I’ve been fortunate to be able to build a repertoire of tools to help me with most of the issues that come up in my life. Self care and regulation are two very important tools. I use them constantly and I know when things are going dark when one of those things slips. I am able, many times, to pull myself out of a slump by focusing on what brought on the slip before it became too bad.
Use the healthy tools available to you to find your relief.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
Excellent advice for the new year. Smart lady!
 
Morning from a mushy slushy eastern Washington state. Such a weird weather year so far.
The birds are a delight to watch out the window while I enjoy my coffee. Quail, Juncos and little brown birds with red heads.
Getting outside my head and enjoying the world around me helps keep the dark at bay.
Have the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Along with depression, I am also subject to panic attacks. A year ago, the retirement community I live in had a New Year's Eve casino night at the dinner hour which was replete with noise, commotion, etc. Pushed me into a full blown panic attack where I literally ran out of the dining room . This year, I arranged to eat dinner in my apartment and avoided the casino night chaos. Peace and quiet! Glad to have foreseen and avoided the incident. Proud of myself, actually....
Good call and good catch. Glad you saw it and were aware of it.
 
I’ve been fortunate to be able to build a repertoire of tools to help me with most of the issues that come up in my life. Self care and regulation are two very important tools. I use them constantly and I know when things are going dark when one of those things slips. I am able, many times, to pull myself out of a slump by focusing on what brought on the slip before it became too bad.
Use the healthy tools available to you to find your relief.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
That is learning and knowing oneself.
 
I know a lot about myself, my feelings and my mental awareness now to know how and where to reach out. I went into a very dark and very bad place late last year… maybe around early November. I told my doc during my annual checkup things were going dark. She told me to make use of the tools I had. She knows me.

November and December were rough. Really bad. SAD, ptsd dreams, depression, anxiety. I feel like I am over the hump now the holidays are behind me. It was so bad a few times that I didn’t see any way out.

The days are getting longer. The holidays are behind me. Feels sorta like w new years, there’s a feeling of a new start, although I am still very irritable.

I still have a lot to learn. There are times I hold myself to a ridiculously high standard. Compare myself to others. Sometimes I am too proud to reach out.
 
I’ve recently been dealing with the comparison issue. I’ve been having a talk with the woman in the mirror and letting her know she is enough. I don’t need to compete with anyone but myself.
Learning to accept and love myself is a challenge that I will always have. Some days are better than others. I’m learning to always choose what’s best for me and stop taking the shit hoping it’ll get better.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
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