Delving the Psyche of Sadists

[patrick1]

I suppose I feel that in our imaginations we play the role of the Other as well as the role of the 'I'. In then trying to progress from what we imagine to what we do, we assign to ourselves a particular role from the fantasy. A man who imagines a woman being whipped by a man assigns, when he approaches actually doing it, assigns to himself the male role, though of course in his dreams he plays the woman's role too, at least a little.

Or perhaps this is just because I write plays that I feel this: that I am in some ways all the characters I create and script.

Pardon me, this is more about the way this thread has gone that about the original questions.

patrick

 

[m wisdom]

I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

I don't get pleasure from giving pain to another person so that is why I don't think of myself as a sadist. The pleasure is from the secondary effects like obedience, control and power. All of this I can get in other ways then by giving pysical pain. Pain is only a tool to get a desired result, it's not the main thing. Pain is only used for discipline or to make a person open themself up (tearing down the defenses as RJ said).

Small amounts of pain can be used in a scene but then it's only about the sensation, not about actually hurting that person.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Will have to let Francisco know this thread is here and see if he can make time to add his voice. I think I am safe in saying he derives pleasure from inflicting pain, witnessing the various expressions of that pain.....nothing seems to arouse him more than seeing I am in pain from his touch, his desires, to see it in my face, hear it in my breathing and voice, watch my tears flow which brings about another wave of pleasure for him. He does get off on power exchange, but his sadism does not necessarily act as a tool to foster that exchange, more as an addition because he can and knows I welcome it almost always. Even if I don't, he is finding it can still arouse him which is not where I think he has felt free to be in past relationships. I think we are both finding a freedom to consider the possibility to explore darker realms we formerly relegated to 'only in our fantasy' realms before....where it will lead us and how we survive it remains to be seen.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

I don't get pleasure from giving pain to another person so that is why I don't think of myself as a sadist. The pleasure is from the secondary effects like obedience, control and power. All of this I can get in other ways then by giving pysical pain. Pain is only a tool to get a desired result, it's not the main thing. Pain is only used for discipline or to make a person open themself up (tearing down the defenses as RJ said).

Small amounts of pain can be used in a scene but then it's only about the sensation, not about actually hurting that person.

Hmmm cruelty and pain are not only just physical.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

Hmmm cruelty and pain are not only just physical.

I've thought about this thread a lot. I know there is not a sadistic cell in my body. Just can't even imagine that.

Cruelty... don't want any part of that, either.

But the pain... I love the bruises and bites and waking up for days after aching all over. I sincerely miss that.

Yea, I've known a few satists ;-D and liked them a lot.

 

[sunfox]

I fall under both headings.. I can express sadistic desires sometimes, but am more reliably masochistic in what I enjoy.

One of my favorite quotes from one of the Laurell K. Hamilton books about Anita Blake is "There is nothing like waking up the morning after a good beating. It's like a hangover that covers your entire body." I don't necessarily care for true beatings.. but I really love feeling bruised and sore the next morning... keeps my mind on him all day long.

 

[m wisdom]

Re: Re: I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

Hmmm cruelty and pain are not only just physical.

I've thought about this thread a lot. I know there is not a sadistic cell in my body. Just can't even imagine that.

Cruelty... don't want any part of that, either.

But the pain... I love the bruises and bites and waking up for days after aching all over. I sincerely miss that.

Yea, I've known a few satists ;-D and liked them a lot.

I know pain and cruelty comes in many flavors.
The definition off a sadist is someone that obtains pleasure from inflicting pain on others and I don't get any pleasure from hurting anybody.

But ADR have a point, if someone likes pain then I don't mind giving them pain. In such a case I don't see it as hurting, I see it as giving pleasure.

It's a differens in hurting someone or giving them something they want. And it's in that differens that to me makes someone a sadist or not. A sadist dosen't care if the other person gets any pleasure while I do.

 

[Betticus]

Allright, ADR and Sunfox are making me all excited over here.

You are making me think about rough sex. The kind of sex where you have bruised inner thighs, are bruised inside from the hard, brutal fucking, have scratches and bruised, tender breasts.

Damnit.

 

[dolf]

You are making me think about rough sex. The kind of sex where you have bruised inner thighs, are bruised inside from the hard, brutal fucking, have scratches and bruised, tender breasts.

*sigh* xx

 

[Betticus]

*sigh* xx

You would get all that plus a trip over daddy's knee for a spanking with your little hands tied behind your back.

 

[dolf]

You would get all that plus a trip over daddy's knee for a spanking with your little hands tied behind your back.

thankyou Daddy.
xx

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

...But ADR have a point, if someone likes pain then I don't mind giving them pain. In such a case I don't see it as hurting, I see it as giving pleasure.

Just to be on point... bruised tits.

uh huh.

 

[Betticus]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't think of myself as a sadist but here is my take on the whole pain thing.

Just to be on point... bruised tits.

uh huh.

Let me clarify that. I don't mean anything like car accident bruised. Not black and blue. More like what you girls were talking about. Like bite marks that you can feel later on in the day or a bit of sensitivity.

I adore a womans body way too much to do any kind of permanent damage to her. I don't mind it if she can still feel me or where I was a few hours later. Maybe a bit of tenderness or soreness later on. It's nothing that hasn't been done to me that I didn't enjoy. Like the scratch marks or bite marks. Nothing like bite marks on your chest and scratches on your back.

I think rough sex should go both ways. If I don't feel that way then I can always go for bondage. The possibilities are endless.

 

[Betticus]

thankyou Daddy.
xx

You can thank me later.

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

Ok, I am a switch and I had never been really able to come up with a way to express the thoughts of my Dom/Sadist side until I read Betticus's original post on this thread. Thank you soooooo much. That is exactly what I have been thinking.

With that said, I am also somewhat complicated. My dominant side is definitely sadistic, but it is pretty well only directed at females. My submissive side is (up to this point) reserved exclusively for dealing with men, and only certain men at that. Also, while my dominant side is a sadist, my submissive side isn't really a masochist. Don't get me worng, I absolutely adore biting and scratching and rough sex. I love spending the next couple of days after a good fucking seeing bite marks on my neck or scratches on my back. It is just such an exhileratiing feeling. But I suppose the gender specific thing is just another avenue of discussion...

So, I guess what I'm getting at is IDs question. I know that the Dom part of me is a Sadist, but the sub in me isn't a masochist. Because of this, I don't really think the two necessarily have to be connected.

In public I have a very forceful personality and tend to dominate groups. When topics like BDSM have come up people automatically say that they can easily picture me in leather and 6" heels, brandishing a whip. I tend to get a wonderful laugh to myself every time someone says something like that. It just seems so funny because even though I do switch, I am primarily a sub.

Anyway, just a little more food for thought.

 

[sunfox]

So, I guess what I'm getting at is IDs question. I know that the Dom part of me is a Sadist, but the sub in me isn't a masochist. Because of this, I don't really think the two necessarily have to be connected.

In public I have a very forceful personality and tend to dominate groups. When topics like BDSM have come up people automatically say that they can easily picture me in leather and 6" heels, brandishing a whip. I tend to get a wonderful laugh to myself every time someone says something like that. It just seems so funny because even though I do switch, I am primarily a sub.

Anyway, just a little more food for thought.

I would have to say that I identify very much with your personality, Wednesday'sRose. I have a similar personality, very forceful and alpha in social gatherings... I don't switch, and don't have much of an interest in it. But I am always pegged as the crop wielding Domme, when in truth, I like to be the one bent over, begging and crying while that crop cracks against my skin.

And Betticus... as for the making you excited thing... you can thank me later.

 

[Betticus]

I fall under both headings.. I can express sadistic desires sometimes, but am more reliably masochistic in what I enjoy.

One of my favorite quotes from one of the Laurell K. Hamilton books about Anita Blake is "There is nothing like waking up the morning after a good beating. It's like a hangover that covers your entire body." I don't necessarily care for true beatings.. but I really love feeling bruised and sore the next morning... keeps my mind on him all day long.

Don't tell anyone but I loved the Anita Blake vampire hunter series. I've even read some of the new faerie ones. The new series gets a lot deeper into the rough sex stuff.

 

[InnerDarkness]

Don't tell anyone but I loved the Anita Blake vampire hunter series. I've even read some of the new faerie ones. The new series gets a lot deeper into the rough sex stuff.

faerie stories??

 

[Betticus]

They are very dark and erotic and violent. A lot of the time the violence is dark and erotic. You would all like them.

 

[sunfox]

Don't tell anyone but I loved the Anita Blake vampire hunter series. I've even read some of the new faerie ones. The new series gets a lot deeper into the rough sex stuff.

I own every book of both... C buys me the new ones the day they come out without even needing to ask if I want them.

Definitely a guilty pleasure.. pun on the first book's name, of course, intended.

 

[Guest]

>>>Main Entry: metacognition
Function: noun
Definition: awareness and understanding one's thinking and cognitive processes; thinking about thinking <<<


Don't yah just hate it when something you read, or see, or hear, trips you over into an examination process of some aspect of your life, that you have been just fine with up till now???

Awareness of the motivations of ones actions, is to me at least, part and parcel with being Dominant.
Maintaining control of those actions is even more so.
*sigh*
So after staring at a couple of these posts for quite a while (lets not say which ones) I had to ask myself the question..
"Am I a Sadist?" and the answer is ..yup..
"Is it something that I keep under control ?" ..Indeed it is...Ususally.

With all the nice, complicated, bondage, furniture, whips, chains, etc. etc. etc...
All the things that I know how to make, and use.
There is nothing to replace the feeling of your teeth..on her skin..That rather delicious moment where you have to make the choice whether to ease off..or taste blood.
The feeling of her purely involuntary reactions, as her body grips you..

All the play with the toys is a sort of intellectual satisfaction..The same rough catagory as in doing sculpture, or painting, or playing a musical instrument.
Much more intense of course.
But watching the red marks pop up on white skin, watching the pattern made by the dripping wax..
Watching her back arch and her legs shake in orgasm.
Conciously playing with the line that interposes between pleasure and pain. And erasing that fiction.
Satisfy me in a much different way.

But there is nothing that replaces that longing to taste her ..To feel her struggle...personally.. To feel what her body does, when the sharp teeth are on her neck.

Hmm Am I a Sadist?...Nahhh...*grin* And neither is my cat.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

I'm more than tingly....in all the right ways.

Grrr....I guess I should go join the tormented thread too.

 

[dolf]

Grrr....I guess I should go join the tormented thread too.

yay, another tormented soul
xx

 

[Betticus]

There is a tormented thread?