Defining yourself

[JaymesBlond007]

We are all, from the moment of birth, isolated. And in a number of ways we try to compensate for our alienation. Hippies..."flower-people" , for instance, used metaphisical trances, drugs, even communal sex to reduce their sense of detachment.

Nowdays, we often run and try and find unity through conformity. Everyone needs to be on this football team, or in the German club, or root for that baseball team.

However,does this desire for compliance cause us to loose our uniqueness or individaulism?

Does it even matter, now that we have been accepted?
I just wanted to see what everyone had to say. I see a lot of "individuals" on these boards and was wondering what made you....well, you.

 

[JaymesBlond007]

That's cool...I really didn't want anyone to answer anyway

I guess getting your "hobbit-style" name was a little more important

 

[sch00lteacher]

I can't define myself, because I am crazy. At least that is what my doctor tells me. Maybe once they get all their testing done I can tell you what kind of crazy asshole I am.

Don't you hate it when no one posts to your threads. I do. Don't take it personal. Your thread requires a modicum of thought, and at this time of day, at least here in the USA, no one is up to the task.

Give it time.

 

[MissTaken]

I was raised to identify myself through what I think or what I can do, not what team I am on or what my job title is.

I am just me!

Yes. This sort of thinking is very isolating. My social life sucks!

lol

 

[JaymesBlond007]

Previously posted by sch00lteacher
Don't you hate it when no one posts to your threads? I do.

Gee....you could tell?

 

[phrodeau]

I can answer this thread and your Heaven question with the same response.

We are all isolated individuals, but we distribute and gather our individual natures to and from others. We share experiences with our friends, and our characters with our loved ones.

Thus when we die, we are remembered and sustained, since the things which make us unique are carried on by those that survive us. Immortality does not depend on any spiritual concept. It's within ourselves.

So share, learn, educate, absorb each other. Remember and pass along the memories of those you've lost. You're minding their souls for them.

 

[kiwiwolf]

I have never bothered worrying about social definition or being part of a clique. I suppose by definition, I am the quintessential loner. Does that make me a part of the loner clique?

I guess that because I am very happy with my own self image, I don't really care how others perceive me. I've never been a pack animal so, I avoided clubs and team sports. the only team sport I ever excelled at was Rugby. My other sports were skiing, skydiving, boxing, and scuba diving... all solo sports with the exception of scuba diving, but even then I could get by with only one other person. A loner I may be, but a stupid loner I'm not.

I don't know if this answered your question but at 3.27am here in New Zealand, I'm too knackered to think.

By the way... I enjoy your posts.

 

[Andreina]

i identify myself through my love of chocolate, my enthusiasm, my "whatever" attitude to fashion items, my love for men, women, sex and my hotwater bottle, as well as travelling. And I am smart too.

Now if that doesnt make me irresistable I dont know....

 

[alltherage]

Damn now I see what the problem is. I was supposed to KNOW who I am. All this time I was waiting for someone else to define me. Who knew!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Defining myself

I have always been a unique person which made things a bit difficult in my early years. I wasn't exactly a "dork", but I never followed the fold especially if I didn't understand the "logic" of a lot of my peer group. At times this attitude of mine isolated me as others wouldn't quite understand where I was coming from (and neither did I).

Many years later I still follow my own heart rather than going with the flow. So in many ways I am not considered a "typical" woman. However, I am much more comfortable in my skin these last 10 years or so, and I am pleased to say that my experiences have left me with an open mind and a loving heart. I have discovered unexpected allies and, for the first time in my life, a loving, wonderful man who accepts me as I am and loves me. I don't believe we ever stop learning unless we purposely decide to just "grow old".

 

[JaymesBlond007]

Posted by alltherage
Damn now I see what the problem is. I was supposed to KNOW who I am. All this time I was waiting for someone else to define me. Who knew!

That's really not what I'm trying to get at...smartass.

Maybe the question gets lost in the wording...

I was wondering why people are the way they are? Why do you harbor the feelings and points of view that you do? Do you just feel that diversity is obviously what make society function? Or perhaps feel that your ultimately the one that is affected by your own actions, so the focus needs to remain on yourself, not what everyone else is doing.

...or maybe I'm just babbling. ...sorry

 

[Guest]

Who Am I?

Am I in English class? Are you an English teacher?

Oh well. Let's see. I started off my English paper as-There are many sides to my Personality, It's like a painting, you can chip off one layer, and the next looks completely different.

But, this isn't English, and you can't give me a grade. So you get the short version.

I'd like to think that I have an individual personality. I've been quite a loner through the years, and I don't mind a bit. I have a few very select friends who do make significant dents in my personality.

My family is also another large part of my personality. I can definetly see the places where they've influenced my character. I get to have all their addictions and physical characteristics all packed compactly into my genes. They also formed my fragile little mind when I was to young to protest!

In high school, when I was just starting to get an idea of my adult self, I experiemented with drugs. It gave me a whole new perspective on reality, and the way my mind works. I think doing the drugs, and then having the strength to get off them, changed me in many ways.

Of course my habitat, rural Ohio, had some part in my mannerisms, opinions, beliefs, and even the way I talk.

I don't think there will be many people who tell you they changed to fit in with the pack. Everybody wants to fit in, nobody wants to admit it.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I was wondering why people are the way they are? Why do you harbor the feelings and points of view that you do?

People are formed by two things: genetics and the sum of their unique set of experiences. I may be a member of the cheerleading squad (HA!) or a member of the chess club () but I am also many other things, so that would never define me.

Jaymes, don't apologize for posting intelligent, thoughtful threads! Geez.

 

[Guest]

I am just "me"

I am many people, wife/lover, mom, grandmom, sister, daughter, friend.

I am a non-comformist,
I wear what I feel comfortable wearing, whether it is a sexy outfit or sweatshirt and jeans. My attire depends on my mood, nothing else.
I do not join groups or clubs just because they are popular. If I join in with "the crowd" it is because I am interested in what they are doing or saying.
I am quiet in groups, sometimes this is mistaken for shy. I really like to hear other's opinions and thoughts, so I actually listen.
I am very slow to anger, and if allowed the opportunity to express my anger to the person I'm angry with, I get it "off my chest" and am done with it.
I am accepted for who I am by my best friend/husband, and my family and friends. I am an individual even in my immediate family. Marching to the tune of my own drummer.
I am generally a very happy, smiling type, I don't have a lot of issues. I've been told I live in my own little world. That is ok, I like it here!
I am a very loving, politically incorrect, semi-intelligent, artistic (so I'm told), woman. All of these above mentioned things are what make me an individual.

Just my $.04 worth

 

[alltherage]

[/i]

That's really not what I'm trying to get at...smartass.

Maybe the question gets lost in the wording...

I was wondering why people are the way they are? Why do you harbor the feelings and points of view that you do? Do you just feel that diversity is obviously what make society function? Or perhaps feel that your ultimately the one that is affected by your own actions, so the focus needs to remain on yourself, not what everyone else is doing.

...or maybe I'm just babbling. ...sorry [/B]

Lordy I'm getting a headache. On some level we are all a product of the environment we grew up in and live in now. Even the the most unconventional of us live within societal rules. Think about a hot august day. How many naked people do you see? It would make sense to be naked but I have yet to see someone naked on main street.

Having said that I recognize that we are all individuals. Those differences are on the margins of our existance in my view. I believe that all healthy psyche searchs out similar things in live to keep them healty. Love, acceptance, productivity, and feeling a part of something. It is human nature to want to belong to something. It is the secret to our unlikely evolutionary survival. Group intelligence. So in other words, I do not spend very much time wondering why I am how I am but I do spend a good deal of time trying to understand the changes which occur from time to time in my life and how those changes affect my desires.

ehem.

that ok?

 

[Wiggles]

Oops, that was me up there above Mustang Sally.
Took me so long to type it the board automatically logged me out!

 

[Feelin' Naughty]

I am just "me"

I am many people, wife/lover, mom, grandmom, sister, daughter, friend.

Sorry, that was me, didn't know I had "timed out"

 

[Wiggles]

I just noticed your AV Jaymes Blond. I Love It!
Earthworm Jim is the Man!
Good Choice.

 

[seXieleXie]

[/i]I was wondering why people are the way they are? Why do you harbor the feelings and points of view that you do? Do you just feel that diversity is obviously what make society function? Or perhaps feel that your ultimately the one that is affected by your own actions, so the focus needs to remain on yourself, not what everyone else is doing [/B]

i'm not sure if i'm reading this right, but i'll give it a go.

part of who i am is "nature." genetic, inborn, can't-be-changed, nature. (well, technically some things i concider nature can be changed but not without a lot of effort)

a much bigger part of me is "nurture." the values i was raised with, both family and society instilled, and the experiances that i've had shape who i am today. the reason i'm an "individual" rather than someone who follows the crowd all the time is that i've discovered those "normal" ways of living aren't what make me happy.

why don't they make me happy? that is a tough question to answer, i don't think i can really do it justice. i think it goes back to the values i was raised with and the experiances i've had. they are just contradictory of what the norm dictates.

just an end note to say that really, everyone is abnormal. trying to liver your life conforming to statistical averages is not only foolish, but damn near impossible. if people were more accepting of deviation from "the norm" in themselves and others, the world would be a much better place.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

'Individualism' is vastly over-rated

It's a modern social psychosis. Read Karl Marx, for instance.

All of us like to think of ourselves as individuals, because we've been taught to think of ourselves that way (b/c it serves the interests of consumption). Of course, the marketeers know that we're really not individuals but 'types'--demographic groups, interest groups, taste groups, fans, etc. Because late-modern consumer capitalism values individualism, we all feel compelled to construct and display our uniqueness and individuality--which we do by purchasing the props and costumes, learning the scripts, mouthing the lines, etc., that will show everyone that we're not like anyone else.

Of course, that way lies alienation.... You can't be TOO special or you just become a freak, an outlaw, a mad(wo)man. . . . Hence, the need for some sort of group affiliation and identity. But to satisfy THAT need puts your 'specialness' in peril....

And the beat goes on....

What makes me feel special, unique, 'self-actualized'? Love.

Ironic, isn't it? That I only feel like myself when I love and am loved....


~H~

 

[Georgia Girl]

I have never fit in and have never really had a problem with it. In the small town that I grew up in I saw what was required to be part of the in crowd and those were not things that appealed to me so I went my own way.

As a female I differ from many, I don't like roses, diamonds or shopping, love 4 wheel drive trucks and playing in the mud - all of these things are part of what make me who I am. Even in sports I did not go with the normal flow -- I was the one throwing shot and discus, shooting trap and skeet and lifting weights with the guys.

I never claim to be anything other than just me. What has made me into this person is many things. Growing up surrounded by males played a part in what I like and don't like, I prefer to be me and be happy with that person rather than try and beat myself into someone elses idea of what I should be and be miserable. I conform in the ways that society requires that I do but even then I make my own statement.

Dawn

 

[JaymesBlond007]

My turn...

Well I guess sense I started this thread I need to spill the proverbial beans as well.

I really grew by myself. The home 'broke' right when I was born so family values are right out the window from the word "go". Sure I had a mom and a brother, even a father if I remeber right. They just never were around. Sure mom taught me to say "please" and "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and "thank-you", but never educated me about what it was to just be yourself.

I was ridiculed in Highschool but quickly realized that all that didn't mean shit. I kept my nose clean, learned everything I could, and prayed that I'd 'score' before I graduated

I'm a dork. Always have been. But the one thing I've learned is the less you tell people about you, the more they want to know. I know many, many people but only have one friend. That friend accepts me for who I am because I do the same in return. I don't feel like there is anything wrong with being by yourself. Sure I always wonder If I might get married or have kids, but right now I'm figuring out who I am and that takes too much of my attention right now.

I started this thread because everyone makes me laugh. I haven't had to actually think about anything in a long, long time. I go to school, go to work, go get sideways at the bar. But I miss my intillectual arousal.

Everyone here actually has their own opinion, and that's exceedingly refreshing. And the interaction between you all is nothing less than hysterical. I wanted to know a little about everyone so thanks for sharing.


..........Even you alltherage