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- Jan 25, 2004
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Cathleen said:Thanks Shos...
I did some more pondering and reading this afternoon about loving ones self. I picked up a few books I keep nearby, one of which is Gary Zukav's The Seat of the Soul . It is a deep study (I think its deep) of spirit and love and self.
Ok... so after reading and thinking...... I am brought back to the psychology of love. Zukav's premise is about soul.... and since I believe wholeheartedly in the presence of a soul in humans, I never have to question this area. So my soul, it exists, and love exists and the two are tied together. My soul feels love, can love others. If I am unable to love myself, then I can not love others.... his thought....I am not all that conviced until I read more. We can not love others without loving ourself because we will not be able to stand to see others loved. If we can't treat ourselves kindly, then we will resent that treatment when you see it in others. And the biggie...if you can not love yourself then loving others will become a very painful endeavor, with only moments of comfort.
There is a connection between how you treat yourself and the love you give. As if you get our own medicine. This hurt me to read, and I don't really want to believe it, as I am thinking I fall into the "taste of my own medicine" category. My actions though belie my feelings on this idea. I am kind, loving and caring. But I find I am so closed to love, that I am almost unlovable. That the idea of how I treat myself has come to fruition, and I am getting a taste of my own medicine; it hurts to acknowledge and hurts to feel.
Awareness has been an important part of my adult life, being mindful too. But mostly awareness, as without it I am in denial. With out it I can not start the process of change. So while I am aware of this defect, I can gladened too, for now is the opportunity to change and grow. This is how my soul grows too, and each time my soul grows I do feel I become closer to my true self.
So I will continue to be kind to others. I will also take a closer look at how I treat myself, give myself the compassion I give others. Actually give myself all that I give others, love, care, concern and comfort. So I suppose it isn't so bad now, I just have more work to do, as always. Growth is work, hard work, the right path is often the most difficult path. Since I've faced other difficult isses, I will face this too.
Glad you brought this up! Thanks. (I think lol)
Cathleen, so many wise thoughts here, thank you for sharing this.
i have several self-help books on loving oneself and accepting that you are worthy of love from yourself and from others.
it has been a hard path indeed, and i am no where near done learning. But i have learned i need to make better choices about who i chose to have as a lover. i need to pick people who stimulate my thoughts and creativity as well as my homones.
Lust is great, but for me it must complement the thinking part of my soul. otherwise problems develop in communication.
be well, shy
