Defining Love

[Shoshisexy]

Liza:

See, that is what my loving parents are afraid of. That I have been alone and lonely so long that I am allowing Swain and Damsel to rulle me/control me in some way. It's not true, but it is what they believe. I haven't found a way to change their minds. I don't know that anything beyond seeing how happy I am when I am finally with Damsel and Swain will change their minds.

Love, whether familial or romantic, can become constraining if you start to believe that you know "what is best" for the other person. I understand that parents need to think this when their children are young and it is hard to let go of, but...if they don't...they end up driving their child away.

 

[Wyldfire]

Liza:

See, that is what my loving parents are afraid of. That I have been alone and lonely so long that I am allowing Swain and Damsel to rulle me/control me in some way. It's not true, but it is what they believe. I haven't found a way to change their minds. I don't know that anything beyond seeing how happy I am when I am finally with Damsel and Swain will change their minds.

Love, whether familial or romantic, can become constraining if you start to believe that you know "what is best" for the other person. I understand that parents need to think this when their children are young and it is hard to let go of, but...if they don't...they end up driving their child away.

I don know anythin bout tha Lillove...... Least ya know wha Familial love is......

 

[Shoshisexy]

*huggles Damsel* I know, LadyLove.

 

[Wyldfire]

*huggles Damsel* I know, LadyLove.

He he he Then ya gotta be understandin when I don understand th concept a Familial Love Till we're t'gether tha is

 

[Shoshisexy]

Very True, LadyLove.

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

Hey Yankee!!

To answer your question... I've always been an honest person. I tend to be too honest if the truth be known! I may have even said this previously...

On a couple occasions here at Lit even, I've gone so far as to tell the person who seems to be interested in me how to use the search mode so they can make sure I've not done something they're put off by... it's easier rather than getting way interested to be put to pasture, so to speak.

I love meeting new and interesting people... even letting them into my life enough to "love" them to an extent... truth be known tho, I've learned the hard way a couple times that a long distance relationship isn't for me because I want and need everyday contact... phone calls and online play just doesn't fulfill me!!!

I've been alone for so very long that I've quit lookin... only prob now is that if it's offered, sometimes I'm a bit too eager...

*kickin myself* I need to learn... ~sigh~

-sense or senseless... lol

TantaLiza ...

I was moved by your comments.

Yea ... being honest with others. It such a simple and freeing concept but it's hard when our culture celebrates the hiding of agendas and denying our shadowy thoughts. But unlike the sitcoms, it casts a fouling darkness making it difficult to get to know our selves let alone others, well beyond the surface layer that is.

This whole matter weights heavily on me at times - and this is from a man who's still in love and lust with his wife after 25 years.

TantaLiza, I don't assume I know what this experience is like for you but I honor your message and appreciate your sharing your words, the words of someone who sounds courageous to me.

Sky

 

[TantaLiza]

TantaLiza ...

I was moved by your comments.

Yea ... being honest with others. It such a simple and freeing concept but it's hard when our culture celebrates the hiding of agendas and denying our shadowy thoughts. But unlike the sitcoms, it casts a fouling darkness making it difficult to get to know our selves let alone others, well beyond the surface layer that is.

This whole matter weights heavily on me at times - and this is from a man who's still in love and lust with his wife after 25 years.

TantaLiza, I don't assume I know what this experience is like for you but I honor your message and appreciate your sharing your words, the words of someone who sounds courageous to me.

Sky

Thanks, Sky, for your compliment! I can only hope to have a long fulfillin relationship one day... til then, I'll just keep "loving" in my own kinda way... ~sigh~

Someday, someone will love me for who I am...

How then can someone be open to love without seeming desparate?? How can they then give up the ingrained independence of being alone for so long??

I'm having the hardest time with findin someone who's not gonna try to BS on me... they realize I'm on to them and I never hear from them again. I understand that just means they weren't truly interested but in the same respect, couldn't they tell that earlier?? Just a thought....

 

[redrider4u]

Thanks, Sky, for your compliment! I can only hope to have a long fulfillin relationship one day... til then, I'll just keep "loving" in my own kinda way... ~sigh~

Someday, someone will love me for who I am...

How then can someone be open to love without seeming desparate?? How can they then give up the ingrained independence of being alone for so long??

I'm having the hardest time with findin someone who's not gonna try to BS on me... they realize I'm on to them and I never hear from them again. I understand that just means they weren't truly interested but in the same respect, couldn't they tell that earlier?? Just a thought....

Liza....part of it is the deception factor........esp. prevalent here. I just got a huge dose of it in Feb. But, I mean, I am not into smoke filled bars with hacking chicks. Excluding deception, I 've had a few ok things.......you just have to keep the faith.

kisses...........red.

 

[midwestyankee]

Thanks, Sky, for your compliment! I can only hope to have a long fulfillin relationship one day... til then, I'll just keep "loving" in my own kinda way... ~sigh~

Someday, someone will love me for who I am...

How then can someone be open to love without seeming desparate?? How can they then give up the ingrained independence of being alone for so long??

I'm having the hardest time with findin someone who's not gonna try to BS on me... they realize I'm on to them and I never hear from them again. I understand that just means they weren't truly interested but in the same respect, couldn't they tell that earlier?? Just a thought....

Yes, Liza, I'm sure that someday will come for you.

As for how to be open without seeming desperate, I think it's a matter of just letting go of the feeling you get when you think that every date has to lead to something long term. I know it must seem easy to say but hard to do. But...

remember when you were little and you had a disappointment? After a bit something came along that made you happy and it was easy to let go of the disappointment. You can do the same with feelings you get now as an adult. It's just a little tougher because we understand the events behind the feelings more fully. So instead of allowing that feeling that comes from desperation to take over, let it fall away from you like a leaf that fell on your shoulder on an autumn walk. And the feeling is no more a part of you than that leaf. Just let it go. Enjoy the moments you have with your dates and someday may come sooner than you think.

I hope so, anyway. For you.

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

Thanks, Sky, for your compliment! I can only hope to have a long fulfillin relationship one day... til then, I'll just keep "loving" in my own kinda way... ~sigh~

Someday, someone will love me for who I am...

How then can someone be open to love without seeming desparate?? How can they then give up the ingrained independence of being alone for so long??

I'm having the hardest time with findin someone who's not gonna try to BS on me... they realize I'm on to them and I never hear from them again. I understand that just means they weren't truly interested but in the same respect, couldn't they tell that earlier?? Just a thought....

TantaLiza ...

I take your comment "...will love me for who I am" to be about that romantic type of loving relationship - that being, you feel loved by others amongst a community of close friends and relatives, but this can not fulfill all you desire and need, of course.


And, regarding to how some (many? most? ) people on Lit. privately cast their unstated desires and hidden agendas upon you presence ... for me, and I trust to tell you the following:

When I first came upon your posts on another thread, maybe two months ago, I privately cast my lust on your name, and AV. But especially your name - it did leave me stired.

"Tantalizing" is a powerful word to me that touches that primal part of me (and probably most men). And the name Liza conveys to me a sweet innocence. Taken together your name struck deep in that moment I first saw it. But I claimed those feelings as mine, and took responsibility to hold them as mine, not to project them onto you.

This was MY experience in coming upon your Lit. personna. I'm not suggesting at all to change your name. I disclose this to you in confidence here - thinking it might be helpful to you to know the truth of my experience of seeing your name for the first time.

Sky

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by SouthSkyEyes
TantaLiza ...

I take your comment "...will love me for who I am" to be about that romantic type of loving relationship - that being, you feel loved by others amongst a community of close friends and relatives, but this can not fulfill all you desire and need, of course.


And, regarding to how some (many? most? ) people on Lit. privately cast their unstated desires and hidden agendas upon you presence ... for me, and I trust to tell you the following:

When I first came upon your posts on another thread, maybe two months ago, I privately cast my lust on your name, and AV. But especially your name - it did leave me stired.

"Tantalizing" is a powerful word to me that touches that primal part of me (and probably most men). And the name Liza conveys to me a sweet innocence. Taken together your name struck deep in that moment I first saw it. But I claimed those feelings as mine, and took responsibility to hold them as mine, not to project them onto you.

This was MY experience in coming upon your Lit. personna. I'm not suggesting at all to change your name. I disclose this to you in confidence here - thinking it might be helpful to you to know the truth of my experience of seeing your name for the first time.

Sky

 

[redrider4u]

[

 

[midwestyankee]

oooooooooo...nice.....i agree certain nics do it for me too...i really like cumhard bitch...damn always gets my blood boiling...so shakespearian...has a nice ring to it dont ya think...

I'm reeling from the juxtaposition of "cumhard bitch" and Shakespearean.

DLL, you really did it this time.

Don't you have a St. Patrick's Day party to attend?

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

oooooooooo...nice.....i agree certain nics do it for me too...i really like cumhard bitch...damn always gets my blood boiling...so shakespearian...has a nice ring to it dont ya think...

Ahh, DLL.

That I should steal the lovers moon beams to cast my shadowy lust upon thy sultry-sweet Lit. personna? Nay dear woman. Nay.

Thou knowest the truth in my lustfilled eyes. I have exposed them bare for your very taking, yonder, where such is the place for matters as these.

Sky

 

[midwestyankee]

Ahh, DLL.

That I should steal the lovers moon beams to cast my shadowy lust upon thy sultry-sweet Lit. personna? Nay dear woman. Nay.

Thou knowest the truth in my lustfilled eyes. I have exposed them bare for your very taking, yonder, where such is the place for matters as these.

Sky

I'm not touching this one with a seven-foot pole.

And Stan Warshawsky, who is a seven-foot Pole, said he wouldn't touch it either.

Sky, you have a magical tongue. Please don't let my lighter side dissuade you from posting more and more here.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by SouthSkyEyes
Ahh, DLL.

That I should steal the lovers moon beams to cast my shadowy lust upon thy sultry-sweet Lit. personna? Nay dear woman. Nay.

Thou knowest the truth in my lustfilled eyes. I have exposed them bare for your very taking, yonder, where such is the place for matters as these.

Sky

 

[Ammo44]

i heard the place is Brooklyn for that...

We guys learned dat from our teachahs on Avenue J......or was it fordy fort and toity thoid? Anyways...forsoot.....da love for my goil knows no freaking bounds....

 

[TantaLiza]

~snip~
remember when you were little and you had a disappointment? After a bit something came along that made you happy and it was easy to let go of the disappointment. You can do the same with feelings you get now as an adult. It's just a little tougher because we understand the events behind the feelings more fully. So instead of allowing that feeling that comes from desperation to take over, let it fall away from you like a leaf that fell on your shoulder on an autumn walk. And the feeling is no more a part of you than that leaf. Just let it go. Enjoy the moments you have with your dates and someday may come sooner than you think.

I hope so, anyway. For you.

I think I would be ok if that friggin leaf would just blow away rather than keep jumpin on my shoulder.... ~sigh~

I truly enjoy online fun but it's definitely lackin in the touch factors... Seems tho that I'm destined to it as, like RR, I'm not into smoke-filled bars... I'm a bit too open for church gatherings so I'm basically stuck between a rock and a hard place!

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Ammo44
We guys learned dat from our teachahs on Avenue J......or was it fordy fort and toity thoid? Anyways...forsoot.....da love for my goil knows no freaking bounds....

 

[Ammo44]

ooooooooo ammo I just love a southern accent

south bronx right????

Ya'll dink you're freakin funny? I oughta toss wawta in your face....just that youse look so pretty......

 

[midwestyankee]

We guys learned dat from our teachahs on Avenue J......or was it fordy fort and toity thoid? Anyways...forsoot.....da love for my goil knows no freaking bounds....

Ammo, I always knew we could count on you to keep the level of the discourse high.

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

I'm not touching this one with a seven-foot pole.

And Stan Warshawsky, who is a seven-foot Pole, said he wouldn't touch it either.

Sky, you have a magical tongue. Please don't let my lighter side dissuade you from posting more and more here.

MWY

*LMAO* Nearly brought me to tears ... seven foot pole / Pole!!! *lol*

Just wanted to be mindful of the "charter" here, MWY. Obviously a few amendments have come forth since you started this thread that are yet to be put into writing. I certainly welcome being playful here, as I continue to settle in.

But I must say ... I do have a better sense of what all you have to do around here here. I've got to hand it to you MWY - and I'll do so, as soon as I find that blasted 7 foot pole I had laying around.

Sky

 

[Ammo44]

Ammo, I always knew we could count on you to keep the level of the discourse high.

Tanks yankee...........fucking A right I do...

 

[Ammo44]

ooooooooo ammo I just love a southern accent

south bronx right????

Da Bronx??? You dink dat's funny? I oughta trow wawtah in your face......just that youse is too pretty......

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by SouthSkyEyes
MWY

*LMAO* Nearly brought me to tears ... seven foot pole / Pole!!! *lol*

Just wanted to be mindful of the "charter" here, MWY. Obviously a few amendments have come forth since you started this thread that are yet to be put into writing. I certainly welcome being playful here, as I continue to settle in.

But I must say ... I do have a better sense of what all you have to do around here here. I've got to hand it to you MWY - and I'll do so, as soon as I find that blasted 7 foot pole I had laying around.

Sky