Defining Love

SouthSkyEyes · Mar 17, 2004

Shoshisexy said:
But Sky...you never answered my question...I understand that you and Lady A are completely devoted...but do you think a trinity like Swain, Damsel and I cannot work out?

Shoshana ...

Not sure where this response will end up on this busy thread tonight.

I do think it's possible for it to work out even if most people do seek one-on-one exclusive relationships.
The "complication" I see in your case is there are inherently four relationships rather than one. One between each pair of you and one you share all together. I don't propose to know what this will be like. But I do believe if each of you tends to the relationships you're in, seeking to cultivate them to be something you cherish, all while nurturing your love for each ... then I believe it can work.

It will be essential to build the level of trust of self and the others. To work together to get to the point where you're willing to trust risking even deep disappointment in saying the truth of your thoughts and feelings and not then turn away. No magic in this - just patience and practice. You know this.

To your love and passion my friend,

Sky

PS: I think you'll remember seeing this but I think to offer it again:
"It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you are willing to disappoint another to be true to yourself." From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Shoshisexy · Mar 17, 2004

I do remember that qoute. *hugs*

As for the trust thing...Well. It hasn't been easy, especially long-distance. Right from the beginning, though...Swain and Damsel and I have been open and honest with each other. We have all told the others things that might break the relationship completely. We knew it when we told each other. We also knew that nothing less than true honesty would build a relationship between us.

I actually think this would have been much more difficult had it happened in person rather than online to start with. I don't have any qualms about the physical side of things now...but had I met Swain and Damsel in person...I would have. My mind would have categorized them automatically. I am not saying that doesn't happen here as well, but...I am more open and comments have less shading without the visual input. So comments can be hurtful without being meant to...but there is also that one may say something without assumptions being made on the basis of looks.

But that is my take on it.

redrider4u · Mar 17, 2004

Shoshisexy said:
I do remember that qoute. *hugs*

As for the trust thing...Well. It hasn't been easy, especially long-distance. Right from the beginning, though...Swain and Damsel and I have been open and honest with each other. We have all told the others things that might break the relationship completely. We knew it when we told each other. We also knew that nothing less than true honesty would build a relationship between us.

I actually think this would have been much more difficult had it happened in person rather than online to start with. I don't have any qualms about the physical side of things now...but had I met Swain and Damsel in person...I would have. My mind would have categorized them automatically. I am not saying that doesn't happen here as well, but...I am more open and comments have less shading without the visual input. So comments can be hurtful without being meant to...but there is also that one may say something without assumptions being made on the basis of looks.

But that is my take on it.

shoshi, am to understand that this is a purely internet relationship, you have not met the others?

Shoshisexy · Mar 17, 2004

We haven't met in person...but we spend hours on the phone and on here daily.

Beyond that...like I said...there is a lot of trust between the three of us. They are making plans to mave this direction, although we will not be staying here if things work out the way we would like.

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

SouthSkyEyes said:
in this - just patience and practice. You know this.
"It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you are willing to disappoint another to be true to yourself." From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I find this to be an extraordinarily simple and elegant challenge.

To what extent are we willing to expose ourselves, our true selves, to our beloved early in the game when we fear his or her disapproval? Or even later - after the relationship has progressed to a higher level - don't we sometimes feel that losing the beloved is a much greater risk? Are we then willing to risk a more devastating loss?

I know in my own case this has been an issue. In some ways I could be very open with my beloved from the very start but in other areas I found myself holding back. We all make assumptions about what our beloved might find objectionable and thus censor ourselves accordingly. It is a defense mechanism, a quite natural one, and yet on some level we know it ought not to matter.

Several pages ago I spoke of taking the first big risk when I said this: "If you can say to your beloved, I want to love you, then you have stripped your soul bare and risked it in the fire. When she cradles your soul above the flame and cools it with her kiss, you have stepped into eternity."

Yet after taking such a risk, it's still possible (maybe even likely) that we fear revealing our truest self to our beloved. I'm sure others have had this same experience, suffered this same fear.

This I can say, though. That same hand that kept your soul from the flame before will hold you safe yet again if you just have faith.

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

oh my goodness Yank..i am a bit too tipsy to read all that..just wanted to wish everyone here a happy st paddys day... :kiss:

Ammo44 · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
oh my goodness Yank..i am a bit too tipsy to read all that..just wanted to wish everyone here a happy st paddys day...

I may need another gallon of green beer to comprehend it myself....

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by Ammo44
I may need another gallon of green beer to comprehend it myself....

cheers ammo....... :kiss:

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
oh my goodness Yank..i am a bit too tipsy to read all that..just wanted to wish everyone here a happy st paddys day...

A happy one to you too, DLL. Stay away from that green beer.

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

Ammo44 said:
I may need another gallon of green beer to comprehend it myself....

I may need an editor - is that what you're saying, Ammo?

Ammo44 · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
cheers ammo.......

Wind at your back.....and gold in your pot..... :kiss:

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

May the wind at your back never be your own.

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by Ammo44
Wind at your back.....and gold in your pot.....

may you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows ur dead...LOL :kiss:

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by DLL
may you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows ur dead...LOL

so whats love ...lets define it...who loves hockey???

Ammo44 · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
so whats love ...lets define it...who loves hockey???

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Ammo44 · Mar 18, 2004

Ammo44 said:
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

How bout them FLORIDA PANTHERS!!!????

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by Ammo44
How bout them FLORIDA PANTHERS!!!????

well....i cant even defend the rangers.... :kiss:

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
well....i cant even defend the rangers....

Why should you? They can hardly defend themselves.

But then, we digress, don't we?

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Why should you? They can hardly defend themselves.

But then, we digress, don't we?

sits on the couch....to think of a good come back for you Yank...maybe when i can see only one of you perhaps...

Ammo44 · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
sits on the couch....to think of a good come back for you Yank...maybe when i can see only one of you perhaps...

But...but...we LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE the Rangers!!!

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
sits on the couch....to think of a good come back for you Yank...maybe when i can see only one of you perhaps...

I'm the one with the small ears and I'm neither pink nor afraid of mice.

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

I'd like to bring the thread back to where we were before the St. Patrick's Day revelers dropped in to spread their cheer.

Here is the essential question on the table:

midwestyankee said:
To what extent are we willing to expose ourselves, our true selves, to our beloved early in the game when we fear his or her disapproval? Or even later - after the relationship has progressed to a higher level - don't we sometimes feel that losing the beloved is a much greater risk? Are we then willing to risk a more devastating loss?

What's your experience with this?

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by midwestyankee
I'd like to bring the thread back to where we were before the St. Patrick's Day revelers dropped in to spread their cheer.

Here is the essential question on the table:

What's your experience with this?

putting on my mwy decoder glasses..... :kiss:

midwestyankee · Mar 18, 2004

DLL said:
putting on my mwy decoder glasses.....

Perhaps it would be easier for you with a few "parties of the first part" and "heretofores" mixed in?

DLL · Mar 18, 2004

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Perhaps it would be easier for you with a few "parties of the first part" and "heretofores" mixed in?

perhaps whisper in my ear what it is you want me to dicuss....

Defining Love

HARD at work ;)

Body wrap, anyone?

This pix is for you......

Body wrap, anyone?

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