Dear X

Pretty sure we need photographic proof of this. It is lit afterall and I want to be thorough in my investigations. :D The boobs, not the chucks which are cute as long as you dont wear them with a suit. :cool:

Dear Little Sister,

Pant suits are so last season. Rompers, though? Super cute. I don't know about wearing Chucks with 'em, though.

xo,
Neon :)
 
I'm talking it out in pm's with her now. In a second, I'm going to propose that we carry on as a single person on the forums. Like reverse prestige.

I have a great idea! NeonSubtleKnickers! No panty lines! We win! I mean, I win!
 
Dear BoobsNeon,

I would never use "knickers" in a one of my mo(k)ni(c)kers. No self-respecting person would.
 
Dear manneon,

Don't make fun of me. You know full well that 'knickers' was your idea.

xo,
Panties in a twist

I feel like this is a wasted opportunity to hit on people with twice the effectiveness. Little_Sister may or may not have been into us when she thought we were one person.
 
Dear x

Wish you could have appreciated me for me. It hurts that this has to happen, and I am the one in more pain then you can imagine. Thank you for putting up with me for all these years.

On a happier note....thank you for for being you
 
Dear Hot Pockets,

You used to taste so good when I was in highschool. Now you taste like shit. Although, you still burn the roof of my mouth no matter how long I let you sit out after nuking. Is it my taste buds or you that changed?

Signed,

Flicking the burnt skin on the roof of my mouth, with the tip of my tongue.
 
Dear Hot Pockets,

You used to taste so good when I was in highschool. Now you taste like shit. Although, you still burn the roof of my mouth no matter how long I let you sit out after nuking. Is it my taste buds or you that changed?

Signed,

Flicking the burnt skin on the roof of my mouth, with the tip of my tongue.

Dear Hotpockets...I second this!!
I also add my disdain to the makers of Combos, who have decreased the size of their cheddar hole to the point of now they are just pretzel chunks. What a rip off!

Signed,
Where's the chedda....??
 
Dear Wet Wipes,

Thank you for your existence. There is nothing better than a fresh scented wet wipe to make yourself feel cleaner after taking a poo. Especially if that someone's poo are usually a 3-4 flusher.

Well not anymore. Thanks to your efficiency, I don't have to go through half a roll of toilet paper, then ultimately just say fuck it and hop in the shower to feel fresh. Not only am I saving the trees, but I'm saving in my households monthly water bill.

I no more have to worry about a finger breaking through. I no more have to worry about making sure there is no poo residue on the soap. I no more have to worry about anyone catching me sniffing my finger to see if the smell is still lingering after a TP break through. Oh stop it! We all do it. I'm just willing to admit it. Same thing goes for when we accidentally get gas on our hand when filling up. You can't help but sniff to see if the smell is still there.

So thank you for being you. Thank your for helping my heiny feel happy.

Signed,

I know they're not disposable even when they say they are, but I don't give a shit.
 
Dear ShelbyBubbles,

All this time I thought your name was Shelly...now I feel like a jackass. :eek:

Signed,
an apologetic Litster
 
Dear ShelbyBubbles,

All this time I thought your name was Shelly...now I feel like a jackass. :eek:

Signed,
an apologetic Litster


Dear Apologetic Litster,

I think you are still a nice guy and you make me laugh. All is well :)

Signed,

Shelby :cathappy:
 
Dear Left Hand,

Please do not get jealous of my right hand. I'm primarily right handed. You'll get your chance to stroke too.

~xo
 
Dear absent and missed..

I think I finally get it. I want you happy. I'm praying you are. You will always hold a special place. A very big special place. Time for me to take my *gigglesnorts* and go. Be well, be blessed..

Signed : Wants me happy too
 
Dear Earthquakes,

Stop already. I moved up here with the worry of tornados. Now I worry more about the daily earthquakes taking place. Enough is enough.

Thanks,

I am not the one fracking, so leave me alone.
 
Dear Fat Ass Americans,

Please continue to park your fat asses in front of the displays so no one else can see what they want to choose. Make sure your fat asses hide as much as possible, including using your shopping cart to hide even more.

Also, whatever you do, do not walk around the person trying to stock the shelves with more food or other items. Stand directly in front of where they've been doing their job prior to your arrival and do not move your fat ass despite blocking the very spot they need to get to.

When your fat ass partner/wife/husband calls out your name, be sure your fat ass remains immobile in the same spot rather then use an insignificant amount of energy to waddle over to them.

As to your fat ass partner/wife/husband, be sure to occupy the exact same space your fat ass partner/wife/husband did even though the store person trying to stock the shelves did in fact do their job in between the moment when your partner/wife/husband's fat ass left and when you arrived to interpose your fat ass.

And above all, make absolutely, positively sure both your fat asses occupy the entire width of a store aisle while having your discussion. Everyone else will gladly take time from their lives to go around your fat asses because we can't get squeeze between the two.

Pretty much disgusted with fat asses
 
Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday. I hope you're having fun in that better place you're at. With friends old and new. Tell Mel hello from me, OK?

I wrote something for you today. I kinda felt your presence. Hope you liked reading it.

~ Your son.
 
Dear X -

You know some days you make me laugh. But most days you make me roll my eyes, sigh in exhaustion and just make me want to cry. Today I just want to hide under the covers and wish things could have been different.

Me
 
Dear Fat Ass Americans,

Please continue to park your fat asses in front of the displays so no one else can see what they want to choose. Make sure your fat asses hide as much as possible, including using your shopping cart to hide even more.

Also, whatever you do, do not walk around the person trying to stock the shelves with more food or other items. Stand directly in front of where they've been doing their job prior to your arrival and do not move your fat ass despite blocking the very spot they need to get to.

When your fat ass partner/wife/husband calls out your name, be sure your fat ass remains immobile in the same spot rather then use an insignificant amount of energy to waddle over to them.

As to your fat ass partner/wife/husband, be sure to occupy the exact same space your fat ass partner/wife/husband did even though the store person trying to stock the shelves did in fact do their job in between the moment when your partner/wife/husband's fat ass left and when you arrived to interpose your fat ass.

And above all, make absolutely, positively sure both your fat asses occupy the entire width of a store aisle while having your discussion. Everyone else will gladly take time from their lives to go around your fat asses because we can't get squeeze between the two.

Pretty much disgusted with fat asses

Sexy_Alison's new crush
 
Dear Fat Ass Americans,

Please continue to park your fat asses in front of the displays so no one else can see what they want to choose. Make sure your fat asses hide as much as possible, including using your shopping cart to hide even more.

Also, whatever you do, do not walk around the person trying to stock the shelves with more food or other items. Stand directly in front of where they've been doing their job prior to your arrival and do not move your fat ass despite blocking the very spot they need to get to.

When your fat ass partner/wife/husband calls out your name, be sure your fat ass remains immobile in the same spot rather then use an insignificant amount of energy to waddle over to them.

As to your fat ass partner/wife/husband, be sure to occupy the exact same space your fat ass partner/wife/husband did even though the store person trying to stock the shelves did in fact do their job in between the moment when your partner/wife/husband's fat ass left and when you arrived to interpose your fat ass.

And above all, make absolutely, positively sure both your fat asses occupy the entire width of a store aisle while having your discussion. Everyone else will gladly take time from their lives to go around your fat asses because we can't get squeeze between the two.

Pretty much disgusted with fat asses

Dead person who is mad at fat people,

Get a better job...
 
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