Dear X

[TallHotChick]

Dear Him
Ok you've fucked with my head long enough
Let me know if you dont want contact, or let me know if you do
Don't leave me hanging around checking my email every 5 seconds...it sucks! (And now i have no social life, thanks to you, asshole)
Yous,
The disgruntled Ex
x

 

[Wings27]

Dear Libido,

I love you and am very grateful to you after a very rough hysterectomy, however you keep leading me down the wrong path. And now that I'm trying to behave you're just kicking it up a notch. Unless you'd like to be surpressed beyond belief I suggest you lay off a bit.

Luff and hugs,
me

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Fate,

Don't let anything mess with our plans....PLEASE.

thank you.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Thread,

Happy Anniversary!

You've only been here for a month, yet I feel i've known you my whole life.

Your unyielding acceptance of our fear and loathing gives me hope for better days.

May your posts never need bumping.

Smittenly yours,

...i

Dear Smitten,

Wow, I didn't even realize it's been a month! That was quick. Thank you for noticing!

Love,

Dear X Thread

 

[Daizie]

Dear Dear Litster Poster Otherwise Known As Daizie,

What a great post! In fact, I had something similar in mind since there seems to be a surfeit of that going on at Lit. Instead, I'll just piggyback on your post and thank all those random male Litsters who tell me how lucky I am to be with a certain someone despite the fact that I've actually been with the woman and they've never even laid eyes on her. Or those other Random PMers who think that their PM's to that certain someone aren't being shared with me; like the ones that suggested that she Fuck your boyfriend, come play with me; while Natty's away, can I help you with that?; or the ever-popular unsolicited cock pictures. It's truly refreshing to realize that chivalry isn't dead.

Again, thank you for opening the door. I hope I can return the favor someday.

Piggybacking Litster

Dear Piggybacking Litster,

I am sorry to hear that you and your lady are also plagued by unsolicited PMs from intellectual deviants with obvious shortcomings.

Perhaps we can form a vigilante group? A knife-wielding Lorena Bobbit can be our spokesperson.

~Daizie

 

[Daizie]

Dear Muse,

Please come back to me. I promise not to neglect you anymore for World of Warcraft if you just come home *on my knees begging*

Sincerely,

I'm-Disappointing-Lit-Readers Author

Dear Disappointing-Lit-Readers Author,

This caught my eye. I, too, was once a slave to WoW. I understand how hard it is to stop questing and raiding and levelling up. But you can do it. You have the power to quit.

Step away from the game. Slowly. Deep breaths.

~Former WoW Gamer

 

[Daizie]

Dear Self,


I've failed again.
Another random PM from someone looking "for fun". I can't even post in certain threads anymore without it inviting comment.

Sadly,
Me

 

[Wings27]

Dear You,

It's certainly not your failure. It's more the fact that the majority of males on this site don't want to bother either a. getting to know someone via the threads or b. just don't pay attention to the fact that you're clearly not going to be buying anything they're selling.

Sing it sister.

Me

 

[janeyl]

Dear Unwilling...

So YOU was superted's sidekick all them years ago then??

Running for the hills litster

Dear Running but you can't hide litster

This thing has now developed a personality of its own and it's HUNGRY!!

Sending the ravening beast after you litster

 

[Morrigu]

Dear Fraudulent Twat

This is the third time I've had to chop up my cards cos of you. I'm careful, I try to make my transactions as secure as possible. Don't think I don't know which purchase set you off this time cos I do.

Yours

irritated and inconvenienced

 

[goodgirl79]

Dear new OR nurse,

You're attitude has got to go. You don't even know what you're doing, yet-and already you complain. My suggestion is to find another job that doesn't involve decisions that determine peoples' life outcomes. We're trying to make you quit, anyway...b/c thats what we do to new people.

Sink or swim,
Someone who is sick and tired of hearing you bitch about the OR

PS I'll be waiting for you in the parking lot on Tuesday

 

[hdlynnette]

Dear Hair,

Thank you for accepting the coloring so nicely.

Multi cropped me.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Donny Osmond,

You're really obnoxious and annoying. Please just go away.

Love,
Me

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Donny Osmond,

You're really obnoxious and annoying. Please just go away.

Love,
Me

Dear Me,

If Donny Osmond were bald with a moustache, non-Mormon, and Canadian, he'd be my uncle. Can you imagine the pain of family getogethers? Seriously. It's tough to not want to run him over with his own car- even though he's my uncle

Sincerely,
Contemplating Vehiclular Homicide, and Not For The First Time

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Me,

If Donny Osmond were bald with a moustache, non-Mormon, and Canadian, he'd be my uncle. Can you imagine the pain of family getogethers? Seriously. It's tough to not want to run him over with his own car- even though he's my uncle

Sincerely,
Contemplating Vehiclular Homicide, and Not For The First Time

Dear Molly,

Eeewwwwww. Yet another reason to avoid family getogethers!

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear ...

It's been several months since my mind, heart and hormones were thrust into apoplectic seizures every time I saw or spoke to you. You could not have been blind to the fact that I found excuses to visit you when I could if only to give my day meaning. Our brief meetings and talks filled me with a joy I had not felt in many a year though I cannot recall much of what you said as my eyes gazed upon your goddess-like form.

You can never know how difficult was the task of controlling myself when in your presence. Your mind and beauty were so great, it was as if I was in a dream which only the deepest of sleeps could bring. Like a school boy, I yearned to catch a glimpse of your ethereal form, even if only for a moment.

As such, my heart was shattered when I did not hear from you regarding my offer. Though a man I be, it had been so long since I had met someone of your exquisite beauty and grace, that to not hear from you destroyed any hope I had that you were not like the others.

Now, when we should meet, though you have not changed, it is with sorrow in my heart and a controlled edge to my voice that I will greet you. Yes, it may be petty. Yes, it may be child-like to have such feelings. I fully admit my shortcomings.

I only wanted to spend a short time with you. To listen with rapt attention to your stories as I gazed into your sparkling blue eyes, your breath flowing over your soft, pink lips. To simply be in your presence for a moment, a moment which I would have cherished to my last breath, is all I asked.

Crestfallen

 

[availableslave2u]

dear you,
you know who you are and you know what i want to say.
signed,
just sayin

 

[SuddenStop]

Dear Yahoo Messenger (or the net for that matter),

You have become so quiet and boring! What happened to real people with real conversations? Why have you turned into a few single letters that are to represent real words and ignorant immature D00dz who are so selfish they are only concerned with tossing off and logging out? Even the women are that way now!
Please return to the times of old with real conversations, people with imaginations and know how to use words in ways that inspire and excite!

Sincerely,
Me.

 

[ms_intrigue]

........

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Earache,
And Sinus Headache,
And Fever,
And Sore Throat,
And General Crankiness,

Please to be doing the going away thing now. Plz?

Kthsbai,
Sick, Feverish, Grouchy Me

 

[NattyBumppo]

Dear Earache,
And Sinus Headache,
And Fever,
And Sore Throat,
And General Crankiness,

Please to be doing the going away thing now. Plz?

Kthsbai,
Sick, Feverish, Grouchy Me

Dear Sick, Feverish, Grouchy You,

I'm sorry you're all of those. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Under A Different Kind of Weather Litster

(I know, wrong thread...so sue me...)

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Sick, Feverish, Grouchy You,

I'm sorry you're all of those. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Under A Different Kind of Weather Litster

(I know, wrong thread...so sue me...)

Dear UADKOWT,

Oy.

Just kill me now, ok? And so very sorry for whatever is ailing you. *big, germ-free hug*

 

[jenniferbaby]

Dear Heartache,

Kindly go away.

Me.

 

[jenniferbaby]

Dear X,

I'm a little sad that you haven't seemed to want to talk to me. I did think we had some things in common and you seemed really nice, but maybe the feeling wasn't mutual. You're invisible on yahoo all the time, at least to me, and I've done it a couple of times to people so I know other people do it as well. Anyway, it was nice getting to know you, the couple times we chatted.

Me (I can't seem to come up with any more clever way to close these )

 

[availableslave2u]

dear spasticity,
won't you let me sleep for just a bit? you always feel better after i sleep...why do you make it so difficult? i am going to try to sleep again. please behave.
signed
tired and sore