Dear X

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Dear pathologically-dishonest applicant,

Some day a judge is going to squash you like a bug.

Patiently waiting for that day,
The Public Interest
 
Dear X,

That maple sausage smells absolutely delish wafting thru my nostrils,
please please hurry up with making breakfast because just smelling it I feel as if I'm going to starve if I don't get it now.

signed
Been forever since you made breakfast.
 
Dear Weather,
Are you trying to kill me here? You rain in the morning and it's almost bearable. I leave work and it's 90* with a humidity level that has to be near 100%. The second you step outside and sweat begins to drip...It's too damn hot. Give the world a break. Snow!

Signed,
I Just Asked for Snow, Have I Lost My Mind
 
Dear forgetful

I am glad you felt like it wasnt a big deal but if you pulled you head out of your ass or off your cock for 3 seconds you might see it differently.

Do you realize how absolutely horrible it was to have tell you what I told you 3 times?

You put it out there like we are long time pals but cant remember something as horrifying as that?

I had nothing more to hear from you, even sorry.

Way to get sympathy for you side! Hope it makes you feel righteous!

I would have stepping in there had the issue not been so personal, private and life altering.
 
Dear Lister

Isnt it great the sympathy you can get for yourself, when only one side of the story is there? Not that ANY of this is anyone business.

Do you think that thread makes me rethink things? It only makes me wish I had done it sooner!
 
Dear soulmate,

Where are you? I am patiently waiting for you to find me.
Please come soon. :rose:

Bill :cool:
 
Dear Cowboy,

You are my dream come true, my everything, my heart.

I truly am the luckiest girl in the world and will never let

you forget it.

Waiting in the kitchen for that dance.........
 
Dear Cowboy,

You are my dream come true, my everything, my heart.

I truly am the luckiest girl in the world and will never let

you forget it.

Waiting in the kitchen for that dance.........

and dressed to kill;)........yeeeeehaaaaaAAAAAAAA
 
Dear Airport Screeners,

I do not look like a terrorist, nor do I carry good that terrorists would carry. I hope you enjoyed your tour of my suitcase and thank you so very much for all that extra time at the airport while I waited for the next flight and my bag to arrive.

Loved lunch ... it should have been on you~



Dear Man at the Beach in the rather unfortunate mankini,

I have to say that I have never seen a Yeti on the beach in a very small Euro suit before, but am thankful for the added bonus of the large hibiscus and orchid flowers on it did draw the eye away from one very hairy body.

Those photos will live in infamy~



Dear Line Jumpers at Amusement/Theme Parks

That facebook page will be up soon, and your face will be featured.

Just sayin' we're all gonna laugh at your good fortune!
 
Dear Hot Iron-Worker Dude,

Please hurry up and get your g/f back home safe, I am missing you terribly! Its been awhile, and I crave your undivided attention.......my man just wont give it up, not on my birthday and now not on our anniversary......made me feel REALLY special I tell ya. But its okay, because all that freakiness that is overflowing my mental state right now, will benefit YOU tremendously....:devil::heart::kiss:

Anxiously awaiting thursday....

xoxo

sbelle:rose:
 
you're welcome :kiss: let us know how it turns out.

Dear AS2U:heart: and other well wishers :)

Started the new job this week, also relocated (not too far) and found a nice daycare for the little one. Things fell into place quite smoothly. The job is great and so is the boss. All these changes have made me happier than I have been in a long long time.

:D Smiling Like Crazy Litster
 
Dear family and friends,

I am trying really hard to not have my feelings utterly destroyed over your absence when we invite you out for different events, parties and gatherings. I know everyone has busy lives (I have one too!) but it's really depressing when you consistently don't show up and always at the last minute have something more pressing to do.

I've tried giving you several weeks notice, you complain that you're really more spontaneous than that and prefer to plan off the cuff. I've tried inviting you out a couple days before, you complain that there wasn't enough time to plan it in between everything else in your life. Some of you don't respond at all, and instead leave me to wonder if your invitation was eaten by polar bears exploring your neighborhood, or taken by virtual monkeys hacking your inbox.

I know hosting events is always rife with the uncertainty of who's coming and the disappointment of a long list of cancellations. I just had to get my frustration out into the void so that I don't go all ninja-sadist on some poor friend who actually decided to show up today.
 
Dear Family of Fox,

Thank you for catching that ground hog this morning. However, I do not appreciate one of you chasing the DW up on my porch, and don't get the idea that you're allowed on my porch.

Stick to ground hogs and rabbits and moles...oh my! :D

Please Co-exist With My Cats Litster
 
Dear Invitation Addresser,
Could you have just pretended I had someone to bring to a wedding? You don't know if I'm dating anyone or not. I'm not, but that's not really the point. You don't know if I have a date, because I wouldn't talk about it even if I did. Now I'm freakin depressed cause I don't have one. You've depressed me so much, I might forget to bring a present. And I know you only want more presents (You'd prefer cash, which is why I'm not going to give you any.) which is why I didn't get stuck on my parent's invitation. We all know you're greedy and marrying the boy cause his family has money. You may love him, but for those of us who know you...

Signed,
Please Don't Ask When I'm Going To Have Children, The Last Time I Had Sex, Or Why I'm Still Alone

P.S. Black and white for a summer wedding? Granted I've never had the opportunity to plan a wedding, but that just seems horribly out of place for a SUMMER wedding.
 
Dear L,

I wonder why you have to try and demonstrate your apparent superior intelligence by qualifying my posts on Facebook? Any post that starts with "Well actually..." starts a little trickle of irritation at the base of my spine which travels up my back down my arms and makes me want to use them to RIP YOUR PATRONISING FUCKING HEAD OFF...

Forgive me for being excited about something...I'm sorry for being optimistic when your life apparently sucks at the moment another issue for which I am conveniently responsible also.

I apologise for having had the guts and the foresight to make some patently right decisions in my past

Stop fucking whining and get on with things or you'll find I'm afraid that the person who is your current scapegoat but also the one you will come crying to when you need someone to pick you up once again is no longer there

No longer taking it Me
 
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