call_me_Melody
V-Chip Enabled
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Posts
- 8,862
Dear Millianthe,
I have you have a better day today.
Melody
I have you have a better day today.
Melody
Dear X
- Thread starter Lorilei
- Start date
- Status
limiwa
Something new every day
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2005
- Posts
- 9,851
Dear Doc's office,
Yeah, i'll bring the magic piece of plastic (insurance card) to the office so you can set me up a lovely bill to pre-pay. The cost will be well worth the effort...cause the results will be the best of blessings.
your patient
**************************************************************
Dear Dentist,
Put your fangs away. I will pay you this morning. It was nice of you to send me a full price bill after the insurance paid you. I am not prepared to over pay you. Have your calculator ready, bitches.
Signed,
the mother of your patient
**************************************************************
Yeah, i'll bring the magic piece of plastic (insurance card) to the office so you can set me up a lovely bill to pre-pay. The cost will be well worth the effort...cause the results will be the best of blessings.
your patient
**************************************************************
Dear Dentist,
Put your fangs away. I will pay you this morning. It was nice of you to send me a full price bill after the insurance paid you. I am not prepared to over pay you. Have your calculator ready, bitches.
Signed,
the mother of your patient
**************************************************************
Pinktacokitty
Longhorn Dyme
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2008
- Posts
- 20,417
Dear Work.
I do not want to go, but I am going. I do not want to sit in meeting today, but I will. I do not want to see clients, but I will. Just know I will be thinking about other things today, when you see the glazed look in my eyes, and the rose color come to my cheeks it is not my excitement over being at work, it is me thinking about the orgasms I had in recent days..
Sincerely, not into work today PTK.
I do not want to go, but I am going. I do not want to sit in meeting today, but I will. I do not want to see clients, but I will. Just know I will be thinking about other things today, when you see the glazed look in my eyes, and the rose color come to my cheeks it is not my excitement over being at work, it is me thinking about the orgasms I had in recent days..
Sincerely, not into work today PTK.
TallHotChick
This Way Up.
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2006
- Posts
- 1,201
Dear the ex who wont stop texting,
You had your chance, you fucked someone else. Get over it, move on, and if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Signed,
A screwed over THC
You had your chance, you fucked someone else. Get over it, move on, and if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Signed,
A screwed over THC
WaitingLips
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2008
- Posts
- 749
Dear Loud Ones Next Door,
Thought a wrecking ball was demo'ing the house here already
Was expecting a chainsaw through my bedroom wall at any moment
Would it kill ya to knock on my door and let me know what you are up to?
We've know each other for what, 10 years?
Had to come out and see what was going on for myself.
You scared the Bejeezus outta me
I have a nail gun and a two by four in hand, just in case ,Lister.
and certainly not for helping purposes
Thought a wrecking ball was demo'ing the house here already
Was expecting a chainsaw through my bedroom wall at any moment
Would it kill ya to knock on my door and let me know what you are up to?
We've know each other for what, 10 years?
Had to come out and see what was going on for myself.
You scared the Bejeezus outta me
I have a nail gun and a two by four in hand, just in case ,Lister.
and certainly not for helping purposes
EnglishRoseFox
Rosie Two-Scoops
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2007
- Posts
- 54,669
Dear X
Oh whatever!
Me
Oh whatever!
Me
limiwa
Something new every day
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2005
- Posts
- 9,851
Dear Health Insurance Company From Hell, yeah the one in Richmond!
Go eff off already. Make up your mind what my deductable/premimun is. I already made up my mind, but you seem to change it for me upon your whim. Whatever. I still need drugs and that thing done. The dope I've got, the thing is scheduled...now make up you effin minds while I still have health coverage.
Signed,
Someone Who Pays for Insurance
Go eff off already. Make up your mind what my deductable/premimun is. I already made up my mind, but you seem to change it for me upon your whim. Whatever. I still need drugs and that thing done. The dope I've got, the thing is scheduled...now make up you effin minds while I still have health coverage.
Signed,
Someone Who Pays for Insurance
red_lynn
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2002
- Posts
- 142
Dear Universe,
Can I just get a little break? I'm putting in the effort and I thought I was finally getting my balance back. Was it really necessary to yank on the carpet under me last night and this morning?
Tired of pulling the strings back together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear X,
Thank you for showing me that I am capable of enforcing the boundaries that keep me sane. Thank you for showing me that I'm still prone to being too trusting even though I thought I was getting better about not trusting the wrong people. Thanks you for reminding me that I should look at how people talk about the people who aren't there as well as how they treat me when I am there.
Most importantly though...thank you for hanging up on me when I tried to tell you why I felt you were out of line. Thank you for making sure I took that extra few minutes to realize that you were emotionally abusive to me and that I'd rather have no friends, than have friends who feel it's ok to emotionally beat the shit out of me when I'm not meeting their standards for how I'm living my life. Thank you for making sure I realized that you live in a fucking spun glass house and you're throwing really big rocks at me.
I'm an ok mother (working hard on being better), an amazing wife, and a really good friend. You had no right to tell me I'm horrible at all of those. Fortunately our mutual friend doesn't agree with you, and neither does my husband. I just hope your fiance realizes what a manipulative ass you are before she makes the mistake of marrying you. I only wish I could tell her without coming off as a vindictive bitch. I should have kept my mouth shut when you were dating the manipulative bitch. You deserved her, not the sweet intelligent and caring woman you're in the process of manipulating.
Have a life...
Your former friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Karma,
Thank you for blowing up X's motorcycle 5 days after he verbally beat the shit out of me. I didn't ask you for it, but I did sit and giggle when I heard about it.
Love
,
Me
Can I just get a little break? I'm putting in the effort and I thought I was finally getting my balance back. Was it really necessary to yank on the carpet under me last night and this morning?
Tired of pulling the strings back together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear X,
Thank you for showing me that I am capable of enforcing the boundaries that keep me sane. Thank you for showing me that I'm still prone to being too trusting even though I thought I was getting better about not trusting the wrong people. Thanks you for reminding me that I should look at how people talk about the people who aren't there as well as how they treat me when I am there.
Most importantly though...thank you for hanging up on me when I tried to tell you why I felt you were out of line. Thank you for making sure I took that extra few minutes to realize that you were emotionally abusive to me and that I'd rather have no friends, than have friends who feel it's ok to emotionally beat the shit out of me when I'm not meeting their standards for how I'm living my life. Thank you for making sure I realized that you live in a fucking spun glass house and you're throwing really big rocks at me.
I'm an ok mother (working hard on being better), an amazing wife, and a really good friend. You had no right to tell me I'm horrible at all of those. Fortunately our mutual friend doesn't agree with you, and neither does my husband. I just hope your fiance realizes what a manipulative ass you are before she makes the mistake of marrying you. I only wish I could tell her without coming off as a vindictive bitch. I should have kept my mouth shut when you were dating the manipulative bitch. You deserved her, not the sweet intelligent and caring woman you're in the process of manipulating.
Have a life...
Your former friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Karma,
Thank you for blowing up X's motorcycle 5 days after he verbally beat the shit out of me. I didn't ask you for it, but I did sit and giggle when I heard about it.
Love
,Me
call_me_Melody
V-Chip Enabled
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Posts
- 8,862
Dear Me,
What on earth were you thinking that you let the bathtub overflow for an, let's say UNSPECIFIED, amount of time until you flooded the entire basement an inch deep.
Please know that tomorrow you will be rewashing all the laundry, re-sorting everything down there and using all kinds 4 letter words in frustration.
Tonight, remember that you are still not 100% up to par and that the mess ISN'T going anywhere before then.
Don't beat yourself up over it, if anyone else in the house had done it you wouldn't be mad at them.
xoxo
Me
What on earth were you thinking that you let the bathtub overflow for an, let's say UNSPECIFIED, amount of time until you flooded the entire basement an inch deep.
Please know that tomorrow you will be rewashing all the laundry, re-sorting everything down there and using all kinds 4 letter words in frustration.
Tonight, remember that you are still not 100% up to par and that the mess ISN'T going anywhere before then.
Don't beat yourself up over it, if anyone else in the house had done it you wouldn't be mad at them.
xoxo
Me
NattyBumppo
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 29, 2009
- Posts
- 25,527
Dear Dipstick and Dipstick's Sidekick,
I know it's been thirty-two years since we crossed paths, but this is long overdue. Today I shot free throws at the Y and realized that you two putative educators screwed me up something fierce. Because you, Dipstick, tried to live vicariously through your players because you lost a chance at the NBA, you ruined my ankles. By insinuating that I was a malingerer when in fact I was playing on a broken ankle, you caused a then-impressionable teenager to risk his health with the result being ligaments and tendons that more closely resemble shredded wheat. No ice skating for me; instead, pain when I try to ski and running is now out of the question. I should have taken a clue from your inspirational anecdote about how your newlywed wife rebounded free throws for you on your honeymoon. You were an idiot.
And Sidekick, you couldn't coach your way out of the proverbial paperbag. You no more knew about basketball strategy than you knew how to keep your hands off of minors. What's more, I could have taught that sophomore year class in American literature and gotten more out of it. I admit it gave me great satisfaction when I learned sometime after I graduated that you were fired for having relations with one of your high school students.
You two are the poster boys for what's wrong in American education today.
When You See Me Coming, Cross To The Other Side Of The Street
I know it's been thirty-two years since we crossed paths, but this is long overdue. Today I shot free throws at the Y and realized that you two putative educators screwed me up something fierce. Because you, Dipstick, tried to live vicariously through your players because you lost a chance at the NBA, you ruined my ankles. By insinuating that I was a malingerer when in fact I was playing on a broken ankle, you caused a then-impressionable teenager to risk his health with the result being ligaments and tendons that more closely resemble shredded wheat. No ice skating for me; instead, pain when I try to ski and running is now out of the question. I should have taken a clue from your inspirational anecdote about how your newlywed wife rebounded free throws for you on your honeymoon. You were an idiot.
And Sidekick, you couldn't coach your way out of the proverbial paperbag. You no more knew about basketball strategy than you knew how to keep your hands off of minors. What's more, I could have taught that sophomore year class in American literature and gotten more out of it. I admit it gave me great satisfaction when I learned sometime after I graduated that you were fired for having relations with one of your high school students.
You two are the poster boys for what's wrong in American education today.
When You See Me Coming, Cross To The Other Side Of The Street
EnglishRoseFox
Rosie Two-Scoops
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2007
- Posts
- 54,669
Dear Washing
If you could take yourself out of the maching shake yourself and hang yourself on the line for a nice little flap that would be excellent. If you could also get yourself in off the line and instruct the iron to iron you flat that would wonderful.
Everso Grateful Me
If you could take yourself out of the maching shake yourself and hang yourself on the line for a nice little flap that would be excellent. If you could also get yourself in off the line and instruct the iron to iron you flat that would wonderful.
Everso Grateful Me
misfortunex
Brummies Lil Minx
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Posts
- 10,434
Dear Friend
I really am looking forward to tonight. I havent had a great week, as you know, but am going to attempt to have the best time. I know how much you need tonight, and you know how much I want to enjoy it. May the sea breeze flow rather than blow, as that would just suck. May "Believe" sound as it has never before sounded. And may tomorrow not be too painful. Tho I am sure it will.
Your friend of never long enough xx
I really am looking forward to tonight. I havent had a great week, as you know, but am going to attempt to have the best time. I know how much you need tonight, and you know how much I want to enjoy it. May the sea breeze flow rather than blow, as that would just suck. May "Believe" sound as it has never before sounded. And may tomorrow not be too painful. Tho I am sure it will.
Your friend of never long enough xx
kendra1980
book writing :)
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2006
- Posts
- 61,428
Dear Circumstance...
Sometimes you blow. Yep, I said it. You suck, mightily.
Please go away and leave my love and I alone. There are many more fish in the sea to be messing with, and we are getting very tired of it.
I have a short list of 3 names. If you could focus your efforts on those 3 people, I would then reevaluate my thoughts on you.
I am offering...a warden, a drama priss, and a spiteful bitch. Now, that looks like some kinda fun, doesn't it? Natty and I are kind of boring when you see the above fun filled opportunity.
Focus on fun!!!
Gratefully,
K
Sometimes you blow. Yep, I said it. You suck, mightily.
Please go away and leave my love and I alone. There are many more fish in the sea to be messing with, and we are getting very tired of it.
I have a short list of 3 names. If you could focus your efforts on those 3 people, I would then reevaluate my thoughts on you.
I am offering...a warden, a drama priss, and a spiteful bitch. Now, that looks like some kinda fun, doesn't it? Natty and I are kind of boring when you see the above fun filled opportunity.
Focus on fun!!!
Gratefully,
K
laydee_luck
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2007
- Posts
- 3,348
Dear Mother Nature,
Thank you for all the rain!
Nature Lover
Thank you for all the rain!
Nature Lover
Pinktacokitty
Longhorn Dyme
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2008
- Posts
- 20,417
Dear Bally's Fitness Center.
Quit bugging me to re up my contract you lost me, I had to give up either La Fitness, 24 Hr Fitness or you. You are not as good as the other two, sorry leave me alone......
Sincerely, gone from Ballys PTK.
Quit bugging me to re up my contract you lost me, I had to give up either La Fitness, 24 Hr Fitness or you. You are not as good as the other two, sorry leave me alone......
Sincerely, gone from Ballys PTK.
Lorilei
asexual prude
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 24,736
Dear Ex,
A year ago I was falling for you. Hard, as it turned out. Even though you never really returned my feelings, and despite all that has happened, I hope that someday you'll be able to look back on that time as fondly as I do. It was a happy time in my life, and it's a very nice memory for me.
Affectionately,
Me
A year ago I was falling for you. Hard, as it turned out. Even though you never really returned my feelings, and despite all that has happened, I hope that someday you'll be able to look back on that time as fondly as I do. It was a happy time in my life, and it's a very nice memory for me.
Affectionately,
Me
kendra1980
book writing :)
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2006
- Posts
- 61,428
See circumstance post by me above Bisolom....I've sicced her on three other people...you should be good, as you are not one of them
Doing my part
bisolom
A Nice Guy
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2009
- Posts
- 4,640
See circumstance post by me above Bisolom....I've sicced her on three other people...you should be good, as you are not one of them
Doing my part
Whew!
Thanks K.
btw: Rae said she had a great time.
Thanks.
kendra1980
book writing :)
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2006
- Posts
- 61,428
Whew!
Thanks K.
btw: Rae said she had a great time.
Thanks.
She's lovely in every conceivable way, you lucky duck!
And you are most welcome. It is time we began asking Fate for good things, and expecting she will give them to us.
availableslave2u
naturally moist
- Joined
- May 25, 2007
- Posts
- 58,013
dear hp,
would you please hire some english speaking telephone customer service representatives? when i call in with a problem, if i could talk to someone who spoke english i bet my quick question would be quick and not take over an hour. i'm sure the representatives you've hired are lovely people and they're probably even knowledgeable, but it doesn't help me if i can't understand a damned word they say.
signed
it's not b as in bictory
would you please hire some english speaking telephone customer service representatives? when i call in with a problem, if i could talk to someone who spoke english i bet my quick question would be quick and not take over an hour. i'm sure the representatives you've hired are lovely people and they're probably even knowledgeable, but it doesn't help me if i can't understand a damned word they say.
signed
it's not b as in bictory
Pinktacokitty
Longhorn Dyme
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2008
- Posts
- 20,417
Dear Rain.
You got me wet last night, it was ok had a t shirt dress on it looked hot a lil wet, but tonight is a different circumstance. Please go away.
Sincerely, wanna keep my cloths dry tonight PTK.
You got me wet last night, it was ok had a t shirt dress on it looked hot a lil wet, but tonight is a different circumstance. Please go away.
Sincerely, wanna keep my cloths dry tonight PTK.
Pinktacokitty
Longhorn Dyme
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2008
- Posts
- 20,417
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