Dear X

[Macdaddy23]

Dear Moronic Cerrato, Cut Daniel. Put Brennan on the Practice Squad and sign Mitchell, Dorsey, Alridge and Mason. Put Westbrook on the Practice Squad.

 

[big_d_in_me]

Dear Penis,

Thank you for being my friend. I know I have put you some tight spots yet you never let me down until the job is done. You always rise to the occasion whenever duty calls, no matter if it's just you and I or if we have new friends to meet. All those beatings you endured from my hands have taught you well. For all that you do, I am forever gratefull.

Your life long friend,

D

 

[aniram]

Dear idiot I work for...

I know that I do whatever you ask, and don't complain about it all that much.
BUT... leaving me 17 voice mails on my cell phone last night, while my kids are away is not cool. I almost had a heart attack when I picked up my phone this morning.
But... yes I will do the presentation for you.
Yes I will make sure it rocks. I know, I know, I'm a freakin genius... glad you appreciate me. Give me less compliments and more money.
But...this time...
Please know I am not prepared
Please know that I may royally fuck this up and if I do, I don't want to hear about it.
Please know that although I will put in an appearance at the meet and greet after I don't want to, I hate that crap and you know it.
Please know that sometimes... just sometimes I need to have a life outside of work and that I am considering submitting my own work to a major studio.. 2 actually, one we work with and one that we don't.

The suite is going to be lovely I'm sure, it was very thoughtful of you to book it for me, and it'll be nice to not have to drive back home after... but I'm going alone, so I'll probably just drive home anyhow. Hotels lose their glamour after you've seen enough and then it's just lonely.

oh yeah...and I'm taking Tuesday off.
Mel
PS..... I'm sure the view will be lovely, but I swear if someone grabs my ass at this stupid cocktail party I'm going to smack them.

Dear Mel, Thankyou for posting the above, it really made me smile.

 

[limiwa]

Dear Big Truck Driver,

Yeah, I'm aware that you help to move laods of stuff in this country...but you will move nada iffin you continue to think you can turn left into/across on-comming traffic. Just cause your signal is on, doesn't give you the rightaway. Thanks for not broad-siding my self last night. Get yer eyes checked. Take a class on driver rules with the other numbnut who thinks just cause the lanes merge, he can merge with out yeilding.

Thanks Bunches,

un-hit cause i'm lucky me

 

[limiwa]

Dearest Danville Braves,

Excellent game! Enjoy another Appalachian Championship year, y'all deserve it!

A Fan.

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Mel, Thankyou for posting the above, it really made me smile.

Dear Aniram,
I'm glad it made you smile. I'm also glad the presentation is over! LOL

Melody-
kicking back in my suite now with no shoes on, dreading only the cocktail party
(I did book a massage for 4pm!)

 

[TallMan60]

Dear Aniram,
I'm glad it made you smile. I'm also glad the presentation is over! LOL

Melody-
kicking back in my suite now with no shoes on, dreading only the cocktail party
(I did book a massage for 4pm!)

Make sure you don't wear panties.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear husband,
do you think i enjoy being upset with you? do you think i take pleasure in having serious conversations about money? if you answered yes to either one, your are so seriously mistaken it's not even funny. you're adding all kinds of unwanted and unneeded stress to my life. just admit it, you have an addiction. you cannot be trusted with money. thank you for pissing away all that money and making me freak out again about how we're going to pay the bills. i meant what i said today, i do love you but i seriously don't like you at all. you're a self centered bastard who doesn't even realize that i'm already out of this relationship. please think about the conversation we had earlier today when you see me walking out the front door. i'm done having you belittle me and make me feel like i'm an idiot. guess what dear? i'm not.
your soon to be ex-wife.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear summer,
where did you go? it seems like you just got here. it's not that i don't like your sibling fall, because truth be told, i like fall better than you. i am just not a huge fan of winter.
wishing you'd stay just a little longer

 

[ccwalt]

Dear Prudence,
Won't you come out to play?

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Uterus,

Pleast stop with the cramping now. I don't want to have to rip you out.

Kthxbai.

Love,

The Rest of Your Body

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Fate

Thank you. Just THANK YOU! Does Ha ha happy dance *wiggle wiggle*

Soon To Experience Another New Experience Me

 

[bisolom]

Dear me...

*sigh*
That is all.

Tired litster

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear B.O.B.(Beast Of Burden)

I understand you only cost me $700 and you were suppose to be temporary. Stop making me put way too much money to keep you running.

Sick of It

 

[Rikki_13]

dear soon to be ex hubby,

what the fuck dont you understand? i cant make it any simpler or easier for you to grasp. i know you are not that bif of a fucking idiot. for years you tore me down. now that i have changed and decided i have had enough of your shit, suddenly you give a damn. now it matters? the only reason it fucking matters to you now is because you are getting a dose of the misery, pain and heartache that you put me through. it fucking sucks monkey balls doesn't? so quit sending me the emails, text messages, etc about how horrible your life is now that i am gone. quit deliberately mind fucking me every day. just quit tearing me down. quit acting like you have no clue what happened because you know, we talked about it way too much. i poured my heart and soul into our marriage and it meant jack shit nothing to you then, and it means jack shit nothing to me now. can you understand this LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!

obviously not, cause your stupid ass is still texting me.

seriously tired of the never ending mind fucks,

rikki

 

[CMsPrincess]

Dear X's

Thank you for making me feel so unimportant in your life. Actually at first it made me really sad and depressed...but in the end, you did me a huge favor.

Sincerely,

Indifferent Too

 

[Wings27]

Dear Crackbook,

I despise the way you keep throwing me off chat. I'm trying to have deep, heartfelt conversations here. About sex. And food. And furniture. Geesh!

Get it together please.

mmmkay, thanks.

 

[jenniferbaby]

Dear people who make court transcripts,

Did you ever consider hole punching the pages of your books and putting them in a nice binder perhaps? Possibly so that someone could remove the pages and feed them through the copy machine without breaking the nice binding? Possibly so poor assistants who have to make copies of these 300-page fuckers do not have to spend a couple hours in front of a copy machine copying one fucking page at a time??? Think on it, it would be oh so helpful.

Just a suggestion

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Excitement

Please could you try and keep it to a dull roar I think I'm gonna have a nosebleed.

Over Excitable Under Normal Circumstances Anyway Me

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear Smokers You Stink, Get A Clue.

Thank goodness the cities of Dallas and Ft Worth have banned smoking in public buildings, to bad it is not banned everywhere in public. You go outside toke one then come back in the club, and hit on me, come on like I want to kiss an ashtray. Get a clue!!!!!!!!!

P.S. no it is not a sickness, it is a choice. You choose to smoke. You are also choosing to make your children, and grand children watch you die a miserable death from lung cancer, which is a sickness that you will not have a choice to just put down and leave behind.



Sincerely, getting off my soapbox PTK.

 

[Xkalibir]

Dear Band Mates,

If you keep me out drinking til 4 in the morning
on a worknight again, I will quit the band.

Well, maybe ugh, I feel like shit today.

signed, Your frontman that's bangin' in to work today

 

[bisolom]

Dear Smokers You Stink, Get A Clue.

Thank goodness the cities of Dallas and Ft Worth have banned smoking in public buildings, to bad it is not banned everywhere in public. You go outside toke one then come back in the club, and hit on me, come on like I want to kiss an ashtray. Get a clue!!!!!!!!!

P.S. no it is not a sickness, it is a choice. You choose to smoke. You are also choosing to make your children, and grand children watch you die a miserable death from lung cancer, which is a sickness that you will not have a choice to just put down and leave behind.



Sincerely, getting off my soapbox PTK.

*steals PTK's soapbox and hides it behind the cigarettes*

 

[Pinktacokitty]

*steals PTK's soapbox and hides it behind the cigarettes*

lol...thats ok I have lots of them.

 

[Millianthe]

Dear silly little mind of mine;

What did you expect? Has anyone EVER kept a promise to you? No, I didn't think so.

Now then, put on your best face and act like nothing's wrong... and nothing feels rejected... and that you knew deep down you'd never get flowers or the romance you have ached and craved for so long...

Signed,
Alone again... naturally.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear you,
i want to fuck you so bad.
me