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Dear Son or Daughter,
While I anxiously await your arrival please realize i am scared as hell. The wife and I have been through a lot. Just know that we will do our best to provide for you. All I ask is that you do not sap her sex drive and for God's sake never find this site.
Thanks

Dear If Only I Had A Magic Wand,
I have a Magic Wand. It doesn't get the laundry clean, but it sure keeps me happy between loads.
Signed,
Loads of Smiles
would love some hugs and understanding
Dear X-
I love you. I'll miss you. Get there safe and come back safe.
And don't do anything stupid
Love,
Your Lucky-as-hell Wife

Dear X:
I know you were acting out of love for her and I. But really, unless you want to play a bigger role in our lives, things will be stuck this way. Step up to the plate, sweep me off my feet, become a part of us, and help us make some permanent changes. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place on this one. There is no easy way out. Either choice sucks. I cannot block certain peeps from her life forever. I can limit it and control it legally, and that's what I'm in the process of trying to accomplish. I know they are all shitheads, I agree with most of what you said. But, shitheads or not, she will have to make up her own opinions as she grows older. I will not have her hating me for choices I've made upon her behalf. I try to remain open and objective, while protecting her. Not an easy job for a single mom.
would love some hugs and understanding
Dear QQ restaurant,
Thank you for being kind and understanding my plight. I had no clue she wanted pork fried rice instead of chicken fried rice. As long as we have been together I have never heard her once ask for pork fried rice. You guys could see the look of horror on my face as I walked back in. You also know my wife is pregnant and well her cravings have gone to the east side. Chinese fried rice all day everyday.
So when I walked through that door 10 minutes after I had left it you all knew something had gone terribly wong. Ok could resist sorry. Just my racist ways. Anyway thank you for switching the fried rice to pork without charging me for it. Lord knows we have kept you guys in business over the past week. I have never eaten so much rice and bean sprouts in my life.
As you know I can't get what I like because my wife doesn't like the way it looks and so it makes her nauseous. So the fact you give me some on the side for me to quickly eat is very very kind. Please do not think of her as a bitch. She is just very hormonal and quirky right now. The fact that I look like a homeless man shows you just how much I am dealing with her at home. Now if I don't bring home fried rice as I walk in the door she doesn't say anything. Instead shje just looks at me like I am a stupid motherfucker for not knowing what she wants before she even tells me.
Amazing how a beautiful sweet lady can go from angel to cunt between breaths. I for one enjoy my little trips to your establishment. It gives me a break from having to explain why I sleep on my stomach when she cannot. Or why I am drinking a beer when she cannot. I just explain that the only way I can deal with all of this is if I am in a constant state of haziness. Otherwise I would probably kill her.
Signed,
Fried rice sucks after the 10th day in a row
Dear QQ restaurant,
Thank you for being kind and understanding my plight. I had no clue she wanted pork fried rice instead of chicken fried rice. As long as we have been together I have never heard her once ask for pork fried rice. You guys could see the look of horror on my face as I walked back in. You also know my wife is pregnant and well her cravings have gone to the east side. Chinese fried rice all day everyday.
So when I walked through that door 10 minutes after I had left it you all knew something had gone terribly wong. Ok could resist sorry. Just my racist ways. Anyway thank you for switching the fried rice to pork without charging me for it. Lord knows we have kept you guys in business over the past week. I have never eaten so much rice and bean sprouts in my life.
As you know I can't get what I like because my wife doesn't like the way it looks and so it makes her nauseous. So the fact you give me some on the side for me to quickly eat is very very kind. Please do not think of her as a bitch. She is just very hormonal and quirky right now. The fact that I look like a homeless man shows you just how much I am dealing with her at home. Now if I don't bring home fried rice as I walk in the door she doesn't say anything. Instead shje just looks at me like I am a stupid motherfucker for not knowing what she wants before she even tells me.
Amazing how a beautiful sweet lady can go from angel to cunt between breaths. I for one enjoy my little trips to your establishment. It gives me a break from having to explain why I sleep on my stomach when she cannot. Or why I am drinking a beer when she cannot. I just explain that the only way I can deal with all of this is if I am in a constant state of haziness. Otherwise I would probably kill her.
Signed,
Fried rice sucks after the 10th day in a row
