Dear X:

[Lizzie_Borden]

I was wondering why would anyone "bump bump bump" a thread, that's been posted to 20 minutes earlier.

post count whoring, would be my guess.

 

[seela]

post count whoring, would be my guess.

I suppose the Playground word games are so last season, then.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I suppose the Playground word games are so last season, then.

Yeah, the cool kids bump threads these days.

 

[copslut]

Any time you feel confused, lost, or just have questions, there are loads and loads of folks here who have wisdom and insight out the wazoo: CutieMouse, graceanne, and many others would likely be happy to "talk" with you via PM, etc., any time you want... just pick one you think you'll be comfy with and PM 'em.

Thank you. I can't talk about any of this stuff with regular/vanilla people. They just go right there.... which makes me feel like how I'm living "is" really not right and to be candid even thinking such a thought that he doesn't deserve me feels like betrayal and I feel guilty for saying it and they wouldn't get that either.

 

[minx1]

Dear x,

I think about things a lot.

I wonder if you ever feel bad about what happened?

If you ever feel guilty?

I wonder if you ever think about it; us and if it ever meant anything.

I wonder whether one day, you will have the decency and the courage to talk to me about what happened. I hope you will. I need that.

I wonder if you realise the devastating effect that all this has had on me and whether it matters to you.

Yeah, I think about things a lot.

me

 

[ultramarineblue]

Dear X,

I don't know what exactly is wrong. I know that things aren't right. I am disappointed in you. I don't know if I've already decided that things are over or what. I just can't see how I could handle you doing this again. Do not tell me you are going to do something if you won't or can't make it happen. I feel used. I know that it isn't intentional but the feeling is there nonetheless. I'm not really wanting to talk about it. Talk doesn't do anything. I've got to see action over time, not just one day or one month. I need to step back and just be for a while.

 

[rida]

Dear X,

I don't know what exactly is wrong. I know that things aren't right. I am disappointed in you. I don't know if I've already decided that things are over or what. I just can't see how I could handle you doing this again. Do not tell me you are going to do something if you won't or can't make it happen. I feel used. I know that it isn't intentional but the feeling is there nonetheless. I'm not really wanting to talk about it. Talk doesn't do anything. I've got to see action over time, not just one day or one month. I need to step back and just be for a while.

Dear umb,

The bold part is the key. It does not matter if it is intentional or not on his part. The fact that you feel that way needs to be addressed and a solutions/compromise found.

hugs!

rida

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Dear X,

You have to do what's right for you in the long run, I know that.

I wonder though, how you'll manage to juggle your time and whether I might end up falling down the list of priorities.

I don't think that will be your intention, but life *does* get in the way.

I love you so much, and I'll wait.

Me

 

[ultramarineblue]

Dear umb,

The bold part is the key. It does not matter if it is intentional or not on his part. The fact that you feel that way needs to be addressed and a solutions/compromise found.

hugs!

rida

Thanks. I didn't address it in the earlier conversation but a few things he said to me let me know he knew exactly what was wrong.

 

[notalwaysweak]

Dear X,

I wish you'd realised the line between 'touchy-feely friend' and 'someone who buys me handcuffs'. I naturally assumed that the latter meant that you had some sort of sexual interest in me. Thanks for shooting me down and making me sit outside crying for an hour at the party we were at.

P.S. JSYK your boyfriend looks hot in a dress and I got to see him in it first. NEENER NEENER.

 

[SpiritRider]

P.S. JSYK your boyfriend looks hot in a dress and I got to see him in it first. NEENER NEENER.

SI, thanx for the smile and the laugh...I needed it.

 

[notalwaysweak]

You're welcome. I must admit it felt pretty good to be the one to get to see him in it first. He's got lovely shoulders, and I got a kiss goodnight from him that was quite sweet, so that helped make up for X rejecting me. back to you!

SI, thanx for the smile and the laugh...I needed it.

 

[minx1]

Dear no one,

I've seen it and it makes me so fucking angry to know that you were having a great old time whilst my world shattered and I, no actually you put me a situation where I considered topping myself.

Yup there you were enjoying yourself whilst my reality couldnt have been more different.

It amazes me how people can be so delusional. Well it's either delusional or desperate; not for me to decide.

You know I cant wait til it all comes crumbling down.

It is only a matter of time. It is inevitable and i can wait.


What goes around and all that.

 

[minx1]

Dear no one,

I've seen it and it makes me so fucking angry to know that you were having a great old time whilst my world shattered and I, no actually you put me a situation where I considered topping myself.

Yup there you were enjoying yourself whilst my reality couldnt have been more different.

It amazes me how people can be so delusional. Well it's either delusional or desperate; not for me to decide.

You know I cant wait til it all comes crumbling down.

It is only a matter of time. It is inevitable and i can wait.


What goes around and all that.

Dear god/universe,

please stop me feeling like this. I need some resolution.

I need to know he actually cared.

Please let him get in touch so i may get some answers.

Please just send me a sign that he did mean everything he said back then.

Desperately,

Me

 

[YourCaptor]

Dear god/universe,

please stop me feeling like this. I need some resolution.

I need to know he actually cared.

Please let him get in touch so i may get some answers.

Please just send me a sign that he did mean everything he said back then.

Desperately,

Me

Girl, you don’t want him talking to you. Anyone that hurt you this bad is obviously a bad person. His words have no value anymore. What if he did tell you something, would you believe him, could you believe him. I think he’s proven that you can’t trust him. So fuck him

 

[rida]

Girl, you don’t want him talking to you. Anyone that hurt you this bad is obviously a bad person. His words have no value anymore. What if he did tell you something, would you believe him, could you believe him. I think he’s proven that you can’t trust him. So fuck him

agreed

 

[RawHumor]

Girl, you don’t want him talking to you. Anyone that hurt you this bad is obviously a bad person. His words have no value anymore. What if he did tell you something, would you believe him, could you believe him. I think he’s proven that you can’t trust him. So fuck him

I'll take it one further - I think hearing from him would re-inspire feelings of hope... possibly letting him manipulate you even more.

Minxy, my sunshine girl... please try to realize how wonderful you are. I doubt he could spend any time with you at all and not love you... unless he's a sociopath, which I still haven't ruled out.

 

[Keroin]

Dear god/universe,

please stop me feeling like this. I need some resolution.

I need to know he actually cared.

Please let him get in touch so i may get some answers.

Please just send me a sign that he did mean everything he said back then.

Desperately,

Me

Look, Minx, I know how this feels but it's toxic. Consider him dead.

Rant and rage and cry and soak in hot baths until you prune, listen to all those songs you shouldn't, eat too much chocolate, clean like a madwoman one week, let the house fall into disorder the next, take up the ukulele or the didgeridoo, volunteer at the local animal shelter because damn it you're a nice person a much better person than some other people are, write bad poems and lots of them, change your hair cut, scream at the top of your lungs for no reason.

But do NOT, under any circumstances, communicate with this person by any means (even carrier pigeon). DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is dead. You are grieving. End of story.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Girl, you don’t want him talking to you. Anyone that hurt you this bad is obviously a bad person. His words have no value anymore. What if he did tell you something, would you believe him, could you believe him. I think he’s proven that you can’t trust him. So fuck him

agreed

I'll take it one further - I think hearing from him would re-inspire feelings of hope... possibly letting him manipulate you even more.

Minxy, my sunshine girl... please try to realize how wonderful you are. I doubt he could spend any time with you at all and not love you... unless he's a sociopath, which I still haven't ruled out.

Look, Minx, I know how this feels but it's toxic. Consider him dead.

Rant and rage and cry and soak in hot baths until you prune, listen to all those songs you shouldn't, eat too much chocolate, clean like a madwoman one week, let the house fall into disorder the next, take up the ukulele or the didgeridoo, volunteer at the local animal shelter because damn it you're a nice person a much better person than some other people are, write bad poems and lots of them, change your hair cut, scream at the top of your lungs for no reason.

But do NOT, under any circumstances, communicate with this person by any means (even carrier pigeon). DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is dead. You are grieving. End of story.

QFT, ever' damn bit of it.

 

[VelvetSin]

QFT, ever' damn bit of it.

I've avoided commenting because I didn't know you and didn't want to intrude, but I completely agree with all of the above. From everything written, he sounds like a soul leech and if given another chance, who knows what piece of your heart he would take next.

You can make your own closure, you don't need it from him. Hold a "funeral" and burn something of his - a letter, a t-shirt, anything - and invite some close friends to help you celebrate, because it should be a celebration. You may have to force yourself to enjoy it just then, but you can get through this. You sound like a beautiful person inside and out, and you'll shine again.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Dear god/universe,

please stop me feeling like this. I need some resolution.

I need to know he actually cared.

Please let him get in touch so i may get some answers.

Please just send me a sign that he did mean everything he said back then.

Desperately,

Me

Don't be tempted to talk to him, it will only add to your pain. Whether he meant all he said back then does not matter, what matters is now and tomorrow, and you. He doesn't deserve the emotion and energy you are spending on his memory. Please be strong, and please, if it gets too difficult and thoughts turn ultra dark, promise us you will not act on them and instead talk to someone who is trained to help.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

Dear X, Y, and Z,

Thank you so much for not caring about me. Quite frankly, I think it's fantastic that the three of you spend so much time together without ever bothering to ask me if I'd like to come, too. Never mind the fact that if it weren't for me, you three assholes wouldn't even know one another.

Yeah, there's a problem in this relationship. The problem is that you're all inconsiderate assholes, and when you're called on it, you try to turn around and pin it on me.

Don't try to apologize to me and tell me how sorry you are. If you were really sorry, you'd have stopped doing it a long time ago, since I've been pointing it out to you for months. So kindly don't insult my intelligence with your bullshit apologies.

Oh, you didn't mean it like that? You're not intentionally excluding me? Oh, really? Well, the alternative is you just don't think enough of me for the thought of inviting me to ever cross your minds. I don't see how that's a whole lot better.

Funny, though, how it's always me you come to when you need something nobody else can give you. I'm supposed to just sit back and take your shitty fucking behavior with a smile and wait until you need me. Then, I'm supposed to give you what you want happily, without complaint, and then sit back and wait until I'm needed again. Fuck that. And fuck you. All of you.

You wonder why I'm angry all the time. Well, maybe the problem is not that I'm crazy, but that all of you are inconsiderate users and total assholes. But I suppose that thought will never cross your minds, will it? It's always me who's the problem, mean, ungrateful me, who never appreciates anything you do for her.

You know what? You sonsofbitches all deserve each other.

~Bunny

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I've avoided commenting because I didn't know you and didn't want to intrude, but I completely agree with all of the above. From everything written, he sounds like a soul leech and if given another chance, who knows what piece of your heart he would take next.

You can make your own closure, you don't need it from him. Hold a "funeral" and burn something of his - a letter, a t-shirt, anything - and invite some close friends to help you celebrate, because it should be a celebration. You may have to force yourself to enjoy it just then, but you can get through this. You sound like a beautiful person inside and out, and you'll shine again.

Or burn everything!

*jumps up and down excitedly*

Come on Minxie, let's part-tay!



Or, yannow, Mr has lent me a shovel so I can do some gardening.. We could always take him out bush and drink some wine while he digs a big hole for us to put him in?

 

[Kathykitten]

Dear X

Why do I tear up when I try to even figure out what the hell it is I need to say. We are together, I love you infinitely, you're crazy about me. We'd both put down our life for each other without second thought. I am so happy for what we got, wouldn't give it away for anything.

There are still remnants of pain. Watching you getting so infinitely hurt, physically, mentally, going through so many unspeakable things and being completely unable to help you. Watching you be so self destructive for so long, wondering every time I saw you "what state of mind are you in baby... do I need to repair you today?". All the things they did to you, put you through, your body, exposed you to, all the things that you agreed to, and signed too. It's growing more and more distant like a bad dream.

I didn't know how connected you could get when you take care of someone like we do. I know I get too fussy now, too pushy at times. Maybe if the tables were reversed: Sometimes makes me just chuckle at how much it can bother you that I am simply 'down' in the mood. Sometimes wish you knew what it was to watch you from the sideline, watching over you, gently fishing for you, trying to wrap a protective layer over you. Gently gently... Trying to create all the space in the world, so you could recover yourself, again and again.

I trust you. We got each other still, the world can go to hell. We made it. And a year from now, we'll be able to see it all so much clearer.

Always yours gorgeous.

 

[rida]

Dear S,

I know you do not like me talking like this. But here it goes.

I feel and fear my role in your life is coming to an end. It's scary how I never was able to see far in the future with our relationship: a shiny red thread that just ends in a fog. Does it continue on the other side? Or does it get cut off?

Somehow it feels as if the fog is just my own unwillingness to face reality.
And reality is that I'm not what you want and need. And I'll never be.

Still I will not be the one ending it this time. I'll be here, yours, until you'll call the end of it.

partimely yours

*****************

Dear Mrs. S.,

I guess the chemistry I thought we had was just in my head, a wishful thinking of sort.

I understand it would be kind of awkward having me serving you and S.
However I have to tell you that I was hoping it would work out. And I'm feeling a bit confused and hurt that I've not heard back from you, not even to say "sorry, it is not working".

At any rate, I'm glad I met you. And I'm glad S is married to you.

And you can count on one thing: as far as I'll be in S's life, I will do my best to protect your marriage.

y.