Dear Litster, once more

Dear Fed Up Litsters:

Please stay. Otherwise the trolls and their associates win.

Signed

Let's get 'em
 
Dear lister who thinks I am rude and who cannot see the appeal that some strange folks see...

I am not everyone’s cup of tea... and that’s ok... I wouldn’t want to be. Everyone’s cup of tea would be middling... not too strong... not too weak... not too flavoursome... I have never aspired to be middling.

Focus on your own universe lovely, the world is hard enough for all of us without women tearing one another down, :heart:

Happy to dance to the irregular beat of her own damaged drum litser, xx
 
Dear very Sweet Litster
i want more of you every day and every time
 
Dear Litland,

I probably don’t need to say anything, but it will make me feel a little better.

I often feel like the things I’m posting are “too much”, and it annoys me more than anyone realises. I have the nickname “Miss Positivity” in my offline life, and I end up holding a lot in, and sometimes it bubbles out into my online life. I’m sure we can all relate to having to put on an act for those around us when not feeling okay!

I came back to lit after the death of my mother. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with it. Then recently I had a cancer scare, and to the one close to me, it would have appeared that I was doing my best to ignore it, but honestly it scared the shit out of me and I was in tears daily. Holding that all in eventually burst into a huge vent at the one person I never ever wanted to direct anything like that at. That’s been hurting me ever since.

So now I’ve started medical treatment (not for cancer, for something else) and I feel alone and isolated, and I’m trying to stay positive, but at times the grief of all of the above gets a little too much. So Miss Positivity slips up and lets it out online. I don’t mean to drag anyone down, I’m just trying to navigate a lot at once. Those who talk to me via PM will agree that I’m not the misery I may come across as!

So I apologise to anyone who is annoyed by my posts, and deeply sorry to my friend who received the vent that he’s struggling to forgive me for. I spoke from a place of deep fear.

I’m not after attention, or sympathy, I don’t even need a reply to this. I’m just struggling tonight with knowing I have an appointment in a few hours, and it’s making me think. I just want a clean slate, to start over with everything.

I’m pretty sure I’ll delete this, but for now, I wanted to get some things off my chest

Sleep Deprived Litster


Dear Miss Positivity,

As I read your desire to be honest and share the hurt/sadness/scare in your life, Just know that I am praying for you. I pray for the celebration that came from learning the cancer scare was just that, a scare. I pray that whatever medical treatment you are currently receiving, that it will be nothing but successful and that the doctors treating you will be covered in wisdom which only God provides. I pray that your heart can heal from the loss of your mom and know that she would want joy in your life.

I pray that whomever you vented to, if nothing else, be thankful that you two were close enough for you to know you could...and that the person would understand from where the venting came from and choose comfort over hurt.

I pray for you that you reached out to virtual strangers and opened your heart and pray that the responses you received comforted you.

We have all been there and know how a tender word can calm your heart.

Praying that each new day brings new mercies and that God shines brightly upon you.

Signed,

A praying stranger
 

Dear Suz,

I feel like my stick figure sex tapes made their way on to the internet as part of The Fappening. :D And people have found them. And had a wank.

Gracias for the birthday wishes.

Sincerely,

Sticky Man
 
Dear Miss Positivity,

As I read your desire to be honest and share the hurt/sadness/scare in your life, Just know that I am praying for you. I pray for the celebration that came from learning the cancer scare was just that, a scare. I pray that whatever medical treatment you are currently receiving, that it will be nothing but successful and that the doctors treating you will be covered in wisdom which only God provides. I pray that your heart can heal from the loss of your mom and know that she would want joy in your life.

I pray that whomever you vented to, if nothing else, be thankful that you two were close enough for you to know you could...and that the person would understand from where the venting came from and choose comfort over hurt.

I pray for you that you reached out to virtual strangers and opened your heart and pray that the responses you received comforted you.

We have all been there and know how a tender word can calm your heart.

Praying that each new day brings new mercies and that God shines brightly upon you.

Signed,

A praying stranger

Thank you, that is very sweet of you! :rose:

The medical care is going well, one thing is a “wait and see” situation, two surgical options that aren’t urgent so I have time to think over, and two treatments in progress. Just trying to stay calm, and keep attending.

The other stuff hurts like crazy, but not much I can do except wait it out, and see what happens.

A Thankful Litster :rose:
 
Dear Scared away Litster,

I am sad that you think I would believe any of the rumors. Ones I didn't even hear because I keep my PMs off. other than a few friends. I'm sad that you would run away from even me. Without giving me the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry I didn't reply to your message fast enough. Darn me for having a birthday and actually being busy. :(
Whatever the rumors were. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that people have hurt you so much, that you felt like you had to leave. I am not one of those people, and I wanted nothing but your happiness.
Sad and slightly angry Litster.
 
Hey dear Litster,

Looks like we need to dissolve our pact, huh!

Why didn’t you just tell me?

Oh well.

Shrugs shoulders Litster
 
Dear birthday boy,

You have by far become one of my most loyal and treasured friends here. Your constant love and support has helped me through some of the toughest times. I hope you enjoy your day, eat cake, and kiss a pretty girl.

Love you, sweet man.

Indie

:heart:

Thank you Indie, you’re very much my touch stone around these parts and enrich my happiness in knowing you. I think the world of you and love you to pieces too. If you were swinging by here and I'd be laying that kiss on a pretty girl for sure. ;):rose::heart:

As for all of that helping stuff, I'm going to plead the 5th, you've got the emotional strength and resolve of far more people than you credit yourself.;)
 
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Dear Litster,

I know that you have a lot going on in your life, that there have been some big changes, and that sometimes you pull away to deal with things. Out of respect and love, I have kept my distance, I've let you do what you need to do...

But I miss you. And I don't want to lose you as a friend. So just remember, I am here, 24/7 if you ever need me.

Rooster Pic Litster
 
Dear Cock,

I'm amazing at pushing people away. I've got it down to an art. I'm struggling to find my worth in peoples lives right now. I feel forgotten and replaceable, which makes it easier for me to push people away. Every time I step away, I am reminded how quickly people move on. So I am not quick to come back. I am sorry you get caught up in this though. I still love you to pieces.
Sincerely,
pain in the ass Litster
 
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