Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns..

How long have you been hiding the salami in Suzanne?

She's got it baaaaaaaaaaad..


Kudos ya fuckin stud!

Dear Harem Holder,

Suzanne is way too smart, funny, sexy and sophisticated to me into me. This isn't her flirting with me. This is her picking on me like the cheerleader captain toying with the chess club president. I have no shot. She just dangles herself just out of reach of me.

Signed,

Teach me your secrets

 

[Trekka]

Dear,

Orange is the new IBS,

Yes. Too much orange is very bad for you. Have you experienced your uterine walls getting rind like lately? Be very careful. I hear an orange period peel is very painful.

On a positive note, your period juice is a great breakfast boost to get your day started.

Signed,

Orange you glad you asked

This is bald faced lie as he does not do period sex, nor oral, and as such he has clearly never experienced orange period juice upon his wagging tongue, so how would he know?

Suz: Orange is my favorite color. No, I'm not hitting on you, it really is. OK I'm kinda hitting on you.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I missed out on Steak and a BJ Day.

Is there any way I can get a raincheck? Who do I see about that?

Signed,
Frustrated in West Texas

Dear Missing out in Midland (area),

Yes. There is an app for that. Or a punch card. Or maybe it's just a flesh light.

Signed,

There's an app for everything, no?

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Den

Speaking of Orange we live where oranges grow on trees. But lately I've been worried. I masturbate and eat Cheetos. My penis is orange. Is this a problem?
Or would sex with that carrot eating sweetheart Suz help us both?

orange you glad I asked? By the way I'm wearing my orange gator hat.

 

[Trekka]

orange you glad I asked? By the way I'm wearing my orange gator hat.

Well, CHOMP, then!

 

[IhateClowns]

This is bald faced lie as he does not do period sex, nor oral, and as such he has clearly never experienced orange period juice upon his wagging tongue, so how would he know?

Suz: Orange is my favorite color. No, I'm not hitting on you, it really is. OK I'm kinda hitting on you.

Ummmm. You're right I have never had a tomato period before. I have however had an orange period. I crave vitamin C and if more women had pulp free orange periods I would suck on their tampons.

 

[IhateClowns]

Speaking of Orange we live where oranges grow on trees. But lately I've been worried. I masturbate and eat Cheetos. My penis is orange. Is this a problem?
Or would sex with that carrot eating sweetheart Suz help us both?

orange you glad I asked? By the way I'm wearing my orange gator hat.

It really depends. It helps if you have a small penis. A few precise dusty Cheetoh finger prints can make your penis look deceptively bigger.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Den

Well, CHOMP, then!

Being chomped on the ass by a gator with an orange penis is not something to take lightly.

I need help from the hated clown or Mr Abbey.

 

[Trekka]

Ummmm. You're right I have never had a tomato period before. I have however had an orange period. I crave vitamin C and if more women had pulp free orange periods I would suck on their tampons.

A tomato period?? Lol

http://i3.cpcache.com/product_zoom/1354388318/youve_got_some_splainin_to_do_sticker.jpg?height=250&width=250&padToSquare=true

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

It really depends. It helps if you have a small penis. A few precise dusty Cheetoh finger prints can make your penis look deceptively bigger.

I hate to brag. But as my buddy John Wayne once said "if it's fact it ain't braggin."
So with that taken care of I have a two bag Cheeto orange penis and I need help.
Bill my Obamacare.

 

[IhateClowns]

I hate to brag. But as my buddy John Wayne once said "if it's fact it ain't braggin."
So with that taken care of I have a two bag Cheeto orange penis and I need help.
Bill my Obamacare.

If Obama can provide me insurance to grow my 4 incher, then I will vote him in a 3rd term.

 

[IhateClowns]

A tomato period?? Lol

http://i3.cpcache.com/product_zoom/1354388318/youve_got_some_splainin_to_do_sticker.jpg?height=250&width=250&padToSquare=true

Who likes a stewed period?

 

[IhateClowns]

Anyone who has paid the slightest bit of attention knows that I've been been running around humping IHC's proverbial leg for a looooooong time. In vain. *sigh*

I haven't noticed. I'm clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. You could throw your pussy at me like a frisbee and I would simply catch it and toss it back to you.

 

[Suz_anne]

I haven't noticed. I'm clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. You could throw your pussy at me like a frisbee and I would simply catch it and toss it back to you.

Dear Clowns,

My vagina is rather like Mrs. Potato Head's lips. Is that what the kids would call hella sexy?

Fondly,
Pink, Plump and Plastic

 

[DarkSimian]

Dear Clowns,

My vagina is rather like Mrs. Potato Head's lips. Is that what the kids would call hella sexy?

Fondly,
Pink, Plump and Plastic

Is there a hole in them, so I can put my pipe in?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

My vagina is rather like Mrs. Potato Head's lips. Is that what the kids would call hella sexy?

Fondly,
Pink, Plump and Plastic

Dear Plastic Pussy,

I am not fond of a meat pocket. Plastic or not. I like my pussies folded in as opposed to them imitating a horse naying. Might I suggest a rejuvenation?

Signed,

Pussies that can whistle are not for me.

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Plastic Pussy,

I am not fond of a meat pocket. Plastic or not. I like my pussies folded in as opposed to them imitating a horse naying. Might I suggest a rejuvenation?

Signed,

Pussies that can whistle are not for me.

*raspberries IHC's neck with my flappy, whistle-y vag*

 

[DarkSimian]

*raspberries IHC's neck with my flappy, whistle-y vag*

ewww! *and yes, I sprayed water over the keyboard on that*

 

[IhateClowns]

*raspberries IHC's neck with my flappy, whistle-y vag*

The only thing worse than a pussy fart is a pussy hickey. I think that's why I don't like pussies that look like a party favor. When I was in highschool my neck looked like a map to the whores. I am still scarred from having to wear turtlenecks in the summer.

 

[Suz_anne]

The only thing worse than a pussy fart is a pussy hickey. I think that's why I don't like pussies that look like a party favor. When I was in highschool my neck looked like a map to the whores. I am still scarred from having to wear turtlenecks in the summer.

Judgy wudgy was a bear...

 

[IhateClowns]

Judgy wudgy was a bear...

Mmmmmm fudge.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear Clown:

I am seriously thinking of rejuvenating my old Ask Azul thread, but don't want to be a cock blocker for you? What should I do?

Azul.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Dear Clowns

Every time I come to Lit I get so excited with all the sexy ladies around the threads... Like you, I know with my big sexual appetite I want them all ...

1) Who should I chose first?
2) What shall I first say in a pm?
3) When I should send a pm to the first one?
4) Where do I find the most sexiest women on Lit?
5) Why can't I have them all?
6)And How in the Lit's name did I end up here asking Clowns these questions?


Confused and Be-Wildered

 

[Trekka]

Judgy wudgy was a bear...

OMFG he would look totes adorbs in a bear suit.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clown:

I am seriously thinking of rejuvenating my old Ask Azul thread, but don't want to be a cock blocker for you? What should I do?

Azul.

Brother do as you want. You have way more of a following than I do. I am sure it will be just as good as the last one. This one dies unless I bump it. Yours will flourish my friend.