Dear Clowns

[Corbal]

Dear Homley Gspot,

Name the place and time. I'll bring the body armor. You bring the squirt guns.

Signed,

Willing and waiting to watch you squirt.

Dear Watching and Waiting,

Set your clock to never.

Signed,
A million years from today's date

 

[neakman]

Dear Clowns,

Is Corbal capable of squirting?

 

[37_ttej]

Dear Clowns,

Is Corbal capable of squirting?

Dear Clowns,

And should I be concerned for my 'dickhole'?

Clenching-just-in-case.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Watching and Waiting,

Set your clock to never.

Signed,
A million years from today's date

Dear So Sayeth the Shepherd,

Signed,

So Sayeth the Flock

(Unfortunately)

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Is Corbal capable of squirting?

Dear Handicapable,

Yes. Fire out of her baby cannon.

Signed,

Singed eyebrows

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

And should I be concerned for my 'dickhole'?

Clenching-just-in-case.

Dear Kegals,

Yes. When Corbs wants a dickhole, she will do anything in her power to get that dickhole. She invented the glory hole.

Signed,

Need a tiny glory hole in order to make my dickhole look bigger

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Clowns,

Where can I get a dickhole? They sound fun!

Respectfully,
Dickholeless in Detroit

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Where can I get a dickhole? They sound fun!

Respectfully,
Dickholeless in Detroit

Dear Dickless,

They're everywhere. We men will stick our dicks in just about any hole imaginable. Yawn and I'll show you.

Signed,

Dickhole stuffer

 

[37_ttej]

Dear Clowns,

I came back and find that some of my friends have up and left.

Do I smell funny?

And where have they gone?

Signed,

Concerned

 

[Corbal]

Dear Clowns,

I came back and find that some of my friends have up and left.

Do I smell funny?

And where have they gone?

Signed,

Concerned

Clowns smells like fermunda cheese and I'm still here.

Signed,
The Only One Who Matters

 

[37_ttej]

Clowns smells like fermunda cheese and I'm still here.

Signed,
The Only One Who Matters

EEEK!

I mean, um, thanks for the frighteningly quick response, Corbs.
Good thing I wasn't scared by you suddenly jumping out of Clowns' thread like that!

Say, you weren't just lurking here to scare poor little posters shitless were you?

Actually, now I do smell funny. I may have to go change my pants ...

 

[Corbal]

EEEK!

I mean, um, thanks for the frighteningly quick response, Corbs.
Good thing I wasn't scared by you suddenly jumping out of Clowns' thread like that!

Say, you weren't just lurking here to scare poor little posters shitless were you?

Actually, now I do smell funny. I may have to go change my pants ...

I cracked the fuck up. Lmfao!

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I came back and find that some of my friends have up and left.

Do I smell funny?

And where have they gone?

Signed,

Concerned

Clowns smells like fermunda cheese and I'm still here.

Signed,
The Only One Who Matters

EEEK!

I mean, um, thanks for the frighteningly quick response, Corbs.
Good thing I wasn't scared by you suddenly jumping out of Clowns' thread like that!

Say, you weren't just lurking here to scare poor little posters shitless were you?

Actually, now I do smell funny. I may have to go change my pants ...

I cracked the fuck up. Lmfao!

Dear you two,

You're so cute together. I'm jelly or is it peanut butter? Either way I think your blossoming romance is sweet.

Signed,

Jelly to the BFF max.

 

[37_ttej]

Dear Jelly,

After my 'pants incident', I don't think I'm ready to be the peanut butter.
Still cleaning up after yesterday's brown.
Sorry for the latent odor in your thread.

*sprays some air freshener around*

Mr Nutty

 

[37_ttej]

Dear Clowns,

I feel so disenchanted.
I thought I was making some progress with Corbal, she even laughed at one of my posts!
Now I think she was just leading me on.
No posts, no PMs, not even an incidental nut-kicking or an F-bomb!
What am I to do!?

Can you teach me how to be a real Player please.

Love-lorn

PS: I've washed my pants and had a bath too, so I smell real nice.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Dear Clowns,

I'm having inappropriate thoughts. I don't need help with them, I just wanted you to know.

Sincerely

Miss You

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Clowns,

Buy a hat and hold the fuck onto it - I've got a lot to get off my chest.

Work is ridiculously stupid busy, I'm dealing with a bathroom demo/remodel at home, it's fucking cold out, I miss that aussie geeky girl, you're not here enough, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are fighting, my friend's boob is sick and I'm worried, I've gained 4 pounds in the last month (!), I really want a puppy, Donald and Ted are fighting, my beloved Spartans got their pants pulled down and spanked in front of the entire country, all of the bachelorettes are really stupid this season, I can't seem to find any decent organic produce this time of year, I need an oil change, Snape died, Ziggy Stardust died, Celine Dion's husband died... the madness isn't stopping.

Should I masturbate with my right hand or my left hand?

Fondly,
Melancholy in Michigan

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Dear Melancholy,

I feel ya!
Here, let's boobie pound it.

Yours,
Aussie

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Melancholy,

I feel ya!
Here, let's boobie pound it.

Yours,
Aussie

Dear Tall Drink of Water,

I would climb any ladder in the world to rub boobies with you.

xo's,
Tiny Tim

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Clowns,

Today I ate a 1 pound bag of baby carrots at lunch. And 3 halo orange thingies. And now my stomach hurts.

Is orange bad for you?

Sincerely,
OJ

 

[cowslinger64]

Dear Clowns..

How long have you been hiding the salami in Suzanne?

She's got it baaaaaaaaaaad..


Kudos ya fuckin stud!

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear Clowns..

How long have you been hiding the salami in Suzanne?

She's got it baaaaaaaaaaad..


Kudos ya fuckin stud!

Anyone who has paid the slightest bit of attention knows that I've been been running around humping IHC's proverbial leg for a looooooong time. In vain. *sigh*

 

[DarkSimian]

Dear Clowns,

I missed out on Steak and a BJ Day.

Is there any way I can get a raincheck? Who do I see about that?

Signed,
Frustrated in West Texas

 

[Trekka]

Anyone who has paid the slightest bit of attention knows that I've been been running around humping IHC's proverbial leg for a looooooong time. In vain. *sigh*

{{hugs of leg-humping solidarity}}

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Today I ate a 1 pound bag of baby carrots at lunch. And 3 halo orange thingies. And now my stomach hurts.

Is orange bad for you?

Sincerely,
OJ

Dear,

Orange is the new IBS,

Yes. Too much orange is very bad for you. Have you experienced your uterine walls getting rind like lately? Be very careful. I hear an orange period peel is very painful.

On a positive note, your period juice is a great breakfast boost to get your day started.

Signed,

Orange you glad you asked