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Dear Clowns

37_ttej said:
Dear Clowns,

Why has this thread been silent for months?

The Cleaner
Click to expand...

Dear Cleaner,

There is no one left to help. I have fixed all the fine folks of the PG. What once was a board of misfits and wannabes, is now home to high class, well mannered, sophisticated men and women who are here to simply sip fine wine and smoke Cuban cigars.

My job is done.
 
Dear Clowns,

I do not like fine wine or cuban cigars. Clearly I need help, so get back to work.

Signed,

Beer drinking princess
 
I don't smoke anything but do live in winery country...so yes, wine is part of some meals...but I don't need a fix...er...fixin....uh..repairs...thanks anyway!:cattail:
 
Dear Clowns,

Those itchy bumps showed up again on my lady biscuit. That home remedy you suggested didn't seem to help (fyi - lemon juice hurts!).

Any other suggestions?

Sincerely,
Itchy and Scratchy
 
IhateClowns said:
Dear Cleaner,

There is no one left to help. I have fixed all the fine folks of the PG. What once was a board of misfits and wannabes, is now home to high class, well mannered, sophisticated men and women who are here to simply sip fine wine and smoke Cuban cigars.

My job is done.
Click to expand...

But some of us still need help... although I do enjoy a good Cuban from time to time (eat your heart out Monica!!)
 
IhateClowns said:
Dear Cleaner,

There is no one left to help. I have fixed all the fine folks of the PG. What once was a board of misfits and wannabes, is now home to high class, well mannered, sophisticated men and women who are here to simply sip fine wine and smoke Cuban cigars.

My job is done.
Click to expand...

Of course! Silly me.

By the way, I apologize in advance for any PMs you get from Agnes. I last heard her muttering something about how she'd love you to put your big fat cigar in her mouth.
I don't want to know.
I really don't.
 
ViciousTease said:
Dear Clowns,

I do not like fine wine or cuban cigars. Clearly I need help, so get back to work.

Signed,

Beer drinking princess
Click to expand...

Dear Lush,

It really depends on the beers you drink. If you're a micro brew kind of gal or a Nattie Lite kind of girl makes a huge difference. I prefer a Nattie Lite type of girl because she doesn't give a shit and reminds me of college. Micro brew chicks have their their teeth whitened and laser their upper lips. Give me a woman who can drink a beer out of a can any day.
 
sybarite_1 said:
I don't smoke anything but do live in winery country...so yes, wine is part of some meals...but I don't need a fix...er...fixin....uh..repairs...thanks anyway!:cattail:
Click to expand...

Glad I couldn't help in any way possible. Some women are just perfect and don't need fixing.
 
Suz_anne said:
Dear Clowns,

Those itchy bumps showed up again on my lady biscuit. That home remedy you suggested didn't seem to help (fyi - lemon juice hurts!).

Any other suggestions?

Sincerely,
Itchy and Scratchy
Click to expand...

Dear Rashy Ashy,

Change your razor blade. You don't have herpes. You simply need to change out that rusty cartridge you've been shaving with since 2008. I know it takes a bank loan to buy new razors. Save the Valtrex though. The man whores here on Lit are spreading their tainted seed faster than Michael J Fox shakes.
 
37_ttej said:
Of course! Silly me.

By the way, I apologize in advance for any PMs you get from Agnes. I last heard her muttering something about how she'd love you to put your big fat cigar in her mouth.
I don't want to know.
I really don't.
Click to expand...

Agnes is a whore in every sense of the word.

I mean that with the utmost respect.
 
Dear Clowns,

Buddy. Pick your head up.

I want a friendly face to punch.

Signed,
Your Homie-Gmoney
 
Dear Clowns,

Once Corbs has had her wicked way with you, will you have enough energy left to answer a question?

Signed,

Wondering
 
Corbal said:
Dear Clowns,

Buddy. Pick your head up.

I want a friendly face to punch.

Signed,
Your Homie-Gmoney
Click to expand...

Dear G,

I'm ok. I'm still a bit pissed and confused by it all. Never been written up in my professional career and that being the reason is a bit ridiculous. Thanks for listening.

Signed,

30 Days probation cannot end quickly enough.
 
37_ttej said:
Dear Clowns,

Once Corbs has had her wicked way with you, will you have enough energy left to answer a question?

Signed,

Wondering
Click to expand...

Dear questioning,

Corbs is a teddy bear under all the bullshit. Don't tell her I said that please. She will kick my ass.

Signed,

I'll survive. I hope.
 
IhateClowns said:
Dear questioning,

Corbs is a teddy bear under all the bullshit. Don't tell her I said that please. She will kick my ass.

Signed,

I'll survive. I hope.
Click to expand...

Dear Clowns,

Sounds like you're doing it tough.
Chin up though. As Agnes says, "You can't keep a good man down."

Upon reflection what she may have said was she can't keep a good clam down ...

Oh, shit.

*sound of distant retching*

Sorry, man, gotta go.

Just remember, no matter how bad things are they can't possibly be as fowl as cleaning up the old baggage's regurgitated seafood.

Feeling better yet?

:D
 
37_ttej said:
Dear Clowns,

Sounds like you're doing it tough.
Chin up though. As Agnes says, "You can't keep a good man down."

Upon reflection what she may have said was she can't keep a good clam down ...

Oh, shit.

*sound of distant retching*

Sorry, man, gotta go.

Just remember, no matter how bad things are they can't possibly be as fowl as cleaning up the old baggage's regurgitated seafood.

Feeling better yet?

:D
Click to expand...

Dear worried,

I'm good thanks. Just work issues to work through.

As for sifting through a trough of seafood stool, I actually like my job more than that. After stating I would do any job other than the one I currently have, you have shown me that it might not be so bad after all.

Thank you.
 
Corbal said:
Dear Clowns,

Buddy. Pick your head up.

I want a friendly face to punch.

Signed,
Your Homie-Gmoney
Click to expand...

Dear Homley Gspot,

Name the place and time. I'll bring the body armor. You bring the squirt guns.

Signed,

Willing and waiting to watch you squirt.
 
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