Dear Clowns

The alcohol is purely optional. I could also say every day is like Valentines day around here yet I still better bring something home or else I would never hear the end of it.

Every weekend huh? You guys must never have uttered those famous words:

I DO

Hell, might as well have. Turns out, I'm scared of binding legal commitments. I'll stick with wild sex and a small apartment together. I'm not too high maintenance.


And honestly, he didn't like blowjobs. They were more for me than the were for him. He just didn't like them. Nothing I did wrong, he had had them in the past and never liked/wanted them. Its personally my FAVORITE thing to do.
 
Hell, might as well have. Turns out, I'm scared of binding legal commitments. I'll stick with wild sex and a small apartment together. I'm not too high maintenance.


And honestly, he didn't like blowjobs. They were more for me than the were for him. He just didn't like them. Nothing I did wrong, he had had them in the past and never liked/wanted them. Its personally my FAVORITE thing to do.

Hmmmmm I am unsure that a guy is capable of not liking mouth loving. Did he stare at the dog oddly or for long periods of time. Was peanut butter purchased in bulk?
 
Were you good at it then? Talking to women on here no matter how much a guy likes to lick kitty (not my term a lovely Litster who said real men say lick her kitty) if they can't do it right doesn't feel good.

Let's put it this way, I've never had a single complaint. Only rave reviews. And like I said, he said it was good, he just didn't like it.
 
The whole race huh? Shifty paint sniffers.

I know there's an Austin Powers quote in here somewhere. Snap...

'There's 2 things I can't stand in this world, people who can't stand other peoples cultures and the Dutch'

Or something like that, I could have gotten that wrong.
 
I know there's an Austin Powers quote in here somewhere. Snap...

'There's 2 things I can't stand in this world, people who can't stand other peoples cultures and the Dutch'

Or something like that, I could have gotten that wrong.

I have NO clue what you are speaking of but I think you may have pisssed off the Dutch just a bit....
 
It's my thread. If anyone is offended they can pm me. I say offensive things on here all the time. You did nothing wrong so you are fine.

Well then since I have you...

So, I work in a bakery/catering kitchen. Its ran completely by women (women belong in a kitchen, duh :p) not just women, extremely conservative women. I'm not allowed to talk about men, sex, drinking, drugs, or parties. I'm not allowed to cuss, or even say words like 'dangit' or 'crap'. The other day, I wore yoga pants to work, I asked my boss, before the day started if these were acceptable, she said they were fine. As the day went on and I delivered baked goods to various businesses, I got a lot of...compliments from males. They apparently said something to my boss and she then banned pants or clothes that show my 'figure' she said they were too form-fitting and has also banned our v-neck shirts from work. I have a figure. Hips and nips is my life motto. My question is twofold, A) is this workplace TOO conservative for me and B) should I say the word 'fuck' randomly to see if my boss catches on fire/tries to have me excorcised?

Signed,
Confined in the Kitchen
 
Got the question asked why I think I am so special around here

Answer is because I don't. I just don't give a fuck what people say or think of me. Does that make me special? Not in my mind. It just makes me realize there is a hell of a lot more outside of this place so when I post I don't care who reads it or responds to it. Well that is besides Corbal. She is just a righteous self centered...I mean....well anyway you catch my drift.

I resemble that comment, Clowns. :cool:
 
Dear Clowns,

I'm usually the decider. People come to me and tell me all their ideas and I get to pick the one I like. Well, that's how it used to be. Then they said I had to move out of the big house, and now I don't even have any brush to cut. It's humiliating. I was thinking of changing my name, and getting some surgery, and coming back for a third term. But, ya know, they're all just shoutin at each other now, and that just seems so damn childish. Anyway, I don't even know what I wanted to ask ya, but you seem like a sweet guy, except for that clown hatin thing, and I thought you might have some ideas for me, for my comeback. I wanna be THE comeback kid. Waddaya say?

Humble in Houston
 
Good morning, Sweetie! :rose:

Hey there!!! I saw what you posted about me in the say something nice thread. Thank you That was one of the nicest if not the nicest post about me I have read on here. It meant alot and made me smile for the rest of the day.

I hope things are going well for you C. It is good to see your happy post and AV around these parts again
 
Dear Clowns,

I'm usually the decider. People come to me and tell me all their ideas and I get to pick the one I like. Well, that's how it used to be. Then they said I had to move out of the big house, and now I don't even have any brush to cut. It's humiliating. I was thinking of changing my name, and getting some surgery, and coming back for a third term. But, ya know, they're all just shoutin at each other now, and that just seems so damn childish. Anyway, I don't even know what I wanted to ask ya, but you seem like a sweet guy, except for that clown hatin thing, and I thought you might have some ideas for me, for my comeback. I wanna be THE comeback kid. Waddaya say?

Humble in Houston

If it can work for Nicholas Cage and John Travolta then why not for you? I think you should come back as that woman who got her face eaten off my her pet chimp. Just because she wanted to apologize for not cooking his steak and lobster the way he likes, doesn't mean she can just give him a kiss on the cheek as an apology. I think he proved that. Just think of all the sympathy votes you can get.

You also might want to get one of those voice boxes surgically implanted in your throat. That way it gives your speeches some pizzaz. It will also guarantee you get the votes of the 18-24 demo because they all eat fast food and your voice will draw them to the booths like a drive through attendant.

Good luck
 
Dear Clowns,


Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?


Sincerely,

Bop shoo bop girl
 
Dear Clowns,


Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?


Sincerely,

Bop shoo bop girl

Dear Sandy Dee,

Greasers did. Just as Danny or Kinicki. I think it is amazing how those students were able to just breakout in song while attending to their highschool student responsibilities. Not quite sure how they knew all the words and dances while they were spontaneously breaking into the song and dance routines but it was amazing. My highschool was nothing like Rydell High.

So tell me about it, Stud
 
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