Dear Clowns

Dear Clowns,

What should I do now?

-undecided

Turns out I am not psychic after all. It was a short in the microwave that cause the plate in my head to cause me to see things. This is a Dear Abby type thread. So what kind of problem or wuestion can I help you resolve my dear?
 
Turns out I am not psychic after all. It was a short in the microwave that cause the plate in my head to cause me to see things. This is a Dear Abby type thread. So what kind of problem or wuestion can I help you resolve my dear?

I'm bored.
 
Dear clowns,

Congratulations on reaching 1000 posts. What should we do to celebrate?

I decided to rest my fingers for a little while. Too much chicken pecking trying to solve everyone's problems. By everyone I mean the 4 people including me and you who post on this thread ;)
 
Dear Clown,

I was peacefully drinking my orange juice and that is where my heart stopped. I read the ingredients are it said :

- Fruit juice from concentrate
- Water
- Orange - okay, granted, so far so good but wait here is the scary part :
- Apple and/or grape and/or pear and/or lemon juices.

What is that supposed to mean? I am puzzled. Help me, Clown.
 
Dear Clowns,

Congrats on the first one thousand.

I woke myself up this early AM because I was in a gaseous state. Did I do the right thing or should I have just done the old "Dutch Oven" and stayed in bed?

Thanks,
Sitting in own pew.
 
Dear Clowns,

I also would like to congratulate you on 1000 posts. I have noticed that there are posters here that break the rules in forum games by skipping people above them. Should these people be publicly ridiculed? It shouldn't be too hard to do.

All the best.

Rick
 
dear oh wisest clown hater,
many congrats on 1000 posts :nana: i imagine my invitation to the big party should be arriving any day now.

my quandary is this.....i'm finding it hard to get motivated to get the things done that i need to. any suggestions on how i can motivate myself?
signed,
too lazy to come up with something witty
 
Dear Clown,

I was peacefully drinking my orange juice and that is where my heart stopped. I read the ingredients are it said :

- Fruit juice from concentrate
- Water
- Orange - okay, granted, so far so good but wait here is the scary part :
- Apple and/or grape and/or pear and/or lemon juices.

What is that supposed to mean? I am puzzled. Help me, Clown.

Dear confuzzled,

Have you read the ingredients in a hot dog? Esentially orange juice is the liquid equivalent of a hot dog.

Never ever ever read the ingredients on the food you eat or drink or you will turn into a vegetarian...No offense wings ;)
 
Dear Clowns,

Congrats on the first one thousand.

I woke myself up this early AM because I was in a gaseous state. Did I do the right thing or should I have just done the old "Dutch Oven" and stayed in bed?

Thanks,
Sitting in own pew.

Dear gassy,

Do you sleep with the covers over your head? If not then go ahead and dutch oven your lower half. The only time I would siggest not is if you have one of those yapper dogs that your wife insists sleeps with you. That little fucker will toss turn and climb all over you causing you to lose sleep while your wife sleeps soundly on the other side of the bed.

I say gas the fucker. You know it is a good one when a dog who notoriously licks its own taint has to come out for a breather. Then maybe it will think differently the next time it decides to nudge your sack with its cold nose at 3am.
 
Dear Clowns,

I also would like to congratulate you on 1000 posts. I have noticed that there are posters here that break the rules in forum games by skipping people above them. Should these people be publicly ridiculed? It shouldn't be too hard to do.

All the best.

Rick

Dear wanting to out people,

I think it i tacky but until lit corrects the ridiculous lit lag time, people are gonna be skipped. There is nothing more frustrating then finally getting to score the hot chicks avatar when lit decides to take a siesta and you sit there with your yeah I would fuck her heiny 10++++ rating and by the time it goes through your post was 18 ago on a different page.

Plus there are posters I skip daily because they smell of vinegar.
 
dear oh wisest clown hater,
many congrats on 1000 posts :nana: i imagine my invitation to the big party should be arriving any day now.

my quandary is this.....i'm finding it hard to get motivated to get the things done that i need to. any suggestions on how i can motivate myself?
signed,
too lazy to come up with something witty

Dear you make me smile,

Might I suggest a larger supply of D batteries. At least then you cangive your wrist and forearm a workout.

Signed,

My left forearm is muh bigger then my right one
 
Dear Sir,

It was an absolute pleasure making your acquaintance this evening. Wishing you all the best and many more posts in the future.

The Puritanical Prude
 
Dear Sir,

It was an absolute pleasure making your acquaintance this evening. Wishing you all the best and many more posts in the future.

The Puritanical Prude

Dear PP,

HAHAHAHA See what I did there? I took Puritanical Prude which both start with the letter P and put them together to make two P's together hence PP. When you say them together they say PP as in PeePee. You know kind of like a penis. Well not kinda if someone calls me a PeePee I immediately think they are calling me a dick and I start to cry, but that is a totally different subject in hand.

HAHAHAHA I said PP
 
Dear clowns,

It's been almost a month since you posted here. Where will we get our answers if you're not here?

Signed

Missing your Smile
 
I hate Clowns

When I saw your name I thought the thread was going to be about people who hate clowns. I'm one of them, they frighten me, present company excluded of course.

Maybe he/she got syndicated since he/she can speak so well on a plethora of topics and he/she no longer has time to visit LIT. What other possible reason could he/she have for not being here? HMMM, maybe you all have another reason since you all have been conversing with him/her.
 
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