Dear Clowns

[IloveClowns]

Sorry to hear about your eating disorder and your apparent ADD. I, too, like shiny objects and dislike brain fuckage. Thanks for taking the time to address my confusion. BTW, please be jealous...I have a tree decked out in shiny things.

Dear sorry for me,

What are you talking about? 2+2=4 5+5+10 ADD. You are too cute. I can add with the best of them. When i buy new shoes I already know the total before they hit the tax button.

You have a tree deck? Is that like a tree fort? I always wanted a tree fort growing up, but we were too busy living in our palacial estate. 48 bedrooms is just too many I think. Plus the maids everywhere. Plus they would knock on my doors screaming house keeping all the time. Drove me nuts. I always hated those little bars of soap and shampoo they would leave us.

But back to the tree deck so how many...ooooo a butterfly

 

[Farrah]

Dear sorry for me,

What are you talking about? 2+2=4 5+5+10 ADD. You are too cute. I can add with the best of them. When i buy new shoes I already know the total before they hit the tax button.

You have a tree deck? Is that like a tree fort? I always wanted a tree fort growing up, but we were too busy living in our palacial estate. 48 bedrooms is just too many I think. Plus the maids everywhere. Plus they would knock on my doors screaming house keeping all the time. Drove me nuts. I always hated those little bars of soap and shampoo they would leave us.

But back to the tree deck so how many...ooooo a butterfly

Thanks for the laugh; I really needed it. If I knew your address, I would send you a shiny butterfly.

 

[IhateClowns]

Thanks for the laugh; I really needed it. If I knew your address, I would send you a shiny butterfly.

Don't listen to the slut..she is a liar and probably some dude still living at home with his parents.

I will take whatever gifts you want to send "its" way

 

[Farrah]

Don't listen to the slut..she is a liar and probably some dude still living at home with his parents.

I will take whatever gifts you want to send "its" way

Sweet baby jesus. I am now very confused. It happens to me from time to time. Are you her? Or him? Or whoever it is that I offered to send a shiny butterfly to?

 

[Golden_Silence]

Dear on golden pond,

You have $10 to wage against the world huh? If I were you I wouldn't bet on the bowl game you speak of. Instead I would invest in some of those penny stocks that are on the radio over here all the time.

Imagine putting your money into a stock that is currently .02 cents then that stock goes up a penny. Wow you are now talking big bucks. Imagine not eating top ramen anymore. Imagine yachts and fish eggs on Melba toast. Drinking the finest boxed wines you can imagine.

Fuck the bowl game. Everyone knows the packers are gonna win. Invest that $10 heavily and wave down at me as your jet flies over OKC sometime.

Dude - you're a feckin genius.... Just by applying your $10 to my £10, I'm up already $15

Currency exchange - thats where the money is - I'll go to them free seminars and be a forex trader for 10 minutes a day and play golf for the rest of it

You really know how to inspire a guy

 

[IhateClowns]

Sweet baby jesus. I am now very confused. It happens to me from time to time. Are you her? Or him? Or whoever it is that I offered to send a shiny butterfly to?

Am I ILoveClowns????? Hell no. Shim is some person who follows me around from time to time. Shim doesn't deserve gifts. So I will take them for shim

 

[Farrah]

Am I ILoveClowns????? Hell no. Shim is some person who follows me around from time to time. Shim doesn't deserve gifts. So I will take them for shim

I was addressing my question to you, 'cause I like your face. I feel cheated. And moronic. Will you answer my original question now, or do I have to get back in line?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dude - you're a feckin genius.... Just by applying your $10 to my £10, I'm up already $15

Currency exchange - thats where the money is - I'll go to them free seminars and be a forex trader for 10 minutes a day and play golf for the rest of it

You really know how to inspire a guy

Amazing isn't it? If you can somehow manage to put the currency exchange system into a 10,000 page TV info-mercial that folks can buy for $39.99 plus $200 shipping and handling you won't even have to go to the seminars.

 

[GracefullyYours]

*Reads thread with a bowl of popcorn*

 

[IhateClowns]

I was addressing my question to you, 'cause I like your face. I feel cheated. And moronic. Will you answer my original question now, or do I have to get back in line?

Yes..ILC is both an ALT and a troll.don't let it fool you. It is a virus. i tried to blok it but it didn't let me. It sends me cock pics all the time. If it is a female why does it continue sending me cock pics?????

An Alt is the alternative version of another posters ID. A troll is someone like myself who just gos around and annoys folks for no reason. Both types need hugs. Will you hug me?

 

[Golden_Silence]

Amazing isn't it? If you can somehow manage to put the currency exchange system into a 10,000 page TV info-mercial that folks can buy for $39.99 plus $200 shipping and handling you won't even have to go to the seminars.

Better yet, charge $200 shipping and handling and caressing and encouraging while smiling and laughing and shafting your customer before hitting the send button *nods*

Save on that fedex bill - I think its called responsible business when you recycle the cash and don't pollute the environment at the same time - yes?

 

[Farrah]

Yes..ILC is both an ALT and a troll.don't let it fool you. It is a virus. i tried to blok it but it didn't let me. It sends me cock pics all the time. If it is a female why does it continue sending me cock pics?????

An Alt is the alternative version of another posters ID. A troll is someone like myself who just gos around and annoys folks for no reason. Both types need hugs. Will you hug me?

Yes, but only because of the liking your face thing.

 

[Golden_Silence]

*Reads thread with a bowl of popcorn*

There is a need for some self service here - by that I mean, you have to play 'quid pro quo' with the man here and ask a rhetorical question and he'll help you with the knowledge Einstein would kill for if he wasn't already dead

 

[GracefullyYours]

There is a need for some self service here - by that I mean, you have to play 'quid pro quo' with the man here and ask a rhetorical question and he'll help you with the knowledge Einstein would kill for if he wasn't already dead

Being mostly literate, I read the overview thingie where he said he was a "man's" version of Dear Abby. Since I lack the requisite balls and cock....I figured I would just have to watch. However....I can chime in if he gives me the go-ahead.

 

[IhateClowns]

Better yet, charge $200 shipping and handling and caressing and encouraging while smiling and laughing and shafting your customer before hitting the send button *nods*

Save on that fedex bill - I think its called responsible business when you recycle the cash and don't pollute the environment at the same time - yes?

You need to start your own advice thread because I am learning from you. That is brilliant. To get started I need your SSN, blood type, your Mom's Maiden name, how you lost your virginity, and why do you own so much peanut butter?

 

[IhateClowns]

Yes, but only because of the liking your face thing.

Oh ok..I am glad you like my face. I still want a hug

 

[IhateClowns]

Being mostly literate, I read the overview thingie where he said he was a "man's" version of Dear Abby. Since I lack the requisite balls and cock....I figured I would just have to watch. However....I can chime in if he gives me the go-ahead.

As much as i love a woman asking for my permission to do anything, my vast knowledge in useless information is to benefit those with penises and with those that have vaginas. Now drink the damn kool-aid. No. You first

 

[Golden_Silence]

You need to start your own advice thread because I am learning from you. That is brilliant. To get started I need your SSN, blood type, your Mom's Maiden name, how you lost your virginity, and why do you own so much peanut butter?

Fucked at the first hurdle dude - I'm a Brit - no SSN - but I did give my details to some nice guy from Africa earlier on today - he's sending me a few hundred thousand nigerian cyber dollars I do believe - oddly enough, he asked similar questions, why was knowing what I did with that sheep so important to you guys???

 

[GracefullyYours]

Dear Clowns,

...the batteries in my vibrator are dead....I don't know how to function.....

What do I do?

 

[IhateClowns]

Fucked at the first hurdle dude - I'm a Brit - no SSN - but I did give my details to some nice guy from Africa earlier on today - he's sending me a few hundred thousand nigerian cyber dollars I do believe - oddly enough, he asked similar questions, why was knowing what I did with that sheep so important to you guys???

FUCK!!!!

You didn't fall for that shit did you? What did he say? HAs $200k that needs your help getting? Damn it. Where is Dateline NBC when you need it? There needs to be an undercover story on this cyber crime.

I always thought that the cyber crimes were penises pretending to be vagainas, but I am off. I hope that you get that money because that will go a long way in your currency exchange business.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

...the batteries in my vibrator are dead....I don't know how to function.....

What do I do?

Dear don't dry out

First off get a membership to Sam's or Costco..that way you can buy batteries and lube by the bulk.

Second there has to be alternatives. I don't want you chipping a tooth or develope epilepsy from all the vibrations corsing through your body. What about a toilet paper tube? If you have a cavernous pussy you can use a paper towel tube.

Do you realise how ifficult it is for men to compete with a vibrator? How about just using your fingers and a great imagination? That way when you have a penis inside you you won't have to hit us with a taser to feel anything.

Going back to the question buy in bulk. BULK BULK

 

[GracefullyYours]

Dear don't dry out

First off get a membership to Sam's or Costco..that way you can buy batteries and lube by the bulk.

Second there has to be alternatives. I don't want you chipping a tooth or develope epilepsy from all the vibrations corsing through your body. What about a toilet paper tube? If you have a cavernous pussy you can use a paper towel tube.

Do you realise how ifficult it is for men to compete with a vibrator? How about just using your fingers and a great imagination? That way when you have a penis inside you you won't have to hit us with a taser to feel anything.

Going back to the question buy in bulk. BULK BULK

I have lube - I like the homemade kind. By homemade, I mean me. There are some serious issues though...I went to the store and they were out - OUT - of my batteries. The man behind the counter kinda grinned....I think he's onto me and hid them when he saw me coming. I'm a weekly customer, you see.

A finger is plenty, but then how can I rub my nipples when I cum? I need more hands. Or I need to borrow someone else's. Or someone's dick would do too, I guess.

A taser sounds way too harsh. I like to start with a cattle prod and go from there.

 

[cliteatingman]

I have lube - I like the homemade kind. By homemade, I mean me. There are some serious issues though...I went to the store and they were out - OUT - of my batteries. The man behind the counter kinda grinned....I think he's onto me and hid them when he saw me coming. I'm a weekly customer, you see.

A finger is plenty, but then how can I rub my nipples when I cum? I need more hands. Or I need to borrow someone else's. Or someone's dick would do too, I guess.

A taser sounds way too harsh. I like to start with a cattle prod and go from there.

I'll volunteer my dick and/or tongue!

 

[RAddams]

I'll volunteer my dick and/or tongue!

Maybe she would like two at once?

 

[IhateClowns]

I have lube - I like the homemade kind. By homemade, I mean me. There are some serious issues though...I went to the store and they were out - OUT - of my batteries. The man behind the counter kinda grinned....I think he's onto me and hid them when he saw me coming. I'm a weekly customer, you see.

A finger is plenty, but then how can I rub my nipples when I cum? I need more hands. Or I need to borrow someone else's. Or someone's dick would do too, I guess.

A taser sounds way too harsh. I like to start with a cattle prod and go from there.

Look above

Sounds like you have all the help you need. Once again I have helped another Litster with their needs. Please send check payable to IHCLLC