cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2015
- Posts
- 29,710
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Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.It takes quite a bit for me to move from needing comfort to even being able to have sex.
There are also times when it needs more than one night. Like today.
I do think that the act of cuddling/comforting a partner during a time of need can deepen the emotional bond between them, and may result in greater intimacy when sexual activities are back on the table.Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.
A good D knows how to pay attention to you and take care of you... comforting and soothing as long as is necessary to get you to a state of equilibrium, safety and peace. That might take hours. That might take days. Sometimes longer. For many people, physical intimacy is off the table until that sense of safety is re-established.
I know that sexual arousal is complicated and it would not be too surprising to have a male partner who is providing deep intimate comfort become at least somewhat aroused in the closeness of genuine comfort of their beloved. The line that divides the men from the boys are those that can differentiate the needs/reactions of their body vs what is appropriate and helpful to care for their little girl's mental and physical health. Sometimes the only loving thing to do is to defer sex/sexual intimacy.
Very well expressed, @cascadiabound. I couldn't agree more on how important this concept is.Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.
A good D knows how to pay attention to you and take care of you... comforting and soothing as long as is necessary to get you to a state of equilibrium, safety and peace. That might take hours. That might take days. Sometimes longer. For many people, physical intimacy is off the table until that sense of safety is re-established.
I know that sexual arousal is complicated and it would not be too surprising to have a male partner who is providing deep intimate comfort become at least somewhat aroused in the closeness of genuine comfort of their beloved. The line that divides the men from the boys are those that can differentiate the needs/reactions of their body vs what is appropriate and helpful to care for their little girl's mental and physical health. Sometimes the only loving thing to do is to defer sex/sexual intimacy.
Hundred timesI do think that the act of cuddling/comforting a partner during a time of need can deepen the emotional bond between them, and may result in greater intimacy when sexual activities are back on the table.
And physical health, too. Even when the issue is not clearly visible.situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship
Does comforting someone always have to involve sex? Can't they just comfort someone and be there for them?
It depends on the situation…comforting a friend after a bad day? No, sex isn’t needed.Does comforting someone always have to involve sex? Can't they just comfort someone and be there for them?
I think I found the story you were looking for - "No More Sir" by FairytaleBaby.It helped me figure out how I could be a little, in practise. Not many stories that I can say have contributed that way.
The one I was searching for was about a sub becoming a little - leaving former Dom to belong to a Daddy.
Yes, that sounds like it!I think I found the story you were looking for - "No More Sir" by FairytaleBaby.
Snickerdoodles, buckeyes, and oatmeal raisin, pleaseOkay okay, I know my role!!! Bringing in lots of fresh cookies, vanilla wafers, sugar cookies, banana bread cookies, lemon ricotta cookies, chocolate chip cookies. Stocking up the pantry.
I have never made buckeyes. I do have a copy cat recipe of the girl scout samosa'sSnickerdoodles, buckeyes, and oatmeal raisin, please
Bunny slips her head under the drapes where she’s been relaxing....Sneaks in quietly and says hi, miss you friends, hope everyone is well.
Nom nomOkay okay, I know my role!!! Bringing in lots of fresh cookies, vanilla wafers, sugar cookies, banana bread cookies, lemon ricotta cookies, chocolate chip cookies. Stocking up the pantry.
I need to change up my banana bread cookie recipe and try carrot cake cookiesNom nom
Hi, Tink! It's good to see you around. How are things?....Sneaks in quietly and says hi, miss you friends, hope everyone is well.
Hello, Help yourself to the cookies....Sneaks in quietly and says hi, miss you friends, hope everyone is well.
With cream cheese icing! They’re so good….I need to change up my banana bread cookie recipe and try carrot cake cookies