"Daddy," I Whispered: A Critique of the self-proclaimed "Lit's #1 Story"

[michchick98]

This one has SO got my vote. Can we add a line like "and you little dog too!" (insert cackle.wav)

Now we need to get this going on the other thread, too. Although no one's posted since last night, maybe we should wait til Jimmy/Janey pokes his/her head in again.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Now we need to get this going on the other thread, too. Although no one's posted since last night, maybe we should wait til Jimmy/Janey pokes his/her head in again.

Oh, okay I'll go along with the consensus. (Damn. I just bought a new pointy pompous ass poking stick too)


BTW, I think TxRad should get some of the credit for this idea, cuz he's been posting his warnings for quite a while.

 

[michchick98]

Oh, okay I'll go along with the consensus. (Damn. I just bought a new pointy pompous ass poking stick too)


BTW, I think TxRad should get some of the credit for this idea, cuz he's been posting his warnings for quite a while.

Well, yeah. I mean this thread wasn't originally intended to be another place Scouries could self-promote, but he's turning it into that and we need to stop it. TxRad gets credit for trying to stop it on the other thread. I think if we call keep posting these messages in both places, it'll at least give new people a heads up.

Although, the egotistical maniac that Scouries is, he'll just.....no, I won't say it. It's too horrible to think about.

 

[TxRad]

The management of Lit could care less about scouries or scouriesworld. He is only here because they believe in free speech, even for idiots.

Any and all lists made up by scouries and scouriesworld or Gabby the Blow up Doll have nothing to do with Lit or it's owners.


Ok Stella, we'll try it your way. Here are my original first and last posts for his threads.

 

[Guest]

Good Sunday morning LITEROTICANS! It’s your friend Gabby again.

I’d just like to take this post to announce a couple of things that the boss has decided and to make a few comments of my own.

First off, the boss, james r scouries, has decided not to post on this thread again. It is also his hope that no other member of the ScouriesWorld team will have to either in the future. This does not mean that the boss won’t read and respond to miss muffins review. He will in good time – just not here.

The question to be decided is whether we respond on the “scouries” thread or whether it’s time to start a scouries thread dedicated to the #1 LITEROTICA story.

For my part I’d just like to take this opportunity to apologize to miss slick tony. When I responded to her post I assumed she was a male. In fact I believed her to be an ALT of the person we once knew as oily (slickwillie).

Actually all of us here all relieved she’s a she. The thought of some male Texan running around examining Muslim cocks was disquieting to say the least.

So I’m sincerely sorry ma’am. Mind you that doesn’t invalidate my argument.

***

I also received the following from the boss asking me to post it on this thread: memo from jim scouries

Dear AHers,

This thread has been interesting to follow in the past few days. While I haven’t read the full review miss muffin posted (I will soon I promise) I appreciate the trouble and effort she put into it. It’s a delight to see any post where the poster has spent some time trying to craft something intelligent and witty. Even if it’s to make fun of me and my brilliant best seller!

The response it evoked surprised me though. Oh not the unintelligent ‘kick me when I’m down ones’ (those I expected) but certain others. I’ll mention three posters who surprised me. From people who don’t like me and who I don’t particularly like.

They were people however with whom I’d thought I’d reached a wary entente. miss stella, canada666 and miss witch.

I’ve never liked canada666, its not so much based on anything we’ve said to each other, its more just the fact that any time I come across one of his threads I cringe. He is one of only two people I’ve ever put on ignore (I have no one on ignore presently). But in the last 6 months or so he hasn’t bothered me and I haven’t bothered him. I assume he has me on ignore. So we don’t bother each other any more.

…and yet he chose to throw in his 5 cents worth here. I’m not sure why.

miss witch and I had (have) true animosity towards each other. She said things which will make it impossible for her to ever recover in my estimation. She is my least Favorite LITEROTICAN! By far! I believe the feeling is mutual. And yet, after our public spat so many months ago we’ve generally ignored each other. She’s worked to stop anyone posting on my thread but since that was always my original intention I had no problem with her. She doesn’t post on my thread and I don’t post where she is. Again, like 666, we seemed to have had accepted coexistence.

…and yet for some reason, after all this time, she decided to roil the pot. Why?

miss stella: By a huge margin I prefer stella to the two others. Much of the time her posts (from my limited exposure to them) make some sense and are a good cut above the “roses” or ten word posts of many of her peers. Unfortunately their are certain subjects where she becomes belligerent and strident and seems to lose her way (and no I'm not talking about the 'scouries' subject here).

She doesn’t like me, but showing a maturity rare on these boards, she decided to simply stop posting on the “Scouries” thread, put me on ignore and move on.

…or so I thought.

My greatest disappointment these three highlight by their posts on this thread is that no one, not even the seemingly most rational towards the “scouries” presence, those who’ve successfully ignored me for months, somehow can’t get over my existence on this forum.

[size=+2]Freddie [/size] has often argued on the thread that you have a very easy choice – just ignore me!

I’ve asked “PLEASE DO NOT POST REPLIES ON THIS THREAD”. To no avail…

Looking today I see there are some 31,000+ threads in AHland. Many of you start a new thread every day of your lives. I have one! 99 % of the posts I make are on my own threads. I don’t post on your threads and basically have no interest in doing so.

For the first year of my thread I didn’t reply in kind to your repeated personal insults. Then I decided “FUCK YOU”!

Similarly I’ve put up with this recent nonsense and now these new threats. Not much longer!

The choice is yours… scouries on his AH “scouries” thread (where I can be ignored quite easily) and very few other places or the scouries thread shut down and yours truly (and my lists, my numbers, my proposals, my ideas etc.) unleashed to what ever thread catches my fancy that day.

james scouries esq.

well said boss!

Gabrielle L.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

The choice is yours… scouries on his AH “scouries” thread (where I can be ignored quite easily) and very few other places or the scouries thread shut down and yours truly (and my lists, my numbers, my proposals, my ideas etc.) unleashed to what ever thread catches my fancy that day.

james scouries esq.

Bring it on, Monopoly Man!

 

[Daniellekitten]

Bring it on, Monopoly Man!

I agree Selena...let little Jimbo try to venture out. See what happens to him them. I think he'll be sent running with his little panties in a twist.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Bring it on, Monopoly Man!

I agree Selena...let little Jimbo try to venture out. See what happens to him them. I think he'll be sent running with his little panties in a twist.

Now Ladies, Don't Hate!
(a strong revulsion is enough)

 

[DeeZire]

Does anyone want to challenge the claim that Scouries excellent writing is changing the perception of LIT from stodgie to hip? His writing is the stodgiest I've ever seen, bringing to mind a high school creative writing assignment.

I was going to post a paragraph of his, and compare it to a paragraph from a similar (but hip) piece written from the same POV, and let the readers decide which one is the stodgiest, but since I've already written a satire on Scouries, I feel I've wasted enough time on the idiot.

But it still does boggle the mind that the dude actually thinks his writing is hip. His writing brings to mind Lawrence Welk reruns (which are actually quite charming in their ernest cluelessness.)

 

[sr71plt]

When you start talking about what "thousands of users of the site" believe or don't believe, you lose me, for one. A. You have no idea what even a majority of the readers of a site believe--about anything. And thus it is no more legitmate for you to invoke them than it is for Scouries to invoke Laurel. And B. You latch into and mobililize the mob mentality--which can be just as offputting as Scouries is.

When Scouries invokes the Web site owners, it should be enough to simply state that the Web site owners have never shown any indication of this endorsement.

And when Scouries invokes another poster, it should be enough for that poster to simply state that Scouries has lied (again).

Any poster who can't read the essense of Scouries within two posts needs more than a babysitter. Those deeply into fighting Scouries are doing so because they enjoy this activity--not because they are protecting some unsuspecting reader. The readers can take care of themselves (or not, as they choose).

The good news is that Scouries isn't the least bit subtle. A lot of real damage could be done if he were--and/or if at least his main alts weren't so easily identifiable.

 

[Daniellekitten]

When you start talking about what "thousands of users of the site" believe or don't believe, you lose me, for one. A. You have no idea what even a majority of the readers of a site believe--about anything. And thus it is no more legitmate for you to invoke them than it is for Scouries to invoke Laurel. And B. You latch into and mobililize the mob mentality--which can be just as offputting as Scouries is.

When Scouries invokes the Web site owners, it should be enough to simply state that the Web site owners have never shown any indication of this endorsement.

And when Scouries invokes another poster, it should be enough for that poster to simply state that Scouries has lied (again).

Any poster who can't read the essense of Scouries within two posts needs more than a babysitter. Those deeply into fighting Scouries are doing so because they enjoy this activity--not because they are protecting some unsuspecting reader. The readers can take care of themselves (or not, as they choose).

The good news is that Scouries isn't the least bit subtle. A lot of real damage could be done if he were--and/or if at least his main alts weren't so easily identifiable.

and deflatable.

 

[sr71plt]

Does anyone want to challenge the claim that Scouries excellent writing is changing the perception of LIT from stodgie to hip? His writing is the stodgiest I've ever seen, bringing to mind a high school creative writing assignment.

I was going to post a paragraph of his, and compare it to a paragraph from a similar (but hip) piece written from the same POV, and let the readers decide which one is the stodgiest, but since I've already written a satire on Scouries, I feel I've wasted enough time on the idiot.

But it still does boggle the mind that the dude actually thinks his writing is hip. His writing brings to mind Lawrence Welk reruns (which are actually quite charming in their ernest cluelessness.)

I've only read one Scouries story--as a review of all of the stories submitted to a Lit. competition--and I found it crude, awkward, in need of basic research (in keeping with a Slick Tony posting here somewhere), verbose, unfocused, trite, and sophomoric. And I wasn't looking for any of these things; I, quite frankly, was looking for something good I could say about it--as I did with the stories of some others here who like to run me down on the forum--just to prove that I separated forum talk from story assessment. (So I didn't mention it at all in the reviews I wrote.) I'm not sure what qualifies as "hip." If the above fits, then his writing is hip, I guess.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I've only read one Scouries story--as a review of all of the stories submitted to a Lit. competition--and I found it crude, awkward, in need of basic research (in keeping with a Slick Tony posting here somewhere), verbose, unfocused, trite, and sophomoric. And I wasn't looking for any of these things; I, quite frankly, was looking for something good I could say about it--as I did with the stories of some others here who like to run me down on the forum--just to prove that I separated forum talk from story assessment. (So I didn't mention it at all in the reviews I wrote.) I'm not sure what qualifies as "hip." If the above fits, then his writing is hip, I guess.

See, this is what I take exception with.

This is not a literary board. This is a site where people, many of which, are not professional writers, write their fantasies. For you to write that Scouries story or anyone's story was poorly written will reduce the number of stories submitted to Literotica.

Sure, you can say, well, that's good. Yet, I'd rather read a writer's poorly written story who has written their heart and soul and creativity than to read a professional's error free rendition.

If I want to read a pro, I'll go buy a book.

I view this place as a site for amateurs to learn the craft of writing and for you to be so smug in your off the cuff critique is wrong.

We are not all great writers. No doubt, we are all a bit perverted to be here reading and writing these stories.

Just because you write "great" stories, why ruin someone else's fun. Not all of us want to publish. Some of us just want to express how we feel without fear of being criticized.

 

[Elianna]

I've only read one Scouries story--as a review of all of the stories submitted to a Lit. competition--and I found it crude, awkward, in need of basic research (in keeping with a Slick Tony posting here somewhere), verbose, unfocused, trite, and sophomoric. And I wasn't looking for any of these things; I, quite frankly, was looking for something good I could say about it--as I did with the stories of some others here who like to run me down on the forum--just to prove that I separated forum talk from story assessment. (So I didn't mention it at all in the reviews I wrote.) I'm not sure what qualifies as "hip." If the above fits, then his writing is hip, I guess.

When I was a newbie to this place a few years ago, I read one of his stories. I wanted to know why it was so popular...

I didn't like it. But that goes for many of the stories on this site. I like believable characters. I like interesting plots. eek:Shocking, I know)

Back then I didn't understand that people inflated their own votes with multiple personas. I still can't figure out what they get out of it. I appreciate real feedback, comments and votes. (I've had a few people post the same thing with different alts and it pisses me off.) I don't care how well a story looks like it's doing. If it's not genuine, then I don't want it.

 

[sr71plt]

See, this is what I take exception with.

This is not a literary board. This is a site where people, many of which, are not professional writers, write their fantasies. For you to write that Scouries story or anyone's story was poorly written will reduce the number of stories submitted to Literotica.

Sure, you can say, well, that's good. Yet, I'd rather read a writer's poorly written story who has written their heart and soul and creativity than to read a professional's error free rendition.

If I want to read a pro, I'll go buy a book.

I view this place as a site for amateurs to learn the craft of writing and for you to be so smug in your off the cuff critique is wrong.

We are not all great writers. No doubt, we are all a bit perverted to be here reading and writing these stories.

Just because you write "great" stories, why ruin someone else's fun. Not all of us want to publish. Some of us just want to express how we feel without fear of being criticized.

Tough shit, Freddie. The story had been submitted for competition and I'd stated before the competition started that I was reviewing all of the stories and posting the reviews (Scouries even suggested on his thread that I do so--or I wouldn't have thought of doing so. so, ha, ha, on that). And I write book reviews professionally and was, I think, quite fair in my reviews--the only negatives I mentioned were about stories I lifted up as better than most of the rest I read.

And Scouries subsequently fished on his thread for why I had not included his entries (and Sarah's and yours, not incidentally) in the reviews.

Scouries constantly trumpets how great his stories are--in his own voice and in those of his alts. Just tough if he gets what he continues to beg for--assessments. Which, I assure you, in my case is competely objective based on the writing/story value.

Want to beg for such an assessment of your writing?

 

[Elianna]

See, this is what I take exception with.

This is not a literary board. This is a site where people, many of which, are not professional writers, write their fantasies. For you to write that Scouries story or anyone's story was poorly written will reduce the number of stories submitted to Literotica.

I absolutely disagree. I LOVE to get feedback, even when it's negative. If you're writing a fantasy then... make it REAL! WOW! Wouldn't that be cool. A flat fantasy is just that. Flat.

Sure, you can say, well, that's good. Yet, I'd rather read a writer's poorly written story who has written their heart and soul and creativity than to read a professional's error free rendition.

If I want to read a pro, I'll go buy a book.

I view this place as a site for amateurs to learn the craft of writing and for you to be so smug in your off the cuff critique is wrong.

If a writer is to learn, they must endure critique. When I first posted a story, I submitted it on the Story Feedback board. Back then the people there were MUCH more brutal. Yeah. It was tough, but it made me a better writer.

We are not all great writers. No doubt, we are all a bit perverted to be here reading and writing these stories.

Just because you write "great" stories, why ruin someone else's fun. Not all of us want to publish. Some of us just want to express how we feel without fear of being criticized.

In my opinion, then, don't post it. I have tones of stories on my harddrive that are not going to be posted. I read them. They make me happy. I don't post them for others, because that opens them up for scrutiny when it was never my intent to scrutinize them.

Honestly, I'd love to have someone like SR tear apart my work. I know that it would be concise, maybe a little brutal, but would help me grow a lot. Just from actually reading the critique of Scouries' story you can learn a lot about how to create better characters. It's all about the attitude you take.

Critique can hurt. Will you run from it, or learn from it?

 

[Daniellekitten]

Bravo Elianna. I agree, having SR take apart something of mine would scare the bejesus out of me but when he was done, well I would only hope I could take the critique as it was meant.

 

[DeeZire]

I'm not sure what qualifies as "hip." ...

I just read a couple of 'personal essays' (fiction) over at nerve dot com, and I was reminded of what hip writing is all about. Granted, these three pieces were the antitheses of the unrealistic fairy-tale sex scenes so prevelant in LIT fiction. One was a woman's experience with bad panties, another was about a less-than-perfect groupie experience, the third was about revealing to your partner that you both have an STD. While not comparable to the stroke material here, the writing was vibrant and funny, with unexpected metaphors and clever, concise structure and flow, and what little sex there was was rendered beautifully.

Of course, these writers are professionals, so I suppose it's not fair to compare them to someone like Scouries, but we, as (aspiring) writers need to reference great writing to keep from getting complacent and passing off our own mediocre work as acceptable. (I'm speaking for myself here.)

 

[SweetWitch]

See, this is what I take exception with.

This is not a literary board. This is a site where people, many of which, are not professional writers, write their fantasies. For you to write that Scouries story or anyone's story was poorly written will reduce the number of stories submitted to Literotica.

Sure, you can say, well, that's good. Yet, I'd rather read a writer's poorly written story who has written their heart and soul and creativity than to read a professional's error free rendition.

If I want to read a pro, I'll go buy a book.

I view this place as a site for amateurs to learn the craft of writing and for you to be so smug in your off the cuff critique is wrong.

We are not all great writers. No doubt, we are all a bit perverted to be here reading and writing these stories.

Just because you write "great" stories, why ruin someone else's fun. Not all of us want to publish. Some of us just want to express how we feel without fear of being criticized.

Freddie, you are correct. This is a place for amateurs to learn the craft of writing. But to learn properly, one must have teachers. Many here write only for the joy of writing, while others wish to join the ranks of those who have had their words and their names in print. Either way, any writer can improve, if he/she wants to.

I believe that I am a writer of some talent, but when I read my earlier stories, I'm embarrassed -- and I still have much to learn. I have been taught a lot by the people of the AH and the readers in general -- even your idol (though those lessons have nothing to do with writing -- they have more to do with learning how to ignore stupidity). To say that all the feedback the readers and AH regulars have given me through the years has always been positive would be a gross fabrication. Some of the comments made could be considered cruel, but I learned from them, and my writing improved.

This is a public forum, Freddie. If one posts here, one must be willing to accept the remarks of the readers. The critique given on this thread appeared to me to be frank, honest and well-thought out. It wasn't cruel. It was to the point.

The writer of the story in question decided for himself that it was the greatest story in the world. He is the one who issued the challenge. Now he must accept the consequences. If he's smart, he'll take the comments to heart and use them to better his craft. However, we've all seen how well he's able to do that. It's quite sad, really.

 

[sr71plt]

Freddie, you are correct. This is a place for amateurs to learn the craft of writing. But to learn properly, one must have teachers. Many here write only for the joy of writing, while others wish to join the ranks of those who have had their words and their names in print. Either way, any writer can improve, if he/she wants to.

I believe that I am a writer of some talent, but when I read my earlier stories, I'm embarrassed -- and I still have much to learn. I have been taught a lot by the people of the AH and the readers in general -- even your idol (though those lessons have nothing to do with writing -- they have more to do with learning how to ignore stupidity). To say that all the feedback the readers and AH regulars have given me through the years has always been positive would be a gross fabrication. Some of the comments made could be considered cruel, but I learned from them, and my writing improved.

This is a public forum, Freddie. If one posts here, one must be willing to accept the remarks of the readers. The critique given on this thread appeared to me to be frank, honest and well-thought out. It wasn't cruel. It was to the point.

The writer of the story in question decided for himself that it was the greatest story in the world. He is the one who issued the challenge. Now he must accept the consequences. If he's smart, he'll take the comments to heart and use them to better his craft. However, we've all seen how well he's able to do that. It's quite sad, really.

I wouldn't normally think it right to either compose or post an unrequested story critique like this on this forum--and anyone is joking who suggests the one starting this thread was posted to do anything but needle. Scouries, however, lost any regard from me in this vein some time ago, having himself posted such unrequested "reviews" of the works of others--just to demean. This on top of offering what he (and a couple of specific others) writes as a "glowing" model for other writers here (which, sadly to say, it most certainly is not).

 

[sr71plt]

I just read a couple of 'personal essays' (fiction) over at nerve dot com, and I was reminded of what hip writing is all about. Granted, these three pieces were the antitheses of the unrealistic fairy-tale sex scenes so prevelant in LIT fiction. One was a woman's experience with bad panties, another was about a less-than-perfect groupie experience, the third was about revealing to your partner that you both have an STD. While not comparable to the stroke material here, the writing was vibrant and funny, with unexpected metaphors and clever, concise structure and flow, and what little sex there was was rendered beautifully.

Of course, these writers are professionals, so I suppose it's not fair to compare them to someone like Scouries, but we, as (aspiring) writers need to reference great writing to keep from getting complacent and passing off our own mediocre work as acceptable. (I'm speaking for myself here.)

Ah, so. I think I probably only could take "hip" writing in small quantities, then. I could see where some of it would be very well written--and that it would require a particularly skilled writer, but it sounds pretty close to the edges of "too precious" and/or "thinking a bit too much of itself rather than of the reader."

 

[DeeZire]

Ah, so. I think I probably only could take "hip" writing in small quantities, then. I could see where some of it would be very well written--and that it would require a particularly skilled writer, but it sounds pretty close to the edges of "too precious" and/or "thinking a bit too much of itself rather than of the reader."

Check them out. I was drawn in as a reader, entertained as a compassionate human, and impressed as a fellow writer noticing technique. The sheer mastery of language is reason enough to read them, and the humanity - the way the characters reach out and actually make you care for them - this aspect was glaringly obvious, especially in the 'bad panties' piece. The 're-virgin' piece was probably better as a character study, and would be more appropriate for stroke writers looking to improve their descriptive techniques.

But I would agree that this vivid writing style is best enjoyed in small doses, like chocolates - you don't eat a whole box in one sitting.

 

[SweetWitch]

I wouldn't normally think it right to either compose or post an unrequested story critique like this on this forum--and anyone is joking who suggests the one starting this thread was posted to do anything but needle. Scouries, however, lost any regard from me in this vein some time ago, having himself posted such unquested "reviews" of the works of others--just to demean. This on top of offering what he (and a couple of specific others) writes as a "glowing" model for other writers here (which, sadly to say, it most certainly is not).

I disagree, dear Pilot. The critique was invited, if not the actual criticism. Though the story’s writer most assuredly adores all this attention, he also practically dared anyone to disagree with him.

Who was it that said no publicity is bad publicity? It would certainly seem that the writer undoubtedly subscribes to that thinking. If he didn’t, he would not be posting on this thread every time it seems to be losing momentum. The words he uses are carefully chosen to cause ire and draw a response.

All this puts the name of the story in question back at the top of the forum and draws more attention. It’s a pretty game he plays, and he plays it well. It’s working.

As far as losing any regard, I don’t believe that matters to him. He lives for, and thrives on the attention he receives. He must have it to survive. Every time someone lashes out at him or makes another joke at his expense, it adds fuel to his fire and gives him what he believes is justifiable cause to strike back – thus, the cycle repeats.

If not for the absolute disgust he creates, his stories would have fallen into oblivion long before now. That disgust is the only thing he has to offer the world. As I said before, it’s quite sad, really.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[sr71plt]

I disagree, dear Pilot. The critique was invited, if not the actual criticism. Though the story’s writer most assuredly adores all this attention, he also practically dared anyone to disagree with him.

Guess we'll have to disagree, then. Justification by example and "practical dare" are not the same things as a specific request for a critique thread. (The thread itself is on the wrong board, not incidentally.)

And get real about any suggestion it was posted to be constructive--to be and to evoke, in fact, anything other than what it did. There are a few noses getting a bit longer around here on that pretence. (But that can be fun too.)

 

[SweetWitch]

Guess we'll have to disagree, then. Justification by example and "practical dare" are not the same things as a specific request for a critique thread. (The thread itself is on the wrong board, not incidentally.)

And get real about any suggestion it was posted to be constructive--to be and to evoke, in fact, anything other than what it did. There are a few noses getting a bit longer around here on that pretence. (But that can be fun too.)

I never said the critique was intended to be constructive. I only alluded to the fact that he could learn something from it. I can't pretend to know the mindset of the critic involved, and neither can you. Though I'm fairly certain it was intended to upset and annoy, that's only conjecture.

Whether or not it was posted to the wrong broad not withstanding, of course.