Cuckold Appreciation

[policywank]

There is never complete secrecy in these relationships, even if wanted, and quite often their friends all know. Like you said, it can get problematic if employers/family find out.

I am currently writing a true story based upon a couple (close friends, so I know) where the 16 year old daughter (I am making her 18 for the story) finds them. I am not making it evil, because it didn't turn out that way (this was several years ago). After Mom explained what it was about, daughter thought it was hot. She asked her Dad a lot of questions, and teased him gently, but loved him. Angie (the wife), also my favorite bartender, told me the other night that now that she is of age, the daughter wants to watch Dad in a cuckold situation. She is going to let her. I personally think it is hot. sometimes true stories can be.

I suspect that daughter, with Mom's guidance, will end up finding a man like her father.

You are correct that complete secrecy is not realistic. Trying to maintain that would also create its own set of problems. It is better to anticipate how things will be communicated to those that become aware.

 

[CuttingEdge]

My wife and her sex do not and never have belonged to me. Even when we were monogamous I had no rights over her sex and certainly not the latitude to decide to share it with others. She had at that time committed not to share her sex with anyone else, but that in no way altered her ownership and absolute right to manage her sex as she sees fit. To the extent that a woman commits to be exclusive with her husband that commitment may be revoked at any time and her only obligation is to inform her husband in a timely manner.

I am not sure about this part, I guess because I hold marriage in such high regard.

While I do not feel I own any part of my wife, there was on our wedding day; a commitment made before God, friends and family to “forsake all others until death do I part”. That is the ultimate gift and why marriage is still so highly cherished in so many cultures, in so many parts of the world. To suddenly revoke that gift, would be like my wife giving me a gift card to Lowes, then two days later going in my wallet secretly, taking it, and giving it to another man without my knowledge. It’s not the monetary amount that would be distressing, it would be in taking back a gift that she gave to me. I know I do not own, or even can really control my wife, but I do have hope that she would cherish her vows. This is where it gets into a person’s character however.

What amount of discussion a couple has I guess is up for debate. In my case. I put my wife on the spot granted, but I did know her, and knew that she would be agreeable to giving my best friend a blowjob if I gave her permission to do so. In my defense, she could have said no, along with my best friend saying no. But it might be as simple as a husband leaving to go to the bathroom at a bar and when he comes back his wife tells him she was just invited back to another man’s house. “Go ahead Hun, tell me about it later”, would not be a lengthy discussion, but one nonetheless. Or it could be an hour of pillow talk following in afterglow after a romantic night of sex where wife-sharing is brought up. But at least it was discussed before the fact and not after. A lot of couples can get into trouble when they assume, whether it be the wife assuming her husband is okay with it, the husband assuming the wife will do it, or the bull in assuming the wife and husband both are okay with it.

But make no mistake about it, the greater the risk, the greater the reward too. To give your wife permission to free herself from the ultimate commitment, can be downright incredible…for all involved.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think the most dangerous mistake in all this, is the “Tit for Tat” philosophy of wife-sharing, and this can go both ways.

It can be a wife thinking negatively about wife-sharing in that she assumes her husband is asking for her to be a hot-wife so that he has permission granted himself to cheat. Because of that she says no. Or, it might be where a husband wants his wife to be shared so that he can have promiscuous sex himself. The latter is often times the real motivation, and not conveyed when the topic of wife-sharing is first brought up.

This can be very detrimental to a marriage.

What often happens is, the husband has a person in mind, and if that woman is not agreeable to having sex with him, then he feels rejected while having just shared his wife; an act he just agreed to, so he could have permission to violate his own marital vows. Or, it becomes a difference in genders. Since most men are driven to sex, the wife will have far more opportunities than the husband, and over time the number of encounters she has had, will be more than the husband’s experience, and jealousy will start to reign on his end.

I once heard about a married actress and actor where this happened. Both were refusing roles in movies and tv shows because they were getting proposed for sex, but because they were married, they refused. So, they decided if they had an open marriage their careers would be better. Soon though, the wife was having far more sexual encounters, and getting ahead in her career far further than her husband, and their marriage could not survive it.

I still think an open-marriage has tangible benefits, but only when a couple is truly honest about motivations and desires.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I am not sure about this part, I guess because I hold marriage in such high regard.

While I do not feel I own any part of my wife, there was on our wedding day; a commitment made before God, friends and family to “forsake all others until death do I part”. That is the ultimate gift and why marriage is still so highly cherished in so many cultures, in so many parts of the world. To suddenly revoke that gift, would be like my wife giving me a gift card to Lowes, then two days later going in my wallet secretly, taking it, and giving it to another man without my knowledge. It’s not the monetary amount that would be distressing, it would be in taking back a gift that she gave to me. I know I do not own, or even can really control my wife, but I do have hope that she would cherish her vows. This is where it gets into a person’s character however.

What amount of discussion a couple has I guess is up for debate. In my case. I put my wife on the spot granted, but I did know her, and knew that she would be agreeable to giving my best friend a blowjob if I gave her permission to do so. In my defense, she could have said no, along with my best friend saying no. But it might be as simple as a husband leaving to go to the bathroom at a bar and when he comes back his wife tells him she was just invited back to another man’s house. “Go ahead Hun, tell me about it later”, would not be a lengthy discussion, but one nonetheless. Or it could be an hour of pillow talk following in afterglow after a romantic night of sex where wife-sharing is brought up. But at least it was discussed before the fact and not after. A lot of couples can get into trouble when they assume, whether it be the wife assuming her husband is okay with it, the husband assuming the wife will do it, or the bull in assuming the wife and husband both are okay with it.

But make no mistake about it, the greater the risk, the greater the reward too. To give your wife permission to free herself from the ultimate commitment, can be downright incredible…for all involved.

I didn't mean to suggest that it is appropriate for a wife to just change the terms of marriage at the drop of a hat or without regard to commitments she made. What I mean to say is that:

1. Marriage does not involve either of us forfeiting full ownership of our body and our sex. It does involve making some very serious commitments and we are absolutely bound to honour those commitments. There is a subtle but important difference between a husband owning his wife's sex versus her owning her own sex and committing to share it only with him.
2. The marriage commitments are voluntary and may be revoked. Not on a whim or callously and absolutely with advance notice. I just don't believe in the "you are locked in forever no matter what" view of the world. If a wife goes to her husband and says I do not intend to be monogamous anymore, that is her choice to make. He doesn't have grounds to say you owe me monogamy for life. It is incumbent upon her to do this openly and before she acts on her intentions so that her husband knows where he stands.

Respectfully, I don't think that your Lowe's card analogy is apt because in that case she gave it to you - possession passed from her to you at which point she forfeited the right to take it back. Taking it back surreptitiously is both theft and deceit. The former being criminal and the latter being a direct violation of the marriage commitment that was still in place when the action was taken.

A more apt analogy would be if you and your neighbour went in on an expensive tool together and agreed to share the maintenance costs on the condition that neither of you could loan the tool to another person. For one of you to loan it to a 3rd party or fail to pay your share of the maintenance would be a violation of the agreement. But it is implicit that if at some point the arrangement isn't working for you anymore it would be realistic to seek to exit the arrangement including any appropriate compensation. And anything you collectively choose to do with the tool would typically be referred to as the two of you agreeing.....not one of you giving permission to the other, which implies a hierarchy of authority.

I don't see any issue with the way you opened the door to your wife giving your friend a blowjob. Everyone had the chance to decline if they liked. Again though as it relates to ownership the "I gave her permission" phrasing suggests ownership and authority that doesn't exist. You give permission to your children with whom you do have a relationship of authority. With your wife you agree on things and in a matter like this if you don't agree you don't go forward. I know it is just semantics, and the net effect of what you said and did is the same, but for people contemplating these things the idea that the husband gives his wife permission can lead to an unhelpful dynamic of the husband presuming to have undue authority over his wife.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I think the most dangerous mistake in all this, is the “Tit for Tat” philosophy of wife-sharing, and this can go both ways.

It can be a wife thinking negatively about wife-sharing in that she assumes her husband is asking for her to be a hot-wife so that he has permission granted himself to cheat. Because of that she says no. Or, it might be where a husband wants his wife to be shared so that he can have promiscuous sex himself. The latter is often times the real motivation, and not conveyed when the topic of wife-sharing is first brought up.

This can be very detrimental to a marriage.

What often happens is, the husband has a person in mind, and if that woman is not agreeable to having sex with him, then he feels rejected while having just shared his wife; an act he just agreed to, so he could have permission to violate his own marital vows. Or, it becomes a difference in genders. Since most men are driven to sex, the wife will have far more opportunities than the husband, and over time the number of encounters she has had, will be more than the husband’s experience, and jealousy will start to reign on his end.

I once heard about a married actress and actor where this happened. Both were refusing roles in movies and tv shows because they were getting proposed for sex, but because they were married, they refused. So, they decided if they had an open marriage their careers would be better. Soon though, the wife was having far more sexual encounters, and getting ahead in her career far further than her husband, and their marriage could not survive it.

I still think an open-marriage has tangible benefits, but only when a couple is truly honest about motivations and desires.

In this vein I think that if you are contemplating an open marriage you should think in terms of just one side being open. Not necessarily as an actual plan but as a thought experiment. If your willingness to accept your partner taking other lovers is contingent upon reciprocal rights it won't work. reciprocity will not eliminate your jealousy if you are so inclined. And there will be a rude awakening the first time you end up sitting at home alone while your partner is on a date and having sex with someone else.

 

[AuBonPain]

I’ve told two different gfs they could fuck any one they wanted to as long as they told me about it.

 

[policywank]

I didn't mean to suggest that it is appropriate for a wife to just change the terms of marriage at the drop of a hat or without regard to commitments she made. What I mean to say is that:

1. Marriage does not involve either of us forfeiting full ownership of our body and our sex. It does involve making some very serious commitments and we are absolutely bound to honour those commitments. There is a subtle but important difference between a husband owning his wife's sex versus her owning her own sex and committing to share it only with him.
2. The marriage commitments are voluntary and may be revoked. Not on a whim or callously and absolutely with advance notice. I just don't believe in the "you are locked in forever no matter what" view of the world. If a wife goes to her husband and says I do not intend to be monogamous anymore, that is her choice to make. He doesn't have grounds to say you owe me monogamy for life. It is incumbent upon her to do this openly and before she acts on her intentions so that her husband knows where he stands.

Respectfully, I don't think that your Lowe's card analogy is apt because in that case she gave it to you - possession passed from her to you at which point she forfeited the right to take it back. Taking it back surreptitiously is both theft and deceit. The former being criminal and the latter being a direct violation of the marriage commitment that was still in place when the action was taken.

A more apt analogy would be if you and your neighbour went in on an expensive tool together and agreed to share the maintenance costs on the condition that neither of you could loan the tool to another person. For one of you to loan it to a 3rd party or fail to pay your share of the maintenance would be a violation of the agreement. But it is implicit that if at some point the arrangement isn't working for you anymore it would be realistic to seek to exit the arrangement including any appropriate compensation. And anything you collectively choose to do with the tool would typically be referred to as the two of you agreeing.....not one of you giving permission to the other, which implies a hierarchy of authority.

I don't see any issue with the way you opened the door to your wife giving your friend a blowjob. Everyone had the chance to decline if they liked. Again though as it relates to ownership the "I gave her permission" phrasing suggests ownership and authority that doesn't exist. You give permission to your children with whom you do have a relationship of authority. With your wife you agree on things and in a matter like this if you don't agree you don't go forward. I know it is just semantics, and the net effect of what you said and did is the same, but for people contemplating these things the idea that the husband gives his wife permission can lead to an unhelpful dynamic of the husband presuming to have undue authority over his wife.

Every couple approaches it their own way. For me personal agency is very important. I can't imagine asking my husband "permission" to do anything. As you say it is perhaps just semantics, but that whole notion suggest the patriarchy in a way that doesn't sit well with me. We have had extensive discussion about the nature of our marriage and my sexual freedom. I would never unilaterally pursue a path that he opposes. The main parameters of our relationship are extensively discussed and agreed with flexibility and maturity. Then I make my own decisions within those parameters.

Likewise if either of us wanted to change those parameters we would not do so unilaterally. We would discuss it maturely and seek to find accommodation. But at all times we each maintain our personal agency and if we are far enough apart on key items we reserve the right to go our own way at which point the other party can accept it or leave. It has never come to that, because the love and affection we have for one another is more important, but that possibility does exist.

 

[policywank]

In this vein I think that if you are contemplating an open marriage you should think in terms of just one side being open. Not necessarily as an actual plan but as a thought experiment. If your willingness to accept your partner taking other lovers is contingent upon reciprocal rights it won't work. reciprocity will not eliminate your jealousy if you are so inclined. And there will be a rude awakening the first time you end up sitting at home alone while your partner is on a date and having sex with someone else.

If a partner is truly not jealous and is receptive to the notion of an open marriage, then the question of whether one or both sides is open should be entirely a product of individual preferences, desires and opportunities. It would be no more consequential than my husband joining a golf club, while I do not. It isn't a special right that I am being denied - I am just more interested in other things. IMO if your way of making an open marriage work is by trying to force equal outcomes then you are fighting against your own lack of acceptance and you will end up losing.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I don't see any issue with the way you opened the door to your wife giving your friend a blowjob. Everyone had the chance to decline if they liked. Again though as it relates to ownership the "I gave her permission" phrasing suggests ownership and authority that doesn't exist. You give permission to your children with whom you do have a relationship of authority. With your wife you agree on things and in a matter like this if you don't agree you don't go forward. I know it is just semantics, and the net effect of what you said and did is the same, but for people contemplating these things the idea that the husband gives his wife permission can lead to an unhelpful dynamic of the husband presuming to have undue authority over his wife.

You make some really valid points and have called me out and challenged me in a really well-said way; I do say, “The Greater the Risk, the Greater the Reward, and then reading between my words show some hesitation to fully surrender my wife over to ALL her sexual desires.

I am not sure I have had enough coffee in me yet to fully consider all the rewards of doing that, but it is an interesting concept of “what if”. No reservations, no stipulations… but yes a lonely feeling if she was to say, be at a rest area dogging the night away.

I will say, I have never considered that I own her sexuality. I have ALWAYS known, it is her choice on what she does, NO ONE… married or not, can change that. Some people find that out the hard way. For me, when I say, “I’ll let you”, could I really just be saying, “don’t let marital-guilt stand in the way of who you want to sleep with”?

 

[SlutAddicted]

You make some really valid points and have called me out and challenged me in a really well-said way; I do say, “The Greater the Risk, the Greater the Reward, and then reading between my words show some hesitation to fully surrender my wife over to ALL her sexual desires.

I am not sure I have had enough coffee in me yet to fully consider all the rewards of doing that, but it is an interesting concept of “what if”. No reservations, no stipulations… but yes a lonely feeling if she was to say, be at a rest area dogging the night away.

I will say, I have never considered that I own her sexuality. I have ALWAYS known, it is her choice on what she does, NO ONE… married or not, can change that. Some people find that out the hard way. For me, when I say, “I’ll let you”, could I really just be saying, “don’t let marital-guilt stand in the way of who you want to sleep with”?

Thank you for being so open. I didn't really mean to call you out. I could tell from the dialogue that when you used words like "give permission" or "Ill let you" you meant "I'm not opposed" or "I support your choice" or "don't let marital guilt stand in your way".

I picked up on the specific wording because it made me think of some of the struggles guys face in prioritizing their wife's pleasure when it comes to this topic. I didn't mean to pick on you or read too much into your choice of words!

It seems like a large proportion of the comments on this topic run along the lines of "I am ok with her having sex with other men as long as X." Then X is usually some condition that puts a constraint on the wife and/or promotes the husband's desires and/or conveys control over her actions to the husband.

While I do believe in seeking to optimize the Reward so to speak it makes sense that any couple must come to their own view as to just how far to push the envelope. But I do believe that should be a joint decision and subject to full communication, which doesn't work very well if the conversation begins with the husband laying down conditions. Again I know that isn't what you were necessarily saying or doing - you just gave me a jumping off point (sorry if I was presumptuous).

 

[CuttingEdge]

Please do not apologize as you and @policywank were never being presumptuous, but rather perceptive; picking up on subtle statements that I made over the last few days. It was revealing for me, and good to be challenged and called out by you in such well-said ways. Again, you made valid points and why I feel this has been an interesting and thought-provoking topic.

To that end, I think my wife and I would be richly rewarded if there were no stipulations, no rules, no form of control from my end of things. Anyone, anywhere, any time. It would seem the marriage commitment would be rewarded tenfold because any husband who would give her that much latitude in her vows, would be a man my wife would want to be married too.

So why my hesitation; or as it may be, hesitation from many husbands?

I think it is because we have an inherent male flaw, and that is while we may be able to pick up two hay bales and walk off with them, or swoop up that mouse in the foyer without high pitched screeching; our egos can be easily bruised. As an example, I remember being envious of a man because he had made anal sex very enjoyable for my wife, something that had previously been less than pleasure between her and I. From that encounter, our own sex life improved, but I have to admit, I was a little wounded that it took another man to show her how pleasurable that can be, and give me pointers by way of a third party.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think a sub-set of that bruised ego, is the TYPE of man a wife might choose. You hear this all the time, but in a subtle way, and often after a couple is divorced. “Oh my gosh, you would not believe who she is dating now. She is obvious settling”. That may me, or may not be; reality. She might just be dating the type of man she always wanted. Just because that man is not like you, does not mean she is not attracted to that. She obviously is; she is dating him. In fact if the marriage ended, then dating a different type of man personality wise, only makes sense. But really what the divorce husband is saying is, “I can’t believe she found someone else”. Again, a bruised ego.

But the point of this thread was highlighting the benefits of cuckolding, and this is a prime example of one. A married lady gets to date different kinds of men, not so much that she is shopping for a new husband, but by doing so, gets a broader sense of the opposite gender (or the same). Myself I have dated quite a few ladies, and it is nice, not just in terms of sex, but because people are people, and people are interesting. It might be me just saying, “I dated a lady one time who grew house plants in the strangest way, but it was cool because she…” To get to know people broadens your prospective on the world, and being intimate is getting to know someone on a level few other people get a chance at.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I think that the jealousy dynamic is an interesting one. How much of our jealousy is innate and how much is a matter of conditioning?

Borrowing from previous posts by Policywank it can be easily observed that across regions, times and cultures the variability in what is acceptable is quite extreme. Right now in 2023 there are men in the Middle East who will lose their minds if other men see their wife's face uncovered while men on beaches in the western world have no issue with their wife frolicking and chatting with other men while wearing a bikini. Here in North America the line is crossed so to speak when she becomes intimate with another man. We behave as though that is the universally accepted line that must not be crossed and everyone puts that line in the same place, but that just isn't true. Surely there is a conditioning element to it.

On that note I think that we are conditioned as men to expect that it is possible for us to be everything to our wife and that her mental emotional constitution is such that her love for us precludes interest in any other man. Yet we know that men are not that way at all. You could be married to the most beautiful woman on the planet and there will still be times when you are thinking about banging the 2nd most beautiful woman on the planet. And your wife knows this. She may not be thrilled about it, but she doesn't pretend that it isn't true. Women are not so different in that regard and the notion that they are is a pure fabrication meant to serve the patriarchy.

We've been conditioned to believe a version of female sexuality that is not and never has been true and accepting the fact that it might be different is very unsettling. For many men - even if their wife is fully devoted to monogamy and will legitimately resist the temptation of other - the mere fact that the temptation exists is too much to handle.

Again to borrow from Policywank we accept that men can enjoy all kinds of different meals yet need to believe that women only like the one dish that we know how to prepare. In truth, her enjoying a different dish doesn't mean that is now the only dish that she wants. It means she enjoys variety just like every other human.

 

[vodude]

In much of porn and the broader world I believe that the role of the cuckold is poorly understood, especially in the way it is regarded with derision. For this purpose I take the view that any man who supports his wife having sex with other men but does not himself have sex with other women (or is restricted in this regard) is a cuckold. I know there are differences of opinion on terminology but that really isn't the point of this thread.

Amongst people engaged or interested in this dynamic and in any literature that takes it seriously the cuckold is a man who appreciates his wife and is very much appreciated by his wife. Some couples engage in fetish play while others don't. For those that do it is a sort of psychological BDSM. Regardless of how it appears to the observer it is fully consensual, both partners enjoy it and underneath it all is a genuine mutual appreciation. I have never actually met, talked to or heard of a hotwife who actually views her cuckold with derision and disdain or who would stand idly by while another man is being genuinely abusive and hurtful towards him.

Do other people have a different experience?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple who has an open marriage (even if it isn't their thing) seemingly unable to comprehend this lifestyle?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple having a penchant for BDSM unable to comprehend a desire for cuckold fetish play?

Not sure I agree with you. I am a man, pretty much a dom and love controlling submissive sluts.
But I also like to be pegged, dress in lady stay up nylons, bodystocking and slips, had sex with a trans females and fantasize about being culkold’s and dominated by my wife all the time.

 

[policywank]

Not sure I agree with you. I am a man, pretty much a dom and love controlling submissive sluts.
But I also like to be pegged, dress in lady stay up nylons, bodystocking and slips, had sex with a trans females and fantasize about being culkold’s and dominated by my wife all the time.

So what are you disagreeing with? Nothing you said seems to be counter to my post.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think that the jealousy dynamic is an interesting one. How much of our jealousy is innate and how much is a matter of conditioning...

Interesting thoughts, truncated here for space and not by the valid points you make...

I think a lot of things are changing. For instance, in the past it was men who cheated on their wives and not the other way around, but today a wife is statistically more likely to cheat (defined as sex without her husbands knowledge and not true cuckolding) than the husband. And at my church where they have a program for those addicted to pornography, it used to be filled with all men, but now it is 50/50 filled with men and woman. An interesting statistic.

My wife confessed to me that she has always wanted to try having sex with two men at the same time, and I would think that would be a very popular fantasy for women. Myself, I am not keen on getting nude with another man, nor the crossing of the swords as it may be, but for my wife's happiness; yeah, I would do that. It is not going to kill me, and the last thing I want is for her to be on her death bed and say, "I should have tied being with two men at once". I can certainly put aside my male-male-female insecurities for the woman I love.

Is that a sign of submission, or a display of utter love? I guess that is to be debated.

 

[Tayloroc]

Interesting thoughts, truncated here for space and not by the valid points you make...

I think a lot of things are changing. For instance, in the past it was men who cheated on their wives and not the other way around, but today a wife is statistically more likely to cheat (defined as sex without her husbands knowledge and not true cuckolding) than the husband. And at my church where they have a program for those addicted to pornography, it used to be filled with all men, but now it is 50/50 filled with men and woman. An interesting statistic.

My wife confessed to me that she has always wanted to try having sex with two men at the same time, and I would think that would be a very popular fantasy for women. Myself, I am not keen on getting nude with another man, nor the crossing of the swords as it may be, but for my wife's happiness; yeah, I would do that. It is not going to kill me, and the last thing I want is for her to be on her death bed and say, "I should have tied being with two men at once". I can certainly put aside my male-male-female insecurities for the woman I love.

Is that a sign of submission, or a display of utter love? I guess that is to be debated.

It’s a sign of live and maturity!

 

[emme8]

Is that a sign of submission, or a display of utter love? I guess that is to be debated.

What is the difference exactly?

 

[lc69hunter]

Interesting thoughts, truncated here for space and not by the valid points you make...

I think a lot of things are changing. For instance, in the past it was men who cheated on their wives and not the other way around, but today a wife is statistically more likely to cheat (defined as sex without her husbands knowledge and not true cuckolding) than the husband. And at my church where they have a program for those addicted to pornography, it used to be filled with all men, but now it is 50/50 filled with men and woman. An interesting statistic.

My wife confessed to me that she has always wanted to try having sex with two men at the same time, and I would think that would be a very popular fantasy for women. Myself, I am not keen on getting nude with another man, nor the crossing of the swords as it may be, but for my wife's happiness; yeah, I would do that. It is not going to kill me, and the last thing I want is for her to be on her death bed and say, "I should have tied being with two men at once". I can certainly put aside my male-male-female insecurities for the woman I love.

Is that a sign of submission, or a display of utter love? I guess that is to be debated.

When a marriage/relationship gets to the point that the spouses can share their fantasies/desires without judgement or pressure from the other spouse, whether or not they ever make it real, the marriage is in a good place

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

When a marriage/relationship gets to the point that the spouses can share their fantasies/desires without judgement or pressure from the other spouse, whether or not they ever make it real, the marriage is in a good place

So true! In our case this is when our sexual lives hit another gear. All pretenses were dropped, honesty ruled the day and our relationship became even stronger.

 

[CuttingEdge]

It would be interesting to find out if any advocates of cuckolding "advertise" for it?

We don't per se. Or at least she does not have an ankle tattoo with the sign of spades, a pineapple tattoo... temporary or permanent, nor do we put a pineapple on our front porch, or any of the other signs that wife-sharing is an option.

But I do say "per se" because she does often wear an ankle bracelet. We both know what it CAN mean, but it is really not for that reason. I find them attractive, and she likes to wear them for me for that reason, and yes even to church. But it is not so that people ask, nor has anyone ever asked despite her wearing one often. I have seen people look however, and you can just read the look on some people's faces like a lady at a big box lumber store a few weeks ago. She looked down, noted the anklet, looked up, regarded her, and then looked at me. You could just see it on her face, "what does that anklet really mean", she was just dying to know, but could not decide. You could see it was just killing her not to know. It was comical to watch.

Myself, I hope wearing anklets never comes to just meaning the wearer is into wife-sharing, because that would mean they would only be worn for that. But from the other man's perspective (Bull) it would be convenient to know who could be approached, and who should not. For me, it would be flattering to hear some guy ask, but I am sure my wife would never wear one ever again if they did.

 

[pixie07]

It would be interesting to find out if any advocates of cuckolding "advertise" for it?

We don't per se. Or at least she does not have an ankle tattoo with the sign of spades, a pineapple tattoo... temporary or permanent, nor do we put a pineapple on our front porch, or any of the other signs that wife-sharing is an option.

But I do say "per se" because she does often wear an ankle bracelet. We both know what it CAN mean, but it is really not for that reason. I find them attractive, and she likes to wear them for me for that reason, and yes even to church. But it is not so that people ask, nor has anyone ever asked despite her wearing one often. I have seen people look however, and you can just read the look on some people's faces like a lady at a big box lumber store a few weeks ago. She looked down, noted the anklet, looked up, regarded her, and then looked at me. You could just see it on her face, "what does that anklet really mean", she was just dying to know, but could not decide. You could see it was just killing her not to know. It was comical to watch.

Myself, I hope wearing anklets never comes to just meaning the wearer is into wife-sharing, because that would mean they would only be worn for that. But from the other man's perspective (Bull) it would be convenient to know who could be approached, and who should not. For me, it would be flattering to hear some guy ask, but I am sure my wife would never wear one ever again if they did.

For us we don’t advertise that we are in a cuckold relationship but enough of our friends are family know about us that we do get asked about it often . When we do get asked my wife knowing I get off on the humiliation will definitely discuss it with whoever asked.

 

[hulmule]

So true! In our case this is when our sexual lives hit another gear. All pretenses were dropped, honesty ruled the day and our relationship became even stronger.

I've opened up over the years , but my wife is very private. Been a long road .But maybe one day she'll admit she's played with herself at least once...

 

[Bettytheboo]

I cuckold my partner, I don't care what he thinks. LOL

 

[SlutAddicted]

Interesting thoughts, truncated here for space and not by the valid points you make...

I think a lot of things are changing. For instance, in the past it was men who cheated on their wives and not the other way around, but today a wife is statistically more likely to cheat (defined as sex without her husbands knowledge and not true cuckolding) than the husband. And at my church where they have a program for those addicted to pornography, it used to be filled with all men, but now it is 50/50 filled with men and woman. An interesting statistic.

My wife confessed to me that she has always wanted to try having sex with two men at the same time, and I would think that would be a very popular fantasy for women. Myself, I am not keen on getting nude with another man, nor the crossing of the swords as it may be, but for my wife's happiness; yeah, I would do that. It is not going to kill me, and the last thing I want is for her to be on her death bed and say, "I should have tied being with two men at once". I can certainly put aside my male-male-female insecurities for the woman I love.

Is that a sign of submission, or a display of utter love? I guess that is to be debated.

I see it as a sign of love, not submission.

To the extent that traditionalists might see it as a sign of submission I think that comes from a dated way of thinking of women as possessions that must be controlled. Those people tend to see the absence of domination and control as synonymous with submission, which is nonsense.