Cuckold Appreciation

[policywank]

In much of porn and the broader world I believe that the role of the cuckold is poorly understood, especially in the way it is regarded with derision. For this purpose I take the view that any man who supports his wife having sex with other men but does not himself have sex with other women (or is restricted in this regard) is a cuckold. I know there are differences of opinion on terminology but that really isn't the point of this thread.

Amongst people engaged or interested in this dynamic and in any literature that takes it seriously the cuckold is a man who appreciates his wife and is very much appreciated by his wife. Some couples engage in fetish play while others don't. For those that do it is a sort of psychological BDSM. Regardless of how it appears to the observer it is fully consensual, both partners enjoy it and underneath it all is a genuine mutual appreciation. I have never actually met, talked to or heard of a hotwife who actually views her cuckold with derision and disdain or who would stand idly by while another man is being genuinely abusive and hurtful towards him.

Do other people have a different experience?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple who has an open marriage (even if it isn't their thing) seemingly unable to comprehend this lifestyle?

Why are people who can comprehend a couple having a penchant for BDSM unable to comprehend a desire for cuckold fetish play?

 

[lc69hunter]

I spend several years in the lifestyle in my younger days. I found mostly loving and consensual, with the requisite gentle teasing and humiliation (but not evil or harsh) from the wife. I saw fetish play in many, but not all of the couples, the most common being creampies, but also some some required servicing of me by the husband (including all the way). Funny thing is, I never once saw a cage or chastity device.

I believe that a loving and consensual cuckold relationship where they end up in each others arms holding each other at the end of the night, can be a beautiful thing.

The potential bad is where the wife suddenly decides her husband is weak and less of a man because of this, and goes rogue and evil, disrespecting her husband and worse. It does happen sometimes.

Just my thoughts

 

[policywank]

I spend several years in the lifestyle in my younger days. I found mostly loving and consensual, with the requisite gentle teasing and humiliation (but not evil or harsh) from the wife. I saw fetish play in many, but not all of the couples, the most common being creampies, but also some some required servicing of me by the husband (including all the way). Funny thing is, I never once saw a cage or chastity device.

I believe that a loving and consensual cuckold relationship where they end up in each others arms holding each other at the end of the night, can be a beautiful thing.

The potential bad is where the wife suddenly decides her husband is weak and less of a man because of this, and goes rogue and evil, disrespecting her husband and worse. It does happen sometimes.

Just my thoughts

Yes I suppose it does go that way sometimes, unfortunately. It takes a certain mindset from the wife have a balanced view of her cuckold. Those who don't understand the lifestyle seem to believe this outcome is inevitable though which I think is incorrect.

 

[lc69hunter]

Yes I suppose it does go that way sometimes, unfortunately. It takes a certain mindset from the wife have a balanced view of her cuckold. Those who don't understand the lifestyle seem to believe this outcome is inevitable though which I think is incorrect.

Agreed. Just read any number of stories in the LW area. In most cuckold stories, she turns into an evil cunt. And you and I both know that is not normally the case. I believe, maybe except for the humiliation/sph types, most husbands actually suggest/encourage this from a position of strength, the strength of their love, and desire to see her satisfied.

 

[policywank]

Agreed. Just read any number of stories in the LW area. In most cuckold stories, she turns into an evil cunt. And you and I both know that is not normally the case. I believe, maybe except for the humiliation/sph types, most husbands actually suggest/encourage this from a position of strength, the strength of their love, and desire to see her satisfied.

Yes and I believe that is the best place to come from. There is nothing wrong with the humiliation fetish or any other. But the foundation needs to be the cuckold's support of his wife rather than a desire to get her to do something she wouldn't otherwise do for his enjoyment. And in turn it is incumbent upon the hotwife to know her own heart and whether this experience will change the way she feels about her cuckold.

 

[lc69hunter]

Yes and I believe that is the best place to come from. There is nothing wrong with the humiliation fetish or any other. But the foundation needs to be the cuckolds support of his wife rather than a desire to get her to do something she wouldn't otherwise do for his enjoyment. And in turn it is incumbent upon the hotwife to know her own heart and whether this experience will change the way she feels about her cuckold.

Why can't we have more sane conversations about not only this, but other hot button issues???

As for the rogue wife, I am currently writing a story about a wife who does that, and too late realizes what she has lost or losing. Which is not my normal fare.

 

[policywank]

Why can't we have more sane conversations about not only this, but other hot button issues???

As for the rogue wife, I am currently writing a story about a wife who does that, and too late realizes what she has lost or losing. Which is not my normal fare.

I wish that we could. But sadly society has gotten anywhere near to the point of being truly accepting. We embrace specific things that used to be outside the mainstream in incremental steps but only as we are forced.

The people who advocated strongly for racial equality were, in many cases, sexist and homophobic. The gay community that fought for their rights has as many judgmental and intolerant people as any other community. Feminists can be as hateful as the people we dislike. Each group fights for their own emancipation while maintaining and even promoting their own tribalism.

Hell even people in non-monogamous lifestyles who embrace open marriages or swinging somehow can't quite accept the hotwife lifestyle. Even if the husband clearly indicates a disinterest in being with other women, other men behave as though he almost owes it to the gender to get out there and fornicate, lol.

I think that our default reaction is to automatically reject that which has not yet been officially accepted into the mainstream. Those that used to be on the outside complaining about their lack of acceptance almost immediately adopt the same attitude once they become part of the mainstream. There are relatively few people who are truly open and accepting of all preferences and perspectives.

 

[policywank]

Why can't we have more sane conversations about not only this, but other hot button issues???

As for the rogue wife, I am currently writing a story about a wife who does that, and too late realizes what she has lost or losing. Which is not my normal fare.

With my own stories - which are mostly in this genre - I like to explore as many scenarios and aspects as I can. It is interesting how many people will make negative comments on a story based upon what they think of the certain characters, especially the main character. I'm exploring a theme and a character, not advocating for them or holding them up as examples to follow. It seems that we have gotten so used to a certain type of narrative that we need to see everything balance out in the end.

 

[lc69hunter]

With my own stories - which are mostly in this genre - I like to explore as many scenarios and aspects as I can. It is interesting how many people will make negative comments on a story based upon what they think of the certain characters, especially the main character. I'm exploring a theme and a character, not advocating for them or holding them up as examples to follow. It seems that we have gotten so used to a certain type of narrative that we need to see everything balance out in the end.

I like your stories. In fact, I just saved Dirty Dawn2 as a favorite

 

[policywank]

Thank you so much. Now that is the kind of complement that gets my panties wet.

 

[Kate_part2]

I appreciate you

 

[rockynook]

My wife and I are very deep into a Femdom marraige. I have been a sub-sisssy-slave most of my life and we are every,very happy.
Ourlifestyle just seems normal,and to others within our" lifestyle circle"they feel the same way. I feel it is and honor and privilege to serve and obey a woman,and my wife enjoys being a Goddess. There are many vairables in our lifestyle and it never gets boring.
In our opinion, unforetunatley most people are opinionated and judgementel and therefore afraid to "step out" for fear of being judged.
I find it amazing that when we talk to our "vanilla" freinds they complain about their sex lives,but never change the situaion.
A famous quatation from Mark Twain: "if you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got".

 

[SevMax2]

Speaking from my own outsider perspective, it initially seemed like an inherently unjust and abusive relationship where consent was minimal at most, but my communication with actual participants has led to the conclusion that this is simply a porn trope most of the time, though there are unfortunate exceptions. The way I see it is water finds its own level and people are fundamentally individuals with personal quirks and kinks that are seldom wholly identical, even if roughly similar. This has even affected how I described it in some more recent tales, generally with supporting characters as it isn’t my own fetish, but one that I have tried to treat with less judgment and more understanding.

 

[policywank]

I appreciate you

Thank you very much.

 

[lc69hunter]

Lately there has been a real dearth in well written, realistic cuckold stories. The vast majority (and not even well written) are fetish or BDSM stories that just happen to have cuckolding in them. Because most cuckolding relationships have very little of that stuff in them.

Also, I have not seen a one-off cheating story, such as wife hooks up with the guy flirting with her at lunch, or a one-off while out of town, from the wife's perspective, for a long time.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Speaking from my own outsider perspective, it initially seemed like an inherently unjust and abusive relationship where consent was minimal at most, but my communication with actual participants has led to the conclusion that this is simply a porn trope most of the time, though there are unfortunate exceptions. The way I see it is water finds its own level and people are fundamentally individuals with personal quirks and kinks that are seldom wholly identical, even if roughly similar. This has even affected how I described it in some more recent tales, generally with supporting characters as it isn’t my own fetish, but one that I have tried to treat with less judgment and more understanding.

It is interesting how porn imagery sneaks into our perception of sexual matters even though we know consciously that it isn't an accurate representation of anything. I think that with something like the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle which is not broadly understood or even acknowledged outside of porn the dearth of information or perspective leads to the porn tropes taking on greater significance.

Certainly it is not for everybody and it isn't difficult to imagine the prospect of things going wrong if the relationship isn't very stable or if both partners aren't truly into it. But most of the interactions I have with people in the lifestyle or interested in it articulate a genuine connection and affection for one another.

Those who automatically disparage it I think don't really ever think about it enough to understand it. They just reject it based upon what they perceive on the surface.

I think that if you have a focus on the woman's sexual fulfillment you will at least see some of the merits of the lifestyle, especially if you recognize that the cuckold typically doesn't seek other women because he doesn't want to as opposed to because his wife has imposed some arbitrary cruelty on him. But if you see men as needing to be intrinsically possessive and weak if they are not then you'll never get it.

 

[lc69hunter]

It is interesting how porn imagery sneaks into our perception of sexual matters even though we know consciously that it isn't an accurate representation of anything. I think that with something like the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle which is not broadly understood or even acknowledged outside of porn the dearth of formation or perspective leads to the porn tropes taking on greater significance.

Certainly it is not for everybody and it isn't difficult to imagine the prospect of things going wrong if the relationship isn't very stable or if both partners aren't truly into it. But most of the interactions I have with people in the lifestyle or interested in it articulate a genuine connection and affection for one another.

Those who automatically disparage it I think don't really ever think about it enough to understand it. They just reject it based upon what they perceive on the surface.

I think that if you have a focus on the woman's sexual fulfillment you will at least see some of the merits of the lifestyle, especially if you recognize that the cuckold typically doesn't seek otters women because he doesn't want to as opposed to because his wife has imposed some arbitrary cruelty on him. But if you see men as needing to be intrinsically possessive and weak if they are not then you'll never get it.

exactly. Good insight

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think cuckolding can be a good thing for sure, and yes for everyone, at least when egos are in check.

I know my foray into cuckolding began when my best friend and I were clearing some land. In the midst of this, and with my wife present, he admitted that his wife never gave him a blowjob anymore. Without batting an eye, I said my wife liked giving them, and that she would give him one. He immediately looked over at her, and she nodded, a cozy little smile that said everything.

There was no ego’s present, I assure you. My friend had helped me so many times, and here there was a chance to give him something back that he really wanted, and was not getting. It was not like I was the only man my wife had ever given a blowjob too, and she was just as happy to please my best friend as I was. It all worked, but only because there was no egos at play.

But even in another setting, perhaps stereotypical, where my wife is at the bar and she gets hit on by another man, and ends up spending alone time with the man. For me, there is acknowledgement that my wife is desired by other men that really makes her special, and for my wife she has the same assurance and confidence that she ‘still has it’. But as long as the man is not regarding her as a simple conquest, then he also gets that same acknowledge and affirmation that he too ‘still has it’. That is good for everyone.

As a cuckold husband, I do not feel inferior, not at all, but rather more confident in myself. The other man; best friend or otherwise, did not sire our children, nor did he help pick out our home, personalize it with home improvements, nor work tirelessly in providing all the needs of the family. In that, I feel sorry for the man if he thinks she will leave all that because of a quick night of sex. It only really works when he too realizes what it is, but no more. Desired yes; yes he is, and that is a good thing, but bad if he somehow thinks she is going to leave all the security that our marriage is built upon just for that moment of pleasure.

It is WIFE-SHARING after all, and not WIFE-GIVING.

 

[policywank]

I think cuckolding can be a good thing for sure, and yes for everyone, at least when egos are in check.

I know my foray into cuckolding began when my best friend and I were clearing some land. In the midst of this, and with my wife present, he admitted that his wife never gave him a blowjob anymore. Without batting an eye, I said my wife liked giving them, and that she would give him one. He immediately looked over at her, and she nodded, a cozy little smile that said everything.

There was no ego’s present, I assure you. My friend had helped me so many times, and here there was a chance to give him something back that he really wanted, and was not getting. It was not like I was the only man my wife had ever given a blowjob too, and she was just as happy to please my best friend as I was. It all worked, but only because there was no egos at play.

But even in another setting, perhaps stereotypical, where my wife is at the bar and she gets hit on by another man, and ends up spending alone time with the man. For me, there is acknowledgement that my wife is desired by other men that really makes her special, and for my wife she has the same assurance and confidence that she ‘still has it’. But as long as the man is not regarding her as a simple conquest, then he also gets that same acknowledge and affirmation that he too ‘still has it’. That is good for everyone.

As a cuckold husband, I do not feel inferior, not at all, but rather more confident in myself. The other man; best friend or otherwise, did not sire our children, nor did he help pick out our home, personalize it with home improvements, nor work tirelessly in providing all the needs of the family. In that, I feel sorry for the man if he thinks she will leave all that because of a quick night of sex. It only really works when he too realizes what it is, but no more. Desired yes; yes he is, and that is a good thing, but bad if he somehow thinks she is going to leave all the security that our marriage is built upon just for that moment of pleasure.

It is WIFE-SHARING after all, and not WIFE-GIVING.

I think it is important for the wife to have a balanced perspective and see beyond the traditional views of sexuality. We have been force fed a very narrow version of female sexuality and our own attitudes towards monogamy, intimacy and emotional connection. When a woman does have sexual attraction to and feelings for a man other than her husband traditional thinking is that there must be a problem in her marriage or that she must make a choice. That can be exacerbated by the natural excitement that comes with being with someone new which is something that the long-term partner can’t replicate.

I have known women who experienced these dynamics after having an affair or consensual non-monogamist activity. In a couple of cases they end up blowing up their relationships only to realize that they till loved their husbands very much and the sexual desire they had for the other man was perfectly natural and didn’t mean any of the things that they had been conditioned to believe it meant.

The wife, as in your wife’s case, needs to have the awareness to realize that the only thing at play is that she likes to suck cock and your friend wanted to have his cock sucked and presumably they each had some sexual attraction to one another. Whether there is anything else at play is not for society to tell us.

Likewise when I have sex with another man it is because I find him attractive and I want to fuck him. Typically I have some kind of intimate connection as well. But that doesn’t take away the much more important and deep bond I have with my husband. The idea that it does or must is just a made up notion to compel us all to behave the way traditionalists want to compel us to behave.

 

[shewantsmore]

Ive been in the cuckold lifestyle off and on for over 16 years,it was my husbands idea in the first place and because i loved him i eventually agreed and it has been an up and down experience, no pun indended and it has changed our marriage but we are still married, 26 years so far

 

[SlutAddicted]

Up and down how (no pun intended). Get it in general but curious about your experience.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think it is important for the wife to have a balanced perspective and see beyond the traditional views of sexuality...

The above quote was truncated due to length and to give notice that she was being quoted. All are very valid points...

To that end...

Without question, wife-sharing can be a very powerful and pleasurable for everyone involved, but with anything powerful comes some semblance of responsibility too. While sex is just sex, so too is dynamite, but it is small and powerful and should not be freely given out to just anyone. In the right hands? Yes; mankind has positively shaped the world, just as a marriage would be positively shaped from wife-sharing.

But a couple must understand that it must be responsibility done. There could be serious consequences, increased when children may be involved, other spouses, or health concerns. It is nothing to be entered into lightly, but when permission is granted, it is the ultimate gift. Not because I am controlling, but because I have lifted the guilt from both my wife and my best friend when I say, “she will give you a blowjob”. There is a lot of trust, freedom and love wrapped up in that one statement, without it being stated.

But that can all be eroded if the spouse is unaware. Because it is such a huge gift; to outright cheat can be devastating. It would be no different than buying a new house without the others input. Could you imagine the fight a couple would have if that occurred? I would be furious; not because I would not want my wife to have the house that she desires, but because I want to be included in such a monumental purchase. How much involvement is there in wife sharing can be quite variable; from just knowing she is dressing up to go out with someone, to the direct approach I had with my best friend by suggesting my wife and him unite. Still there is input however.

For some, sharing a wife would be the seventh circle of hell, and for them I feel really saddened. They do not seem to understand that they cannot control their spouse no matter how good or bad they are as a husband. It is by love and devotion that their significant other chose and wed them, and by love, they stay with them. That needs to be appreciated no matter the dynamics of the marriage.

 

[lc69hunter]

The above quote was truncated due to length and to give notice that she was being quoted. All are very valid points...

To that end...

Without question, wife-sharing can be a very powerful and pleasurable for everyone involved, but with anything powerful comes some semblance of responsibility too. While sex is just sex, so too is dynamite, but it is small and powerful and should not be freely given out to just anyone. In the right hands? Yes; mankind has positively shaped the world, just as a marriage would be positively shaped from wife-sharing.

But a couple must understand that it must be responsibility done. There could be serious consequences, increased when children may be involved, other spouses, or health concerns. It is nothing to be entered into lightly, but when permission is granted, it is the ultimate gift. Not because I am controlling, but because I have lifted the guilt from both my wife and my best friend when I say, “she will give you a blowjob”. There is a lot of trust, freedom and love wrapped up in that one statement, without it being stated.

But that can all be eroded if the spouse is unaware. Because it is such a huge gift; to outright cheat can be devastating. It would be no different than buying a new house without the others input. Could you imagine the fight a couple would have if that occurred? I would be furious; not because I would not want my wife to have the house that she desires, but because I want to be included in such a monumental purchase. How much involvement is there in wife sharing can be quite variable; from just knowing she is dressing up to go out with someone, to the direct approach I had with my best friend by suggesting my wife and him unite. Still there is input however.

For some, sharing a wife would be the seventh circle of hell, and for them I feel really saddened. They do not seem to understand that they cannot control their spouse no matter how good or bad they are as a husband. It is by love and devotion that their significant other chose and wed them, and by love, they stay with them. That needs to be appreciated no matter the dynamics of the marriage.

There is never complete secrecy in these relationships, even if wanted, and quite often their friends all know. Like you said, it can get problematic if employers/family find out.

I am currently writing a true story based upon a couple (close friends, so I know) where the 16 year old daughter (I am making her 18 for the story) finds them. I am not making it evil, because it didn't turn out that way (this was several years ago). After Mom explained what it was about, daughter thought it was hot. She asked her Dad a lot of questions, and teased him gently, but loved him. Angie (the wife), also my favorite bartender, told me the other night that now that she is of age, the daughter wants to watch Dad in a cuckold situation. She is going to let her. I personally think it is hot. sometimes true stories can be.

I suspect that daughter, with Mom's guidance, will end up finding a man like her father.

 

[SlutAddicted]

One of the things my wife corrected me on early on was the term wife sharing. It isn't wrong, but she wanted to put it in context.

If I give you a bite of my sandwich I am sharing something that belongs to me and over which I own the rights to share or not share as I see fit. If you sit down next to me on a park bench we are sharing that bench, but neither of us owns that bench or has any rights to say who can share it with us.

My wife and her sex do not and never have belonged to me. Even when we were monogamous I had no rights over her sex and certainly not the latitude to decide to share it with others. She had at that time committed not to share her sex with anyone else, but that in no way altered her ownership and absolute right to manage her sex as she sees fit. To the extent that a woman commits to be exclusive with her husband that commitment may be revoked at any time and her only obligation is to inform her husband in a timely manner.

I don't mean to make that sound overly legalistic. But the point she was making to me is that the old school religious idea that marriage must be for life or patriarchal notion that a woman belongs to her husband do not apply. That doesn't mean she can do whatever the fuck she wants without regard for me. She is very respectful of our relationship and sensitive to my needs and feelings because that is our commitment not because she forfeits any rights to her own sex.

 

[policywank]

The above quote was truncated due to length and to give notice that she was being quoted. All are very valid points...

To that end...

Without question, wife-sharing can be a very powerful and pleasurable for everyone involved, but with anything powerful comes some semblance of responsibility too. While sex is just sex, so too is dynamite, but it is small and powerful and should not be freely given out to just anyone. In the right hands? Yes; mankind has positively shaped the world, just as a marriage would be positively shaped from wife-sharing.

But a couple must understand that it must be responsibility done. There could be serious consequences, increased when children may be involved, other spouses, or health concerns. It is nothing to be entered into lightly, but when permission is granted, it is the ultimate gift. Not because I am controlling, but because I have lifted the guilt from both my wife and my best friend when I say, “she will give you a blowjob”. There is a lot of trust, freedom and love wrapped up in that one statement, without it being stated.

But that can all be eroded if the spouse is unaware. Because it is such a huge gift; to outright cheat can be devastating. It would be no different than buying a new house without the others input. Could you imagine the fight a couple would have if that occurred? I would be furious; not because I would not want my wife to have the house that she desires, but because I want to be included in such a monumental purchase. How much involvement is there in wife sharing can be quite variable; from just knowing she is dressing up to go out with someone, to the direct approach I had with my best friend by suggesting my wife and him unite. Still there is input however.

For some, sharing a wife would be the seventh circle of hell, and for them I feel really saddened. They do not seem to understand that they cannot control their spouse no matter how good or bad they are as a husband. It is by love and devotion that their significant other chose and wed them, and by love, they stay with them. That needs to be appreciated no matter the dynamics of the marriage.

Oh yes. I have always said that the hot wife needs to be exceptionally aware of her actions and the impact on immediate family, especially her cuckold. It isn't sufficient to have a set of rules or do's and don'ts. It isn't ok for me to hurt my husband and hide behind the premise that I didn't mean to do so or that whatever I did wasn't against the "rules". The parameters of our relationship are different than that of a traditional monogamous marriage. That doesn't mean there are no parameters or that I have full latitude to be as elfish as I want And since our relationship is so non-traditional there is an extra high onus on me to conduct myself appropriately.